Set in AU

Castiel had exactly one thing going right in his life. And that thing was his boyfriend, Dean.

Cas had no clue why Dean had started dating him in the first place, but by God, he was glad for it. Dean was the only thing that made Cas get out of bed in the morning.

Dean made life worth living.

Too bad nothing else did.

Cas's parents fought constantly, screaming at each other and at their children. It was almost a relief that they were getting divorced, but the blow still stung at the Novak children.

Cas's siblings hated him for being gay, or most of them, anyways. Gabriel, Lucifer and Hannah didn't mind, but Michael, Raphael, and Anna were determined to make Cas's life a living hell.

Not that that was a difficult job.

School wasn't much better. Cas didn't have many friends- he just tagged along with whoever Dean was talking to. Before he had started dating Dean, school had been full of bullies and silent lunches eaten in bathroom stalls. Dean had changed that, though. He had called dibs on Cas.

And nobody dared to mess with anyone Dean Winchester called dibs on.

They were seniors in high school, and Cas had hoped that college would be his escape from all of his problems, but that didn't look like it was going to happen. Cas had taken the SAT twice already, and he had basically failed it both times. He was a smart kid, but Cas was just awful at tests, especially one that put so much pressure on you.

His last chance to take it was next week, and Cas had abandoned the rest of his classes in order to study for the SAT. Dean came over after school to help him study, but Dean didn't even know how studying worked.

Dean was a solid C student, and he didn't plan on going to college anyway, so he didn't care about the SAT. He knew what the test meant to Cas though, and was willing to try and help.

They were sitting on Cas's bed, study materials sprawled around them, when things started to go to hell.

"Jeez Louise," Dean commented, flipping through Cas's hundreds of flashcards while Cas stared at a textbook, chewing on the end of his pencil. "Do you really have to know ALL of this, Cas?"

"Yes." Cas declared, never looking up from the page.

"Well, I dunno. When I took the SAT, it didn't mention anything on the Evolution of man."

"You never know what could be on it." Dean glanced up at his boyfriend, noting how tense Cas looked. He set down the flashcards, and slid over to his boyfriend, Cas's back to him as he stayed focused on the textbook.

"Maybe you should take a break." He advised. "There's no way you can cram all of this stuff into your head at once."

"You think I don't know that?" Cas said anxiously. He laughed manically. "I just have to remember as much as I possibly can."

"Cas-" Cas didn't hear another word, a loud buzzing filling his ears.

He was just SO stressed out. With everything, with the stupid test, with the fact that his grades were slipping, his parents screaming at each other all night, practically his whole family hating him and shoving him down the stairs because they thought he was wrong- everything was just too much.

Too damn much.

And finally, as Cas stared blankly at the textbook before him, he snapped, cracking his pencil in two.

"You need to leave." He told Dean with the little self control he had left.

"What?" Dean looked confused. Cas only looked more strained now.

"Get out." Cas ordered.

"Cas,"

"GET OUT." Cas repeated, throwing the pieces of the pencil across the room. Dean jumped to his feet.

"Cas, what's wron-"

"JUST GET OUT!" Cas yelled, getting to his feet and shoving Dean towards the door.

"I can help

"EVERYTHING'S WRONG- THIS STUPID TEST IS WRONG AND I'M GOING TO FAIL AND- JUST GO AWAY!" His breath came in gasps and tears filled his eyes as he shoved Dean again. Dean stumbled back into the hallway, looking shocked, and Cas slammed the door shut.

As soon as the door slammed, Cas crumpled to the floor, sobbing and clutching his head.

Dean stared at the closed door, not knowing what had just happened.

Faintly, he could hear Cas's crying on the other side of the door. He paused.

This was definitely not just about the test.

But Cas obviously didn't want him there, and Dean didn't want to upset him further, so he went home, still stunned as he flopped down on his own bed and tried to think of a way to help Cas calm down.

Cas looked around his room, shaking, and all he saw was more things that would bring him stress and pain. The stupid textbook and all his study materials, pictures of his family. Cas scribbled a quick note, taped it to his door, and then promptly went into his closet and shut the door, trying to calm his breathing.

It wasn't until he curled up into a small ball in the dark closet that he realized how bad he was shaking.

He sobbed, not knowing what to do. He knew he had probably just messed up everything he had with Dean, too. The Winchester was probably going to dump him after that whole incident, and tell the school that he'd had some bizarre freak out episode.

Cas tried to clear his mind, but it was impossible. Everything that was stressing him out swirled around his head, and Cas grabbed an old pillow from the closet floor and screamed into it, letting out everything he had been keeping in. He cried, not knowing for how long.

He had finally calmed himself when his phone buzzed from his pocket. Wiping his eyes, Cas dug out the device and turned it on, its brightness illuminating the whole closet as Cas blinked at the screen.

New message from Dean

Cas opened it, positive that it would be some long speech about how he and Dean shouldn't see each other anymore. But instead....

Hey. 

Cas stared. What was he supposed to say to that? He had screamed at Dean- literally shoved him out of the room and slammed the door in his face- and now, all Dean had to say was Hey? His phone buzzed again.

 What can I do to help?

Tears brewed in Cas's eyes again and he clutched the phone to his chest. He was a mess, he knew. He didn't deserve someone as pure and good as Dean Winchester. He didn't reply to the message, the words being enough for Cas. Dean had no idea why he had freaked out suddenly, and yet, that didn't matter. He just wanted to make sure Cas would be okay.

Oh yeah. He definitely didn't deserve someone that perfect.

