[do crime but smart, Friday, 4:03 PM]

Lighting mcqueen: guys I went back to the store today and he was there!!!!

In all his blonde and sassy glory

This time when we locked eyes I didn't flee from the store

Dragon: ah yes I can see it now

You in all your glory, running from a store like a pigeon

It's beautiful

Lightning mcqueen: okay shut up

Roonil Wazlib: All Hail Harry

Our Pigeon King

Bookworm: he shall be honored

Lightning mcqueen: you guys suck

Dragon: isn't that your job? With your little blonde lover?

Roonil wazlib: JSHFAKJDHF

Bookworm: omg you really called him out, didn't you

Lightning mcqueen: ... no comment

Dragon: JSHDGFAJSDGHF

Roonil wazlib: we're all a mess

[hiss hiss bitches, Friday, 4:10 PM]

Pots n pans: my coworker just said 'can I get a price check on a baby'

Blazer: six quid

Toot toot: that's way overpriced

Pots n pans: sorry we're understaffed rn

Dragon: I only have four quid and a chocolate bar, is that okay

Pots n pans: that's fine I suppose

Blazer: we're all terrible

Dragon: yeah

Imma send ss of this to the other gc lollll

[do crime but smart, Friday, 4:14 PM]

Dragon: [funny convo ss]

Lightning mcqueen: HAH

Roonil wazlib: I only would've given them three quid and half the chocolate bar

Lightning mcqueen: honestly even that's still overpriced

Bookworm: where the hell does 'pots n pans' work that they wanted a price check on a baby

Dragon: the government

Bookworm: that's not the answer I was expecting but it is infinitely more concerning

Roonil wazlib: 😬

[Private message, Friday, 4:16 PM]

Hermione: Ron, I think we have an issue

Or maybe not, depending on how you look at it

Ron: what's up love?

did Pigwidgeon fly into the toilet again?

Hermione: ...again?

Ron: never mind

what's the problem?

Hermione: its about the screenshot that dragon sent

The names... they looked familiar

Ron: are you telling me you've met someone named 'pots n pans'?

Hermione: no, but we have met someone named pansy

As in, Pansy Parkinson

Ron: love that's impossible

it's probably just someone who's pansexual being funny

Hermione: humor me

Ron: alright love

Then who's 'blazer' and 'toot toot'?

Hermione: Blaise Zabini, but I haven't figured out the other yet

Ron: okay, say it is them. Then dragon knows two people from Hogwarts. What's the problem?

Hermione: Zabini and Parkinson were both Slytherins. Can you think of any Slytherins who would use the nickname 'dragon'?

Ron: someone who thinks dragons are-

Wait

You're not suggesting that dragon is Malfoy, are you?

Hermione: it would make sense

Ron: ...

You're right, of course

You always are

Hermione: it's why you love me

Ron: yeah it is

So what do we do?

Hermione: I've been thinking about what dragon- well, Draco, I suppose- said about his crush and what Harry's said about his

I'm a hundred percent sure they like each other

Ron: Are you thinking what I'm thinking

Hermione: I think I am

Ron: this. this is why i love you.

Hermione: 😈

[hiss hiss bitches, Friday, 4:16 PM]

Blazer: any updates on your schoolboy obsession

Dragon: first of all, bitch,

Second of all, yes I saw him and we locked eyes and he blushed but didn't run away this time

I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow

Toot toot: is he gonna be there?

Dragon: I mean he'd better, I'll be there

Pots n pans: want us to come with?

Dragon: you like like you want to kill people all the time, Theo is a judgmental asshole, and blaise would steal my thunder

So no

Plz don't

Blazer: I'm flattered, really

I mean

Potter is decently attractive I suppose

Dragon: back tf off

Blazer: hahaha ur hilarious

Toot toot: anyways, what are you going to say to him?

I mean you can't do what you did in school

Dragon: why not? It drove him mad

Toot toot: yes and almost got you killed multiple times

Drive him mad in a different way

Dragon: what do you suggest, King Of Romance?

Toot toot: I'm choosing to take that as a compliment

Dragon: 🙄

Toot toot: flirt with him

You were both always good at banter, now just take out the malicious intent

Eye fuck him a little bit

That always drives girls mad

Dragon: harry's not a girl

Toot toot: potato potahto

Blazer: I agree with Theo

And can confirm that eye-fucking works on boys too

Pots and pans: I second that

Dragon: is everyone except me getting action

Toot toot: yes

Blazer: yes

Pots n pans: yes

Dragon: I hate you all