#DS6Unwavering #CirCoal #SharkFamily #DaggerSeries

A/N: Wala pong Friday update. This is for Friday kaya dalawa :)

CHAPTER TEN: STAGE

CIRCE'S POV

Nag-angat ako ng mga mata mula sa laptop ko nang marinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan. The knot on my forehead straightened when I saw Coal enter the house while pushing Kaise's stroller.

I was about to cook our lunch, which is chicken and mushroom with bok choy curry, when I realized that I ran out of curry powder. Coal volunteered to buy it for me, kaya lang ayaw magpaiwan ni Kaise kaya sinama niya na. They look adorable. They're even wearing same-colored shirts.

"Kaya naman pala ang tagal niyo," sabi ko nang makita ko ang mga dala nila.

I don't think one pack of curry powder will need two paper bags of groceries. May hawak pa si Kaise na malit na plastic na bote ng toyo na inaalog-alog niya.

Coal smiled sheepishly. "I got carried away."

I tapped Kaise's nose, and she giggled in response. "Let me guess. Binili mo lahat ng kinuha niya?"

Pagkamot lang sa ulo ang naging sagot niya. Napapailing na inilabas ko ang laman ng inilapag niya na paper bag sa harapan ko. May tomato sauce at pasta pa. Konti na lang pwede na kaming mag-Spaghetti.

"This one I bought for you." Coal pulled out what looked like a kraft paper tub container from the paper bag he was still holding. At a glance, I thought they were ice cream. "Locally made na chocolate and chips daw. They call them Messy Cookies. No'ng makita ko naalala kita." He almost looked shy when he took out two more tubs from the bag. "Not the messy part. Alam ko lang kasi a paborito mo ang cookies."

A "wow" escaped from my lips as I looked at the tubs. Iisa lang ang nakakatalo pagdating sa chocolate chips sa buhay ko at surfing iyon.

There was this one time in an interview that I was asked what I would choose between chocolate and sex, and I immediately answered chocolate. I told them it's because chocolate chips are my addiction, and if there's one thing that can beat it, it wouldn't be sex, but instead it would be surfing. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung iyon pa rin ang magagawa kong isagot ngayon. That night with Coal proved that there's something greater than chocolate chips.

"I'll give it to you if you say I do."

Nanlalaki ang mga mata na inalis ko ang tingin ko sa mga tub at nag-angat ako ng mukha kay Coal. "Wha... what?"

"I'm kidding." Kumikislap sa kapilyuhan ang mga mata na iniharap niya sa akin ang lalagyan kung saan kita ang logo no'n. "I Dough. It's their brand name."

He's going to give me a heart disorder.

"Want to try one?" he asked.

Isinantabi ko ang pag-iingay ng dibdib ko at binigyan ko siya ng ngiti. "Tinatanong pa ba 'yan?"

He opened one of the tubs, and he grabbed a spoon before he handed it to me. I let out an involuntary sigh as I looked at the piece of heaven in front of me. Love and hunger must have been visible in my eyes because I heard Coal's quiet chuckle.

"I wish you would look at me like that too." I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly since I was busy shoving a bite in my mouth. I tilted my head to the side in question, but he just shook his head. "Nothing."

"This is the best," namumualan ang bibig na sabi ko. "I think this is my new favorite."

"Let's buy more."

Sunod-sunod na tumango ako dahilan para lalong lumawak ang ngiti sa mga labi niya. He looks highly amused.

Pagkaraan ay pilit na pinatigil ko ang sarili ko sa pagkain habang si Coal naman ay binaba si Kaise sa naka set up ang collapsible niya na playpen sa sala. Nang muli siyang lumapit sa akin ay nakita kong nakatingin siya sa nakabukas kong laptop.

"Magkausap kayo ni Tala?" tanong niya.

"Nope. I was checking some emails. Tambak na kasi at natatabunan iyong mga importante ng mga spam messages." Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko nang maalala ko ang binabasa ko kanina. "Weird messages too mula sa mga taong walang magawa apparently."

"Want me to check them out?"

"Nah. Harmless naman. Marami lang talaga ang mga kinulang sa aruga sa mundo."

"It's better to make sure."

Magtataka na sana ako sa bigla niyang pagseseryoso nang maalala ko ang trabaho niya. "I'll show you later pagkatapos nating mag-lunch. But just to warn you, most of them were just dick pics."

Napakurap siya. "A what?"

"Dick pics." I scoffed. "More of a worm picture to be honest."

Napaubo siya para ikubli ang tawa niya. Sa totoo naman eh. Sobrang layo... sa "monster" niya. It's kind of an apt name for it when his... thing, haunted my dreams for years.

"Do you want to help?" tanong niya pagkaraan nang magsimula akong mag-ayos ng mga kakailanganin ko.

