VINCENT WAS A bastard child.

Suitable enough to work for nobility but not too good for spying on his father's behalf. I wasn't sure what my opinion had been about him before, but I knew precisely what I thought of him now.

"Did you ever force yourself on Lily?" I demanded.

"Of course not," Vincent purred. "I can't have my future wife thinking such things of me."

"I still wouldn't put it past you," Lily scoffed.

"I have respectable manners," Vincent countered. "But I did what I felt what necessary. Lord Hugo promised to get me Lily's hand in marriage if I could find him a way of acquiring Miss Mora's," he explained.

"I will never marry you," my handmaiden spat.

"I'd suggest that you do marry him," the Lady then clipped coldly. "I'd expect that none of us want word of whatever...experiment, that you conducted on my daughter, to get out to the public."

"It wasn't an experiment," I frowned.

"We fell in love," Lily backed me up.

The Lady suddenly marched over and struck Lily's cheek, her dark eyes wild and angry. "Don't you ever utter such sin within my household."

"Mother!" I gasped.

"And you," she seethed, grabbing hold of my wrist. "You are to do as you are told. Whether by me, or Lord Hugo. The choice is yours, but either way, you will never see this wretched girl again."

"No!" Lily cried, but Vincent was already pulling her backwards firmly by her shoulders.

Away from me.

It was profoundly familiar and upsetting.

My throat closed up. Words wouldn't come out of my agape mouth. I felt like I was detached —watching this all happen to someone else. Someone so unfortunate and pitiful. Someone I then somehow convinced myself wasn't me. I was helpless but to watch as Lily and Vincent quickly disappeared through the doors, with Lily's cries and sobbing echoing.

I was still a spectator as I turned to see Lord Hugo extending a hand towards me. I stared at his palm blankly as the Lady held her breath.

"Don't make this hard," he said gently. "I've been after you for a long time. Every time that I feel you are within reach, you drift even further. I thought...if I removed any distractions, you would see that I truly care for you. I could rid you of your curse if you would just choose me —but you're still too blind to see it."

His words buzzed and vibrated in my ear; half there and half muffled. Distant. Cold.

"To see what?" I asked.

He pressed his lips together tightly as though he were in anguish, and his golden eyes now pleaded. "Marry me, Mora. And I will ease your troubles."

He was scarily genuine.

I looked between his hand, and the Lady's face.

She wanted this so badly. I almost wished that she marry him instead, but he was very intent on me. And she would settle for that, because it would ensure that our estate fell into good hands —a domineering husband's hands. I couldn't fulfil her wish.

I couldn't love him. I couldn't love any man. And she had just taken away the one person I did love.

Is this how it happened? Was my life this tormented? This is what my mother and Quetzalcoatl and their love had brought upon me. I didn't ask for any of this —this hereditary burden.

I glanced at the window. It was a mere few steps away. I could jump from here; I would either end up paralysed or break my neck —both were favourable.

I looked back at Lord Hugo and gave him my answer. "...I would rather die."

He nor the Lady had much time to react as I then twisted free and ran towards the window —and smashed through it, to the six storeys below.

I didn't feel the impact of hitting the street, but I gasped as I blinked to the sight of the room with the water fountain again. I looked down —I was back in my present form, all dusty and brown.

I turned to my right —and she was there.

Her hair, as golden and silky as the sunshine, and her light blue-green eyes wide. As beautiful as she had always been, in every lifetime.

"Lorenne," I whispered.

"Maya," she said back.

My cheeks flushed. "Did you...did you see —"

"Everything?" she cut in. "Yes."

She knew about the sacrifice. She knew about the suicide. She knew about how completely desperate we were —how we had always been.

And I don't think that we then needed words.

She walked closer. I mirrored her movements, my steps unsure but relentless. Then we met in the middle. Up close, I could see the pattern of her eyes. I wondered if she could see the true colour of mine.

Soulmate.

It was inherently a bad thing. A terrible, wicked thing. To be stuck in a never ending loop of both failure and success, and to forget it all and begin again. But when I took in my soulmate, really looked at her...all I felt was love. And yearning. Despite the pain.

I reached for both sides of her face, and abruptly pressed my lips to hers.

A kind of explosion went off inside of my chest —electric, colourful and beautiful. My confidence driven spontaneity then halted, and I then registered what I was doing. Her lips were so soft and warm against mine. I didn't move to pull away. Neither did she.

A sad, uncomfortable cough then interrupted us however. We turned to see a large coyote, its golden eyes cold and sharp, glowering in our direction.

"...Huehuecoyotl," I breathed. I was about to go on and ask something, when Valdez then suddenly appeared in a swirl of smoke beside him.

"Valdez," I quipped and stepped away from Lorenne, suddenly feeling guilty for not thinking about him. His sour expression worsened my self consciousness. He looked shaken. Disturbed. I almost felt responsible. "What...what did you see?" I asked.

He glared down at his shoes.

Whatever it was, had been too much. It had been nothing like the revelations Lorenne and I had seen. It had been a nightmare for him —then a wake up call.

Lorenne put a hand on my shoulder. "You really can't see it?" she whispered. "Look carefully."

I looked. I stared at the coyote and Valdez, racking my brain for anything I had seen in my past lives. And as I continued to study them, something shifted —the coyote. He changed his appearance again.

I thought that I would gasp, or appear shocked. But the golden eyes now made sense. I clenched my jaw, as before me stood Lord Hugo.

author's note |
almost there, almost there...