****

Dean stared at his phone, studying the text messages between him and Cas.

Read at 5:12, the little words below his last text said. Cas had seen his message, but he hadn't responded. 

Dean frowned. What did that mean? Had he texted the wrong thing? Should he have said something else? Should he text Cas again?

No, his gut told him. Just leave him be. Cas was obviously not himself, and Dean needed to let him work through that for now.

He sighed and turned off his phone, knowing that he shouldn't try to contact Cas again until Cas contacted him.

****

Cas wasn't in school the next day.

That fact made Dean worry a little bit. Cas never missed school. Heck, one time the poor kid had stumbled in with the flu just so he could take a Chemistry test. He had fallen asleep at his locker, and Dean had carried him to the nurse's office, insisting that he go home.

Hey, He texted Cas again, screwing what he had originally thought. If Cas wasn't at school, then he at least needed to know someone cared. How are you? He instantly regretted the words. Of course Cas wasn't okay.

Read at 7:45, the little words said. Still, no reply. Dean sighed. Well, at least Cas was reading the messages.

Miss u, he offered before putting his phone away and heading to class.

*****

The doorbell is not a kind sound when you have a massive hangover.

Or, at least, according to Lucifer, who grumbled and flung open the door, glaring at the kid before him.

"What?" He snapped, irritated.

"Is Cas here?" Dean asked, not even fazed by Lucifer's obvious irritation.

"Yeah, I think." Lucifer shrugged. "Haven't seen him today." He held the door open, and Dean walked in, bee-lining for Cas's room.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and went back to his room.

Dean paused at Cas's door. A hasty, violently written note was taped to the door, its message quite clear.

GO. AWAY.

Dean knocked on the door.

"Cas?" He asked. There was no response. Dean waited a minute, and then opened the door.

The room was empty. Cas's SAT flashcards were strewed across the room, like someone had thrown and ripped them apart. All the picture frames in the room had been flipped down to hide their images, except for one picture of Dean and Cas, which remained upright on the nightstand.

Dean scanned the room, his eyes settling on the closet. Cas had to be there- he wouldn't have left the house. He knocked on the closet door.

"Cas?" He asked again.

Inside the closet, Cas squeezed his eyes shut. He should have known that Dean would come and check up on him. While he felt a little better, Cas was nowhere near ready to leave his little hideout and face Dean- to have to explain everything.

"I uh, I brought you something." Dean insisted.

"Go away." Cas whispered under his breath. He knew he shouldn't say those words- especially not to Dean. No one in Cas's family had even come to see why he hadn't emerged from his room. But Dean had, and that meant a lot. But Cas just wasn't ready to talk. "Go away go away go away go away." He whispered, willing it to happen.

Dean had sat down on the opposite side of the closet door, not daring to open it. 

"I took notes on what you missed in class." He offered, not quite knowing what else to say. 

Silence was his only response.

".....Look, Cas," He sighed. "I don't know exactly why you're in there, and I'm not going to ask. But if you want to talk about anything- anything at all, I'm here. You know that." Dean fiddled with his hands, and his phone buzzed. Dean checked it with a sigh. Of course his mother would want him home now. "I gotta go," He told Cas. "But you just let me know if you need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is, either. I love you, Cas." 

Still no reply.

Cas waited until he heard a car engine start before daring to open the door and glance at the papers Dean had left on the floor. There was also a wrapped square package that Cas grabbed with a frown. There was a note on top.

They say chocolate is good for studying, for your health, for, remembering stuff and relaxing and all that crap, so I figured you might want some. But I thought pie might help more, so I guess a chocolate pie is probably the best thing I could get you.

Cas smiled. Sure enough, Dean had brought him a chocolate cream mini pie.  

And chocolate really does work wonders.

****

Cas was at school the next day.

It was first thing in the morning, and Dean had frozen at his locker, watching as Cas silently walked up to him. Cas had wordlessly wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, burying his head in his boyfriend's chest. Dean blinked in surprise but instantly wrapped Cas up in a tight hug.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked gently.

"No." Cas admitted, shaking his head. "It's just all too much, Dean. I can't take all of it, with my family and this stupid test- it's like everything in my life is falling apart."

"That's not true."

"But it is. Everyone hates me, Dean. My family- my own flesh and blood- HATE me. And I have no way to escape them."

"Hey," Dean held Cas at an arm's length, staring at him. Cas looked at the floor. "Look at me." Slowly, Cas met his eyes. "Screw your family. If they can't see how amazing you are, then they don't deserve you. So what if they hate you- I don't. I love you, Cas. That's got to count for something, right?" Cas stared at him.

"Dean, that's the only thing that counts." He admitted. "You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning and even bother trying to face the world. But the world got to be a bit much, and I don't know how much more of it I can take."

Dean thought for a moment, studying the person he cared so much about.

"What if you come stay with me for a while?" He offered. "Pack a bag, and come live with me. Then you can forget about your family and focus on one thing at a time." 

"But your parents-"

"Screw my parents, I'm not letting you go back to a house that stressed you out so much that you barricade yourself in a closet as an escape." Cas gazed at him, utterly amazed.

"How are you so perfect?" 

"I'm not perfect."

"I dunno, you're pretty damn close." Dean smiled.

"Thanks Cas." He tilted his head. "So, what do you say? Wanna come live with me?"

"Definitely." Cas smiled softly.

"Good." He wrapped an arm around Cas and they headed down the hall, a weight lifted from Cas's shoulders. "You tell me if you ever start getting stressed out again, okay?" Cas's smile widened.

"I love you."

"Love you too."