The first door I try is a bathroom thankfully, and no sooner do I get the door closed than do I drop to my knees and completely empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. Just the thought of throwing up into a toilet has always made me sick, but this one is so clean I'd believe it was fresh from the store without a single use. Thank God for that, or I may never be able to stop.

I pull myself to my feet shakily to close the toilet and flush. My knees begin to give out and I quickly turn around to sit on the closed toilet, breathing deeply to try to return to normal fast.

The worst is over, right? Jazmin is here, and she now knows what everyone else in the room already knows: I slept with Xavi. There's nothing else I was scared of that I haven't already faced, so from here on out, I'm okay. I know I'll be okay.

I exhale heavily one more time and stand, now perfectly steady again. After quickly freshening up, I head back to the kitchen with some faux confidence to keep my head up, and I can already smell the tacos. They smell incredible, but my stomach is still too woozy for it to be appetizing.

Chris is missing and Xavi is in his seat now directly across from me, with Jazmin to his right. His mischievous grin as he watches me return to my spot tells me he's not done tormenting me. I guess I deserve that. I never should have slept with him in the first place.

"Welcome back!" Kyle chirps obliviously.

Jazmin notices Xavi's gaze and elbows him hard. "You're creeping her out, dude!"

"Shut up, Jaz," he dismisses her with an eye roll. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know she obviously regrets being with you," she snickers.

"No she doesn't," he fires back, growing irritated.

"Yes she does," she insists, laughing harder.

"That's not really for anyone else to decide," Mariluz interjects firmly, smiling after to lessen the intensity.

Xavi purses his lips and nods, turning to me. "Okay. Lola?"

Mariluz grimaces, apparently not realizing he'd expect an answer right away. The way the siblings have been bickering, I have a feeling letting him down with some sarcasm might go over well. My faux confidence hasn't dipped any yet, so I'm willing to try.

I purse my lips and look down. "Well, Jazmin is making a lot of sense to me."

She bursts into hearty laughter and Xavi sits back in disbelief.

"You're screwing with me," he refuses.

I glance up at the sound of Jazmin's beautiful laughter and it's enough to make me say absolutely anything to get Xavi out of our way. My lips turn up into a smirk and I meet his bewildered gaze.

"Come on, Xavi, this was three weeks ago and you never called," I tell him, a tad condescending. "Why wouldn't I regret it?"

Jazmin inhales sharply like in pain. "Ooh, too bad, bro. Maybe next time you can try being less of a fuckboy."

"That's—no, hang on," he stammers quickly, looking between us. "I never got your number because... I forgot to ask. I'm sorry. That's my bad," he insists apologetically.

Jazmin cups her hands together and boos at Xavi, and he swats at her to drop her hands while she crumbles into laughter again. He turns back to me and pulls out his phone, quickly unlocking it and extending it toward me.

"Can I get another chance?"

I look at it for a moment with pursed lips, knowing that turning him down again will delight Jazmin and I simply can't resist. "I think once chance is enough, actually."

His shoulders drop and his eyes widen in utter disbelief. I get the sense that he's never been turned down before, and it's understandable. He is an attractive man, but that's never going to be enough for a lesbian.

Jazmin inhales deeply and wafts her hands in front of her face like taking in a scent, then whistles. "Is that the tacos or Xavi getting cooked over here?"

At that, even Mariluz and Kyle snicker. Xavi rolls his eyes and stuffs his phone back in his pocket, more annoyed with Jazmin's laughter and teasing than hurt by my rejection. I laugh quietly too, watching my coffee as I stir it with some relief.

I hear footsteps and voices approaching the kitchen and look up just as Mía walks in, wearing an oversized Unsent Souls sweatshirt and a beanie just like what her dad usually wears. She freezes when she sees Xavi and narrows her eyes.

"Did you bring the chips I asked for?" she demands.

"Oops, I forgot," Xavi answers nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Dad, can you kick out Xavi?"

"No, Mía," Chris says absently he comes in, carrying a toddler on his hip.

The two stick their tongues out at each other and continue bickering while Chris heads over to the breakfast nook and pulls two high chairs to the table. A girl walks in behind him with another toddler on her hip, and I can safely assume that's Ximena. She has the same pale green eyes as Xavi, but her curly dark hair is much longer, falling past her shoulders.

The boys are facing away from us pretty much the whole time as they get situated into their chairs, so I never really get a good look at them. What I can see is that they're pretty much the same size and they've both got dark hair, although it's only curly on one of them. They babble and talk to each other, but I can't hear them well from our distance with all the other chatter. I wonder absently if they each have a different father.

