When I said I'd rather be dead than take senior finals, this isn't what I meant.

When I said I hope the apocalypse happens so I don't have to celebrate another annoying Valentine's Day that was a joke.

When I said my classmates were mindless zombies, that was me being an asshole. It wasn't a challenge.

So middle finger up to you universe. I guess I can't be a sarcastic shit anymore or else the next thing I know, mutant donkeys are going to destroy the earth using their laser vision just because I decided to try and lighten the mood.

First you take my family. Then my sense of humor. What's next? My will to live?

Hah, I lost that a long ass time ago.

Oh you want to know more about how civilization was decimated? Luckily for you and unfortunately for me, I'm still here, so I can tell you the whole bloody mess before I die.

Picture this: an August day in California. The sweet salty smell of hot armpits and wildfires wafting through the air.

Two girls chilling on the floor of the living room. I glanced over at my friend Annie as she texted away.

"Mason again?"

She grinned like the lovesick sap she was. "Maybe... Oh Eri, he's just so cute when he's ranting about wildlife preservation."

I scrunched up my nose. "That's what he's texted you about? How romantic."

Annie rolled her eyes. "I think it's endearing. He wants to save the world! Isn't that adorable?"

"Ever since June you've said that about everything he's done. Personally I think he should be more worried about saving his grades. The entire world can wait. College applications can't." I shrugged, returning to my phone, a tab open to Harry Potter fan fiction.

Mason and Annie were my best friends and I was their third wheel. We'd been a trio ever since I moved to Lockewood Grove, California. I'd been only nine years old when my mother died. Their friendship was a great comfort. Unfortunately after years of their constant pining I was officially the spare tire. They were still stuck in their horrid honeymoon phase, but the summer tore the three of us into groups of two. Annie and Mason and Annie and I.

Mason had gotten a summer job at a wilderness information center, hoping to save the planet or whatever. Instead he mostly had to clean up liter and hand out pamphlets as he dealt with ignoring tourists. So Annie and I were a duo. That didn't mean that they weren't still keeping me on the sidelines.

So while we were supposed to be binging B-rated horror comedies my blonde bombshell of a bff was making kissy faces at her phone. I rolled my eyes again.

"Oh, Eri, don't be like that. Tease him in person when he can defend himself." Her brown eyes twinkled with humor.

"Is even future Mrs. Mason Williams getting sick of hearing about how climate change is going to bring about the end of the world? Oh no!" I shook my hands dramatically above my head. "The caterpillars!"

She blushed. "Maybe he's a little over enthusiastic, but it's better than apathy. He's right you know. We need more people to care about these serious issues."

I shrugged. "I do care. But I don't think the purple spotted centipede is gonna be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Or saves ecosystem or whatever."

"Blue speckled caterpillar, Eri. You know this."

I did. Of course I did. Those Blue Speckled Caterpillars were Mason's favorite thing to discuss. How they had special insect abilities, like appearing dead for days and still able to resurrect or how they were quickly going extinct due to their bodies being able to produce a life saving chemical that allowed organs to last longer on ice. I knew this because Mason had made us watch a seminar on it back in April and constantly reminded us of these "fascinating" factoids.

"You'll understand when you get a boyfriend. Everything he does will seem perfect in your eyes and not good enough in mine." She sighed as she tapped three heart icons and a smiley face to Mason. I peered back at my own phone as I got an incoming call.

I snorted at her comment. "Fat chance. There are only two boys I need to care about." I accepted the call.

Incoming call from: Jakey Jay.

"What's up, kiddo? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Jake Jonah Wheeler was my little brother- currently fourteen. Better known as Jakey Jay to his older sister hellbent on embarrassing him. For the record it didn't work. He loves the nickname.

It was nearly eleven in Montana, where he was staying with our uncles, Freddie and Johnny. Dad thought the fresh air and strong role models would be good for him, but we'd be sharing words if I found out Jake's bed time had been scrapped.

"Erica, did you see the news?"

I yawned. "What did the president do this time-"

"No! It's not stupid politics. Erica, turn on the tv!" He barked from the other line.

I rolled my eyes, digging the remote from the couch cushions with one hand, the phone cradled against my shoulder and ear. Annie giggled, presumably at Mason's text in the background.

On the screen flashed mass terror as cannibals made from rotting flesh devoured their prey- humans. I yawned.

"Turn to channel thirty-three!"

It was already on channel thirty-three.

"Jake, it's too late to be watching horror movies." I scolded.

"It's the news, Erica! I swear! Get Dad. You gotta tell Dad!"

Ugh little brothers.

"I love you, Jake, but don't you think you're a little old for-"

"For what, Erica? For being afraid? Just go get Dad."

I sighed. Jake and I had the same stubborn blood. Genuine terror clung to his voice. If it would calm him down I'd save my teasing for later.

"Dad, Jake wants to talk to you." I handed the phone over to my dad.

"Tell him about the zombies!" The phone barked.

Dad pressed it to his ear. I didn't look like my dad much. Shared a small nose and our evergreen eyes but otherwise there wasn't much of a family resemblance. He had light brown hair, like Jake, but with streaks of gray. He also wore square glasses, always preached perfectly upon the bridge of his nose.

"Uh huh... Zombies you say? Are you sure? ...Fine I'll check." He pressed my cellphone to his chest.

"Jake says there's been a 'zombie outbreak in California.' What is he talking about?"

