Warning this chapter mentions sex.

Ana

***

I'm running down the hallway to Pedro's apartment, my heart fluttering wildly against my chest. I need to see him.

Now.

I knock frantically on Pedro's front door and a few seconds later, Pedro is opening it up and grabs me by the arm, tugging me inside. I slam the door shut and  Pedro wraps his arms around me, kissing me passionately. I return the urgent, frantic kisses, as Pedro's hands trail down my body.

I suddenly jerk backwards, feeling foolish and angry. I can't understand why I'm doing this. Is it because I've missed Pedro or is it simply lust? Pedro's gaze grows concerned as his fingers graze my cheek.

"What's wrong, mi amor?" I don't reply. I need a minute to think, without Pedro pressing me. I absently touch my hair. My mind is spinning and spinning.

"Ana?"

"I'm thinking. Just let me think." Pedro sighs but doesn't continue. I turn my head, studying a spot on the wall.

"It's not that anything is wrong," I say quietly. "It's more just that I'm...scared."

"Of me?" I shake my head vigorously.

"No. More like, of us."

"We don't have to do anything." Pedro steps closer but I'm feeling penned in and I need space.

"Pedro, do you really think this is right?"

"What part?" Pedro sounds a little gruff but I think it's only because he's worried about my welfare. "Us being together again? Or just in general?"

"All of that." I look into his eyes. The sensation to cry is growing stronger. Yet I don't want to cry. Not really.

"Ana, I know I've made mistakes about us. That doesn't mean I don't still love and care about you."

"I feel like we're rushing too much. We've hardly been together since we broke up. And this, what we're doing now, it doesn't seem too serious."

"Does it have to be serious for you to want it?"

Maybe.

"I..don't know. Oh, Pedro." I move into his arms and Pedro gently wraps his arms around me. I close my eyes, breathing in his scent of mint and nicotine. It's so comforting and familiar.

Pedro presses his lips to my forehead and the tiny hairs from his mustache tickle against my bare skin.

"Again we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, mi amor." I immediately stiffen and step away from Pedro. He looks so..vulnerable.

"That's just it," I explode. "I don't know if I'm comfortable with much of anything in regards to...us."

"Ana." I turn away, my gaze studying the same spot on the wall of Pedro's apartment. I don't know what to do. I want Pedro and the same time, I'm not sure that I do. These conflicting emotions are wearing me down.

"I'm going to need some time to sort this all out." I head for the front door. I think Pedro will stop me. He doesn't.

Is he that worried about offending or frightening me?

"I understand." I turn my head, smiling at Pedro. He still looks so vulnerable. I have to stay strong.

"I'll be in touch," I tell Pedro. He nods. I open the door and walk out. I swear, I can feel my heart breaking as I head outside.

***
"What you're feeling is normal." I'm sprawled out on my couch as Isla sits on the floor, trying to reason with me.

"Is it?" I shift around, struggling to a sitting position and Isla gets up from the floor and joins me.

"Pedro is your ex," Isla begins. "Of course you're going to have mixed feelings about him."

"Yes. But he was a good ex. He wasn't psycho like Kellan. We were good together." I sigh. "Or so I thought."

"He dumped you, without a good cause. You have concerns and doubts. There's nothing wrong with you."

"I never thought there was something wrong with me."

"Oh yeah?" Isla raises her eyebrows. You're such a damn liar! Whenever we have this discussion, that's how it sounds to me."

"Why else would Pedro break up with me?" I demand. "Unless it was because of me."

"Pedro broke up with you, Ana, because he had some unresolved issues. You aren't the reason."

I ponder that. Truthfully, I never really thought it was because of something going on with Pedro. Pedro is perfect. He's everything I could want in a partner. Especially since he refused to tell me the truth. I figured he was afraid of hurting my feelings.

"I'm still not sure that's it," I murmur.

"Would you stop seeing yourself through that asshole Kellan's eyes?" Isla snaps impatiently. "You're not the problem."

"If I'm not the problem," I argue. "Then how come Pedro refuses to tell me the damn truth?"

"Um, hello?" Isla gives me a Look. "Because he's a man. And men never like to admit their shortcomings."

I start picking at the fuzz on my yoga pants, thinking hard. Is Isla right? Is the reason Pedro never told me the truth was because of his damn male ego?

"I don't know." I close my eyes. If I try hard enough, I can still imagine Pedro's scent. I remember how safe I felt, being near him. Pedro just has that affect on me.

"Chica, you gotta listen to me: Pedro is the one with issues. Not you."

"Can we change the subject?" Talking about Pedro is making me feel depressed.

"You shouldn't be avoiding the obvious, Ana," Isla gently scolds. "You're going to have to make a decision. Either you want to make it work between you and Pedro or let him go."

"Would you stop pressuring me?" I groan. "It's not helpful."

Isla slides closer, wrapping her arms around me. I immediately lean into her. Being like this with Isla is comforting as well. I guess that's because we're so close.

"I know you'll do the right thing," Isla murmurs.

"How can I do the right thing if I don't even know what that is?"

"Oh, sweetie." Isla hugs me. "You'll figure out that when the time comes because you'll just know what's right."

***
I don't contact Pedro for two days. He has contacted me, but I meant what I said when I told him I needed some space. I feel kinda bad about that, but I know it's the right decision.

