28

I groan softly just as I pulled the door to close it, and I realize I have absolutely nothing to do if I leave him right now. He's being stupid and secretive, but I cancelled everything so I could have a Saturday with him, so now I have nowhere to go. I wasn't going to go fucking around, but I had people to meet and stuff to do.

I took a step backwards and entered the room again. As I closed the door, I said, "Forget it, okay. So, how was your day?"

"The day just started," he replied, in that same monotonous voice. I bit my bottom lip softly as I took a seat against the wall, behind the door. If the door opened, I'd be squashed like a bug. Hopefully people know how to knock. I rest my elbows on my knees and I just stared at him. All his attention went to that stupid ass book.

"Okay, then how was your morning?" I asked.

"I was being injected basically all morning."

"Okay, well what the fuck do you want me to do about that, Ashton? Why are you being like this?" I groan and rest my head in my hands.

"You can go," he says, "go back to your ex or whoever he is that you love so much."

I sighed as I squeezed my eyes shut, "I didn't actually mean for you to be this jealous."

"I'm not jealous," he defends, "I'm just annoyed."

"Cody and I are friends – like really close friend," I roll my eyes. I mean, he's my ex ad we fuck around sometimes but I'm completely into Ashton. I fought for him (or just cried), why would I just give all that up just like that? I'm not stupid.

"How great," he says. I sigh softly and stood from my seat on the floor. I walked towards him to his bed and took a seat. My hand found his then I placed a soft kiss on it. "It's only you, okay? Cody and I are friends, but he's with his football fuckers so yeah, I'm with you."

"You make that sound as though you're only with me because he's gone," he states. I mean, that's sort of true... but not completely. I actually like Ashton. It's just that if Cody hadn't left I wouldn't be searching for an Ashton. I can't tell if I'm being an ass right now, or not. But based on Ashton's expression, I think I'm being annoying.

"Okay, all that matter is you, okay. I like you a huge lot and I want to be with you."

"Until I die," he says. I groan as I rest my head on his chest, "You're such a downer, Ashton!"

"Sorry," he flashed me a smile when I looked up to him. I kissed his chest once then rest my head on it again. Ashton's hand went to my back, rubbing it comfortingly, and honestly, I was ready to stay like that for the rest of my life. I smiled to myself before getting a bit more comfortable in his bed. I absolutely detest lying in bed fully clothe, but this right now feels good and I actually don't mind it. I listened to him breathing for a while, and I cherished the moment.

As much as I don't want to think about it, I know it's bound to happen, so I have to treasure every breathing second I have with him. I blink up at him and asked, "Can I take you out?"

He looked shocked at first, with crinkled eyebrows. "Uhm I don't know..."

"I should ask a nurse or something. I'd like to take you out," I tell him and lean up so I could see his face and expression and everything else. He still looked a bit confused, which made me sigh softly. He obviously thinks I'm fucking crazy for thinking that because he's a major pessimist. I lay on his chest once more but said nothing after that. I'm sort of annoyed and happy at the same time; I just can't pick a side right now.

After about thirty minutes of us just lying there in silence (besides his stupid heart monitor), I decided to speak. I asked him, "Are you a virgin?"

"What?" he chuckled.

"Seriously, are you?"

"To guys yeah, obviously," he shrugged.

"So, you like fucked a girl already?" I asked.

"Yeah, my ex," he tells me simply. I bite my bottom lip softly. I've obviously never been with a girl and don't really want to. I'm definitely happy with who I am and who I've been with.

"Why'd you ask?"

"Uh curiosity..." I muttered, "Do you plan to lose it before you die? ... You know, the guy one..." I awkwardly ask. Ashton laughed, at probably my awkwardness. I wasn't even looking at him, I was staring randomly at a wall.

"Who's the pessimist now?'

"Just answer the question."

He hesitated for a short while before he finally answered, "I don't know..."

"You should... so you could like die in pleasure."

"That made no sense," he laughed, and his chest vibrated. I smiled, "Seriously though. I mean, like not now or anything... but like do it sometime. It doesn't even like have to be with me.... but I would prefer if it were with me, you know..."

"Wow, you're so subtle."

"Thank you," I laugh at his sarcasm. I still didn't get an answer from him, but I don't really want to push him. I just want to know that sometime in the (near) future he'd be willing to... do the deed. I blinked up at him and flashed a smile, before moving up to connect our lips in a short peck. Ashton cupped my cheek and deepened the kiss.

It feels so surreal that I'm actually kissing him right now. I mean, he was a straight guy who I crushed on, and now I'm in his bed and sucking his tongue. Things are going really perfect right now and I just don't want to ruin it (which I know I probably might – it's what I do).

I slowly began to straddle him as the kiss continued. Ashton shifted underneath me, but eventually he seemed comfortable, and I was comfortable. His hands went down to my waist as I began to kiss down to his neck. And when I heard the machine beeping out of control, I know I was doing something right. I love that machine sometimes. I pull away after a few seconds and stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I smile then blink up the machine. He looked at it also then began to blush insanely. He shoved my head away gently and I began to laugh. I rolled onto the bed as I laughed. "You're in love with me, aren't you?"

"What the fuck?" he laughed.

"It's okay – I'm irresistible."

"Whatever you say," he replied. I began to laugh again and I leaned across to kiss him, only he moved his head and I kissed his cheek. "See, you're not that irresistible."

"Fuck you," I roll my eyes but kiss him anyway.

~*~*~