I shrugged. "If you like to."

Ibinigay ko sa kaniya ang sibuyas at bawang bago ako lumapit sa malaking refrigerator para kunin ang manok at fresh mushrooms. Nang muli kong balikan si Coal na nasa center island ay naabutan ko siya na kasalukuyan ng naghihiwa ng sibuyas.

Napaangat ang kilay ko habang pinapanood siya. He has a technique for dicing it, and he doesn't look like he's about to cry, which usually happens to me. Kaya nga sa lahat ng ayaw ko ay ang naghihiwa ng sibuyas.

Kumuha ako ng panibagong sangkalan at sinimulan kong hiwain ang mushrooms. "You know how to cook?"

"Hindi magaling pero marunong. Lahat kaming magkakapatid maagang tinuruan ng mga magulang namin na magluto. Hindi pwedeng hindi kami tutulong sa kusina."

"Most men will look for a woman who knows her way in the kitchen instead."

"Katwiran din namin 'yan dati pero sermon ang inabot namin. Hindi nga naman kasi trabaho lang ng babae ang pagluluto. She said that she didn't raise us by feeding us as babies, teaching us how to walk and talk, and making us study in prestigious schools, only for us to return to being children by waiting on another person to give us food when we're adults and not toddlers anymore."

"She sounds like a great mom."

"She was." He gave me a smile. "The very best."

Naging abala kami sa pag-prepare ng ingredients. Coal was good with small talks, so we didn't get too silent.

I can't say that there weren't awkward moments. Especially with the small kitchen, we couldn't help when our arms would graze accidentally or when I would move and bump into him. Each time that it would happen, I would feel this familiar heat that he could only make me feel.

"So your friends. Saan mo sila nakilala?" tanong ni Coal.

I finally got the chance to introduce Nika and Alina to him. Napadaan kasi kami ni Coal sa coffee shop ni Levi at saktong nandoon din sila. Julie is busy with work, and Corine and Rebecca are currently island hopping.

"Sa yoga session ni Ashton. That's why we call ourselves the Yogi Babes. Mas nauna kong nakilala sina Nika, Julie, at Aline. Corine was the newest addition, then she introduced us to her friend Rebecca."

"Iyong gusto mo sanang bisitahin sa Manila?"

"Yup. That's Corine and Rebecca. Reb has a studio in Manila. Kaya baka kapag lumuwas kami ni Kaise, bisitahin ko sila."

Coal and I agreed to alternate our stays here in Siargao and at his house in Batangas. Tutal may competition din ako na nalalapit sa La Union. Kaya pag natapos ang dalawang linggo niya, kesa babalik pa siya rito ay kami na ni Kaise ang pupunta sa kaniya.

He'll be leaving soon.

I continued my story while trying to ignore the light ache in my chest. "Nahila lang din ako ni Tala no'ng una. Mapanlinlang nga lang ang classes ni Ashton. You'll think at first you're just going to relax at the beach while having an instructor that looks great as the view, then you'll realize that his sessions are like subjecting yourself to some kind of a high-intensity workout."

Naramdaman ko ang pagtigil niya sa paghihiwa pero hindi ko pa mapapansin na nasa akin na pala ang buong atensyon niya kung hindi pa ako humarap sa kaniya para sana kunin ang pinaglalagyan niya ng mga hiniwa niya.

"Bakit?" tanong ko nang nanatili lang siyang nakatingin sa akin.

"You like him?"

"Ha?"

"The instructor. You said that he looks great."

"Well... yeah."

Kinuha ko ang malaki ang plato na nasa harapan niya at inilagay ko sa isang tabi ang mga mushroom.

Tumiim ang bagang niya at nagtatakang ibinaba ko ang hawak. He looks angry. "Are you okay?"

"Did you ever want to date him?"

I blinked. "What? Why would I want that?"

"You said you like him."

Pinaikot ko ang mga mata ko. "Iyon na ba ang requirement para i-date ang isang tao? I like your brothers. Should I date them?"

"They're married."

"Domino's not."

I always feel like there's a part of Coal that he rarely lets me see. Like the first time we met and that asshole at the bar tried to grab me. It's like there's a fire hidden behind his eyes sleeping... waiting for the right moment when it can flare up freely. Its flame could be vicious, but for some reason... I know that I'm safe from it. That he wouldn't let it hurt me.

Katulad ngayon. I can sense his anger, but I know it's not directed at me.

"I don't want to date, Ashton."

"But—"

"When I had Kaise and I adjusted to parenthood, I tried to go back to dating. Gusto ko lang subukan. At that time, I liked this person, and I thought that I should try with him. I even went out with him a few times—" I was about to touch his arm, but I hesitated. "Okay ka lang ba talaga?"

