I felt shitty for what I said. I wasn't used to talking to people like that.

And even worse, the questions inside my head were left unanswered.

Ahron consoled me na tama naman ang ginawa ko. Na dapat lang putulin ko kung ano man ang pwedeng mag-start between us, be friendship or something else, simply because it wasn't right. My reason must have looked so petty, childish more like, but I couldn't help it.

Still, I knew I was too harsh. Tulad nga ng sabi niya, he had to do it. That meant my brother did something, too, which also meant I was out of line kanina.

I should've asked for his reason. Hindi ko dapat pinairal ang pride ko.

Ginulo ko ang buhok ko out of frustration, muttering curses to myself.

I didn't like having confusing feelings. This, this wasn't me. I was usually composed and confident about everything, especially about matters related to guys. That was my turf, my forte. I usually know what to do. But now?

I was so confused. About my own feelings.

Lalo na kapag naaalala ko yung expression ni Racel kanina. He looked disappointed, and I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination pero I also caught a tiny flicker of hurt in his eyes. Mabilis lang 'yon but I saw it. Kung pride issue man 'yon or what, it didn't matter. I ended up feeling guilty about it all the same.

I really shouldn't be feeling this way.

It was obviously the best choice for the both of us. He'd be safe from the boys and I'd safe from any issues. Win-win, so I had no reason to feel anything except relief.

A cold can pressed against my cheeks, pulling me out of my stupor.

Paglingon ko, it was Angelo's cool dimpled smile that immediately greeted me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He threw me the can of soda, which I caught easily, as he stepped onto the deck of the wooden swing and sat beside me.

My gaze lingered on him for a full minute. Mukha siyang fresh out of the shower dahil mamasa-masa pa ang buhok niya. Bagay sa kanya ang damp, wavy hair look. Kinda gave him a refreshing air. Even that simple brown sweater he was wearing.

"Why aren't you with your friends?"

Nasa field pa kasi ang iba, mga nag-ja-jam. Even from where we were, naririnig ko yung pagtugtog ng gitara at pagkanta ng ibang mga estudyante. On normal occasions, I would've joined them. Lalo na at hilig ko 'yan. But not today. I wasn't in the mood for it.

And I was avoiding him too.

I frowned at the thought. Here I go again, thinking about him again.

"Napansin ko kasing you were missing e," sagot ni Angelo, once again breaking my train of thoughts. He leaned back against the wooden swing.

I didn't respond. Binuksan ko lang yung Coke na bigay niya at ininom 'yon.

I sighed.

"Everything okay?"Angelo said, his voice taking a curious and concerned lilt.

Truth was, bothered pa rin ako sa nangyari kanina, pero having someone with me right now, like this, helped ease my worries away kahit papano. Or was it just this guy's effect in general?

Angelo had this aura kasi―na just by looking at him, you'd feel like smiling yourself. You'd feel as though you're one step ahead of your problems. His sunny and cool disposition was really just too contagious that even a worrywart would feel better with him around.

"I'm good," sabi ko na lang just to end the topic. I didn't feel like explaining anything at the moment.

"Oh? You look like shit though."

My head whipped around at his comment. "Geez. Thank you, a."

He didn't look amused though. Far from it. He wasn't smiling and sort of looked like he was in deep thought, assessing me. His brows were furrowed as he asked, "No, seriously. You okay?"

"If I say no, what would you do?"

He made an innocent expression, shrugging his shoulders. "I dunno, try to help? Listen?"

"I got nothing to spill though."

He nodded. "That's okay. I think I have the gist naman na."

Napatingin ako sa kanya, nakataas ang mga kilay. "You do?"

"Yeah," he answered without any trace of humor in his tone. "Kinda hard to miss it, don't you think?"

At that, I paused a bit, slightly startled at his serious mood. Nasanay na kasi ako sa maloko niyang ugali kaya hindi ko in-expect na may ganitong side din pala siya. But that was to be expected, I guess, lalo na at tropa siya ni Kuya Andrei. My brother didn't just mingle with anyone.

Ngumisi ako, just to lighten the mood. "In fairness. Sensible ka rin pala. Who would've thought?"

That familiar signature grin danced back to his lips, and he let out a deep chuckle. "Ikaw lang naman, e. You're underestimating me way too much."

We lapsed into comfortable silence after that, pinakikinggan lang ang music na nanggagaling sa field. I was already humming along nang magsalita siya ulit.

"Life, he realized, was much like a song," he whispered loud enough for me to hear, then sipping again from his soda. "In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation."

My eyes widened as the words settled in, and then I gasped.

"The Last Song?"

He nodded, a slow smile stilling upon his lips.

"Wait, so that means . . . Fudge, bookworm ka?"

"Kind of," simpleng sagot niya. His grey eyes were lighting up na para bang natatawa siya sa reaction ko. "My sister's a wide reader. I read her collections from time to time."

"Wow," I breathed out in amazement, looking him over as if it was our first meeting. "Nice. I didn't peg you as someone who reads. Really nice," I admitted.

"Judgmental much?" He joked. "I'm guessing, you din?"

"Yeah! Definitely! What genre do you read mostly?"

"Mystery. Suspense. Action. Anything with thrill in it. Basta 'wag romance."

I tilted my head and feigned surprise. "Ayaw mo ng romance?" Naningkit ang mga mata ko. "Blasphemy."

Nag-angat siya ng kilay. "You dig that?"

