The clock on my wall was the only thing that broke the silence as I sat across from Charlie at my dining table, trying to find the words to start. He was staring expectantly at me, clearly waiting for me to say whatever I wanted to say so he could move on to take a shower, but the words got stuck in my throat.

The image of what I had seen minutes ago still played clearly inside my head, way too fresh to even fully have been absorbed. More than ever, I wished I'd never seen what was on that video. Wished that I was still ignorant and oblivious to what they had done to him.

It was like I couldn't look at him the same way anymore. Charlie rose a slow brow at me from my prolonged silence, but all I saw was the full grown man being strapped to a chair with endless streams of electrical volts zapping through him when he couldn't solve what they presented to him. The silence only further heightened the screams I still heard ringing in my ears, the screams of someone scared and in indescribable pain.

And the owner of those screams was sitting stoically in front of me, still waiting for me to speak.

I tried to open my mouth, but my throat closed up. How did I possibly begin telling him? I hadn't been trained for this, hadn't had any experience in this field. Looking at him now, I just wanted to leap out of my chair and hold him in my arms and comfort him for the stuff he didn't know had happened to him. He had been so strong since he had come here, had bounced back from every disappointment the world had given him, every blow and every kick.

But this might just be what tipped the cup.

Closing my mouth again and swallowing, I felt a change of mind coming. I couldn't tell him. It really would break him. There was no saying how he would react to this news, and with me and him not being on the best of terms right now, there was no guarantee I could calm him down. C.E.N.T.U.R.I.E.S would be forced to swoop in and... who's to say they wouldn't press that vile little button that triggered the chip inside his head.

So I decided quickly. It wasn't the time nor the place to tell him this. What good would it do him anyway? It would only scar him further. What was done was done, and nothing could change that. Why not let him live obliviously like I wished I could do now? He didn't deserve what had been done to him, but as long it hadn't scarred him...

"Carly?"

My silence had finally run its quota. Charlie implored me with a look and studied my probably pale face. I shook it off and tried my best to snap out of it. New plan. "I'm sorry. I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts."

Charlie's creased brows eased up and he slowly leaned back in his chair. "Okay."

I gulped nervously again. Sitting relaxed and reclined in my chair with his purple eyes looking at me, he looked like a Marvel superhero just coming back from a training session, sweat dripping off his body; too sexy, too drop dead gorgeous and too mouthwatering.

And yet all I saw was the man tied to a chair in a lab.

I shook my head again and tried to focus. "Alright. We need to talk, Charlie. About... a-about what happened," I explained, quickly agreeing with myself to continue the plan I had started earlier this morning; discussing our mistake. "These last few days there's been some lingering tension between us, but I'd like it to go away. If we're going to be able to work together again properly, we need to be candid and clear the air. You understand?"

A small muscle in his jaw clenched, but he nodded and looked down. "Yes."

"Good," I sighed with relief, but in truth I was still stiff as a board. My stomach was taut with anxiety and my lungs were stuttering on their exhales. Looking down at my folded hands, I realized they were slightly trembling as well.

Charlie was sitting calmly across from me, but every muscle in my body was coiled tightly. He was waiting for me to continue, but again my words failed me.

And suddenly, I realized why.

This was no longer just about him. For a month and a half I had been focusing on him, his emotions, his feelings, his actions and everything in between. Now, all of a suddenly, my own emotions were involved. I had let myself get attached to him and let myself open up to him – in more ways than one.

I was nervous because for the first time in way too long, my own feelings were at stake, my own heart vulnerable. My last couple relationships hadn't been deep, only shallow and mostly about sex. With Charlie we hadn't even done that part yet, and yet our connection ran deeper than any prior I had had.

And right in the centre of it all, was my heart.

Exhaling shakily, I strapped on my thick armor and braced myself; I was an adult and this wasn't my first rodeo. I could do this, I just needed to stop overthinking it so much.

"So, ah... first of, I need to ask you... in the couple hours after you ran away, where were you? Did you go somewhere, or did you just walk around?"

Charlie didn't lift his eyes as he slowly replied. "I... I ran to the mall you took me to on our first outing," He started, shifting a little when I tried to get him to meet my eyes. To no avail. "I sat down at the parking lot... nobody really paid attention to me. I just kept my head down and... and listened."

"Listened to what?"

"All of them," He quietly replied. "What they were talking about. I wanted to know if they all felt like... like those people..." He shifted again and now closed his eyes. I didn't doubt he was reliving that moment. "I had an ache in my chest, and not the good kind. I felt so... so..."

"Hurt?" I whispered. Finally his eyes flipped up to mine, and his magenta irises flickered at me. Hurt was exactly what shone within them. "It's understandable, Charlie."

"But it wasn't just hurt," He said, his voice thickening. He looked away again and gritted his teeth. "It was more. More powerful... stronger. It was like it was alive inside me and wanted to... explode."

I quickly licked my lips when they dried out. I wanted to swallow, but the lump in my throat made it impossible. "A-alright... and this emotion... did it go away again? Is that when you came back?"

"No," He said and slowly shook his head. He then flipped his eyes up to mine and met me dead-on. "It was when I kissed you. That's when it went away."

The pull and twist in my stomach made me clench my shaking hands and look away. Guilty tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't stop them. I knew he saw all of it, but I couldn't be professional and rein in my emotions at the same time. And right now, my stupid emotions won.

"Carly." I heard the scrape of a chair being pulled out and then heard the characteristics thumps of his footsteps walking around the table. I shook my head and tried to turn away from him when he crouched down in front of me and cupped my face. "Carly, please look at me."

I couldn't. Not possibly when his purple eyes would shine at me like that, and his whole face, so damn beautiful and heartbreaking, would blind me with its perfection. I couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in my eyes and begun spilling down my cheeks.

Damn it. I had really let myself go this time.

"Carly," Charlie now said again, pulling my chair closer to him and wrapping an arm around my waist to strangle any air between us. "You're crying..."

"Yes, I'm crying," I sobbed helplessly and still tried to struggle out of his comforting arms to hide my stupid tears. I couldn't believe I was breaking down in front of him like a pubescent teen on her period. Good God, I had reached a new low. "It's nothing, Charlie. Please just let me go, I j-just need a m-moment—"

He pressed his lips against mine and cut me short before I could stop him and breathed new life into me with just one, deep kiss. My sobs stopped and my lungs clenched, just as my body bloomed when his hand swiped my hair away and cupped the back of my head. He moved so slowly, coaxed all the hurt out of me and swallowed it with his lips; like CPR, he revived me and mended my bleeding heart.

Once he finally pulled away, I was breathless but had never felt more alive than in that moment. I allowed my forehead to rest against his and just breathed him in, the heady and sweaty musk of his workout clinging to his skin, combined with his own natural scent. It was him; Raw, honest and him. Charlie.

My beautiful Creature.

"I still like you," He whispered against my lips, nudging his nose against mine. "I like you so much. I don't like us not talking. I don't like not looking at you. I don't like not being in the same room as you. I like you."

New tears threatened in my eyes. The images of what I had seen in the videos were still there in my mind, but were temporarily subdued by his lips. "I... I like you, too, Charlie. I just... I don't know how to handle this. This is such a fucked up situation—"

"What's 'fucked'?" He asked, and I suddenly realized my mistake with a gasp. I dramatically covered my mouth when I realized what I just did.

"Uh... nothing. Forget that word. It's nothing."

"You've used it before," He said, moving his lips closer to mine again. "When my tongue was on you, here." I hadn't felt his hand slowly creep between my parted legs before he suddenly cupped me, making me gasp again and automatically clench my thighs. "You were moaning it, but I never understood what it meant. What's fuck, Carly?"

Only Charlie could make me cry one moment, get me trembling the next, and blushing the third. I felt my cheeks burn as he traced his lips down my chin, along my jawline, pressing butterfly kisses to my skin. "I, uhm... it's a bad word. It's called a c-curse. People use curses to, ah... emphasize certain things and sometimes just as an... adjective."

Charlie rumbled and begun kissing me down my neck, sucking a little on my vein when he felt it throb. His hand was in the meanwhile rubbing against the damp patch between my legs, making me squirm.

"I think I get it," He murmured, nibbling down to my collarbone. "If I say... 'I fucking like you', it emphasizes the meaning, right?"

"Uh," I said as my eyes fluttered closed, my chest heaving as he began kissing me down my cleavage, going as far as my V-cut blouse would allow him. "Y-yes, but... it's, uh... it's a bad word, so we don't say it that often, a-alright?"

He hummed against my chest and that almost made me lose it when the vibration powered through to my heart. "Carly..."

"Mm?" I was so far gone, I could hardly focus on anything.

"Take off your fucking pants."

I gasped and felt my stomach knot as a pool of heat gathered there. My eyes shot open and I looked down at Charlie who was crouching before my chair, in between my legs, with his glowing eyes staring lustfully up at me. I gulped when his hands then moved to the button and zipper of my jeans, undoing them deftly, before he begun tugging, forcing them off my legs. And I didn't stop him.

