Carino,

I promise I won't get sentimental today. Cross my heart and kiss my elbow!

I still paint, but I'm not that good at it, as you might think. I lack the time and willpower to finish any painting, so there are at least three canvases of unfinished landscapes in my bedroom. Yeah, I don't have my own studio, but that was a given since I came back home.

I feel I'd rather sit down with you and tell you all of this, though the writing is the next best thing I could think of to talk with you.

When together, we had a plan. I was supposed to be an art teacher. You were supposed to turn Andy's and your company into a real deal. We were supposed to make Duke the next champion and have lots of his offspring running around our home. It felt so natural and easy back then. That plan.

With you, everything felt easy, and I was braver than I could have ever imagined I could be. Your lone presence made me think I could do anything, that I could pull off anything, become who I truly wanted to be and go wherever I felt like being. All because I knew you'd always be there for me, you'd always have my back. You and I, thicker than thieves, always there to catch one another.

I miss that too.

Now I'm a coward, you know?

No, don't shake your head. I am. I'm not an artist anymore. I don't update my sketchbook, write and hardly ever paint. Even though I'm about to finish medical school, there's this part of me that still feels like I got the shorter end of the stick. I downgraded. Instead of reaching for the stars, I've decided to dig into the ground. After all, the ground is safe. Hardly any possibility of breaking my neck when I fall.

It's easy to try to fly when there's someone on the ground ready to catch you when your paper wings fail.

But I'm not complaining. Really. I'll be a doctor. Such a fancy profession.

The kids at my university are a pleasant bunch. If I had to take my pick, I'd say J is my favourite. He's my uni wife. Such a sweetheart. Kind of like Gaspar. Do you remember him?

As of now, I've known J longer than my old pal Gaspar. They seem alike. Good-natured, way too straightforward and utterly kind. J is like a rope I can hang onto whenever I feel like failing exams. Yes, I do study a lot, yet whenever I panic and my mind goes blank from stress, J is always there to whisper the correct answer into my ear.

And then there's A. I didn't feel the need of befriending anyone upon enrolling on school. A took it upon himself to change it. Now I know people. I'm back to being the social animal you knew, though now it's way different. I don't party that much. It's just no fun anymore. I feel too old for this.

Oh, and there's Cat. Our friendship is complicated. Sometimes I want to wipe every memory I have with her straight out of my brain.

But just as she uses me, I probably also use her.

I have no idea.

How's your company doing, love? And what about Duke? Did you finally convert my studio into your study?

You've got to tell me what have you been up to these past years if we meet.

Yours truly, B