"As the sub-genre, oo naman."

"Such a girl." Umiling siya at tumawa.

I clicked my tongue. "Who's judgmental now?"

He chuckled freely, his low laughter ringing around us like a melody. Natawa na rin ako at the odd turn of events. Sino bang mag-aakala na I'd be here right now, talking to this guy and actually enjoying it? Pakiramdam ko, mas nakikilala ko siya.

I could feel a good friendship in the making. Not to mention he's also a good―no, the best distraction.

"So," he said, changing his position so that he would be looking at me now, "Aside from books, what else? You a music junk?"

"Yep, among other things."

"What other things?"

"The usual. I love to dance, love animes, shows, and games. I also love doing water sports with my bros." I paused, remembering something, "Lately, I'm trying to get into ice skating. For fun lang, since I find it smooth."

"Cool. You can do that? Nice," he said and grinned. "Panood ako minsan."

I waved my free hand. "'Wag na. Mabo-bore ka lang."

"Weh?"

"Oo nga." Tumawa ako.

"Then teach me." He waggled his brows.

"Pag-iisipan ko muna. Are you willing to pay for my time?"

He barked a laugh. "Damn. I like you. You're really okay."

"Yeah," I said proudly, "I like myself too."

Napangiti na rin ako nang lalo pa siyang napatawa. In that instant, I could feel my anxieties ebbing away, literally and figuratively.

This guy, he's really contagious. The way he laughed so much and so easily reminded me of the boys. The confident but calm posture, the smoothness and ease ng pagdadala niya sa sarili niya, even yung pagbibiro niya na parang wala siyang inaalala sa mundo. Nakakawili. It's enticing, and I could see why he's so close with them.

In a way, I'm thankful that he sought me out tonight. At least, nawala yung mga iniisip ko kanina.

When we stopped laughing, I noticed some students were already retreating back to their cabins. Tumayo na rin ako para magpaalam at bumalik na kina Ahron.

"Hey, wait," Angelo called out. Hinablot niya ang wrist ko, sabay angat ng tingin sa 'kin. "Can't you stay for a bit longer? I don't wanna leave yet."

"Baka mapagalitan tayo."

"This isn't a retreat, you know." He reminded me, looking like he was sincerely asking me to stay. "Besides, lights off won't be until ten. Nine-thirty pa lang. I still have thirty minutes with you."

"'Di ka pa ba pagod? Ang dami kaya nating ginawa kanina."

His grey eyes sparkled with mirth. "Not yet, no. I'm enjoying this. Aren't you?"

Ngumuso ako.

When I went back to sit beside him, he grinned triumphantly.

"So, what now?" I asked him.

He hummed thoughtfully, playing with the empty can in his hand. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Ikaw kaya 'tong gusto pang makipag-usap," sabi ko sa kanya. "Ikaw mauna. Just tell me something. Kahit ano. Your hobbies. Or anything."

"Hmm." For a full second, he seemed to be in deep thought, staring at the group of students frolicking in the field. "Me, I can draw. I love to draw"

"Style? Theme?"

"I try to do everything. I'll draw you minsan."

"Nako," biro ko, laughing a little. "Mahihirapan ka. Special kaya ng face ko. Ganda." I said that to mess with him, but he surprised me when he agreed.

"Yeah, you are. I agree naman," he replied with a nod, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It wasn't even a flirtatious remark. "But anyway, I'm more into sceneries. When I sky dive, I try to commit the view to memory and from there, draw it out. They're my masterpieces."

"Whoa, wait," I exclaimed. "Sky diving? You? As in?"

"Yeah. You wanna try?"

Napawi ang ngiti ko. "'Di ako papayagan."

"Nino?"

"My brothers."

He seemed to understand kagad. "Ah, Andrei?"

"Kung si Kuya Andrei, payag 'yon but my other brothers, nah. Not unless kasama sila. They're the overbearing type."

He stared at me for a second. And then he blinked. "So you actually ask for permission pa pala. I thought you're pretty much independent na, basing on your personality. But then again, from what I hear from your brother... they really do sound like overprotective jerks."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. Overprotective jerks. Yeah, they really were.

Pasagot na ako nang maramdaman ko ang vibration ng phone ko. I snickered when I saw who it was. Here's the overprotective jerk . . .

Kuya Jacob:
Kelan uwi mo?

Me:
Day after tom. Why? Miss me?

Binulsa ko ulit ang phone ko at lumingon sa katabi ko. Pansin kong yung mga ingay na nanggagaling sa fields, unti-unti nang nawawala. Well, it was getting late. Malapit na kami sa curfew namin.

I decided to answer what Angelo said earlier. "I usually am. About the independent thing, I mean, Pero hindi sa ganitong bagay. And kahit na close kayo ni Kuya, stranger ka pa rin, you know? Mamaya, stalker slash psychotic murderer ka pala. Mahirap na," biro ko.

"You'll never know." He flashed a wicked, teasing smile. "Malay mo, frustrated suitor pala 'ko."

"Exactly." I chuckled, and immediately added, "Pero hindi talaga ako papayagan kung 'di sila kasama. Unless school-related o kasama sina Ahron."

"Is that the only issue? That's easy," he answered. "Let's bring them along."

I looked away for effect. "Tempting, pero bahala na." I said. "Pag-iisipan ko."

"Really, the classic brush-off? Just tell me you're afraid of sky diving and go," he teased, crunching his nose.

