C H A P T E R
F O R T Y

Four months passed by rather quickly and life for Ahmad and those around him continued to change some for the better and some for the worst. But far as Ahmad things where actually going okay, Cali and him were officially legally separated and co-parented with the kids.

He was attending sessions with Derek to get himself together and focused on what mattered the most which was his kids and himself. At this point in his life he was doing everything for them, he was mentally getting himself together so he could be the best parent and example of what a man is suppose to look and act like for them and them only.

As the days passed he could kinda see himself not working things out with Cali and being content with the way things where going now. Being a father to Marquette, Armoni, Adrian and Mariah was the greatest blessing he got from Cali and he was content with only having them in his life.

He loved Cali no doubt, but as he went to sessions and talked out his emotions with Derek he couldn't see himself ever trusting her and loving her the way he did before. He forgave her but he knew he would never forget it and it would always have him kind of paranoid to put all his trust in her again.

But although life for Ahmad was booming things for Cali weren't, she was miserable without Ahmad in her life the way she wanted him. They hadn't had sex, or even touched each other in that way within' the four months and she understood and respected him not wanting to but she missed him.

She missed him holding her, catering to her and just being the perfect man and father to her and she knew that it was all gone all behind her and although she wanted to change his mind, she knew she couldn't.

Everyday she had to watch him grow and become this happier person and she loved seeing him like that but she hated that it was without her.

Ahmad was taking trips with his boys, the kids and even a few trips with Shanice and Cali just had to watch from the sideline and hate outside of the club.

She knew the longer they stayed apart the more she was losing him and she was willing to do whatever to fix it, but apart of her felt he would be better off without her in his life. He seemed so happy now and she felt she would only bring him more pain.

Getting up from her bed she walked over to her dresser and grabbed her phone to check his snap since that was how she kept tabs on what he was doing since Ahmad usually posted damn near everyday.

Going straight to his name she clicked through his snaps watching some of his work out videos, his motivational messages he liked to do and a few of his everyday selfies he took. She then came across a cute post he made about their kids and how he expressed his love for them but when he got to the last snap and saw he was out to eat with Shanice and the kids she got pissed.

She knew Shanice was around the kids since her and Ahmad where friends but she didn't know they where doing like family outtings and shit together. As she watched the snaps she didn't like how they looked like such a happy little family together. She agreed to allow Shanice around the kids but she was starting to regret that decision now.

Cali wanted to like Shanice so bad but she couldn't help but resent her since she felt in a way she was taking her spot as the woman in Ahmad's life.

They spent so much time together and although it was clear that their friendship was platonic Cali couldn't help but feel that it would soon turn into more.

Closing out of the app she threw her phone on the bed and sighed. Here she was alone in their home since this was the week Ahmad had the kids and she hated it. As the days passed she was becoming more depressed and started to hate herself more and she knew it was becoming unhealthy since a lot of days she wasn't eating or sleeping.

Jumping at the sound of her phone ringing, she walked over to grab it and slightly smiled when she saw it was Ahmad calling on facetime.

Slightly trying to fix herself up, she slid the bar over only to be met with Armoni. "Hey mommy!" She greeted loudly catching the attention of Ahmad since he didn't even know she had his phone, but when he saw it was Cali she was talking to he let her do her.

"Hey baby, whatchu doing with daddy's phone?" She smiled.

Armoni shrugged and started laughing when Ahmad tried to grab his phone. "You wan talk ta' deddy mommy?"

"Yeah let me talk to your daddy."

Once Ahmad came into view Cali smiled, "I ain't know she even had my phone, I know this your week off and tryna get all the rest you need from the kids."

"It's fine Ahmad, I miss my babies even though they drive me crazy at times." She laughed causing him to do the same.

"Yeah true, they been working every bit of my nerves today but it's all good. Had to pop Armoni spoiled ass today though." He scoffed still kinda pissed at the way she was acting today.

"What did she do?"

"Man Cali, when I tell you she showed her raw ass today." He shook his head looking off in his disbelief. "She tried that white kid shit, we went to the mall to get some shoes and she wanted to go to the skating rink after I told her no and started acting a fool. So I snatched her ass up had Shanice stay with the others and took her to that bathroom and showed her little ass I wasn't playing."

Cali shook her head, "Is she good now though?"

"Ahmad, the karaoke contest is about to start. You still going up or you punking out?" At the sound of Shanice's voice Cali instantly got annoyed.

Bitch, you see he on the phone with his wife. She thought to herself as she listened to them talk to one another.

"You funny, but yeah just give me one second. Gon' head and help the kids pick the song they wanna sing and make sure its age appropriate. Armoni loves Beyoncé so any Beyoncé song is cool." He replied back to her before turning back to Cali.

