Title: The Web That Once Was Reality

Author: Nikc P.C. ( SpartanCatlord )

Genre: Dark Fantasy, High Fantasy, Urban Fantasy, Adventure, Romance

Chapters Reviewed: Prologue - Chapter 3

𝖗 𝖊 𝖛 𝖎 𝖊 𝖜 𝖊 𝖗 : thecloudedpages

Blurb Below:

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I. Title: The Web That Was Once Reality

A long title but very unique. This sort of gives me non-fiction vibes that speak on human connections. Seeing that this is a Dark Fantasy story, I can't wait to see how the title will play out within the storyline and if I can notice any links.

Edit: So, coming back to this after I finished the diagnostic, I kind of see how the title works with the story, but at the same time I don't. The "web" part I can see with the cross-dimension aspect, but the "the web that was once reality" is a little hard to picture with the story.

II. Cover

I will be blunt and honest, I am not a huge fan of this cover. Though the title is visible, I think that the overall cover feels sort of "outdated" or needs some more touch-ups to help evoke the story behind that cover. Especially on Wattpad, covers are what dictates the target audience you get, so you have to make sure you are portraying the cover properly for people to learn more about the story. The biggest issue I have is firstly, it feeling outdated, but also the fact that your name is not that visible and really gets lost in the font and background.

III. Blurb

Okay! I like it! I like the blurb and it sort of reads like how a movie teaser would work which I adore. We get to see that theme of fantasy, darkness, and romance as well. Not a lot to say here except that it reads like a movie teaser, not so much as a book blurb. Perhaps if you made it more paragraph style; additionally, if you raised the stakes in the blurb and evoked even more of the darker elements, I feel it would be great!

IV. First Sentences

Okay... you know it is not the strongest, but it is workable. I feel that you were able to put the reader's right into the position of the story, but I do think it needs a little punch to it. Not quite sure what type of punch, but I just feel that it needs a little bit more to really get the readers anxious to read more.

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Shall we begin? SO. You just requested for pretty much a general look at your story so here you go! I am going to go for a bit more like a notes style since it has been working best for me.

Firstly, I can see that your grammar with punctuation and work choice is good! It is not bothersome and so far as I am reading, I am not noticing anything that is concerning or even noticing errors at all!

This is just a personal preference of mine, but I am not really a fan of just information-dumping on the physical appearance of someone. Especially when Caesia is not really that interested in seeing the Crown Prince, I am not sure why she would note, in her mind, about his appearance. It would kind of make more sense if she was looking at everything around her and not at the Crown Prince at all (this could have added more tension between the two).

So far with my reading, I like the story! My only thing I will note is the reality aspect of it. It is giving "chosen one" trope which has nothing wrong with it, just you even explained it on how ¼ of the people are Dormant telekinesis power users, but apparently the Crown Prince already knows she would be "more helpful?" Again, nothing wrong with this, just something I noticed.

I will say though, I do feel like some of the main information brought towards the storyline is coming off a bit like information-dumping. As in, you sort of information-dump the key details instead of letting them reveal themselves slowly. For example, I felt that information about ¼ of the people who are dormant telekinesis power users could have been introduced in her argument with the Crown Prince to challenge his claims.

I love how chapter 2 adds more anticipation, even switching the perspectives around to get a new lens on the actions, which is one of my favorite things to do in storytelling!

I will be honest, I don't actually have a lot to say about your story! I feel that a lot of the elements that I usually touch on are already fixed within your story. The only thing I could say, if you wanted a specific characteristic that I use in stories (each Dreamland Analyst has their own little thing they have that is "graded" differently), the atmospheric element to paint a portrait in your story is not really there as much as I would like. What I mean to say is, your story, so far in my readings, does not really bring the atmosphere they are around or descriptive elements of the setting into place. The sense of smell and hearing were not introduced as much as I think would be suitable, especially for a dark fantasy story which is what I write the most (so I am harsher on the honesty with it).

If you want to ask any questions on your story, please go ahead (make sure to tag me so I can see it)!

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Now for my takeaway. I like to keep these short and sweet for you to be able to come back to and just quickly see what you might want to take from this review.

1. Improvements to help:

a. Title kind of doesn't fit the story (just a bit).

b. The cover needs some updating to really get your target audience into the story. If you check my Wattpad profile, I have some graphic shops & premade shops that you can look at if you would like to change your cover (just to help you out).

c. Information dumping is a little much in the story (it is not bothersome, but as a reviewer, I find them quickly).

d. Realistic aspect should be looked at just a bit (it is nothing crazy to change, only if you felt something was off).

e. Blurb reads more like a movie teaser (which is okay), but I personally like more "back of a book" type of blurb.

2. My personal opinions of the work:

a. I loved my reading! The story definitely gives off fantasy vibes with the cross-dimension aspect; as well as I feel like we really get to see Caesia's personality very early on in the story which I adore.

And that is all I have to say. If anything, you can message me through PM or through here (you will have to tag me for me to get the notification) for any additional coverage that you would like me to discuss. That is all from me for now!

Have a great day and hope you enjoy this little review of mine!