I scoffed. "As if. I'm not that afraid of heights."

"Weh?" He chuckled. "You shouldn't be, though. If you decide to jump and fall, I'll catch you naman."

"Last time I checked, you're not Superman."

"I could be."

Natawa ako sa kakornihan kaya sinuntok ko siya sa braso. When he evaded and laughed again at my attempt, a thought formed in my head.

I think alam ko na kung anong type 'tong si Angelo.

"Know what? You're one of the few girls who can shoot me down like that."

"You realize you sound like a total playboy right now?"

"Who said I wasn't?"

I blinked at what he said. Teka. So, he was admitting it? Openly?

"Who's better then? Ikaw o si Kuya Jacob?"

"Jacob?" he repeated. "Nah. I've got nothing on him. Your bro commit way too much, way too often. How he even manages his time is beyond me. I like to keep things simple. No strings, no complications."

Napatawa ako, despite myself. He just admitted out loud what he is. A Notorious Charmer. Bagay nga sa kanya, with that personality type.

But the discovery didn't matter as much. Alam naman namin parehas na forbidden territory ang bawat isa. At imposible din na magkagusto ako dito. Bro code.

Watching me, Angelo gave me a strange look, the smile on his face not leaving. "Gags, I'm totally kidding. I'm not a play boy."

"Yeah. Like players ever admit they are one."

"You can always see for yourself."

"See? That is a very play boy thing to say."

"What? I'm just saying if we're gonna be friends, you'll get to know that I really am not a 'player' like you're claiming me to be," he reasoned out, air-quotting the word player.

I was gonna respond to that when my phone vibrated again.

Kuya Jacob:
Asa. The Zobels are coming home. They want a reunion ASAP.

Natigilan ako sa text ni Kuya. By Zobel, he meant our relatives sa mother side. Most of them though were in London, at yung iba naman na nasa Pilipinas, nasa Negros. Nandoon kasi ang family business nila. Sino kaya ang uuwi?

Me:
Sino?

Kuya Jacob:
Tita Chynna and Tito Geoff. Also, Tito Patrick and his new wife. Mom and Dad are coming home, too.

Me:
Whoa. For real? That's great!!

Kuya Jacob:
Ik. Text me when your camp is over. Sunduin kita.

Me:
No need. :p naks. Missed me talaga.

Kuya Jacob:
No need my ass.
And why are you still up? Go to sleep!

Me:
Ayoko pa :p

"Who's that?" sabi ni Angelo, padungaw na sa phone ko. Nilayo ko 'yon sa paningin niya. "One of your brothers?"

"It's Kuya Jacob."

"Yeah," I said fondly.

Kuya Jacob:
Why? You with someone?

"Alam niya bang you're with me right now?" Angelo asked me.

"Nope, ngayon pa lang," sagot ko naman habang tina-type yung sagot.

Me:
Yup. Angelo.

Kuya Jacob:
Sino?

Me
Chill. Friend mo. Castillo.

Kuya Jacob:
Bat kasama mo yan? Gabi na!

Sabay kaming napatawa nang biglang nag-ring ang phone niya.

"Damn, they really are overprotective. I thought they were just kidding when they told me they are, but I guess it's true," Angelo was saying, which gave me the impression that my brothers, somehow, had mentioned me more than once to him before.

"Be nice. Baka naka-activate ang beast button n'yan."

Angelo shot me an amused glance, and then answered, "Yo. What's meron?" 'Di pa man tumatagal, umalingawngaw na agad ang halakhak niya. "Can't help it, bro. She's nice. Yeah, yeah. I know." He crunched his nose in distaste. "Yeah, dude. Shit, Andrei's gonna kill me. Oo na, I'll leave her alone." A pause, and then with a laugh, he added, "Yeah, yeah. I get it. Love you too, dude." Then he hung up.

"Ano sabi?" I asked.

"Aside from death threats? Nothing much," he said with a grin.

Napailing ako. "Si Kuya talaga. Sabi mo close kayo. E ba't gano'n?"

"Exactly the reason why. Because he knows me," he replied quickly. Then, he shook his head and sniggered at some private joke. "He even reminded me of that thing. What, bro code?"

I nodded. Oo nga. Sensitive nga sa bro code sina Kuya.

"Man, it's amazing how those idiots adhere to that," pagbibiro niya, and then he looked at me deeply, the mischievous smile shifting into a genuine, honest one. "And you're extremely lucky, too―damn lucky to be surrounded by a nice, cool fam. "

Parang may hugot do'n but I didn't voice it out. Instead, I answered his sincere remark.

"Yeah, I know. Sobra."

May mga grupo ng lalaki ang dumaan at kumaway sa amin. The guy beside me lazily waved back. One of them was gesturing to him, pointing their cabin area. Mukhang tinatawag na siya. He dismissed them with a shake of the head before pointing a look at me, which the guy clearly understood.

Nang umalis sila, bigla naman siyang nag-inat at kunwaring naghikab. Tumayo siya at lumingon sa 'kin. "Kainggit. You're one big happy family. Makes me wanna be one of you. What do you say? Tayo na lang kaya?"

Sus. Kung magbiro siya, akala mo hindi niya kausap si Kuya Jacob kanina.

But then again, alam ko naman na hindi siya seryoso. Alam ko na kahit ganyan lang siya, sumusunod din siya sa bro code nila. He may be joke around and flirt a lot but I could see it in his eyes. The respect, the pride. Nag-flashback din sa 'kin yung sinabi niya na off-limits ako sa kanya.