Xavi stands to help Rigo pass out the food as he plates it, then Chris, Rigo and the kids sit at the table while Ximena joins us at the island. She's sweet, and her smile is warm. She joins in teasing Xavi with Jazmin a little bit, but she's gentle about it, and it's easy to see the strong connection the twins have when their eyes meet. I can't help but envy this family dynamic a little.

My own family doesn't so much as hug or exchange "I love you's," we've always been emotionally closed off to each other. It got worse when I came out as a lesbian; they practically ignored my existence.

When I went away to college, though, my mom started to reach out more. She was like the pleasant version of my mother that I never knew growing up, and she always said "I love you" at the end of each call. It stung every time like a jab straight to the heart, because it was eighteen years too late. Every time I ran crying to her as a child just to be pushed away in disgust, that was the mother I wanted. I wanted someone who sounded like she genuinely cared, even if it was just a guilt-driven facade to ensure she got into Heaven. All I needed was someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but she never did.

I'm pulled out of my dark thoughts when Kyle says something to me, apparently having joined in on teasing Xavi while I was spaced out. Lunch continues like that well past when we'd typically finish lunch at the office, but Chris and Rigo are our bosses for now and they're still enjoying their break with their kids, so our break keeps going too.

We finally head back to the sitting room to continue working around at around 1:45, giving us nearly double the lunch break that we're usually allotted. I don't have a single complaint about it, because with my queasy stomach, it takes just about that entire time to eat a sufficient enough amount of my tacos to say that I'm done.

When we head home, Mariluz and I take a moment for that screaming fit in the car as planned, but it isn't nearly enough. We go back to my apartment together to keep on losing our minds about everything we learned and our lunch with Xavi, Ximena, and Jazmin. Kyle turns on Love Island again and we squeeze onto the couch for our debrief, squealing and laughing in between almost every other word until around six-thirty, when Mariluz mentions that she's hungry.

"I'm honestly good, guys," I inform them as I relax back on the couch with a heavy sigh. "Just order for the two of you."

"What? You barely finished half of your lunch and that was hours ago," Kyle opposes skeptically.

I sigh heavily, already feeling the redness in my cheeks. "Kyle, you know I've had a drinking problem. I haven't been able to stop."

"I can sympathize with that, girl, believe me," he appeals earnestly. "But you know you should have at least taken a break for this. It's important."

"I did," I retaliate defensively. "I haven't had anything to drink for the last three days and I still feel so sick," I whine dramatically.

Mariluz and Kyle are quiet for a moment, first looking at me then at each other. After a moment of what appears to be a full-on conversation with their eyes, they both turn back to me with a newfound intensity.

"He wore a condom, right?" Kyle asks suddenly. I stare at him without reacting for a moment, and he continues somewhat desperately. "Like, when you and Xavi had sex, he wore a condom, right? Like, every time in the multiple times that he says you guys had sex?"

I keep on staring at him unresponsively, thinking hard but for the life of me, unable to remember the details of every single time we had sex. I can remember one time though, the first time. While he didn't wear a condom, he pulled out. Truthfully, that part was something I'd forgotten about in all my determination to have sex with a man. Closing my eyes to enjoy it was all fine and dandy until he made a sound, and he made a lot of noise when he yanked my dress up in the backseat of the car for his climax. I'm sure he did the same every other time, too.

"He pulled out," I blurt out as soon as I'm sure of it. "I was super drunk so I can't remember every time, but that's what he did the first time."

Kyle looks back at Mariluz in a mix of horror and disbelief before looking back at me.

Mariluz jumps in. "Did you have your period?"

Right, my period. Now I'm truly relieved.

"Yes," I tell her confidently. "It was even longer than normal thanks to all the drinking I've done lately. Just ended a couple days ago."

She purses her lips with uncertainty. "I still think you should take a pregnancy test."

A lump forms in my throat and I shake my head decidedly. "I don't need to, Mariluz. I know I'm not pregnant."

"Lola, the way you've been sick, you might be," she insists gently.

I can't accept that, and I shake my head firmly. "I'm not pregnant, and I will take a test just to prove it to you."

Kyle pulls his phone out of his pocket instantly and goes to a delivery app. "I'll order it right now."

He navigates to the health items, and then to the pregnancy tests. There are a lot of options, all in different price ranges and promising varying levels of accuracy depending on how far along you are. I don't know the first thing about pregnancy, so I don't know which one is best.

"Get one of each," I order Kyle.

