Beautiful (Smash Bros x Heathers)
Yep, I'm Heathers trash.
CAST-
Veronica: Lucina
JD: M! Robin (Stan Robcina)
Heather Chandler: Peach
Heather Duke: Zelda
Heather Mcnamara: Palutena
Ram Sweeney: Ike
Kurt Kelly: Marth
Martha: F! Corrin
I'll change up the roles later
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"September 1st, 1999. Dear Diary." Lucina said out loud as she scribbled in her journal.
"I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone but- here we are, senior year!" She announced to an invisible audience. "And uh... I look around at all these kids I've known all my life and ask myself- what happened?"
"Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!" The students chorused while pointing at each other accusingly.
"We were so tiny, happy and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased," Lucina sang.
"Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!"
"Singing and clapping, laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste." She continued.
"Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!"
"Then we got bigger, that was the trigger, like the Hoshidens invading Nohr," Lucina added gravely only to accidentally bump into a fellow student.
"Oh sorry!" She quickly apologized. "Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school- this is the Underworld."
"Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon," Lucina sang determined.
"Royal trash!" Kids shouted at her, causing Lucina to flinch.
"College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!" She exclaimed in frustration. Pausing, Lucina took a deep breath and managed to smile.
"But I know, I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better day," She sang in a more softer tone. "If we changed back then, we can change again! We can be beautiful..."
Suddenly, Link pushed Roy to the ground, who cried out "Ow!". "Just not today." Lucina muttered as she ran to Roy to help him.
"Hey, are you okay?" Lucina asked, extending her hand to help the Young Lion up.
"Get away, nerd!" Roy lashed out before jumping to his feet and hurrying along.
"...oh. Okay then." Lucina sighed. Students dejecting help were a common thing at Smash High School...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!" The teens shouted later that day at lunch, the last insult directly pointed at Dark Pit who flashed a glare at them.
"Things will get better, soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Garreg Mach or Brown," Lucina sang as she got her lunch. "Wake from this coma, take my diploma- then I can burn this town." She declared.
"Dream of ivy-colored walls and smoky Hyrulian cafes..." Lucina muttered dreamily, only for her thoughts to be interrupted upon bumping into at well built, blue-haired student wearing a varsity jacket. "Watch it!" He snapped.
"Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!" She burst out. As soon as she shouted that out, the athlete slapped her lunch tray out of her hands.
"Oooops." He said, stifling a laugh. As if they were in a musical, a spot light appeared over him. Rolling her eyes, Lucina pointed at him.
"Ike Gawain. Third year as linebacker and year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick!" Lucina exclaimed.
"What did you say to me, dork?" Ike growled, stepping into her personal space.
"Aah, nothing!" The Princess yelped. When he left, Lucina turned back to the invisible audience.
"But I know, I know (I know, I know...), life can be beautiful (Beautiful)." Lucina sang optimistically, only to be surprised that her classmates joined in, echoing her singing. Smiling, she led them in song.
"I pray, I pray (I pray, I pray), for a better way (For a better way). We were kind before (Oooh...); we can be kind once more (Oooh...). We can be beautiful (Oooh... Beautiful...)..."
That's when someone bumped into her with a lunch tray. Turning around, Lucina grinned upon seeing who it was. "Hey Corrin." She greeted.
"Hey!" The shy Dragon Princess chirped. Lucina bent down and picked up the fallen lunch tray. Once again, a spotlight fell upon Corrin.
"Princess Corrin of Nohr, my best friend since diapers." Lucina introduced.
"We up for movie night?" Corrin asked.
"Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail." Lucina commented.
"I rented The Princess Bride." Corrin said with a smile.
"Hohoho, again? Wait don't you have it memorized by now?" Lucina joked.
"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending." Corrin explained with a shrug.
"CORRIN DRAGONFART! STINKBOMB! BLAAAAAAAOOOOOOOTTTTTT!" Someone shouted out before knocking Corrin's lunch tray out of her hands. Looking up, Lucina glared at the asshole, who turned out to be another blue haired football player. As if this had become a routine, a third spotlight fell on this jerk.
"Marth Lowell. Quarterback and my half-cousin." Lucina stated. "He's the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf!"
"Haha! Alright!" Marth laughed, high fiving Ike. Tired of watching her friend getting picked on, Lucina snapped her fingers to get his attention.
"Hey! Pick that up! Right now!" Lucina ordered.
Marth turned around and frowned at her. "I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me, dear nerdy cousin?" He taunted.
Was she? Of course she was! Clearing her throat, Lucina glared at him in the eye. "Yes, I am. I want to know what gives you the right to pick on my friend." At this point, everyone stopped talking and was watching the scene unfolding in front of them.