And that was how I knew. He was safe. Angelo was safe.

Nakakatuwa lang din isipin na sa maikling panahon, na in just two days, medyo nagkalapit kami. I guess I really felt comfortable with him.

Inubos ko na ang Coke ko at tumayo na rin.

"As if papatol ako sa 'yo."

"Why not? I think we'll hit it off really well."

"Know what? I think sigurado na ako about what you are."

"What I am?"

"Yeah. You're a charmer." I yawned and then threw the cans of sodas in the bin. "It's a good talk pero inaantok na ako, dude."

Angelo smiled. "Okay. I'll walk you to the cabin." Pumorma siya na susunod sa 'kin.

I stopped him, knowing fully well that our cabins were in different areas. "'Wag na."

"Sure?"

I nodded.

"Alright, then." He smiled. "Goodnight, Jamie V."

"Talagang 'yan na ang tawag mo sa 'kin, a?"

"Why not? At least only I can get to call you that."

"Okay fine, bahala ka na. Goodnight."

He gave me a salute and his warmest grin. I didn't realize it but I was grinning, too, on my way back.

***

Sumunod na araw, ginising ako nang pagkaaga-aga ni Camille. Yung pagkalawak-lawak na ngiti niya ang sumalubong kagad sa 'kin. When I wandered my gaze around, nakita kong gano'n din sina Ahron at Bea. It was probably because it was our last day na. Ngayon na rin ang amazing race na inaabangan nila mula pa kahapon.

Fudge.

Ako rin. Just by thinking about it, I couldn't help but bounce with excitement.

"Girl, bilisan mo ang pag-aayos, a. We need to warm up bago ang race," Camille told me, wearing that exuberant grin, while doing some arm-stretching.

I sneaked a glance at the clock. "May one hour pa naman ako, a."

"Kahit na! Magkagrupo tayo. Dapat mataas ang energy level natin mamaya!"

Tinawanan ko na lang siya at hinayaan. Ganyan talaga 'yan e. Competitive. Tumayo na ako at nag-ayos.

In preparation for the activity, I wore a loose shirt and gym shorts, plus my kicks. Sa hitsura at laki nitong lugar, malamang sinulit nina Melissa ang paggawa ng activity.

Papalabas na sana ako nang bigla akong tinawag ni Ahron. She gave the two a meaningful look kaya nauna na sila.

She didn't speak at first, so I looked at her, waiting.

"It's the last day. No more after this," she said in a knowing tone.

I knew that.

I also knew what she was implying, and that she was only looking out for me.

Nginitian ko siya. Tight-lipped lang. "Thanks, babe."

She nodded lang, and we proceeded na do'n sa field na malapit sa dining hall para mag-warm-up exercise. Marami na rin ang gising at nag-e-exercise ngayon. Mga excited din katulad namin.

I spotted Ivan there, and he quickly jogged over to Camille and me. Nadaanan ko rin ng tingin si Angelo na kasa-kasama ang mga co-Laconistas niya. He waved at me, which I returned with a nod.

"Hey, mga miss. Galingan n'yo mamaya, a? Kailangan tayo ang manalo," Ivan told us.

Camille scoffed. "Ikaw ang dapat mag-focus 'no. Lagi ka kayang distracted."

"E nandyan ka kasi, miss," Ivan finished with a wink, bago kami iniwan para balikan ang mga kaibigan niya, leaving Camille gaping in incredulity.

"Ba't ba ang daming bolero sa team natin?" Camille screamed in frustration.

Binalot ang warm-ups namin ng asaran at biruan hanggang sa tinawag na kami for breakfast. Tapos tinipon na rin kami sa field para sa amazing race instruction na isang staff na ang nagpaliwanag.

Huh. So even Melissa and Christelle didn't know the specifics of the game.

It was a bit awkward, staying with our group. Pagpunta ko kasi sa kanila, agad kong namataan yung kagabi ko pa iniiwasan. Yeah, si Racel. And he was looking at me, too, with that pokerface of his. Schooling my features, I acted as if nothing happened.

Kunwari hindi ko nararamdaman ang mga tingin niya habang nagpapaliwanag ang staff. Just like before. It wasn't that hard, considering all my focus was really in the game. Hindi ko talaga mapigilan ang ma-excite dito sa race.

The staff finished explaining the mechanics. Bawal ang cellphone at kung anu-ano pa sa duration ng game kaya binigyan kami ng five minutes para itago ang mga 'yon. I went back to the cabin to leave mine, and when I came back to the field, nabigla ako sa nadatnan ko.

Racel and Angelo were talking, and from their faces, it didn't look like it was a friendly conversation. As soon as they noticed me approaching, naghiwalay sila at umastang parang wala silang pinag-usapan.

Angelo pulled me over to his side, grinning. "Ready, Jamie V? This will be extra tiring."

Ngumisi ako. "Kahapon pa."

And then the game finally started.

Parang mga bata, kanya-kanya kaming nagsitakbuhan papunta sa mga designated first stops per group. Iba-iba kasi kami ng starting points, to avoid crowding the same stops. But it was still a race, so kung sino ang unang maka-kumpleto ng point tickets ang mananalo.

Our first designation was easy. Minor relays. Child play. And so were the second, third, and fourth. 'Yon nga lang, nakakapagod. 'Cause the areas were too far from one another. Takbo dito, takbo doon. It was really a stamina challenge.

