Book: Redemption

Author: Rosephilips

Genre: Science fiction

Blurb: In a world where the Sun is a thing of legends, nothing is as it seems.

For most of her life, Rose has been trying to unravel the mystery of her past. However, she didn't realize just how unprepared she was to face the reality of her fate.

Finding herself crucial to the success of the Scientific Restoration of the World, she struggles to come to terms with the life thrust upon her, in order to save The Haven and prevent the extinction of humanity.

COVER:

Ah, the fire of the sun, blazing hot in the night sky. But will this cover shine brilliantly among its other Wattpad competitors, or will it fizzle out like an ember? It's time to see...

Does this cover communicate its content?

Mechanical. Technical. Sharp. These are the words that come to mind when looking at Redemption's cover, and between that and its use of jagged lines and blocky fonts, I'd dare say it looks very much like science fiction, indeed. This is dark science fiction, too, with men in dark long jackets chasing down their victims in the eternal night, and so the aggressive lines do well to communicate that threat.

Is it eye-catching compared to other titles?

Quick! Without lingering too long, which one of these titles draws your eyes? Be honest with yourself--it's not Redemption. Instead, it's probably The Dragon's Scale, which naturally pulls the eyes to the right. Why is that, anyways? What makes a cover pop! like that?

It's called contrast, and humans love it. To have the greatest contrast, there needs to be a big difference between the lightest areas and the darkest areas of the image. Redemption's issue is that it uses natural tones: a dark gray, almost devoid of color at all. The natural eye-catching element is in the flaming circle in the middle, but it's not enough to beat out its other competing titles.

How can we improve? Well, like I said, the greatest advantage of a cover that goes pop! is high contrast, as well as vivid colors. The flaming sun has the right idea, but unfortunately, the fonts for the title and author name are gray. It's dark-on-dark, grey-on-grey, when really we need colors that offset the grey.

How curious does the cover make you?

In order to test for curiosity, we have to ask ourselves, what kind of questions does this cover make me wonder? If there's no questions, or not very strong ones, then there's no curiosity, and the cover isn't pulling the reader into the pages. 

The challenge with Redemption is that the elements are quite self-contained as far as what information they give you. A sun is simply a sun. Yes, after reading the blurb, and realizing that in this world, the sun has disappeared, it makes more sense--but the reader isn't going to get that far until the cover makes them click it.

Does it pass the thumbnail test?

If we shrink the cover down to the size of a thumbnail (okay, okay a very large thumbnail), we can see that a lot of elements are lost. This is bad for those reading on mobile devices (close to 90% of Wattpad readers). We've lost the title, and the author name is even further invisible. The only element that remains is the sun, and that's because its high contrast remains stark against the off-gray background.

If we switched the font to something like the color of the flames, would it be easier to see? You betcha. It'd be almost certain to be visible, even on the miniest of the mini screens.

TITLE:

Redemption

Does the title match the content?

This book is about Redemption, which, according to the definition is the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil. So we get a hint of what one of the character's arcs is going to be about. That should make the title great, shouldn't it?

It's not that easy. Because a cover and a title are the only things that readers see when they go to pick up a book, they are marketing. They are an advertisement, saying, pick me up! Read me! And here, Redemption doesn't do so well. Let's talk about why that is...

Is there an element of mystery to it?

There's two jobs for a title and cover.

#1. Tell the reader what this book is about. Writers are very good at this.

#2. Get the reader curious enough to pick it up. Writers are very bad at this.

Like most titles, Redemption is good at #1, not-so-great at #2. Why is that? Well, to figure out why, try running a search of the word 'Redemption' in Wattpad's search engine, and see what stories that come up. You'll find everything from fanfiction to romance to werewolf to post-apocalypse. Basically, all genres. That's because Redemption isn't specific enough. It's a character theme that appears in almost every genre.

And in order to generate mystery, we have to give the reader a little bit of information. Let's play around with some titles that give a reader more information, even if they're a little cliché or heavy-handed. The Sun is Gone. It makes the reader ask, how is the sun gone? Where did it go? Let's pull some out of the blurb. Restoration of the World. Why does the world need restoring? What state is it from?