"You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant." She sassed.
"OOOOOOOHHHHHHH BURN!" The other kids cheered.
Upon hearing this insult, Marth went quiet. Until he bent down to Lucina's height and pointed at her cheek. "...you have a zit right there." He said before bursting out in laughter with the other kids.
Lucina clicked her tongue and looked back at the imaginary audience. "Dear diary. Why...."
"Why do they hate me?" Roy asked himself.
"Why don't I fight back?" Sheik echoed.
"Why do I act like such a creep?" Marth cried out.
"Why..."
"Why won't he date me?" Corrin whimpered.
"Why did I hit him?" Ike muttered.
"Why do I cry myself to sleep?" Samus, Pit and Bayonetta sang out near the verge of tears.
"Why..."
"Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me!" The teens sang in desperation. "Send me a sign God! Give me some hope here! Something to live for!"
That was when a hush fell over the cafeteria. Three girls, wearing brightly colored uniforms walked in, oblivious to the angst, fear, depression and other feelings the students have. Speaking of which, the emotions the kids had washed away, replaced with awe and admiration.
"Ahh... Smashers! Smashers! The Smashers!" The kids chanted.
"And then there's the Smashers. They float above it all." Lucina murmured, a smile emerging on her own face.
"I love Peach, Zelda and Palutena!" The students chanted, fanning their lunch trays around them, like they were celebrities. Which technically, they are.
"Palutena, head cheerleader. Her family is loaded. They have an engagement ring selling business." Lucina explained, pointing at the girl in the green uniform before turning her attention to the girl in the purple uniform, who had a bored expression.
"I hate Peach, Zelda and Palutena!"
"Zelda runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but she did buy breast implants." Lucina said, making a face. Finally, she gestured to the girl in the bright pink uniform.
"I need Peach, Zelda and Palutena!"
"And Princess Peach, Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. The Almighty." Lucina swooned. "She is a mythic bitch." Lucina whispered.
"They're solid Teflon- never bothered or harassed." She explained. "I would give anything to be like that." Understanding where she was coming from, her classmates nodded.
"I would like to be their boyfriend." Link muttered.
"That would be beautiful..." The teens swooned.
"If I sat at their lunch table, guys would notice me!" Roselina exclaimed.
"So beautiful..."
"I'd like them to be nicer." Corrin said with a sigh.
"That would be beautiful..."
"I'd like to kidnap a Smasher and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats~" Shulk blabbered who received stares from everyone else. "I-it's a joke!" He added.
That's when the Smashers left the cafeteria, causing the chaos from earlier to resume. Not wanting to take any part in it, Lucina left only to find herself in the girls bathroom, where by coincidence the three Smashers were. Curious, Lucina watched them from inside a stall, where she witnessed Zelda vomiting.
"Grow up Zel! Bulimia is so '87," Peach sassed.
"Maybe you should see a doctor, Zelda?" Palutena suggested.
"Y-yeah Palutena, maybe I should." The Princess groaned. That's when the philosophy class teacher Ms. Bayonetta waltzed in.
"Ah Peach and Palutena," She said with her lovely British accent. She cringed when Palutena vomited a third time. "...and Zelda. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over the vomiting? You're late for class."
Realizing where this was going, Lucina scribbled something in her diary.
"Ah, but Zelda wasn't feeling well! We're just helping her." Peach said with a giggle.
"Ah how cheeky. But clearly none of you three have a hall pass. Therefore, week's detention." Ms. Bayonetta said with a smirk.
Seeing her chance, Lucina stepped out of the stall and handed the teacher a sheet of notebook paper. "Actually Ms. B, all three of us are on a hall pass. Yearbook committee." She lied.
Ms. Bayonetta blinked and stared at the hall pass. Sighing, she shook her head and looked back at the girls. "I see you three are all listed. Hurry along now." She ordered before handing the hall pass to Peach and leaving the bathroom.
Peach rose an eyebrow and silently read the hall pass. "This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?" She demanded.
Lucina gulped. "Uh... Lucina Lowell. And I-I crave a boon." She managed to say.
"What boon?" Peach asked with suspicion.
Oh Naga. Here comes the panic attack. Lucina picked her nails and looked at Peach with guilt. "Um, l-let me sit at her table. Just t-this once! No talking n-necessary. If p-people think you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave m-me alone." She yammered.
At that, the Smashers burst out laughing. Lucina buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. She knew it wouldn't work, so why even try? But no, she won't give up just yet. Lucina quickly looked back up. "Before you a-answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence n-notes."She added.