I shrugged. "He was watching horror movies at eleven."

"There are real zombies, Dad!" Jake hissed through the receiver. "Fine, don't believe me!"

"Jake-"

He hung up on Dad.

"He'll call back." I placed a hand on my dad's shoulder, smiling weakly.

Dad gave a weak smile back, but it was clear in his evergreen eyes that Jake's goodbye had shook him.

"Erica, Mason just sent me the cutest picture! Get your butt over here!" My best friend giggled from the other room.

"Sorry, Dad, gotta babysit Annie. He'll call back once he realizes everything is okay." I raced off to be the normal teen I was supposed to be.

Everything was not okay.

Sure the next hour was okay. Annie and I laughed as we watched Ghostbusters and ate only the finest of junk food: Twinkies.

But our laughter halted rather abruptly.

"Dammit, Eri, my phone is at twelve percent. Can I use your charger?" Annie groaned.

Something caught my ear. An odd noise. Something was outside.

The street I lived on normally wasn't terribly busy. This late at night nothing typically would stir.

"Erica, did you hear me?"

I slowly reached for the remote, ignoring Annie as I lowered the volume on the television. I crept towards the door.

Incoherent groans came from outside.

"Huh? Yeah sure." I muttered, not aware of whatever I was agreeing to.

What drunk asshole was aggressively incoherently incompetent right now?

My hand reached out towards the door knob, until I realized how stupid of me that would be. I yanked the curtains out of the way, peering out of the window.

I leapt back with a yelp.

Dude was fugly.

A man, or what used to be a man, lurked outside the window. Skin gray and moldy like ancient bread, sweat pooling on his forehead. Clammier than an oyster. His left eyes was missing, along with a chunk of his face. All that remained there was rotting, exposed meat. Black blood dripped from his mouth.

He threw himself against the window upon spotting me. I shrieked.

The window cracked.

"Erica, what the hell is that?" Annie screeched, leaping from the couch.

"I don't know!" My eyes darted around the room looking for something to protect us. I grabbed Jake's old baseball bat.

"What do we do? Omg what do we do?" Annie whimpered.

"We don't panic!" I said, shivering worse than someone caught in the Atlantic Ocean. "We'll be fine."

Dear dream weaver or whatever sadistic bastard was doing this, please wake me up now? Preferably before I become zombie chow?

I didn't wake up.

My dad rushed from the other room, just in time to see the zombie lunge at the window a second time.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Jake was right! Dad, help!" Was the most I could say. I held my bat out defensively in front of me, Annie quivering behind me.

"Hold on, kiddo." He dashed into his room.

He re-emerged, holding a small pistol. "There's another rifle in the safe. Get it, get out of here. I'll follow you, kiddo."

Tears streamed down my face. My heart pounded at a thousand beats per minute.

"Dad!" I cried.

He shot at the creature. "Erica, that was an order."

Annie dragged me to my dad's room. His safe sat in the back of the closet. I prayed I had the right code. My father had told me once, but had grown fearful of this knowledge when I'd gone through a rough patch my junior year of high school. I prayed he hadn't changed it. My hands shook as I entered the code.

The safe swung open. I grabbed his rifle.

A crash sounded from the living room. I tossed the bat to Annie. My heart raced as did I.

A pair of broken square glasses rested upon the floor. A bloody print stained itself on the cracked lens.

My dad's body laid limp across the floor. His glasses no longer rested across the bridge of his nose. His eyes grayed glassy, staring lifelessly up at the ceiling. He saw nothing. Red and black blood painted his face. The creature was inside now. He ripped at my father's throat, pulling cords out with his teeth, cords that were meant to stay inside his body.

I covered my mouth to stifle a scream, tears streaking my face.

No... No, no, no, this wasn't happening! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up.

Even then I didn't.

The creature ripped him to pieces, destroying his throat and chest.

My hand shook. Hasty bullets shot from the gun. Blood and bits of brain exploded out the back of its head.

The zombie collapsed.

Yup I called it a zombie. I'm not screwing around with other terms. I was resigned to my fate.

We were in the zombie apocalypse now.

My lips trembled as tears started rolling down my cheeks.

My dad stirred.

Annie crept up behind me. She quietly set down her bat.

A bloodied hand grabbed my ankle.

I held the gun.

I pulled the trigger.

I froze.

Annie squeezed my finger. Annie made the decision. Annie saved my life.

A bullet pierced his head. Infected, now dead.

I had shot my dad. Or what used to be my dad.

The next thing I knew I was breaking down into heavy sobs in Annie's cherry red convertible. The world moved in a blur while leaving me stuck in time.

The bullet. The gun. His glassy eyes. My ankle. The bullet. The gun.

Annie.

I don't know how long it took for me to calm down just to deal with what happened next, but what I did know was Annie kept driving.

When I ran out of tears to cry, she pulled over.

"I'm so sorry, Eri. I'm so sorry." She pulled me into a hug. Her mascara ran and stained my shirt.

We sat there embracing as if it weren't the end of the world.

Until her phone beeped.

Yet again we were interrupted by Mason.

"He's alive." Annie wiped her make up, smudging it. "He's alive."

A broken record, scratching repeatedly. Neither of us could think of more to say.

"He's alive." I breathed. Mason was alive.

Dad was not.

Jake has to be.

In that single moment the next month had been decided for both of us.

Two roads diverged, while we drove on. A single car.