WITHOUT SUSANNAH, Olivia felt more lost than she had ever been. It felt as though a piece of her had died that day; she was never going to be the same person she was before. Olivia just felt so alone, she didn't even recognise herself anymore- it didn't help that she was dealing with her mother's death very unhealthily. Olivia didn't see any hope in her life anymore, there was no joy or happiness. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled, or laughed.

She was either high or drunk, pushing everybody that cared about her away- except Evie, who had managed to stay with her through it all. Evie Ramirez was the kind of friend who you could tell anything to, like absolutely anything, and she would still be by your side. The kind of friend you could trust with your whole life.

After Susannah's death, Evie had come back from Spain early to be there for Olivia. Only, when Evie had arrived, Via was already unrecognisable. She had started drinking and smoking pot regularly to get her through the days, especially as school was coming up. Via didn't know if she would make it...

A familiar knock came from outside the cubicle door, as Via opened the door, knowing exactly who it was.

She sat on the toilet seat lid, exhaling smoke from her joint before Evie removed it from in between her fingers. Evie reminded, "What was our deal? We're reducing the amounts of weed, remember?" Via could only roll her eyes, as Evie locked the door behind her. The girl questioned, like she did every day, "Have you eaten lunch?"

Via nodded tiredly, "Yeah."

Evie crouched down, so she was eye level with her friend, "I know you would rather be in here alone, but I think you should-"

"I'm fine with staying in the toilets, Evie." Via interrupted, slurring slightly from the amounts of pot she had smoked, "I don't wanna see anyone."

Evie sighed understandably, before asking, "Did you manage to go to any lessons today?"

Via breathed deeply before shaking her head in shame, "I tried, Evie, I really did. It's just so fucking... fucked." The girl worried, "I can't sit in a room with people who just pity me. They bring up... her all the time."

"Hey, I know." Evie comforted, placing her hands on Via's knees, "I know, and it's okay."

Evie took a deep breath, motioning for Via to copy. Olivia tried to smile, as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ear, "I'm gonna try and go to the school counsellor today. I feel like that would help."

Evie smiled softly, her voice so gentle in comparison to how she normally spoke, "I'm so proud of you. That's great."

***
[1 month ago]

Olivia sat on her bed, a highlighter in her mouth and another in her hand. She had been trying to revise, since her grades were very low before summer- she wanted to change that. Olivia didn't want a repeat of last year.

Belly slowly opened the door, standing in the doorway awkwardly, "Hey, uh, can I sit?"

Via looked up, her jaw dropping slightly causing the highlighter to fall from her mouth. She quickly picked it up, before removing her school book from her lap. She patted the bed, "Uh, sure. Yeah."

Belly sat on the edge of her bed, before drowning curiously, "Are you revising?"

"Trying to revise." Via corrected, before explaining, "Oh, I stayed up all night researching about mom's trial. And, uh, I tried to read some facts on it and I'm really hopeful. I feel like mom has a chance, like before."

"That's-That's great, Livy." Belly smiled, "I'm glad that Susannah agreed to do it."

Via smiled, before replying, "I mean, I'm still pissed that Connie never told me, but I guess he had his reasons."

Belly hesitated, "Conrad is actually who I wanted to talk to you about."

Via's smile faded, as a curious frown appeared on her face, "Is, uh, is he okay?"

"Yeah, um, the thing is, uh, last night I really couldn't sleep." Belly explained nervously, "So, I went to... watch the sunrise on the beach. And, uh, Conrad, was there and we just started talking. And one thing led to another, and-and we kissed."

Via scoffed, "You kissed Conrad?"

"Yeah, uh, I mean I thought I should tell you because you're my best friend." Belly replied, "I, uh, I don't know how to tell Jere. I don't know if he would take it well."

Via stood up in panic, though she raised her voice in anger, "This is fucked up, Belly. I mean, you-you can't... you cheated on Jere."

"I-I didn't know we were gonna kiss, it, uh, just happened." Belly defended, "Livy, you're meant to be on my side. We're best friends."

She knew where Belly was coming from, and if Via didn't have a crush on Belly, she would've been on her side. But she did have a crush on Belly, and all Via wanted was her. She hated how Belly picked everybody but her.

Via exhaled deeply, realising how visibly jealous she had gotten, before clearing her throat. She spoke softly, "You're right. I-I'm sorry, i just think Jere's gonna be really upset. It's not really a good time to cheat on him."

"I'm sorry." Belly spoke softly, before asking, "We're still friends, though, right?"

Via's skin crawled and she wanted to rip her hair out in anger. She just wanted Belly to see her, the way she did her brothers. She was never going to be enough.

Via smiled slightly, "Of course."

***
[present day]

Mrs Holzman, the school counsellor, sighed, as she read over Olivia's grades and progress over the school term. The woman explained, "Olivia, I was reviewing your end of term transcripts, and I couldn't help but notice that your grades have taken a serious dive."

"I'm, uh, dyslexic. My grades have always been low." Via deadpanned, as her leg uncontrollably bounced up and down, "My brother said he was getting me a tutor, but, uh... we haven't spoken in a few weeks."

Mrs Holzman nodded, "I understand the position you're in, but your grades have to be your main focus in order to succeed this school year." She paused, "Is there anything going on?"

Via exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding. She muttered, avoiding eye contact, "My, uh, mom died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Olivia." The women sympathised, "However, your grades have been dipping all year and, I know you must be so upset, but I'm sure your mother wanted you to try your best." She paused, looking at the timetable in her hand, "After school there's a extra catch-up classes I'd like you to attend-"

"Did you hear a single thing I just said?" Via blurted out, as she slid her chair out to stand up quickly. She grabbed her bag quickly, before storming out and slamming the door behind her.

"Miss Fisher!"

Via cursed under her breath, as she stormed through the school corridors, keeping her head down so nobody saw the tears swelling in her eyes. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, as she read the notification on the screen...

Belly:
Hey Livy, are you okay?
Please come to Steven's
graduation party.
I need to see you x

Via's frustration faded in an instant, as she read Belly's message. Belly had a talent of cheering up the girl just by existing, though Belly didn't know she had that talent. Ever since they all left Cousins, Via had thought of her every single day in Boston.

Via's fingers hesitated over the keypad, as she contemplated what she was going to respond. She would see everybody if she went. Everybody would pity her for what happened. They would all see her differently.

Livy: 
Hi Belles,
see you there