I'm confused and uncertain about if this is something I'm ready to pursue or if it's just something that will end poorly. I'm afraid. Afraid that if I allow myself to love Pedro again, I'll never recover. I can't put myself through that emotion hell again. I just can't.

If it was that difficult the first time around, I can only imagine how much worse it'd be the second time around. I don't think my heart can withstand the pain. And maybe I'm being stupid allowing my past trauma to dictate how I handle this situation, but it's what I'll do because I have to.

Regardless of how Pedro feels about it.

***
Several years ago:

"Mi amor, are you coming?" Pedro sounds impatient and I just smile to myself. As lazy as he can be, if there's something he's really interested in, he'll get going quickly enough.

I come out of the bedroom, and grab my stuff before sauntering over to Pedro, purposely wiggling my hips. His gaze drops and he kicks his lips. I go to him, touching his face and Pedro smiles softly.

"I'm ready, Pedrito." I give him a quick kiss and Pedro gently takes my hand as we exit the apartment and head downstairs, heading for the movie theater.

Pedro is such a movie buff. He's always telling me about how his parents would take him to the movies when he was growing up and all the fond memories he has of those days.

We reach the movie theater and go inside, getting in line for the tickets and then getting some snacks. Pedro orders a humongous bucket of popcorn and I shake my head.

"What?" Pedro says a little defensively. "I happen to enjoy my popcorn."

"I didn't say a word," I tease him as we head inside the movie theater room and find ourselves some seats. Once we're comfortable, I snuggle against Pedro, who slips an arm around me.

I start trailing my fingers along Pedro's chest, making him squirm in his seat, releasing a frustrated groan.

"Would you please stop?" Pedro moans, stuffing his face with that greasy, artery clogging shit he calls popcorn.

"Maybe I don't want to?" I yank the bucket of popcorn out of Pedro's hands, making him protest.

"Hey!" Pedro strains to snatch the bucket back but I hold it just out of his reach. He scowls, flipping me off and I start to giggle helplessly and Pedro is able to grab the popcorn back.

"You're a cruel, cruel person, Ana Delgado," Pedro growls softly in my ear. I'm still giggling and can't seem to stop.

"I..I..I'm sorry, my Pedro," I gasp out, struggling to regain my composure. He shakes his head but he's smiling now. He gently takes my hand, drawing me closer to his body. I immediately settle down, cuddling close to him.

Pedro kisses the top of my head and I recoil from him in mock horror. Brushing my fingers over my hair, hoping none of that popcorn butter is in it.

"Ewww!" I squeal. "Don't! I don't want that gross fake butter substitute in my hair!"

Pedro starts laughing until his face is red and his eyes are filled with tears. I smack his arm and he laughs harder.

"We're a pair, aren't we?" I lean against Pedro and he winks at me. He kisses me and it's intoxicating. Gross fake butter substitute and all.

"Yes, mi amor. We certainly are."

***

"Oh, oh, oh!" Pedro is pounding hard into me as I rise up to meet him. My breath is ragged and my brow is drenched with sweat. Pedro looks just as sweaty, his face red.

"How's...that, chica?"

"Oh, Pedro! It's...perfect." Pedro thrusts one last time and collapses against the bed, gently kissing me. I cling to him. Feeling his strong, solid body against mine.

"Eating all that popcorn made me work up an appetite." Pedro's tangling his fingers in my loose hair. I kiss the tip of his nose and he grins, those dangerous dimples digging into his cheeks.

"I'm shocked you could even get anything on after eating that shit!"

"You ate some, too!" Pedro argues. I chuckle, curling my hand around his waist.

"You forced me to," I murmur.

"How so?" Pedro is kissing my collarbone and I close my eyes. The feeling of Pedro's sexy lips on me always drives me wild.

"I had to save you from eating that crap so it wouldn't kill you." Pedro laughs as I roll on my side, pressing my body into his.

"I appreciate that, mi amor." Pedro kisses me again and I smile, tucking my head beneath his chin and slowly dozing off.

"I love you so damn much, Ana," Pedro murmurs as I drift off to sleep.

"I love you, too," I murmur. "Promise you'll never leave me?"

"I promise, mi amor."

***

I'm calling Pedro. My heart is pounding in my chest as I listen to the phone ringing, hoping that Pedro won't answer and I can just leave a voicemail.

Unfortunately I don't get my wish.

"Ana." Just hearing Pedro's voice nearly undoes me. I clear my throat awkwardly.

"Hey. Can we meet somewhere public to talk?" I ask.

"Of course. Just name the place and time."

"Freddie's bar and grill, downtown, on fiftieth Street. Tomorrow at six thirty?"

"I can make that." Neither of us say anything else. I can tell Pedro hasn't hung up, though, from the faint sound of light breathing.

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow," I say stiffly.

"Yes, chica. I'll see you there." We say goodbye and I hang up, and discover I'm trembling. I set my phone aside, wondering if I'm making the right decision. Isla says I'll know if it's the right decision. I, on the other hand, am not as certain."

***

A/N: I wanted to give a shout out to juanito-frio who's been a big supporter of me for several months. Please go check out their book if you love adventure and fantasy.  It's amazing (: