Chapter Nine

Arriving at your parents at nine pm on a Friday night when you hadn't travelled to their house for more than two years was anything but ideal. But he needed some time, some distance, and hopefully some sound advice. Because he was floundering when it came to Nate and of course Lizzie. She shouldn't be part of the equation, but it was hurting her that worried him.

Shaking his head, he swung the car onto his parents' driveway then turned off the engine. But it was a long time before he climbed out of the car.

His father was shorter than him and balding these days, but he was one of that father's who did everything; nothing was too much for him. He was great at DIY, but equally knowledgeable about sport, took him to football matches, taught him how to fast bowl, and was a whizz at maths. HE couldn't cook...but he fixed Oscar's car whenever it wouldn't start. He had the utmost respect and admiration for him, but as his father smiled, opening the front door, he didn't think he could get out and face him.

What would he say about the fact that he had a child without being in a relationship with the mother? Or that he hadn't found Nate sooner? That he hadn't told them? He hated to disappoint his parents, but he had no idea how the news he was brining would have any other effect.

"Oscar! It's amazing to see you, we are so pleased you could for us in to your schedule..." his father had opened the door and was smiling down at him. "...I know how busy you are."

Oscar smiled and turned to climb out of the car, and straight into a hug with his Dad, "missed you old man, too much."

His father beamed, "I know son, who'd have predicted that both our kids would settle in the US?"

Guilt, that's what washed over him.

"But I'm back at the moment." He was pulling his overnight bag from the back seat when his mother appeared on the doorstep. She had her hair swept up in to a loose bun and her apron on. That meant that she was cooking. His stomach growled at the thought.

"Mum."

They dissolved into a huge hug, and he could swear that he felt if not heard her sob against his chest. He had been such a terrible son, not visiting, keeping secrets. He had to rectify that.

"I've made more cupcakes that you can possibly eat, but then I was thinking you probably haven't eaten..."

He held her at arm's length, "I had a sandwich on the road, but a cupcake sounds great...then I was thinking I could take you both to the pub...have a proper catch up."

His father beamed at that, any excuse to get out and about. But he knew his mother would want to fuss him at home, he didn't deserve that, he had to tell them about Nate. If after that she wanted to mother him, then he'd succumb gratefully.

So he quashed her concerns, "honestly, I want to sit at a table with you where you aren't rushing around trying to meet my every whim. That means the pub."

His father Fred knew exactly how to handle his mother after more than thirty years of marriage; sliding an arm around her shoulder he gave her a squeeze, "the boy's got you down to the letter Margaret. He's right; you'll be rushing around fussing all night." He turned to Oscar, "the pub is a great idea son."

Oscar dumped his overnight bag in his old bedroom, the Pirelli calendar pictures still adorned the inside of his wardrobe, some things never changed. His mother had lost both her children to education at a very young age, in fact Freya had left home first at just fourteen, he left a year later at eighteen. His mother left their childhood rooms untouched most likely as a way to still feel they were part of the family. For the first time in a long time he felt sorry for his parents. They'd given him and Freya everything they'd needed, and both had abandoned them. He rarely visited, and until Freya had met up with Coop, had the kids, she'd not been home in years.

After just a week as a parent, he was already missing seeing Nate's smiling face; he couldn't imagine how hard it must be for his own to see so little of their children having had such an involved role for so many years.

"You ready Oscar?"

His father's voice interrupted his thoughts and he reached for his wallet, "on my way!"

Half an hour later they sat around a table near a roaring fire in their local pub. It was a long time since he'd been there, and so it was ages until they three of them alone, dozens of people came to greet him, catch up.

"Maybe we should have stayed in the house after all!" He offered, finally sitting down opposite his parents.

His father grinned, "you always were popular!"

Oscar rolled his eyes, "it's purely because I've been away so long."

His mother was studying him intently and when he reached for his drink, she asked, "so what's going on Oscar?"

He met her eyes and she smiled, "I've never seen you look so anxious. So I'm thinking that you came here to tell us something."