"I'm fine," he said in a quiet voice. Nang makita niya akong nakatingin pa rin sa kaniya ay pilit na nginitian niya ako. "I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with you liking and dating someone else. You were single."

"I am still single."

"Not for long," he mumbled so quietly that I wasn't sure if I heard him right.

"What?"

Umiling lang siya bilang sagot bago muli niyang binuksan ang pinag-uusapan namin kanina. "So Ashton and the person you dated?"

I wanted to ask him more about what he whispered, but I decided not to push. "I realized that liking someone is not enough to keep a relationship going. It needed to be more. I could like a hundred men, and it wouldn't make a difference." Binuksan ko ang ilalim ng center island at kinuha ko ang skillet mula roon. "Aston is nice to look at, but I don't like him that way. Mas gusto siya para kay Tala."

"What kind of more?" he asked, focusing on the first part of what I said.

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "I'm not really sure. I just feel like it shouldn't be just that. It shouldn't be encompassed by that one word alone. Kapag tinanong ako kung bakit siya ang pinili ko na makasama, ayoko na ang sagot ko lang "Kasi gusto ko siya". It should be more." Bumuntong-hininga ako. "Ewan ko ba. Ang hirap ipaliwanag."

"Then let's try it this way. Imagine that you want to be with someone, and I ask you, why him? What would your answer be?"

Ilang sandaling hindi ako nakasagot. I bit my lower lip, and I saw how his eyes followed the movement. "Because he's the first thought I have when I wake up. He's the first one I think of when I need someone. And he's the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep." Mahinang napatawa ako. "Corny, right?"

"No," he answered softly. "Not at all."

"It's a moot point anyway. I gave up on dating a long time ago. With training and Kaise, I already have my hands full."

"So you're not interested in dating anymore?"

"Nope."

"Okay."

Pinigilan ko ang pagtaas ng kilay ko sa mabilis niya na pagsang-ayon. Bakit parang hindi mo gusto ang sagot niya, girl?

I wrap an imaginary tape around my conscience's mouth to shut it up.

Hindi naman sa umaasa ako sa kahit ano. But with the way he reacted awhile ago with Ashton and when I told him I was dating, was it really weird to think that he would have reacted more than just "okay"?

"Bakit pa kailangan ng dating?"

"Ha?" takang tanong ko.

His smile, which is becoming more familiar to me, the one that he always uses when he's about to say something that will fluster me, colored his lips. "Bakit kailangan pang dumaan sa dating stage kung pwede namang sa marrying stage na agad?"

NAPATINGIN ako sa pintuan nang kuwarto nang marinig ko ang maingat na pagbukas no'n at ang pagkaraan na pagsungaw ni Coal. I gave him a tired smile while I patted Kaise's back gently.

Nakaupo ako sa rocking chair at nakadapa sa ibabaw ko si Kaise na patuloy pa rin sa pag-ingit. It's past eleven o'clock. Kanina pa niya nalagpasan ang oras niya sa pagtulog. It's rare, but there are times when she really finds it hard to fall asleep.

"Gusto mong ako na ang magpatulog sa kaniya? You need to sleep too," mungkahi niya nang pumasok siya sa loob ng kuwarto.

"Hindi rin ako makakatulog." I sighed and stood up, taking Kaise with me. "Can you hand me that wrap? 'Yung kulay blue na nakasabit sa likod ng pinto."

Kaagad naman sa aking binigay ni Coal ang pinapaabot ko. "I'll take her outside. Minsan kapag hindi siya makatulog ay naglalakad-lakad muna kami sa labas."

"It's late at night." When my exhausted eyes met his, his face turned gentle. "I'll come with you."

Dahil alam kong hindi ko naman siya mapipigilan at wala na rin talaga akong energy na pigilan siya kung sakaling iyon ang gusto ko ay tumango na lang ako. "Hold her for a second."

I gave myself a stretch to stretch my back when I managed to transfer Kaise to him. Kanina pa ako nakaupo at nagsisimula na rin talagang sumakit ang likod ko.

Napapitlag ako nang maramdaman ko ang pagdiin ng kamay ni Coal sa likod ko. He looks worried as he tries to alleviate my discomfort. "I'll carry her for you. Kung hindi pa rin siya makakatulog, ibabalik ko siya sa'yo. But for now, I'll be your substitute."

"What is this? Basketball?" nangingiting tanong ko.

"We're a team, aren't we? Team CirCoal." The corners of his eyes crinkled as he watched me laugh. "Si Lucienne ang nakaisip niyan. Pinagtatalunan nila sa group chat kasi ang gusto ni Trace CorCe, pronounced as"coarse"."

"Bakit CorCe?"

