Dear John,

Describe your morning routine!

Dear SophieSanwogou ,

Step one of routine: Wake up and wonder why my cat decided to sleep on my face.

Step two: Disentangle myself from said cat, quite literally fall out of bed, wind up on the carpet and stare under my bed, thinking, Those are a lot of dust bunnies.

Step three: Get up from the floor and retrieve glasses from the nightstand.

Step four: Proceed to make my way to the kitchen where I will laze at the breakfast table for the next hour and a half before I finally get myself to make breakfast.

Step five: Eat breakfast while reading the newspaper and screaming, "WHAT KIND OF FAKE NEWS IS THIS?"

Step six: Take shower and sing "Gimme Some Truth" into the shower head.

Step seven: Get out of shower and stand in front of the mirror, flexing my muscles.

Step eight: Get ready, aka brushing my teeth while putting my clothes on and slipping on the wet bathroom floor.

Step nine: Scream for my cat to come and help me because I've "fallen and can't get up."

Step ten: Get up from floor without help from said cat, who ignored me.

And that's my routine!