He should have known that his mother would be able to sense his nervousness, she'd been able to sniff the hint of a cigarette or alcohol on his breath, knew when he'd bunked off school. She was almost telepathic when he was a youngster. Her broaching this gave him the 'in' that it may have taken ages to work towards. It was difficult...but she'd opened that door for him.

Running a hand over his face, he lifted his drink and took a look drag, "you're right."

His father's eyes widened as his mother looked a little smug.

"I got a phone call last weekend..." How did he word this?

Both parents were looking at him, waiting, and he felt sick.

"Two years ago I was contacted by an old colleague...a girl I met in Hawaii on business...he told me she had my baby."

His mother gasped and he hated seeing the tears well in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Mum, I headed there, met up with Janis and she introduced me, rather reluctantly to Nathan, Nate..."

"You've got a son and you've never said anything? Oscar, really..." He could hear the pain in her voice, he'd let her down so badly.

"She disappeared Janis, off the face of the earth. Coop put me on to a PI, but no one found her." He closed his eyes for a minute, "I wanted to be there, to be involved, but I couldn't find her. We hadn't shared more than a couple of nights together...I didn't even know her surname."

Her mother blushed and her father shook his head, "that is why you youngsters need to stop sleeping around as if there's no consequence! There's a boy out there, YOUR boy, OUR grandson?"

Oscar sighed, he deserved that. He'd lived exactly as his father suggested, hedonistic, self indulgent, and this was his punishment, his wake-up call.

"What happened last week?" His mother guided him back on track.

"I had a call, from Janis' sister." He found it so hard to verbalise, he hadn't really let things sink in, and this seemed like the first time he was actually processing what had happened. "She was killed in a car accident last Friday."

Her mother paled, "oh my god, how awful. That poor baby."

"As soon as I knew where he was, Nate, I came over. They've been in Manchester with Lizzie, his aunt since they left Hawaii."

THe pain and the worry of the last two years all came to a head as he sat there. He hadn't cried as an adult in his memory, but as he sat there, he could so easily dissolve into tears. Poor Nate was right, but also poor Janis. Whatever she'd done she didn't deserve to die, to leave Nate, to not see him grow up.

His mother must have sensed his difficulties, and so she reached out and placed a hand on his, "I'm not going to pretend that we're ecstatic that this happened, or that you didn't tell us two years ago. But he exists and he's part of this family."

He gave her a sad smile, and then pulled out his phone, "this is him."

His mother stared at the screen and a tear fell down her cheek. "He's the image of you. But I thought he was a baby."

"He's just turned four; he was almost two when I found out about him. She didn't want me involved as just a father...that's what her sister told me. Janis hated that I wanted the baby, but not her...so she fled."

His father had been silent since his single outburst and he leaned forward, "you can't blame her in some ways. But that doesn't make this easier for you. You're going to do right here?"

He had to word this well, "I already love him. He's amazing." His mother nodded as she glanced up from swiping through his phone pictures. "But he doesn't know me...and he's just lost his mother, everything that he knows. His Aunt, she's the stability in his life. He doesn't know who I am yet..."

His father made to protest but his mother cut him off, "what a selfless thing to do darling, a real paternal action. He needs to be surrounded by familiarity and love, there's time for him to learn the truth."

"That's the exact conversation I had with Lizzie. I've seen him every day, picked him up from school, taken him to the park, out for pizza...he's happy generally, but then he'll cry, want his mother. It's heartbreaking."

"I want to meet him."

He had expected this of his mother; of course she'd want a role in this child's life.

"I want that too, Mum. I just need to work out how to do this."

They talked a lot that evening, and the following day, but early Sunday morning, Oscar needed to get back to Manchester. His parent's understood, and as he was looking like being in Britain for the foreseeable future, he promised to visit more often. And to keep in touch.

Lizzie opened an eye and groaned. Nate was in bed next to her chattering away as though nothing had happened the last week. Which was great for him...and for her, if she hadn't drunk FAR too much the last two evenings as she tried to make sense of the world with her best friend. They'd got drunk Friday night, but after a day of laughing, shopping and gassing, the evening descended into tears, despair...and then drunk dancing.