I was still doing okay. Sanay naman kasi ako sa intense physical activities dahil part ako ng dance troupe. But I was getting worried for Camille. Competitive as she was, she's not really suited for these activities. Baka magka-seizure pa siya.

"Kaya pa?" I asked her when we were waiting for the rest to finish the fifth challenge.

She shrugged me off with a smile. "Uminom ako ng gamot. Keri pa."

Christelle piped in, "Tara na. Sa taas daw yung next."

We started scrambling toward the garden stairs. I could hear the loud laughter of Ivan in front, sinasawsawan pa ng ibang mga boys na kagrupo namin. Being the player that he was, Racel was also ahead of us. Damn reflexes.

The challenge upstairs was more challenging. Necking-the-orange, as the facilitator called it. Objective was to pass the orange down to the last member, no hands. We quickly fell in line. Nang mapansin kong nasa harap ko si Racel, agad akong nakipagpalit kay Ivan.

He only gave me a questioning look, na agad din napalitan dahil nagsimula na ang challenge. We finished it without flair, and headed back down for the next challenge.

"Damn! Sino ba nag-isip ng challenges na 'to? Akyat-baba, putcha!" maarteng reklamo ni Ivan.

Angelo sniggered beside him.

A bottle of water suddenly appeared in my line of vision, slowing me down. Paglingon ko, nakita ko si Racel. Iisipin ko pa lang kung kanya ba 'yon nang makita kong may gano'n na rin ang iba kaya kinuha ko na at nagpasalamat na lang.

After finishing the challenge here, tumakbo ulit kami sa next destination na tinuro ng facilitator.

"Nakakapagod! Sheet! Akyat na naman!" sigaw ni Camille habang tumatawa.

Nakasalubong namin ang grupo nina Ahron na paakyat na rin.

Ahron smiled at me. I just nodded, and we both raced to the stairs. However, someone overtook me and absentmindedly knocked me back. I immediately lost my balance, and fell back down, twisting my foot in the wrong angle. Napaupo ako sa sahig.

"Fuck," I spewed out, more from the shock.

Camille rushed to me. "Uy, Javee!"

Sa sobrang bilis ng takbo niya, ni hindi napansin ng nakabunggo sa 'kin ang nangyari. Buti na lang at nauna na ang mga kagrupo ko. Ahron, too. 'Di nila nakita. But others did, and they all stopped to look at me.

Shane also ran over to me. "Uy. Gago 'yon, a. Ayos ka lang?" He helped me up. I winced at sudden shot of pain from my ankle.

Lumapit na rin si Gwen sa 'min. "Dalhin mo na sa clinic si Javee. Mukhang na-sprain niya― "

"No!" I exclaimed, interrupting her.

Shit, ayoko magpunta doon. I wanted to stay here and keep playing. Ayoko rin maistorbo sila.

"Pero, girl . . . "

"I'm okay. Nagulat lang ako. Sige na, mauna na kayo."

"Sure ka?"

"Yeah." I feigned a smirk and even stomped my foot to prove my point when in truth, it hurt like fuck. "Sige kayo. Mananalo pa kami n'yan."

Shane and Gwen exchanged looks and then nodded reluctantly. Slowly, they raced up na rin. Tinawanan ko lang ang worried look ni Camille at inaya na siya pumanik.

It was hell. Utter hell.

Ang sakit ng ankle ko. I didn't know if Camille noticed since I tried to look fine.

Inabutan namin sa bridge walking area ang grupo namin. Dinaluhan nila kaming dalawa at sunod na pinasalang doon. After crossing, we had to rappel to end the challenge.

Pinagpapawisan na ako nang sobra at malamang namumula na rin. The pain was getting worse with each movement.

I caught Racel staring on my way down. Parang may sinasabi siya sa 'kin. His eyes zeroed in on my ankle kaya nagmadali akong lumayo sa kanya.

"Doon daw yung next!" turo ni Christelle.

We hurried over, and once again, nakasabay namin ang grupo nina Ahron.

"Ang bagal mo yata ngayon?" Ahron asked me, running from beside me.

"I'm tired, babe," I lied.

She seemed surprised. "Agad? But you have good stamina."

Kasi nga dancer ako. But my foot was killing me.

"Dancers can get tired din, babe."

"Hey. Bilisan mo at baka matalo tayo," Justin told her from behind, overtaking us easily.

Ahron frowned at him and looked back to me. "I'll see you later." I didn't think she bought what I said, but she let it go nevertheless.

Nearing the end of the race, puro riddles na lang kami at less relays. Kapansin-pansin na siguro talaga ang pagbagal ko dahil maging ang mga kagrupo ko, tinitingnan na ako habang kumikilos kami.

Suddenly, Angelo slowed down so he could keep pace with me. Christelle and Racel were also casting worried looks at me.

"You should rest. You're pale," Angelo told me.

"It's okay. I'm just tired."

"No, no. You look sickly pale."

"Dude, kung 'di mo bibilisan, baka maunahan namin kayo."

That was James. Their group was right behind us. From their faces, mukhang malapit na rin sila matapos.

Angelo ignored them, still watching my face.

I slapped Angelo's shoulder to distract him. "Hurry up. Roadblock ulit yung next. Dali!" He was reluctant but he complied. Buti na lang.

