"You just HAD to rob the candy store, didn't you?" Sam declared. Gabriel shrugged, eating a lollipop.

"Oh come on, Samsquatch, even you have to admit it was fun." The moose scowled. Sure, going out with Gabriel had been fun. Ransacking a candy store and eating whatever you wanted? Yeah, that was also pretty fun. But getting arrested with an archangel when you've already been on the FBI's most wanted list like three times? Not so much fun.

Especially since the police department was completely lost at who the hell Gabriel was, seeing as his finger prints matched up with a missing gang leader from 1922.

Well, if Sam gained anything from this experience, at least he knew what year Gabe had gotten his vessel from.

The two of them were currently locked up in an interrogation room. Sam sat like an attentive student in his chair, his hands neatly folded as he glared at the wall, still mad at Gabriel. Gabe, on the other hand, was leaned back in his chair, his legs kicked up on the table, and a smirk on his face as he ate his lollipop and shot suggestive jokes at Sam, who remained emotionless.

The door to the room opened suddenly, and a man in a suit walked in, holding a file. He shoved Gabriel's feet off the table and sat down across from them, opening the file to the page with Sam and Gabe's mugshots on them. Sam let out a sigh. It was going to be rough getting out of this one.

"So, let's start with something easy." The man began, his gaze resting on Gabriel. "I'm Agent Falkins; who are you?"

"Gabriel." He replied, enjoying his candy.

"Gabriel what?"

".....Gabriel." 

"Gabriel Gabriel is your legal name?"

"No, my name's just Gabriel."

"What's your surname?"

"I dunno- what's your ma'am-name?"

"....What is your last name?"

"Don't got one." Agent Falkins sighed and turned to Sam. 

"Do you know what his name is?"

"Gabriel." Sam offered, trying to think of a logical last name for him. "Gabriel.....Shurley."

"Uh huh," The man looked skeptical, but it was obvious he wasn't going to get much more of an answer then that. "Then let's move on and make sure I've got all my facts right on you. Sam Winchester, isn't it?"

Sam sighed. 

"Yep." He offered, looking the Agent dead in the eye.

"The same Sam Winchester who shot up a diner in St. Louis?" Gabriel's eyes widened and he glanced over at Sam, who grimaced.

"Supposedly, yes."

"And murdered some people and held hostages in a bank in Milwaukee?"

"Uh huh." Sam gritted his teeth.

"And the same Sam Winchester who escaped a high security government prison with his brother, who has been on the FBI's most wanted list even more times then you have?"

"That's me."

"And you're aware that you're wanted for several accounts of credit card fraud, defecating a corpse, impersonating a Federal Agent, kidnapping, first degree murder, breaking and entering, accessory to armed robbery, attempting to murder the president, and several dozen other crimes?"

"Yep."

"And yet you got busted for breaking into a candy store?"

"Yep." the agent stared at Sam. 

"Seems kind of a petty crime for a criminal like you to get caught for." 

"I'm not a criminal."

"Your record says otherwise." Sam shot him a bitchface. "Now, it says here that you attended Stanford college for a few years?"

"Yes."

"And it says here you've been to jail before- in Green River County Detention Center?"

"Yep."

"Geez, Sammich," Gabriel commented. "You've been a busy bee."

"Shut up, Gabe." Sam ordered, not even glancing towards the archangel.

"And," the Agent flipped through the file. "You've been married once-"

"Wait what?" Gabriel's head snapped towards the younger Winchester.

"-To a Becky Rosen?" Sam covered his face with his hands.

"Yeah, that.....that happened." He admitted.

"But you two divorced soon after; why was that?" Agent Falkins questioned. 

"Honestly?" Sam smirked. "Because she drugged me with a love potion and married me, and continued to drug me until my brother came and rescued me, and I made her sign the divorce papers. Not to mention she is a total psychopath and completely obsessed with me in a very unhealthy way."

"Yeah, that's sounds about right." Gabe agreed. His eyes widened. "Oh my dad- YOU MARRIED MY DAD'S GIRLFRIEND?!?!"

"Ex-girlfriend." Sam corrected.

"That is so gross!"

"Not the time, Gabe, not the time." Gabriel crossed his arms and leaned forward to look at the file.