"I was planning on it," he chuckles as he starts hitting plus signs and scrolling.

After he checks out, the nail-biting wait for delivery begins. This is the longest part. I mean, I still have to take the tests and wait for the results, but that's mere minutes compared to the half hour we have to wait just to have them in our hands. It's almost unbearable, and I pace around in front of my door impatiently until the app says our driver is on the way.

At that point, I bolt down the stairs with Kyle and Mariluz trailing after me in their ongoing concern that my impulsiveness will get me killed. I pace in front of the main entrance on the ground level while they sit on the bench to wait, looking out the window every time I pass it to see if our driver has arrived yet.

She finally does, and I thank her profusely as I take the bag from her. Kyle hit the button for the elevator the moment she arrived, and it's already waiting for us when I turn around. God, I love him. He knows me so well.

When we get upstairs, I dump the bag out onto the counter and we start wildly ripping boxes open to pull out the instruction inserts. I can't comprehend anything I'm reading, but this isn't rocket science. I just have to pee on the stick. Only... there are a lot of sticks and they're not all sticks.

"I don't have enough pee for all of this," I say incredulously as I look at the number of tests we bought. Fifteen.

"You can pee in a cup and we can use that for all of the tests," Kyle says as his eyes bounce between the inserts for two different tests. "Just hold the stick ones in it for a few seconds, and the other ones have droppers to use."

Mariluz lowers the insert she's holding and meets my gaze sympathetically. "Have any cups you don't mind peeing in?"

I grab the one I've been using for my liquor and head to the bathroom. During the wait for our driver, I chugged a sports drink, so I don't have any difficulty filling the cup despite my nerves. I clean it up after and wash my hands, then carefully bring it out with me. Kyle grabs a bunch of paper towels and places them on the kitchen counter, and I put the cup on it.

We get to work right away on starting the tests, not worrying about timers until they're all completed. We don't even look at them, just apply the sample as directed and set them aside to be read afterward. Once we're done starting all of the tests, Kyle sets his timer and I begin pacing.

When his timer finally rings, all three of us eagerly hover around the tests and take in the results. There's perfect silence for what feels like an hour. I can't process what I'm looking at for far too long, but I finally do.

They're positive. All of them. Every single one. There's not a single doubt about it. I'm pregnant.

"Lola," Mariluz breathes.

"I can't have a baby," I say in disbelief, still staring at the tests. "I can't have a baby."

"Girl, you're having a baby," Kyle counters gently. "It's early though, you really don't have to worry about anything right now," he reassures me. "Just stop drinking, that's all you need to do."

I shake my head, eyes still on the tests. "I can't have baby, Kyle."

"It's a little late for that."

Finally, I manage to peel my eyes away from the tests and turn a harsh scowl on him. "I didn't have loving parents, Kyle. I can't have a baby."

"Who needs loving parents when you have best friends like us," he scoffs. "We're gonna be here with you every step of the way, girl. Not to mention, you kind of hit the lotto in terms of baby daddies, you know what I mean?" he says lightly with a smirk.

The gravity of this can't be lessened with humor for me. "I am a lesbian and I have no feelings for Xavi. Please explain to me what part of that sounds like a lotto win?" I retort wryly.

He's unmoved by my seriousness. "The part where your baby's last name will be Reyes, and therefore you'll both be taken care of forever."

His flippancy with with all this is weighing on my nerves, and it feels time to correct the path of his thoughts. "My baby won't have a last name because I'm not going to have a baby. I'm having an abortion."

Mariluz inhales sharply and steps in. "Lola, please talk to Xavi about this. He has the right to know, and you will feel better once you know he's on board, too," she insists.

"What makes you think he'll be on board?" I spit venomously. I feel a little bad for taking it out on her, but I can't hold back my anger right now.

"He's Catholic, just like me," she assures me, not wounded by my bitterness. "He'll want this baby. Trust me, he will."

Despite everything I've been saying and feeling, I want this baby too. I don't know why, but something about it feels... hopeful. As if this is a chance to start something new and have that family I always dreamed of, even if it's with Xavi instead of Jazmin. It's still better than anything I've imagined for my future, that's for sure. I'm unsure, but maybe something good can come of it.

"Fine," I relent. "I'll talk to him tomorrow if he's at their house again."

"He will be," Kyle confirms. "He's in Tijuana on the weekends and LA during the week."

I look at him and sigh. "Thanks, Ky."

He grins and pats my shoulder gently. "You're gonna have an adorable little baby," he squeaks out excitedly.

I nod, wishing I could feel the way he does. "Can't wait."