Disclaimer: SOME of the dialogue in this chapter, all characters (but Grace and Philip), the main story line and settings belong to the magnificent Cassie Clare. Grace, Philip and my own story plot belong to me. The Infernal Devices do not belong to me.

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'Please have mercy on me
Take it easy on my heart
Even though you don't mean to hurt me
You keep tearing me apart
Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart.'

- Mercy, Shawn Mendes
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-*-*-*-*- Grace -*-*-*-*-

"Will?" Jem asked. Will was just standing there, completely shocked. He didn't look like he could move. "Did I- Have I been dreaming?" Grace watched as Will slowing sank down into the armchair opposite her, his mouth moving but not words coming out.

"Jem," Grace said, trying to distract him. "We feared...we feared that you wouldn't wake up." Jem gave her an uncertain smile but it turned into a grimace as an coughing fit hit him. Grace held his shaking shoulders as Will scrambled for one of the cloths that was lying on the nightstand. He started to clean off Jem's hands but Jem prised the cloth away from him.

"I am not a child, Will," he said, looking at the both of them gravely. He took a deep breath and composed himself.

"Magnus said that you were in love with Tessa," Jem said, his voice slightly gravelly. "Is that true?"

"Jem-" Grace started, not wanting Will to feel forced to give an answer but Jem interrupted her.

"Is it true, Will?" Will sat for a moment, staring into his hands.

"Yes," he whispered. "It is true." Grace inwardly sighed and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or not, but it was almost as if she was hurtling from a cliff. If she was feeling like this, what on Earth was Will feeling?

"Does she love you?" Jem asked urgently. He was gripping the coverlet with both hands, trying to strangled it.

"No," Will said, his voice raw and cracked. "I told her I loved her, but she never wavered from you." But she does love you, Grace thought. She loves you both with all her heart.

"You told her that you were in love with her?" Jem said, as if he couldn't believe he was saying the words. He turned to Grace. "Did you know about this?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I always knew. For the both of you. I didn't say anything because I couldn't bear to break your heart, Jem, especially when you came to me that day when you became engaged. Will only found out later and by that time, it was too late. We promised that we wouldn't say a word to break the happiness that you and Tessa had found. I'm so sorry for lying to you but I didn't want to hurt any of you." She braced herself for Jem to become angry, but instead he sighed and took her hand.

"You did what you thought was right," he said. "And if I was in our position, I would have done the same thing." He shifted slightly in his position, moving his head across the pillow to face Will.

"When was this? What excess of desperation could have driven you?"

"It was before I knew you two were engaged," Will whispered. "The day I found out that there was no curse on me. I went to her and told her of it, explained why I acted so awfully to everyone. Then I told her that I loved her. But you must know, James, that I had no idea of your feelings towards her. Looking back now, it was plain and clear but I was too obsessed with my own emotions to realise it."

Jem bit his lip. "And...forgive me for asking but it is not a passing fancy, a transient regard...?"

"Jem!" Grace scolded, despite the situation.

"You are right," he murmured. "I can see that it is not."

"I tried so hard to deny it," Will said. "I couldn't bear to threaten what you two had found."

"I am so sorry, Will," Jem said, looking stricken. "So very sorry. I would have ended the engagement if I had known-"

"And broken both of your hearts?" Will demanded. "How would that have benefited me? I could not be the monster that delighted in the pain you would have suffered. I would not do that to the other half of my soul." Jem opened his mouth to argue but Grace put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Don't Jem," she said. "There was no way you could have solved the mess I caused."

"It wasn't your fault," Will murmured. "We all made a mess if it." Despite everything, they all laughed at each other, a sound that Grace had feared she would never have heard again. It wasn't a laugh of pure joy, but more like a nervous one to fill the void.

"I am grieved for your pain, Will," Jem said, closing his eyes, the lids blue and shadowed. "But I am glad you love her."

"You are glad?" Will exclaimed.

"It makes it easier to convince you to do what I wish for you to do," Jem said. "Leave me, and go after Tessa. Rescue her."

"Now?" Will asked. "Like this? I can't just leave you, Jem. Not to face alone whatever you must face."

"Wasn't that what you were doing when I caught your hand?" Jem asked with a smile.

"I made an oath," Will protested.

"Death will part us, Will," Jem said softly.

"Entreat me not to leave thee, or return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go." Will recited the oath almost hysterically, desperately, as if it would change Jem's mind. Grace looked between the both of them as they argued, but she already knew who was going to win.

"You cannot go where I am going!" Jem cried, using the last of his strength. "And nor would I want that for you!"

"Neither can I leave you to die!" Then there was silence as both caught their breath. Jem sighed and took Will's hand and then Grace's.

"I cannot trust anyone else with this," he said. "If you don't go, no one will." His breath rattled in his chest but neither Will not Grace could bear to interrupt him.