"What else do you have in there, Mr. Mystery Agent? I wanna know what else my moose is hiding from me." Agent Falkins rolled his eyes.

"Two more last things, Mr. Winchester." He went on. "One, could you point us in the direction of your brother, because that would be very helpful to our investigation."

"Hmm, let me think about that.....No." Sam deadpanned. "I'm never telling you where Dean is."

"I know where he is," Gabriel offered.

"Gabe, don't you dare."

"He's hiding out in his secret sex dungeon with his winged sex toy."

"Oh my god, Gabriel, WHY." Agent Falkins raised an eyebrow.

"Last question." He offered, attempting to get them back on track. "What can either of you tell me about this man?" He slid a picture on the table, and they glanced at it with a frown.

"Cassie?" Gabriel asked, confused. Sure enough, it was a grainy picture of Cas, standing with Dean outside a Gas n Sip.

"What does he have to do with anything?" Sam questioned.

"But you do know him," The Agent concluded.

"Yeah," Sam said vaguely.

"What does Cassie have to do with your investigation? He's innocent as a flower." Gabriel insisted.

"His name isn't Cassie; it's James Novak." Agent Falkins corrected. "He's been a missing persons case for years now, and we thought it went cold until we saw this."

"Cas- I mean, James, isn't a missing person." Sam replied. 

"So what- did you kidnap him?"

"What? No!"

"Are you blackmailing him?"

"No!"

"Are you aware that he has a family- a wife and a little daughter named Claire?"

"Yes,"

"Are you aware that we also have proof of you and your brother being in the same town around the same time that his wife's body was found, and that her murderer hasn't been caught?"

"Well....no...."

"Did you kill Amelia Novak?"

"No!"

"Did your brother?"

"No!"

"Did you help James Novak in an attempt to kill his wife?"

"NO!"

"Did you blackmail James Novak into doing what you wanted, and then killed his wife and kidnapped his daughter when he disobeyed?"

"NO!"

"Did-"

"Would you quit testing theories- THE MOOSE SAID NO!" Gabe declared. 

"Neither me nor my brother have ever harmed James Novak or his family," Sam proclaimed. "Jimmy is our friend, and he is with us voluntarily. None of us killed his wife- I don't know who did, and we never kidnapped Claire."

"So you and your brother don't have a habit of leaving missing teenage girls on the doorstep of a sheriff in Sioux Falls?" Sam opened his mouth to reply, and slowly shut it.

"I thought so." Agent Falkins retorted. "That's all the information I need for now- see you tomorrow, boys." He got up and left, leaving them alone in the room once more.

".....Well, ain't he peachy." Gabe commented. "Wanna get out of here, moosie?"

"Yes." Sam grumbled.

"Let's see how the police react to this one." The trickster commented before grabbing Sam and pulling them out of the police station.

They popped up in the bunker a moment later and Sam breathed a sigh of relief.

"WHERE have you BEEN?" Dean's voice roared suddenly and both Sam and Gabriel jumped in fear. "I have been calling you for HOURS, I thought you were-"

"We got arrested." Sam explained. "Because this dumbass thought it was a good idea to rob a candy store."

"Hey, you didn't stop me." Gabe insisted. Someone smack the back of his head, and Gabe whirled around to glare at Cas.

"You got arrested," Dean repeated, crossing his arms like an angry parent.

"It'll be fine, I'll just lay low for a while." Sam offered. "And apparently, the FBI is interested in Cas now too."

"Wait what?" Cas asked, confused. "Why me?"

"They were asking all sorts of questions about 'James Novak.' They think we're blackmailing you, that we kidnapped you, and that we killed Amelia Novak." Dean facepalmed.

"Sometimes I really hate my life." The Winchester complained.

"Don't worry, guys, I just confused them completely." Gabriel offered. "My fingerprints are from the 1920's, so that'll keep them stumped for a while."

"Great." Sam rolled his eyes. "I love being on the FBI's most wanted list. Again."

"Do you think they'll add me to it? Wanted for candy store theft- Gabriel!"

"You should not be proud of this, Gabe."

"But I am! Let's get arrested and escape again! It's fun!" The Winchesters exchanged a glance.

"I'll hold him down," Dean started. "And you punch."

"Great plan." Sam agreed, and they all lunged at Gabriel.