After what felt like eternity, after running back and forth sa grounds, finally nasa last obstacle na kami. Simpleng riddle lang 'yon na agad na nasagot ni Racel.

Nagmadali na kami pabalik sa starting point.

On our way back, hindi pa rin talaga nagpatinag si Angelo. "You sure you're not hurt anywhere? You're kinda limping."

Naputol siya nang biglang huminto si Camille at umupo sa lapag. Instantly, our group stopped running as well.

I walked up to her in worry. Maputla na si Camille at mukhang hihimatayin anytime soon.

"Cams, stop ka na. Baka magka-seizure ka."

The others were astounded at what I said.

"May sakit ka?" Ivan piped in. "Shit, baka kung anong mangyari sa 'yo."

"OA nito," she retorted weakly.

"You guys go ahead. I'll bring her to the nurse," Racel told us.

Christelle nodded. "Sige. Pasanin mo na lang."

Tumingin muna sa 'kin si Racel bago tumango kay Christelle.

Camille protested at first but she eventually agreed.

After carrying her in his arms, Racel then nodded at us. "You guys go first. I'll catch up."

"Sure ka kaya mo? I can carry her, too," Angelo volunteered.

"It's fine."

When we resumed the race, Angelo finally gave in to his worries and pestered me until I agreed to be carried on his back. It took ten minutes to get back to the starting point.

Sad to say, we didn't win. Second place, the winner being Justin's group. As expected.

Racel finally caught up with us after a while. He lifted a brow when he saw me on Angelo's back.

I didn't know what came over to me but I immediately jumped out of Angelo's hold, startling him.

Racel naman frowned and glanced away, walking back to Christelle, who turned to me in return.

Ewan ko kung may alam si Christelle, but the way she looked at me told me something was up.

***

After the race, nagpahinga na kami at kumain ng merienda at lunch. Hindi kasing ingay ng nakaraang araw ang kainan ngayon, mostly because we were all exhausted beyond our limit. But it was fun. Kahit na namimilipit ako sa sakit, nag-enjoy pa rin naman ako.

Kasalukuyang namimigay ng mga prutas sina Sheena nang magkantyawan na naman ang mga boys.

I picked up the orange from the tray. The others grabbed their picks na rin.

"You like apples, dude?" simula ni Angelo. His eyes were pointed at Racel.

Akala ko mang-aasar na naman siya katulad ng lagi niyang ginagawa kaya nagtaka ako when I realized he was serious. In fact, vacant ang expression niya. Unreadable.

Racel's jaw clenched.

"Why do you care naman if he does?" singit ko, interrupting the tension.

"Wala naman. I'm just asking. Aren't apples associated with the forbidden fruit?" tanong niya ulit, confusing all of us.

"Kina Adam and Eve. Why?" Natigilan ako nang makitang hindi siya sa 'kin nakatingin kundi kay Racel na naman.

"Wala lang ulit. Just asking. Coz that fucking fruit resulted to chaos."

"'Di naman mansanas 'yon. Bakit ba? 'Di ka ba mahilig sa mansanas?" tanong ni Ivan sa kanya.

"Oh, I am." Lumingon ulit siya kay Racel. "But I know which ones to avoid. Dahan-dahan ka sa mansanas, dude. Baka mapano ka. Friendly advice."

"Tangina mo, Geon," Ivan said. "Kung anu-ano pa sinasabi mo. Baka 'yan lang talaga ang gusto ng tao."

"I dunno, man. Do apples fill ba? I don't think you should use it to satiate your hunger e."

I looked at him weirdly. We all did. He wasn't making any sense.

He raised his hands in surrender, stealing a meaningful glance at Racel before leaving us para sumabay sa mga tropa niya.

I darted a glance at Racel, yung mabilis lang.

His lips was set in a firm line, parang nakasimangot, the apple untouched in his hand.

What was that all about? Nag-away ba sila at parang may dead air between them? Usually naman, bibiruin lang siya ni Angelo. But right now, something was different. Angelo wasn't kidding.

"Anong nakain no'n?" dinig kong tanong ni Ivan sa 'min. "Ang init yata ng dugo no'n sa mansanas?"

"It's Geon, pare. Kailan ba hindi naging magulo 'yon?" sagot naman ng isa naming kagrupo.

Christelle cut her eyes between me and Racel and then to where Angelo took off. "Hayaan n'yo na 'yon," she said. "Guys will be guys."

Gano'n na nga lang. Wala na rin kaming energy para pag-isipan pa kung anong nangyari. We were just glad the race was over, and we placed second.

And now, finally, we were done. After some last brief talk from the speaker, the Youth Camp was officially over. We were free to do what we wanted for the rest of the day but I heard may jamming ulit mamayang gabi. BBQ party.

Matapos naming kumain, nagpaalam na muna ako sa kanila at bumalik sa cabin para maligo. When I saw it was occupied, lumipat ako sa public bathroom and saw Christelle and the other girls there. Like me, they wanted to freshen up.

Pumunta muna ako sa sink, sa tabi ni Christelle, habang naghihintay ng empty cubicle.

"You three are funny," she started. "Kayo ni Castillo. At si Racel."

"How so?" tanong ko. "Nakaka-frustrate nga."

"Sino?"

"Both?"

She laughed lightly. "Yeah, true. Anyway, can I ask a personal question?"

I scrutinized her expression, contemplating whether she knew something or not. From how she stared at me, with that knowing glint in her eyes, I'd say she did.