"Yeah but back to what we was talking about Armoni straight, she got the message I was done playing after that whooping. All of them know ion play that acting a fool and crying for no reason and she learned that quick. But anyways, I'll let you go back to ya resting .. we'll talk later. See you Sunday."

Not really wanting to hang up, she eventually relunctantly nodded. "Okay, see you Sunday."

"Love you, bye." Hanging up before she could say it back, she felt her heart warm up instantly since she hadn't heard him say it in so long.

Falling back onto the bed, she tried not to look too much into what he said but for some reason that gave her a little hope that everything would eventually be okay for them.

Hearing Mariah cry on the baby monitor, Cali instantly got back up and entered her room to see her baby crying her lungs out. Reaching inside her crib she coddled her up in her arms and smiled down at her baby girl. "Whatchu crying for mamas? Mamas baby hungry?" She questioned as she prepared her to start breast feeding.

Grabbing her burping blanket she walked over to her rocking chair and sat down before she pulled out her boob and positioned Mariah in a spot where she could easily latch onto her nipple and be comfortable.

Mariah rarely went out with Ahmad since she was still so young and her health wasn't the best just yet. So a lot of times Ahmad would just come by and see her and spend a few hours with her getting that father daughter bonding in.

Some nights Mariah won't go to sleep until she sees Ahmad so at times Ahmad would have to drive in the middle of the night to come and rock her to sleep. Cali was amazed with how attached she was to him and loved the relationship they where forming.

Only person that was a little envious of their bond was Armoni, she was upset that she now wasn't his only baby girl and had to share his time with someone else. But as the days passed she was sorta coming around to the fact of being a big sister:

As she breast fed Mariah she gently rubbed her hand over her head full of hair and smiled down at her. She took Ahmad's whole face and acted like him a lot of ways as well. She was his twin just like Armoni and it was clear she was gonna be a daddy's girl as well.

Once Mariah was done getting her daily fed she eventually drifted off to sleep in Cali's arms. Getting locked in on admiring her and thinking about life itself she hadn't realized she dozed off in the chair for a couple of hours until she was woken up by a knock on their front door.

Placing her back in her crib, Cali stretched out her arms and yawned as she made her way down the hall and towards the front door where the knocking continued.

Looking through the peep hole she saw whoever it was had it covered and fear sunk in her heart. "Who is it?"

"The man of your dreams." Instantly she knew it was Reggie and wondered why he had even came here.

Opening the door she folded her arms and held a smug look when she came in contact with Reggie who was dressed up as if he was about to go out somewhere. "What do you want Reggie?"

"Besides you, nothing." He smirked as he stepped towards her snaking his arms around her waist.

Pushing him back she shook her head, "We're not doing this again Reggie, you need to go home."

"Why? You seemed to have enjoyed what happened between us. Which part did you like best the part was it when I had you bent over on all fours, or when I ate you out or was it when I had you pinned up against the wall? Shit I know my favorite part was when you rode my shit." He questioned followed by a laugh.

"What happened was a mistake and you know that. Just please leave and go home Reg."

"A mistake? Nah, a mistake is kissing then pulling away or going one round before finally realizing how bad you fucking up .. but we didn't do that. I leaned in to kiss you and you didn't stop me instead you met me half way and the rest well you know how it ended."

Cali felt tears threatening to fall the longer Reggie talked, she didn't want to remember what happened since she regretted it all and just wanted to dead it.

"But then you had that nigga show up on my doorstep to fight like the shit was all me, you foul for that Cali but shit I know why that nigga so crazy over you though. That between your legs is deadly, it'll have any nigga go stupid behind it."

"Reggie leave before I call the cops and I'm not playing." She threatened.

Chuckling to himself he nodded as he stepped back from the door way doing one last stare down before turning on his heels and walking away.

Closing the door Cali locked it then slid down to the floor and broke down into tears as flashbacks of her and Reggie filled her mind. It was so much she didn't tell Ahmad out of fear, but she knew she needed to come clean about everything soon.

          Back at Ahmad's place the kids where all in bed sound asleep just like he hoped for. He made sure to tire them out today so they could just take their baths and then go to sleep when they returned back home.

They did just about everything today, they went to the mall to shop, the zoo, the art museum for kids, ITZ then out to eat to end the day on a good note. They all worked every bit of his nerves today but he enjoyed every moment they spent together knowing that times like these would soon be over the older they get.

Straightening up his place, Shanice sat on the couch and flipped through netflix trying to find something for them to watch for the night while he continued to pick up toys and whatever else his kids left on the floor.

"Today was fun, I love your kids and Armoni watch her Ahmad that little girl is gonna be something else when she gets older but in a good way." She laughed.

Nodding his head, Ahmad agreed. "You ain't lying, she a character and already has so much personality. Whenever people meet her they just fall in love with her."