To elevate a title from okay to incredible, it has to make the reader ask questions. Think of the title: I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER. Why is he claiming not to be a serial killer? Is someone accusing him of being one? Is he actually a serial killer? The Hunger Games. What does hunger have to do with games? Is it something about poverty? Tell me more! Let me see this book!

Does it use a strong keyword in the title?

Keywords are important in Wattpad titles. When you run a search in Wattpad's search engine, be it for 'dragons' or 'lovers' or 'murder', the number one thing that determines whether your book will show up (other than if it's completed or not) is whether that word is in the title. 

Redemption misses that important opportunity. Remember that search we did for 'redemption'? Look how many other titles are named that exact same thing. Because it's so commonplace, this particular Redemption is drowned out in a sea of competitors.

BLURB:

I often warn writers that on Wattpad mobile, blurbs are cut off so clumsily that the only thing visible is the first sentence, at most. I think the author of Redemption is aware of this, because the first sentence of the blurb is a great hook. In a world where the Sun is a thing of legends...

Again, it creates questions. What happened to the sun?

Here's the thing about writing blurbs: often, we're scared of giving away too much information and spoiling the story. In Redemption, I think the same fear might be lingering behind the scenes, because the blurb is vague. We know little to nothing about the world we're about to experience. But in order to generate more curiosity, we have to hook the reader with a smidge more details. Nothing is as it seems; unravel the mystery of her past; the reality of her fate. You don't have to spoil anything, but tell us a bit about the mystery of her past. Don't simply say that it's a mystery, make it a mystery to the readers.

Notice, in comparison, how compelling and interesting the last sentences are. It's the one that does give you more details. Finding herself crucial to the success of the Scientific Restoration of the World, she struggles to come to terms with the life thrust upon her, in order to save The Haven and prevent the extinction of humanity.

Whoa, whoa, back up! Look at all these interesting questions that arise! Crucial to the Scientific Restoration of the World? How so? In order to save The Haven? What is that? What is it a haven for? Tell me more! I need to read this book, please!

To conclude, I'd suggest touching up Rose's sentences so that we know a bit about who she is and what she wants. Everything else, it seems, is perfect.

TAGS:

I don't have many qualms with Redemption's tags. They are nice combination of both content tags--that draw the reader into the story--and marketing tags--that tell the reader what this story is about. The only one I'd suggest replacing is #wattpadbooks. I can say with certainty that unless your book is actually published by Wattpad Books, you'll never achieve any sort of meaningful rank with it.

FIRST CHAPTER:

Sometimes, I take issue with prologues. Often they are too vague and too atmospheric in order to solidly ground the reader in what they can expect from this story. But that's not the case with Redemption. Even though, like many prologues, there is an element of mystery to it, it was sufficiently detailed for us to follow along in the story.

That, and Redemption's opening lines in the first chapter, are probably why the book has thus far done so well in tag rankings. The clickthrough rate (which is measured by completed reads of a chapter) is likely high, simply because you want to know more. It starts with Rose's sinking feeling that something is going to go terribly wrong, and of course, it does.

And there's nothing that spurs the sense of mystery quite like four strange men in black coats with guns. Not only that, there's a tiger in the hotel lobby she's at. Sorry, what? How is that happening? What is going on? Of course, these are the questions that drive us readers through the story. Our protagonist is warned that if she's seen a tiger, it means the hotel is no longer safe. Again, more questions: Why? A dog transforms into a boy. Huh? 

Oh man, now us readers really, really have to read on...

OVERALL:

I think that content-wise, Redemption is off to a great start. It has a lot of mystery, the readers are left wondering what's going on, and as long as they are given some answers in subsequent chapters, they'll be compelled to read it. It's the elements besides the actual story content that needs work: cover, title, and blurb. But as soon as these details are fixed, I'm sure this novel will be a blazing sun that readers can't look away from.