Sinabi kaya sa kanya ni Racel?

"Shoot," I said, pretending to be nonchalant.

"How are you doing with Racel?"

I blinked at her. How straight to the point.

Nagkibit-balikat lang ako. Alam ko naman na hindi talaga siya nag-aabang ng sagot. More like, she was just confirming what she already knew.

"Not good?" she said, thinning her lips. She looked back at the mirror. "Well I guess I understand. Lalo na at kapatid mo si Jacob. Pero let me tell you this. Sa tagal ng pagkakakilala ko d'yan kay Racel, alam kong mabait 'yan lalo na sa mga babae. Kahit na masungit. At gaganyan-ganyan lang yan, 'di yan mababaw na tao. Alam ko nabalitaan mo yung away nila ng kuya mo."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Do you know what happened?"

She shook her head. "No, not really. Pero alam kong siya ang naunang sumuntok. Thing is, your brother provoked Racel. I don't know what Jacob said but it riled him up. And only a few things can do that. Ewan ko ba d'yan sa kapatid mo. He has a talent for getting under people's skin."

Oo nga. Gano'n nga si Kuya.

I processed the information she was telling me. Basically, kinumpirma lang no'n ang suspicion ko na may ginawa nga si Kuya.

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered.

Christelle thought about it and shrugged. "I dunno? Okay, no. Maybe because I can see his effort, which is in itself rare. Don't give the guy a hard time, Javee. Bihira lang mamansin ng babae 'yang si Racel but when you get to know him, you'll find that he's a real gentleman. He's really sweet and thoughtful. Always considerate of other people's feelings. Katulad ngayon, with you. I can tell na concerned siya sa issue between the two of you right now kahit mukhang hindi. Which is ridiculous kasi kakakilala n'yo lang but then it really goes to show how sensible he truly is."

I took a deep breath, controlling my emotions. I noticed that. What she was saying, napansin ko na lahat 'yon. But that wasn't what my brothers said. They warned me pa nga.

"I just don't like it," I admitted helplessly. "Na pagkatapos namin magsama for this event, mababalitaan ko lang na sinuntok niya ang kapatid ko behind my back. It feels weird. And wrong."

"Yeah, I get you. He probably knows that as well. I'm not asking you to hear him out. I just want you to know what really happened."

"Thank you," I heard myself say.

"And, by the way. 'Di ko alam kung ano ba ang real deal between you two but whatever it is, it got him distracted. Ikaw din. I know it won't matter na coz youth camp is almost over pero I feel like you need to do something." Tumawa siya at saka pumasok na sa vacant na cubicle.

She left me in a daze. Hindi naman ako indecisive na tao pero dahil sa mga sinabi ni Christelle, sinimulan kong tanungin ulit ang sarili ko kung tama nga ba ang ginawa ko.

Was I being unfair to him?

Pero para sa 'ming dalawa naman ang ginawa ko, di ba? It was a win-win situation.

Pagkatapos kong maligo, dali-dali na rin akong pumasok sa cabin at nagpahinga. Tapos nang mag-ayos doon sina Bea at nakatambay na sila sa labas. Si Ahron naman, may kausap sa phone.

"Pano pala tayo pauwi bukas? Bus ulit?" Bea asked.

"They'll pick us up pero yung mga gustong magpasundo, pwede na," sagot ni Ahron. Tapos na yata siyang makipag-usap sa phone. Through the open door, sinilip niya ako. "Jacob texted me. Susunduin ka raw niya."

Halos mapabalikwas ako sa sinabi niya. "Did you give the address?"

She smiled, narrowing her eyes. "I'm not stupid. Syempre hindi. Sabi ko sa ibang lugar na lang kayo magkita."

Phew. Buti na lang.

"I'll text him."

Tumango lang siya. As for me, I allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

***

Nang magising ako, nag-aayos na ang iba para sa barbecue party. Nabawasan na ang pamamaga ng paa ko kaya hindi na ako gano'n kahirap kumilos at maglakad.

Dahil busy ang lahat (mostly the council members), I decided to help around with the food. Mag-aabot lang naman ng utensils and drinks habang nakalinya sila.

"Hey, tulong ako," Shane told me.

"Sure," sabi ko with a smile.

I didn't think ako talaga ang gusto niyang tulungan. Nag-iipon lang yata ng points 'to para kay Ahron. My bestfriend, sad to say, wasn't paying attention dahil busy siya sa pag-iihaw.

It didn't take a while bago binalot ng tugtugan at tawanan ang buong lugar. There was a big bonfire in the middle habang nagmu-music jamming ang iba. Some were even playing around.

After the ruckus earlier, Angelo came up to me and apologized. Dinaan niya 'yon in his usual humorous apology. I didn't turn it into a big deal dahil hindi naman ako ang involved. Kung ano man ang meron sa kanila ni Racel, kanila na 'yon. Ayoko nang dagdagan pa ang mga inaalala ko.

After the preparation, I sat on a log. Nang marinig kong papalapit ang mga students galing sa Centrex, thinking na kasama nila si Racel, lumayo ako at naghanap ng mas malayong log na mauupuan. The farthest from the crowd.

Habang lumalalim ang gabi, mas lalong umiingay ang tawanan ng mga tao. Libang na libang ako nang napakanta ng mga nagkakagulong babae 'tong si Justin sa gitna. Mas namangha pa ako dahil maganda pala ang boses niya. I didn't expect that.