Once again I was back to being docile under his touch, disregarding any consequences of our bad decision-making. I also couldn't focus on it when Charlie rumbled at the sight of my wet panties, smelling my arousal through them, no doubt. The primal in him took over and he parted my legs further with his hands, scooted me closer until I was sitting at the edge of the chair, gripping the seat tightly.

I then watched Charlie with anticipation as he slowly moved closer to my crotch, letting his breath fan me through my underwear. I didn't think that just his breath would be sexy, but my pussy thought otherwise. The heat made me throb harder and damn me if it didn't only moisten me more. Charlie sensed it and rolled his shoulders, as if the pure scent was giving him chills.

"I like this," He huskily said, letting a thumb caress the wet patch on my panty, right on top of where my throbbing clit pulsed. "I fucking like this, Carly."

"Please..." I breathlessly mewled. I couldn't hold out any longer, the wait was killing me. "Charlie..."

An animalistic growl grated in his throat, and with no more patience, he gripped my panty and ripped it clean off. I let out a strange sound as the material snapped against my skin, hurting only for one second before it was gone and got replaced by something else.

Charlie's tongue flicked against my clit and had me wheezing out my first breath right from the start. My hips arched up, wanting more, but Charlie dominantly pushed me back down and forced me to submit to his pace.

And hell if it didn't almost drive me to the brink of insanity.

Normally I had been the dominant one in my relationships. In a nutshell I was certain that was why I scared men off and never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months, because I liked being the one calling the shots. It was typical a man to feel emasculated by a woman being in charge, taking the lead in the bedroom and showing him how it was done.

They all wanted the power and I resented that, but here with Charlie... for some reason I gladly surrendered to the onslaught of his mouth on my pussy and let it consume me until I couldn't breathe. I loved that he knew just where I wanted his tongue, just where I needed it. I didn't mind being dominated by him, in fact I encouraged him. I had never done that with any other man who had tried to pathetically take charge, and it raised the question of why in my mind.

Maybe because Charlie wasn't a pussy.

– But that certainly didn't mean he didn't know how to eat them.

I let out a small sound as he flicked my clit just right and hit the spot that made me see stars. I swirled into a dizzy state as he continue to rub me right there, teasing me with his skillful tongue until I couldn't contain myself anymore.

I came with a cry and practically smothered his face in my juices as I released against his lips. My legs couldn't stop shaking and my chest was heaving like there was no air in the room. My hands fumbled for leverage and found his shoulders, dug into them and stayed there until my body fell limp against the chair. Spent and drained, my head spun as Charlie then withdrew from me and licked his lips with hungry smacks, before pulling me closer, into his arms. I didn't get a chance to recover before he had picked me up and was carrying me upstairs again, heading for his bedroom. Somewhere just as we reached his threshold, my mind decided to wake up.

"Wait, stop," I said when he was about to put me down on his bed like last time and mount me. I had to stop it before it got that far again. "We still can't, Charlie. We can't go there."

"Why not?" He rumbled, cupping my face to get me to look at him. "Please tell me why, Carly. We already talked about this."

"I know," I said and felt my stomach twist. It just didn't feel right anymore. Let me rephrase that; it didn't feel fair. I now had this huge secret I was carrying around, a secret he deserved to know but couldn't bring myself to tell him. I couldn't be the one to hurt him like that. Maybe that was selfish of me, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to watch as he learned the truth of what they had done to him. Wasn't it better for him to believe his first time getting jacked off was by me and not by some morally handicapped scientist? "I know, Charlie, but we just can't. I know we discussed it, but it just doesn't feel right. Maybe if we give it some time..."

I instantly hated that I said that, lying to him and giving him hope. I saw his eyes light up and watched as he then nodded, accepting my proposal. He was willing to wait for me, and God it made me feel even more horrible.

"You should go take a shower," I therefore told him, lowering my eyes to his chest where the sweat was beginning to dry and smell bad. Fresh sweat was hot, old sweat was not. "I'll go make some healthy pancakes, you just take your time and then come down and eat when you're ready. I'll be waiting."

"So will I," He said, me taking a second to realize what he meant. He then leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, the tangy flavor of myself on his lips invading my mouth. I let it and allowed him to kiss me for five more seconds before he pulled back and went into his bathroom. The door closed, but the lock didn't click.

And why did that sound like the biggest invitation in the world.

• • •

Because it is, you dumbass.