The city of Hinotori has been uncharacteristically sweltering for the past couple of weeks. Helping his parents take care of yellow gerbera daisies on another one of those godforsaken hot days, Kenta could not help but wonder if the flowers could survive until the arrival of the predicted rain at the end of the month. Gerbera daisies do like a lot of sunlight, but, just like experienced gardeners know well, too much of a good thing is never a good thing at all. 

***

"Taking care of flowers is like taking care of children, in a way," his mother Shiori has always said whenever a plant died, "because there's always this fear in the back of your mind that you'll mess up and your children will blame you for it. You can shield children from the cruelty of the world all you want, but eventually, they'll find out the world's not perfect." 

"I don't like it when you talk of the world like this," Kenta would reply, "because it makes me wonder if you think I am just one of your flowers--helpless and yet feel entitled to point a finger at the one who takes care of them should things go wrong." 

Shiori would simply give her son an enigmatic smile before answering. 

"You're not helpless. I've raised you to be a strong person, just like your name. Strong as you are, however, you have limits just like flowers have different tolerance for heat and cold. The world, just like a garden, will not always be to your liking. When that happens, do you know what the surviving flowers do?" 

"They work harder?" the boy would ask back while gently fingering the dried petals of a dying flower before tossing them to the compost bin. "The flowers that survive, don't they grow more roots and try their hardest to penetrate the deepest layer of soil in search of water?" 

"They certainly do," Shiori would nod encouragingly, "but they have another trick up their sleeves. Or should I say up their stems? They store extra water in their stems for an emergency." 

"What does this have to do with raising children? Or with how cruel the world could be?" 

"Parents can't teach their children everything," Shiori would sigh, "and I can't teach you everything I wish I could, Kenta. A gardener can give their flowers the very best fertilizer and the most mineral-rich spring water, but eventually, the flowers must learn on their own how to preserve the water as needed. Nobody's teaching a flower how to do that." 

"You are afraid that I won't learn in time how to be an adult." 

"No, I'm more afraid that I'm coddling you. I'm afraid that I've always seen you as a child rather than a growing teenager negotiating the space between what's familiar and what's new. Tell me, Kenta, have I been keeping you from adventures and giving you too much attention just like an overeager gardener keeps their flowers in the shade and overwatering them to death?" 

"Oka-san, I'm very happy that you care this much about raising me right, but this extended flower-themed simile has run its course, don't you think? I'm a human, not a flower."

"Points taken. Still, though. Do you ever want me to keep my distance?" 

"If I want you to do that, you would know, Oka-san. You would know because I've never been able to hide anything from you and I'm glad that nothing is hidden from you so far because, believe it or not, it feels reassuring to know that I can go to you and Otou-san for anything." 

"But you still want me to respect your need to be alone from time to time, correct?" 

"Of course. Regardless, it's nice to know that you're there. Oka-san, I get what you're saying about gardeners not always being able to protect their flowers. It's alright, I promise. I told you that I'm a person and not a flower needing constant protection. I will learn how to be my own protector until the day comes when I will have someone else protecting me again." 

***

The sound of footsteps crushing crunchy leaves brought Kenta's attention back to his duty of watering the yellow gerbera. His cousin was standing next to him and his parents, carrying a cooler bag full of canned limeade and orangeade. Kenta gave her an appreciative smile.

"Hey, Akira, thanks for bringing the drinks over. You're taking a break from studying with Aiden and Ezekiel, I suppose? How did it work, by the way, solving mathematics equations over the phone? Did the guys set a timer and you gotta solve the equations quickly or what?" 

"Ha, it wasn't as smooth as you thought!" Akira groaned as she sat herself down on the garden bench and popped open a can of orangeade. She took a long sip before sighing. "Aiden wanted to memorize formulas because he was convinced that rote memorization is his only tool in getting those mathematic problems correct. Ezie told him that he was wrong for thinking that way because formulas can't help us if we don't understand what the problems are asking of us. I tried to get the brothers to just shut up and focus on the drill, but they kept on debating." 

"Sounds like the guys are more suited to join a debate club than to become your study buddies!" Kenta chuckled. "Are you sure you still want to try competing at the Mathematics Olympiad?" 

"That's my only ticket to winning a scholarship to Blue Orchid Xenobiology. Remember, Kenta, I'm not as endowed in the nerd genetics as you are. I don't have an impressive portfolio of researching poisonous berries for years, nor do I have the brain for understanding the arrays of variables that make one type of fertilizer deadly for certain berries but beneficial for others. The only thing I've got going for me is my penchant for crunching numbers and telling stories through data. You're the botanist and I'm the statistician. My strength in statistics is the only thing I can impress the admission counselor with, unfortunately." 

"You're undervaluing yourself, girl!" Kenta's father chimed in from behind a huge pile of decomposing grass clippings. "A botanist and a statistician are both equally important. Just ask Shiori here if you don't believe me. Where would botany as a field of study be without a statistician to record the statistics about, say, the number of daisies that can be grown in a period of prolonged drought before it becomes unprofitable to grow daisies? Statistics are great for business. We can't operate a flower shop without keeping numbers in mind, can we?" 

"Respectfully, Uncle Aikawa, I think you're thinking of a bookkeeper or an accountant or an economist. But thanks for your support. It's just that I'm frustrated about my lack of skills in areas other than mathematics. I feel that my options are limited if you get my drift." 