"So is he going with us?"

She grimaced unsure what she'd just murmured agreement with. Her alarm clock told her it was eight am, her last memory had been dancing to MTV through a veil of tears as she sloshed her glass of wine in time to the music.

"What's that love?"

He rolled his eyes, and it seemed such a crazily forward gesture for a four year old, "swimming! You said you'd take me swimming later, and I asked if Oscar was coming."

Swimming? She could barely open her eyes. That was so not happening. Then she thought about a half naked Oscar parading around in swim shorts and it made her more than a little hot under the hungover collar. Instead she groaned, "darling I have a really bar headache, can we go swimming tomorrow after school?"

His bottom lip quivered and he looked devastated, but then he gave a nod and a small, "ok."

Shit how to feel guilty, she was the worst aunty ever, surely.

"Let's get some breakfast and think about what we're going to do, ok? I promise we'll do something..." Though it's highly unlikely to be swimming!

Nate liked one type of cereal more than anything else for breakfast, it was probably full of sugar, but he was a kid who ate a well balanced diet so she was more than happy to let the cereal thing ride.

Plopped at the breakfast bar with his bowl and a spoon he tucked into it as she turned on the radio and started on some eggs and coffee. The smell of food obviously drew her best mate out of the spare room and Vicky appeared dishevelled and as rough as Lizzie felt herself.

"Coffee...say yes, please..." Vicky slumped next to Nate at the raised breakfast bar and rested her head on her forearms watching her friend.

"I thought I felt rough...then I saw you!" Lizzie managed a laugh, as she popped some bread in the toaster.

Vicky groaned, "who thought that tequila after wine was a good idea."

Lizzie felt her jaw drop, "we hit tequila? Shit."

Vicky nodded from her weird head position, "my fault...I brought it from Miami for you. You obviously don't even remember that."

Nate seemed to have forgotten swimming as they ate breakfast together and he chattered away about so much yet so little. The two women were glad to nod along with him as they tried to keep the food and coffee down.

"You heading back today?"

Vicky had offered to stay for the week as she wasn't expected back in work, but Lizzie thought that would be difficult for Nate, after all she was trying to keep this as normal and routine as possible.

"When I'm fit to drive...I may have to go back to bed first."

Lizzie was admittedly feeling a bit better, "but you'll stay here next week, after the funeral?"

Her friend nodded, "of course. I still think that you could do with some help, some support this week."

"I'll be fine Vic, but I love that you are so concerned. That's what I've missed since you've been away."

"Well you promise me that you'll call me."

A few hours later and she was leaving, though if she'd been driving rather than taking the train then she'd have been travelling a lot later. It was less than twenty minutes after she left that there was a knock at the door.

Oscar. Lizzie couldn't believe the relief she felt as she opened the door to the now familiar face.

"You look..."

She groaned cutting him off, "I know, I get it. Tequila apparently doesn't mix with wine..." She held her chin high as she added, "and grief."

Sighing he pulled her into a quick hug, "you're doing amazingly well Liz, just keep remembering that. Ok?"

For a moment she was happy to just lean into him, to let him take her stresses, but she couldn't keep relying on him. He wouldn't be there forever, and then the whirlwind that was Nate inserted himself between them.

"Hey munchkin!" Oscar scooped his son up and gave him a hug. "How's your weekend been?"

He grimaced, "ok. But Aunt Lizzie promised to take me swimming...then stopped it today."

Oscars eyes flitted from the sad boy to the hungover woman in front of him.

"I can take you swimming a different day, but I was thinking that maybe we could go to the cinema? I hear that Batman is on."

Nate wriggled free of his arms and whooped as he ran around the kitchen. Lizzie grimaced at the noise and it made Oscar chuckle, "we'll be a few hours. You could get some sleep?"

She nodded; the thought was amazing, "just what the doctor ordered."

He was still smiling at that when he escorted a skipping Nate out of the door half an hour later.