Its been five days and Ringo's nightmares have become a ritual.

He has gotten almost no sleep and won't eat but maybe a few bites each meal.

I have rapidly become more and more afraid.

To make things worse he won't speak a word to me about it.

He claims everything is fine, but I really know its not.

I sat on the couch of the dressing room, reading the newspaper as Ringo got ready for the interview.

"Are you nervous?"

I peeked my head out from behind the paper and watched Ringo fidgit around with his tie,  trying his best to get it tied.

"No, I'm not nervous, why?"

I sighed folding up the newspaper and stood to help him.

"I dont know, you just haven't been yourself lately.

And I was thinking maybe its just your nerves causing you all this anxiety."

Ringo swallowed hard adverting his eyes from mine.

I quickly tied the tie and pushed it up tight, but not too much.

"Ritchie whats wrong?"

I massaged his shoulders, showing my troubled expression.

He said nothing still gazing afar.

I could feel a tension on him I never felt.

Something was definitely not right.

"Ringo I'm worried about you!

You are scaring me please!
I will do anything, just tell me whats wrong.........

Please."

His eyes finally let the gaze fall, now a new one between us locked.

The blue his eyes once were, were now surrounded by red, and his pupils a clouded gray.

"Nothings wrong. I'm just tired."

I nodded pursing my lips together tight.

"Okay.......... But that's always the answer isnt it?

Ringo something is wrong with you.

Throughout the past few days I have felt like I am living with a complete stranger.

What happened to my Ritchie?"

For a moment he stared and a tear fell.

But thats all he did before he had to leave for the interview just outside.

I listened from back behind the curtain as the interview went on.

It was ficinataing to listen to them answer all the questions.

You never knew what to expect from them.

It was like they had a answer for everything.

John always gave smart alec remark no matter what the question was.

Paul answered wisely but got a good laugh or two out of them.

George didn't say much, but when he did a giggle fit erupted across the room.

Ringo slowly drew breaths from his cigerate and laughed along with the lads.

He always answered the questions carefully respectfully.

Every now and then I would catch him taking a glimpse in my direction.

And every time he did I felt that emptiness and pang in my heart.

Something was off.

He was off.

He was far, distant, and my radar wouldn't reach him.

Even though it always had.

Soon the interview was over and me and Ritchie were very tired.

I went to change as soon as we got home.

And when I came back into the living room, there was Ringo half asleep wrapped tight in a blanket on the couch.

I walked over lifting the blanket up deciding to join him.

The warmth from his body soaked into my skin sending chills down my spine.

I laid my head on his chest the rest of my body in a diagonal position.

A smile pushed at his lips and he laid a hand on the back of my head.

"Ellie, I'm sorry."

I let out a sigh sliding my hand up and down his arm.

"I've been hiding my feelings away because I didnt want you to worry.

But I guess its just caused you to worry more.......

Hasn't it?"

I drew in a breath as I nodded.

He also nodded in response as he turned his head away.

"Ellie...... There is something that I have been meaning to tell you."

I sat up criss-crossing my legs.

And my ears at full attention.

"Ritchie, I'm ready to listen.

You haven't been you at all for the past two weeks.

I need an explanation."

Ringo shifted and sat next to me.

"My dreams........

They are always about me loosing you.

But its only when I have left you alone."

I swallowed and racked my brain for a moment when he wasn't by my side.

"Ringo but, you've never left me alone."

"I know."

I gave out a light laugh, unsure of what he meant.

"Ritchie, what are you saying?"

He licked his lips as he watched himself twiddle his thumbs.

I waited patiently as he took a moment to sort out his thoughts into words.

"Elise, Brian is sending us to Hamburg....... Germany."

I suddenly couldn't breathe and felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

"What?

When do you leave?

How long will you be gone?

I'll miss you too much, I can't do this, Ritchie I -"

Ringo grabbed my face his eyes red and watery.

"Ellie, we leave two days from now."

The tears flowed as Ringo's words unrolled.

I couldn't bare to see his face and turned away.

"How long will you be gone?"

I felt his warm hands rest on my cold shoulders.

"It could be up to three months."

I let out a loud sob as I dug my face in my hands.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!?

I'm not ready for this!"

"Elise, sweetheart I'm sorry I just I didn't know when to tell you."

"Oh stuff it!

Just don't- don't talk to me right now I don't want to hear it."

I jumped up from the couch and ran to the bedroom tears pouring.

I slammed the door shut and threw myself on the bed.

I dug my face into the mattress sobbing.

I was so angry.

Angry that he hadn't told me till now.

But mostly I was devastated.

He was leaving for three months and there was nothing that I could do about it.

I mean yes, it was for the band, and I was proud.

But if only I had known sooner.

My mind didn't want to face facts.

I kept pushing them back far away from my eyes.

I didn't want to see the word in my mind that stayed flashing through.

I didn't want to say

goodbye.

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😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

          This
                     Is
                           Awful.
       
                                         My
                          Heart
         Hurts.

😭😭😭😭💔