After Tsu'na explained her latex bomb and her rationale for it, I told her about the idea of "crowd control". She went off to the library to research it and came back asking about chile peppers. May's Market didn't have any, so we wound up going back towards Tulsa and hitting a Safeway on the way there. She spent a day messing with recipes and taking face baths until she came up with something she was happy with.

Now she has a pepper latex bomb. I Pity the Fool.

Sam, it seems, can get hard cider. I'd looked online and found OK Cider, "Oklahoma's Only Cider", but Sam managed Woodchuck, which was fine. He got a bottle out of the fridge case, brought it to us at the bar and opened it. We waited again as Tsu'na tasted. When she didn't pass it back to me we knew we had a winner, and Sam went and fetched me one too.

"This is not at all like that beer," she said.

"I know, right? Though it's still alcohol, so go easy with your first one."

Sam opened and handed me a bottle. "So, I been thinking. You handled yourself pretty well the other night. I could use a bouncer for Friday and Saturday nights. You interested?"

I looked to Tsu'na, who asked, "What is a bouncer?"

"A guard for a bar. Throws out people who don't behave."

She nodded slowly. "It is better than escort duty."

"Anything's better than escort duty. Okay, sure, we're in."

Sam's brow wrinkled. "We?"

"My wife and I can take turns. I take one night, she takes the other."

"Uh...dunno if this is a job for a lady..."

I smiled. "Tsu'na, my love. Have you heard of arm wrestling?"

We moved to the new table. I explained the rules to her, and she set her elbow down. Sam probably thought I was humoring the missus, but he sat down opposite her and grasped her hand.

I said, "Be gentle, okay?"

Sam snorted. "I'll try."

"Go."

Sam pushed. He pushed harder. His smile turned into a grimace as he put more and more effort into pushing against Tsu'na's hand, which simply didn't move.

She sat politely for a moment while Sam struggled, then asked me, "How gentle?"

"Not that gentle."

SLAM

"Maybe more gentle than that."

"...sht....fck..." Sam was doing his best not to cuss in front of a lady. Tsu'na glanced at me. I shook my head.

He gripped his shoulder, took a few deep breaths, and managed, "Job's yours."

"Cool. Cash or cider?"

"What...?"

"Will you be paying in cash, or is this more on the tab?"

"I'll write you checks."

"Can't do checks. We're kind of cash-only."

He squinted at me through the pain.

"Actually, tell you what. You've got a big shed out back. You using it for anything?"

"...No, came with the bar. Think someone had a truck in it or something."

"Well, we can use a workshop for making the tables and all. How about we fix it up and use it, and you can call that our pay?"

He stared at me. "You'll work for beer and you'll bounce for rent."

I shrugged.

"You guys are weird."

I smiled.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just don't burn it down."

"Or you'll call the Sheriff?"

Sam snorted. "Like he'd know what to do with you." He got up and went back to the bar, still working his shoulder.

I fetched our bottles from the bar and joined Tsu'na at the table. She took a pull from hers, then leaned in and murmured, "Are you thinking of building airships, Husband?"

"Well. Big projects, certainly."

"What is bigger than an airship?"

"We'll figure that out, won't we?"

She nestled against my shoulder. "The cider is cold. Why does it make me feel warm?"

I wrapped my arm around her. "That'll be the alcohol. Maybe I should get you to bed."

She rested a hand on my chest. "What is wrong with here?"

"Definitely the alcohol. Guess you're a lightweight."

"Does that mean you will carry me?"

"Support, my love." I got her to her feet. "I will always support you."

"Perhaps I want to be carried. I am leveling in alcohol."

She didn't stagger; she was just warm and cuddly. Still, as I got her outside, I couldn't resist the impulse. I scooped her off her feet. She giggled and rested her head against my shoulder.

"Carry me forever, Husband."

"To the ends of the Earth, my love."