"It seems to me you're not that different from Aiden," Aikawa shrugged, "because you're attempting to apply a formula to your life when life does not have a foolproof formula to go by." 

"If life doesn't have a formula, then what's the use of planning for the future?" Akira retorted. "What's the use of making roadmaps and charting five-year, ten-year, whatever plans, if life is just a series of random events? You sound like you've been reading deterministic philosophy." 

"Roadmaps can be useful as a guide," Aikawa countered, "but you need to allow for some flexibility. Otherwise, when life confuses you with its twists and turns, you'll get nowhere."

Akira did not reply and instead cracked open another cold can of orangeade. Kenta, however, has been listening intently and was waiting for his chance to say something to his dad. 

"Otou-san, do you think you've been living your life the way Kami-sama wants you to?"

"What Kami-sama wants out of humans and other creations is for them to be happy," Aikawa responded, "and I'm happy living the life of an ordinary man. What about you? Are you happy living your life the way you do right now? How are things at school and with Johan?" 

"I'm not sure if it's okay for me to insert myself into Johan's life at this moment," Kenta said quietly while staring at the ground, "or if it's okay for him to keep calling me nightly. I feel that I'm just distracting him from unresolved things in his family's life. He's got a lot on his plate, you know. His parents fight like there's no tomorrow, his siblings don't really want him to go to college because then they'll be lonely, and then there's this fact that he's trying to turn himself straight. Not that I think a gay person could turn straight like we turn the light on and off." 

"Poor Johan," Aikawa exhaled, "but maybe that's more reason for you to stick around." 

"What for? It's not like I can magically prevent the daily fights his parents have, or convince the twins that Johan going to college is for his own sanity, or knock some sense into Johan that no amount of deceiving himself can ever make him like girls the way he likes guys." 

"Perhaps your presence is what Johan needs to help him gain some clarity," Shiori interjected, "and perhaps having you in his life is what has kept him calm amidst the chaos. He loves you, doesn't he, and you love him back? He just needs to be brave enough to choose to be with you."

"And what if he will never be that brave? What if he would rather stay safe? I bet he would ask Bethany out any day now. They've been hanging out more often. Johan said that Bethany pays him to be a coach because she sucks at sciences and information technology, plus Bethany's little brother Tony has been keeping Nardhia and Nardho company, but I'm worried Johan is only using this girl as an easy way to keep up the appearance that he is not gay. I get it, but I--" 

"But you're hurt," Akira broke her silence and gave him a sympathetic look, "you're hurt because you wish you could trade places with Bethany. You wish you were the one he coaches." 

"Yes, I'm hurt," Kenta finally admitted. "I'm hurt that he doesn't realize he's hurting me." 

"But you're not mad at him. You let him hurt you because you're waiting for something to change and you're waiting for something to change because you're a believer." 

"What if I want to stop believing, Akira?" Kenta asked through quivering lips. "What then?" 

"You and I, we're stuck on answers we can't find, cousin." 

"I want something to believe in," Kenta sniffled, "because if I've got nothing to believe in, I'd go back to being that pathetic kid swallowing a bunch of poisonous berries, begging for oblivion." 

"I wouldn't pretend I have a solution for your heartache," Aikawa squeezed his son's hand tightly before glancing at his wife, "but your mom and I have thought that there's a way you can wait on Johan to change without letting all this waiting consume you inside." 

"What is it? Just focus on doing great academically?" 

"I was about to say you should focus on cultivating your other friendships. Johan is a special person, yes, but he's not the only relationship worth maintaining. What about Kaoru and Baz?" 

"I haven't seen them in person lately," Kenta inhaled, "and you're right that I should check on them. I should ask Baz if he's been composing any new songs on his organ or maybe ask if his cat Sebby would like another play date with our Miyuki. As for Kaoru, I wonder if they have been testing out new vegan recipes. Maybe they and I can collaborate on something fun." 

"Let's call Baz and Kaoru after dinner!" Akira jumped out of the bench. "We should invite them for a sleepover. I downloaded a new video game yesterday called Cups of Tea and it has a pretty wacky premise. It's fantasy but set in alternative 21st-century Philadelphia, out of all possible settings. You play as an owner of a tea house serving a diverse community of elves, orcs, Dragonborn, and more. I don't know if it's something Baz and Kaoru would enjoy, but we will see. I mean, the game got rave reviews from critics and gamers alike, so I have high hopes." 

"Well, knowing Kaoru, if there are any horse-like species in the game he'd be hooked for sure." 

"Do unicorns and centaurs count?" Akira chuckled. "There could be other horse-inspired creatures but I haven't gotten past the prologue of the game so I'll be on the lookout." 

"Cool. Do you think we should invite Ezekiel and Aiden to our game night too?" 

Akira's expression changed in a flash as a hint of sadness glistened in her eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Kenta tilted his head. "Are you and Ezekiel not on good terms right now? But you said you guys were just finished studying together. Did I miss something?" 

"Ezie and I... Ezie and I broke up. Maybe for the best. I sure hope it's for the best but I've been second-guessing myself. It's something to do with something my mom said after the prom night. She was asking if I were committed to him and him to me and Ezie's answer was... concerning." 

"Oh. What did Aunt Chiharu say? Does she not like Ezekiel as much as Uncle Lee does? Is it something you're ready to discuss with me or do I need to give you more time?" 

"I can tell you the details. Let's go back to the house first."