"I can see why, I wasn't expecting her to kill that Beyoncé song like that, she got up there and took over and it was like no one could compete with that because it was too adorable."

"Armoni is one of the young members in the beyhive and the barbs, that little girl will only listen to her or Nicki Minaj nothing else. I personally feel like her little ass gon' be a dancer or something since she loves music so much, but we'll let her decide on what she wants to do when she gets older." Ahmad stated and Shanice nodded her head liking the fact that they weren't gonna force her to do anything but except letting her choose.

Once he was finally done he took a seat beside her and let out a frustrated sigh catching her attention. "You good?"

He nodded then started removing his shoes. "Yeah just tired and thinking right now."

Turning her body more to face him, she stopped her search to find something and focused on him. "Thinking about what?"

"Just everything, I mean four months really flew by and I feel good about the person I am and who I am becoming as the days progress and I'm not gonna lie but at first I really felt like I needed Cali in order to be happy since she had helped me so much in the past. But I'm doing it on my own, I'm embracing the life God has given me and I love it." He expressed.

Smiling at his words, Shanice reached over and gave his hand a good squeeze. "I know it was hard, but you did it and I'm proud as fuck of you. You're on the journey to become your best self and its an amazing process to watch."

Nodding his head he glanced over at her and smiled, "Thank you Shanice, like for everything. You've been such a great friend and help to me over these past few months and I just really appreciate you."

"I appreciate your ugly self too."

When things got quiet again Shanice could tell something else was bothering him that he wasn't speaking on. All night he seemed a little off but she wasn't gonna pressure him into talking about it, but now she was becoming worried.

"So I guess I'm gonna have to force you to speak on what's really bothering you huh?"

Standing up he sighed, "The longer I'm apart from Cali the more I feel like I don't want to work things out and just continue what we doing and I feel bad for feeling this way."

"Well is your reasoning behind not wanting to work things out based on not forgiving her for what happened or what?"

"I forgive her, but I can't get over it. I love her no doubt but I don't look at her the same at all. This could be a temporary feeling, but as of now I don't want to be with her and I lowkey hate it for the sake of my kids."

Shanice nodded understanding what he meant. "My grandma always told me that marriage was never gonna be easy, it wasn't made to be. Being in a relationship comes with many ups and downs but the strong survive it, but she also stated cheating wasn't ruled in the books as a part of the ups and downs that couples have to deal with, so if you feel the need to walk away to make yourself happy then do it." Shanice expressed and Ahmad nodded taking her words into consideration.

"I hear you, but let's talk about something else please."

"Okay, well I actually got some tea to spill to you." She smirked once he snapped his neck in her direction.

"What?"

"So you know how my divorce finalized a few months ago right? Well, so ever since Dave, you and I went out that day we been talking or whatever just getting to know each other and all that good stuff. But yesterday he asked me out on a date and I'm kinda nervous since I really haven't been out with a guy on that kind of level since Bryson so I'm nervous." She admitted causing Ahmad to smile.

"I knew y'all was gonna hit it off that's why I invited him out with us, but Shan just be yourself. You cool as hell to be around and he will soon see that choosing to take you out and possibly pursue this further was good choice because you're amazing." Smiling at his words, she stood up and gave him a hug.

"Thanks big head, but will you help me go shopping for an outfit? You're a man so you know what will and won't catch a man's attention."

"Yeah, I gotchu but its also something I need to tell you as well." Pulling away she squinted her eyes at him.

"What is it?"

"While out at the gym I ran into this girl and we exchanged numbers and been texting for like a month or so .. nothing serious of course, I already told her my situation and she understood and expressed how she wasn't really looking for a relationship either. And Friday she wanted to go out for drinks to her friends grand opening of her poetry club she opened and I told her I would think about it. But I really don't know what to do." He sighed.

"I mean I would go but keep in mind that you're married even though you guys are legally separated and don't do anything that could possibly mislead her into thinking something more is going on. Going out and having a good time might be good for you, I feel you should go." She shrugged.

Nodding his head, he sighed. "Alright, well shit I guess I'm going then."

"What's her name and what does she look like by the way? I'm curious."

Pulling out his phone, he went to his camera roll and began searching for a photo of her. "Her name is Crystal and this is what she looks like." He said as he turned the phone around to show her.

"She's beautiful," Shanice complicated.

Ahmad nodded, "Yeah she is and she cool as hell and funny. Like when we text we don't even really be talking about anything just casual conversation and so when she invited me out I first was like yeah but then I thought about Cali and was like let me think about it."

"Well you already said you was having feelings of not working things out, maybe use this as a chance to step out and see if this is something you really wanna start doing which is getting back in the dating game and starting that process over again."

Taking what she said into consideration, he agreed to what she said. "Well I guess we both gotta go shopping for some outfits then."

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Thanks for the love & support as always!
- Denise💋