"For all these years, I have tried to give you something, Will, that you couldn't give yourself," Jem said quietly. "Faith, that you were better than you thought. Forgiveness, that you need not always punish yourself. A family that you could love and protect when you could not protect your own."

"We always loved you, Will," Grace whispered. "No matter what you did."

"This sounds rehearsed," Will sniffed, the words raw. "Not ganging up on me, are you?" Grace smiled slightly.

"I would have asked you to do this even if I did not know your feelings," Jem said. "Undertake this journey, and you will not undertake it alone, but for all of us."

"I can't leave you alone," Will whispered but Grace could hear the defeat in his voice.

"He won't be alone, Will," she said. "I'll be right here with him." Jem touched his parabatai rune through his night shirt.

"Wherever we are, we are as one," he said. He drew Grace and Will's hands together. "You two must be strong now. You're each other's family. You may not be officially, but parabatai you are to me." Grace was slightly stunned at the gesture as she stared at their joint hands. Will gripped her fingers tightly, their eyes locking as he released her and rose to his feet.

"If there is a life after this one," Will said, "let me meet you in it, James Carstairs."

"There will be other lives," Jem said. "The world is a wheel. When we rise and fall, we do it together."

"Well then," Grace said, her voice tight as she spoke to Will. "If there are other lives, let us hope that you do not make such a colossal mess as you have with this one." Will chuckled.

"I think there's hope for you yet, Will Herondale," Jem said with a smile.

"I will try to have it, without you to show me."

"Tessa," Jem said. "She knows despair, and hope as well. You can teach each other. Find her, Will, and tell her that I have loved her always. My blessing, for all that it is worth, is on you both." Will gripped Jem's hand one last time then turned to the door and left.

***
"I don't suppose I can convince you to go with him?" Jem asked Grace once the door had shut. Grace looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"No," she said. "I won't be as easy to convince as Will was."

"You call that easy?" Jem said.

"Yes," Grace said. "Compared to me, he's extremely easy. And besides, he'll have a better chance getting across the country unnoticed if he's alone. And even though the Magister no longer wants me, I will not make it easy for him by going straight to his door." Jem sighed.

"You're right," he said. "I know that. I trust Will with Tessa's life, but the only person in the world I trust with his life is you.'

"He'll be fine," Grace replied. "Now get some rest. I'll be back in a minute." She stood and went towards the door.

"Gracey?" Jem asked, his eyes closed.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you won't go with Will?" But she knew what he was really asking:

Are you sure you can stay here and face what is to come?

Grace took a deep breath. "We can't split ourselves in half, Jem," she said, not answering the real question. She couldn't answer it. "So if one goes and one stays, at least we have a chance." And with that, she left the room.

-*-*-*-*- Will -*-*-*-*-
Having satisfied himself by watching Cecily climb the steps back into the Institute, Will drew Balios from the stable. He wasn't surprised when he saw the dark shadow leaning on the wall by the Institute's gates.

"You'll look after them, won't you, Grace?" Will said, patting his horse's neck.

"Of course I will," she replied. "And I'll make sure that Cecily doesn't follow after you too. Both of you Herondales are as stubborn as each other, but luckily I have six years of experiences in dealing with them." Will chuckled lightly, watching a smile light up Grace's face that he hadn't seen in a while. But it faded as soon as it came.

"Find her, Will," she said forcefully. "I know you will, but bring her back to him before..." She didn't finish.

"I'll rescue her, I promise that nothing will stop me," Will replied, meaning every word. "There is no mountain, no ocean, no desert and no valley that I won't rip apart to find her." Grace nodded slowly.

"I know," she said. "I pity anything that gets between you and her. But Will..." Will went towards her and pulled her into a hug, making her yelp in surprise.

"You must know that if I didn't have to leave then I wouldn't," he whispered into her hair. "I would stay with you and help you through it all."

"I know you would," she said. "But you can't. If you don't go, no one will." He pulled away and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"I won't let you down," he said. He kissed her forehead quickly in a brotherly gesture then jumped up onto Balios. She opened the gates, looking up to face him.

"It's not about me," she said, shaking her head. "But just promise me that you won't let him down. That you won't let yourself down." He couldn't think of anything else to say to that. The words had run out.

"Good luck, Will," she whispered. He gave her a nod then spurred Balios, riding out into the night. As Balios' hooves pounded on the cobblestones, Will couldn't help but wonder if that would be the last time he saw his family together.

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Hi guys!

Right first off sorry for the late update. My Wi-Fi completely crashed last week so every time I wrote a part it wouldn't save :(:(:( But I'm back! So I hope you enjoyed it!

In the coming chapters we'll have a bit of Phace ;) and some sad scenes so tissues will be needed :(:(:(

Anyways that's it from me. Don't forget to vote and comment as always! Your comments always mean the world to me!

Love y'all!

CricketCat