I almost jumped up when someone suddenly sat beside me.

Paglingon ko, halos tumalon palabas ang puso ko.

Racel ignored my reaction and handed me an ice pack.

"What's that?" gulat at nagtatakang tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot. Kinuha niya lang pabalik yung icepack at lumuhod sa harap ko. He removed the sneaker off my foot.

My heart was pounding loud in my ears.

Anong ginagawa niya?

I hastily swept my gaze around to check if anyone was looking. But fortunately, the students were too busy doing their own thing.

Hinawakan bigla ni Racel ang ankle ko. I yelped at the shot of searing pain kaya napalingon ako pabalik sa kanya.

Our eyes met then. Napalunok ako.

Through his long lashes, he looked up at me deeply. Something inside me fluttered, and I held my breath.

"You sprained it," he told me. "Badly, too. How did it happen?"

I swallowed and looked away. Damn it. Bakit hindi ako makatingin nang diretso sa kanya? I really needed to keep my shit together.

I pulled my foot away but he kept it in place. I sighed, realizing it was no use. Alam na niya. No point in hiding it. At mukhang wala siyang balak na umalis.

"I fell," pag-amin ko. "Sa hagdan kakamadali." Hindi ko na binanggit yung nakasagi sa 'kin. "What gave me away?"

"It was easy to tell."

"How?"

"I've had sprains before."

Ah, that's right. Basketball player nga pala siya.

"Then good thing you didn't stop me kanina."

"I wanted to. But then I saw you were enduring it. You didn't want anyone to know," he said in a deep baritone and continued, "You got me worried as fuck."

It took all my will power not to shiver at his captivating stare. Para akong nilalamon nang buo ng mga tingin niya. I bit my lip. For some reasons, hindi na ako makalingon sa iba. I felt as if I was in a spell, caught in a daze.

I cleared my throat. "Anyway, I'm okay na. Tumayo ka na d'yan, people might notice us."

Hindi siya umimik. Instead, he focused on my ankle and held it gently. He pulled down the sock I was wearing. Saka in-apply nang dahan-dahan ang ice pack.

Heat crept back to my face.

Why was he doing this? 'Di ko talaga alam.

Silence continued between us habang ginagawa niya 'yon. Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas na gano'n lang ang posisyon namin hanggang sa tinanggal na niya ang pack at sinimulang i-bandage ang ankle ko.

"I meant it," tahimik niyang sinabi, muntik ko pa siyang 'di marinig. "I really am sorry."

I hesitated, my heart thumping loudly in my ears. Heto na. We were having this conversation again, the very conversation I tried so hard to ignore and forget.

"What are you sorry for? Why are you doing this?" I couldn't help but ask. "You can just let it go. We're not even friends, so why are you making an effort to apologize to me?"

Dahil ba tama si Christelle? Dahil mabait lang talaga siya?

Racel paused for a second. "To be honest, I don't know. I just felt like I owe it to you."

Hindi ako makakilos. Masyado siyang malapit sa 'kin, to the point na ramdam na ramdam ko siya.

So I had no choice but to just let him do what he was doing. Pinanood ko lang siya habang ginagawa niya 'yon and I couldn't help but notice his features ngayong sobrang lapit niya sa 'kin. I couldn't even look away.

Now that I had him alone, I could ask na about what happened with Kuya Jacob. I could ease down the questions in my head.

But should I even ask? Was it even polite to do so?

I bit my lip again, sighed, and looked heavenward. The stars were not visible. Maulap. Mukhang uulan mamaya.

"Why don't you ask?" biglang tanong niya in quiet, deep tones, surprising me. "Go ahead. Ask me why I did it."

Seriously? Gano'n na ba ako ka-transparent para malaman niya ang gumugulo sa 'kin?

"It's none of my business," sagot ko.

Suddenly, he slid his gaze back up to me. The wind blew then, ruffling his hair and casting shadows from the bonfire across his face. I froze, my breath hitching. Shit.

A few seconds passed bago siya nagsalita ulit. It was faint, but I heard everything like a clear bell.

"You really are his sister. You're danger," he muttered under his breath, "you know that?"

What was that supposed to mean?

Bigla siyang tumayo. He handed me a pain reliever pill and said, "Be careful next time, alright?" and then he made a turn to leave.

"Wait. Your pack!"

"Keep it. As a remembrance." And then . . . he smiled at me, his signature sexy smile, briefly, before setting off.

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko at natigilan ako. Parang may nagkakarerang kung ano dito sa loob ko na ayaw matigil kahit anong gawin ko.

Badtrip. Alam ko kung ano 'yon pero 'di pwede.

Racel was wrong. Siya 'tong danger. Paulit-ulit kong sinabi sa sarili ko that I should avoid him.

Pero bakit gano'n?

Sa simpleng bagay na ginawa niya, parang nakalimot na naman ako. Lagi na lang. Lagi na lang niyang pinatutunayan na mali ang akala ko. I knew he wasn't the arrogant ass my brothers made him out to be. And I hated that. Hated that they were wrong. Hated that I could be wrong.

Kahit saan anggulo ko tingnan, wala akong makitang mali sa kanya. Even Christelle attested. The boys were wrong. My impression of him was unjustified.

But it wouldn't matter now. After this, wala naman na kaming reason para magkita. I wouldn't see him again and everything would be back to normal.

I should be relieved at the realization. So why did I feel so disappointed now?