"Para on brand daw. Bagay daw sa akin tutal wala akong puso, pasok na rin ang maspang na ugali ko."

"Are we talking about the same person?" Malayo sa sinasabi niya ang nakikita ko sa kaniya. He's nothing but gentle when it comes to me and Kaise. "You're a softy, Coal Dawson."

"Only to you."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just shook my head. Humakbang ako palapit sa kaniya para ibalot sa kaniya at kay Kaise ang wrap.

"Gusto nilang i-add ka sa group chat. Sabi ko sa kanila tatanungin muna kita," sabi niya pagkaraan.

Kinailangan kong tumingkayad para maiayos ko ang magkabilang dulo ng wrap sa balikat niya. If not for our daughter between us, it would look like I was hugging him. "Okay lang naman kung okay lang din sa'yo."

"Of course I want you there. Para naman may nagtatanggol din sa akin."

I chuckled as I pulled the wrap tight. Bahagya siyang napayuko at sandaling natigilan ako nang mag-angat ako ng mga mata sa kaniya at nakita ko kung gaano kalapit ang mga mukha namin sa isa't isa.

I stepped back a little, and I continued securing the wrap around them. Nang matiyak ko na okay na ay binigyan ko siya ng maliit na ngiti. "All set."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he just nodded. Tahimik na lumabas kami ng kuwarto. We crossed the living room and went outside the house, and we were greeted by the gentle ocean breeze.

Silence stretched between us, but it wasn't an awkward one. Binaybay namin ang dalampasigan. May mga pangilan-ngilan pa na tao pero kapag ganitong oras talaga ay halos lahat nagpapahinga na.

With the moon acting as our source of light, and we can smell the ocean, hear the crashing of waves, and feel the sand on our feet... it was quite relaxing, and despite the exhaustion I was feeling earlier, I found myself enjoying the walk.

Hindi nagtagal ay tuluyan ng natahimik ang paminsan-minsan ay pag-ingit pa rin ni Kaise. Pagkaraan din ay nakasubsob na siya sa leeg ni Coal habang lumilikha ng maliit na tunog. A sound that she often makes when she's deep in her sleep.

"Let's head back?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Gusto mong ako naman?"

To my surprise, he reached for my hand and enveloped it in his. "I got her."

I tried my best to ignore my heart, which was beating loudly inside my chest. I sneaked a glance at him, worried that he might hear it.

Nang magawa naming makabalik ng bahay ay kaagad kaming dumiretso sa kuwarto ni Kaise. Tinulungan ko siya na alisin ang wrap at pagkatapos ay maingat na ibinaba niya ang bata sa crib.

"Sometimes, I really still can't believe that I have a daughter," Coal murmured as he watched her sleep. "I can't believe how different life could be now that I have her."

"Different how?"

Sinalubong niya ang mga mata ko na para bang alam niya ang pangamba sa likod ng tanong ko. Fear that he might be regretting being in her life... in our lives.

"Like I would do anything not to have the life I had before. One that doesn't have you both in it," he whispered.

My lips parted, but no words came out. Not because I couldn't find the right word to say, but because there's no way I could have when his lips crossed the distance between us and claimed mine.

With our history, anyone would have thought that I was easy. After all, I slept with Coal the first night I met him. But the truth is... I never been this way with anyone else.

Coal has a way to shatter my inhibitions and destroy my defenses. He's like a great current that can easily sweep me under, and instead of fighting... throwing all reason and fear aside, I find myself surrendering to it.

It's like the small questions that are sometimes whispering behind my brain have finally settled down in contentment. Questions that form because of the way he often says words that confuse me, moments that I feel like he's trying to reign in what seems to be jealousy, and those times that I can feel the air change when I catch him looking at me.

This is where he stands, and this is the answer that I needed to realize. That we want something that we're both trying not to define... or at least not yet. But nonetheless, we want it still.

A groan sounded from him at the same time that he cupped the back of my head to deepen the kiss. His tongue swirled inside my mouth, pairing and clashing with mine. I returned it to him without a fight... surrending... yielding to the demand of his hungry kiss.

Nang maghiwalay ang mga labi namin ay marahang isinandal niya ang noo niya sa akin habang parehas namin na habol ang mga hininga namin. "I hope this is enough for me to be in your mind before you sleep and the first thought that you will have tomorrow when morning comes," he whispered against my lips.

"W-What?"

He traced my thoroughly kissed lips with his thumb. "So what's left is for me to work on being the first thing in your mind when you needed someone."

My eyes widened, and the fog lifted when I realized what he was talking about. I couldn't help but remember what he said to me during that conversation.

"Bakit kailangan pang dumaan sa dating stage kung pwede namang sa marrying stage na agad?"

______________________________End of Chapter 10.