"How about prescriptions?" Zelda piped up.
"Shut up Zelda." Peach ordered.
"Sorry Peach..." Zelda muttered.
Peach then walked forward and glanced at Lucina from top to bottom before examining her face. "For a greasy nobody, you do have good bone structure." She commented.
"And a symmetrical face! If I were to take a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I would have matching halves," Palutena added. "That's very important." She quickly said upon seeing Lucina's confusion.
"Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds." Zelda muttered.
A smile slowly emerged on Peach's face. "And you know, you know, you know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss- and we're on our way." She sang as she went back to the other two Smasher's side. "Get this girl some blush and Zelda, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful."
"Let's make her beautiful..." Zelda continued.
"Make her beautiful!" Palutena echoed.
Lucina couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this actually happening? She looked at all three Smashers before shrugging. "Okay?"
"Okay!" The other girls squealed enthusiastically.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Out of my way geek!" Marth warned Shulk.
"I don't want trouble-" The Homs started before Ike cut him off by grabbing him by his collar.
"You're gonna die at three PM!" He threatened before letting him go.
Shulk stumbled before crashing into Samus and Daisy. "Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!" They hissed.
"What did I ever do to them?" He asked out loud.
"Who can survive this?!" The kids demanded.
"I can't escape this!"
"I think I'm dying!"
"Who's that with Peach?" Ms. Bayonetta suddenly asked, pointing to the doors.
Once again, everyone shut up when they noticed the Smasher's presence. "Whoa..." They breathed upon seeing this new addition.
"Peach, Zelda, Palutena..." They chanted.
"And someone!" Sheik pointed out.
"Peach, Zelda, Palutena..."
"And a babe!" Coach Falcon and Crazy Hand whistled. For once, everyone ignored the true perverts.
"Peach, Zelda, Palutena..."
"Lucina?!" Corrin exclaimed in shock.
Finally, Lucina ran in the front of the crowd in a blue blazer over a with dress shirt, black tie, pleated blue skirt, blue and black plaid socks and blue combat boots. On top of all that, she had the biggest smile on her face.
"Lucina! Lucina! Lucina!" The kids chanted.
"And you know, you know, you know, (Ooohhh!) life can beautiful (Aaah! Beautiful)!" Lucina sang happily with the rest of the student body harmonizing.
"You hope, you dream, you pray (Ooohhhh!)- and you get your way! Ask me how it feels (Beautiful!) looking like Hell on wheels! (Ooohhhh!)"
"My Lady Naga it's beautiful..." She paused, thanking her God for this blessing her with this moment. "I might be beautiful! (Beautiful!) And when you're beautiful... (Aaahhh!)"
"It's a fricken beautiful day!" Lucina belted out.
"Peach! Zelda! Palutena! Lucina!" The kids cheered, lifting Lucina up and carrying her across the track like she scored a touchdown in football. Corrin on the other hand watched everyone with concern. What in the world happened to her best friend? Then, an albino boy in a trench coat smiled and patted the Dragon's shoulder before walking away.
"Peach! Zelda! Palutena! Lucina!"
"Lucina! Lucina! Lucina!"
"Lucinaaaaaaaa!"
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Okay, it's explanation time. For those who are confused, the song is Beautiful, from my favourite musical, Heathers. It takes place in 1989, where former nobody Veronica becomes part of the popular group, the Heathers. Then she meets a guy named JD and things start to go downhill... Eh, I'm not spoiling it. Here are some more notes:
-The lyrics are obviously the italics. I didn't write the lyrics like normal lyrics because the characters are actually singing them
-Am I the only one who felt my writing was awkward in this oneshot? I felt like the harmonies of the other kids made it sound weird...
-The reason I didn't put Robin in this even though he is a main character is because he doesn't appear in this musical number. But I still wanted to feature him since he's like the second main lead so I put him at the end with Corrin
-Speaking of whom, Corrin is bullied quite a bit in this. She ain't chubby, so I couldn't have Marth say "Corrin Dumptruck! Honk!". Instead, I made him say "Dragonfart and make a farting sound (BLOAT!)
-And speaking of Marth, I made him Lucina's cousin because they share the same last name. They don't talk much more, rather he used to pick on her (and grows really horny for her-)
-Sorry about you Zelda stans, but Duke is a huge bitch in this musical. So Zelda will be very bitchy as well
-I tried to feature as many Smash fighters as background characters. If you want me to replace someone from the main cast with a different fighter, let me know
-Finally, please let me know if I should make this into a full song fic. Hope you enjoyed that!
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