[Co-written by GorgingGeorge]

[Ship: Roguemond]

[NSFW?: No]

[Word Count: 3459]

"Did you hear about the new hire?"

Almond looked up from his cases and looked at his associate. "New hire? This is the I'm first-time hearing of this. Is this because of the merger?" The older detective asked. "Yeah, but, knowing you, you're probably too focused on your work. His name is Chedder Cheese cookie, you should go talk with him since you're, erm, well... You've been here the longest."

With that, Almond decided to greet this new detective.

What he saw was a suave looking ginger chatting with his coworkers, a hat covering one of his eyes. "Why, ain't you the man I heard about. You must be Almond Cookie, right?" He asked with a southern drawl.

"Yeah, that's me. And I'm assuming you're Cheddar Cheese Cookie."

"Indeed I am. Now, I've been told that we're being partnered up to take care of this Roguefort Fella. I usually work with Macaroni Cookie, but he's currently paired with a younger detective." Cheddar Cheese stated. "Yes, from what I read, he's paired with my daughter, Walnut."

"Oh, I didn't know you were a family man." Cheddar stated. 

"Well, she's my only family, really. Her and our cat, Constable Whiskers." Almond awkwardly admitted. "My cases are usually set in Parfaedia, often dealing with magical mishaps that occur around the academy or anyone attempting to steal ancient artifacts from Eclair's museum." 

"So I see, me and Mac tend to focus on little cases. And we just got news of Roguefort sneaking onto that fancy new Bear Jelly express. So you're gonna be on my turf as it were, I say we might be mighty fine partners." Cheddar remarked. "Erm, I suppose. I usually work alone." Almond admitted. "I've tangled with Roguefort before, they're always able to sneak out under anyone's nose. Cappuccino and Langue Du Chat learnt that when they were finally taken to court." 

"Well, I'm sure I'll be able to spot them among the guests also coming along. Better get those tickets now, why don't you relax? When they show up, we'll be ready." 

"I guess, if this train has good coffee." 

As the two detectives approached the station, a disguised cookie was sneaking into the train's caboose. It was none other than Roguefort, they could never resist being in the same location as rare jewelry and luxurious cuisine. "Hmm, perhaps I can meet back up with Monsieur Detective."

With no one suspecting a thing, the train departed the station. Roguefort went around, disguised as the conductor, looking into the cabins to see if there was anything valuable from a first glance as well as playing the role to not cause any suspicion. Anything that was shiny would be added to a mental list to steal from later.

However, what they didn't expect was to see Almond with someone new. "Oh? Who's this?" They thought peering in through the window.

Meanwhile, inside of the cabin, Cheddar made eye contact with the disguised thief. "Oh, I believe that there the conductor is here to see our tickets." Cheddar spoke, opening the door to let Roguefort in to stamp their tickets. "Odd to see a cookie as a conductor when they're usually ran by bear jellies."

"Well, they were short staffed, and I had to step in." Roguefort lied just to get their tickets stamped and get out of there. They were the jealous type, even though they and Almond had barely anything between them. But to let that botch the mission, that wasn't going to happen.

"Tsk, he had a cheesy scent on him. Of course, he's just some plain cheddar, not like me. My dough is infused with fancy French cheese." They thought as they exited. "Well now looks like a concert will occur in an hour, all those cookies in one place. Oh this is like a buffet of riches all for me to pilfer, it's almost too good to be true." Roguefort chuckled to themself. "Of course, I would have to remain inconspicuous around Monsieur Detective Almond." 

The train was chugging smoothly along the tracks now, with a view of the snowy kingdom out the window. "So Almond, what got you into doing detective work?" Cheddar asked. 

"Well, I've always been interested in why some cookies turn to crime, as well as wanting Parfaedia to remain a peaceful, quiet city. Walnut took a lot after me. Why do you ask?" 

"Just curious I suppose. I happen to be a fan of the Ms. Waffle series by Linzer Cookie, it's fascinating how she can weave words on the page. Why it's almost like she's writing down the exact moments of a crime scene." Cheddar exclaimed. "Little Macaroni always has his favorite issue with him whenever we have an out-of-town job, it keeps him from feeling homesick." 

"I can't say I've heard of those books. I'll have to see if the library holds some copies. You're quite the talkative type." 

"Oh erm, I suppose you're not used to having long conversations? I can stop if you want." 

"No, it's alright, it's a nice change actually."

As the two chatted the ginger had an idea. "Say, I know there's a concert happening in about an hour. I think it would be a good idea to investigate in case that Roguefort shows up. What do you think?" Cheddar asked.  

"That's a great idea, they'd probably come out from hiding to take everything they can while everyone else is distracted." Almond commented. 

Roguefort spent most of their time wondering the halls and doing conductor type things. That was until they saw something. Almond, on top of Cheddar, they were in a pretty compromising position, their faces close together. The phantom thief couldn't bear to see this, so they left. 

However, the situation was far from the scandal Roguefort interpreted it as. flash back a few seconds before hand, Cheddar was opening the door to start the investigation, when the train hit a bump, causing Almond to fall forward and onto Cheddar. The ginger detective even joked about the railroad needing to be fixed.   

But Roguefort didn't see that, they just took what they saw at face value. "How could he go around trying different cheeses like that!? I thought we had something!" Roguefort thought, pissed off and very heart broken.

"Grr, how could he break a poor cookie's heart like that? Did he just not see all my flirting as romantic? Oh, who am I kidding? He would never love a thief." They grumbled. "Just what does he see in this Cheddar anyways? Other than both of them being detectives, and his soft green eyes, and that they're both fathers... Ooh it makes me furious just to think about it!" 

Roguefort tried to shake off their jealousy as best they could, after all, there were still plenty of riches to steal. "It'll be a quick trip. Just in and out and I'll make off with plenty of treasures, and perhaps some of that fancy breakfast. I do hope they have croissants, the bakeries at Parfaedia just don't make it as flakey as back home." 

As they made their way into the dining cart, they saw none other than Almond sitting at a table close to the stage. "Ugh, I don't even want to tease him after what I've seen. I never would have guessed he'd be this much of a slut... What am I saying? It's not like he ever returned my feelings, if he even knew they were feelings I had for him." 

Almond remained oblivious as Roguefort passed by, still in disguise. "I've never been on a train, or any vehicle this fancy before. My last train ride had me stuck in a cramped seat and eating a cold Jampie's soup." He remarked out loud.  "Erm, oh really?" Roguefort asked. "Well, this is dinner and a show, you'll be served a meal with coffee and get to see Crème Brulé cookie perform." 

"Is he famous? I don't listen to a lot of classical pieces." 

"Oh very, he's composed many timeless pieces. Speaking of which." Roguefort had their eye on the priceless piano right behind the curtains. "If I can swipe all of the judge's jewels, I can steal a little instrument." They thought. Just then Cheddar showed up. "Oh hello Mr. Conductor. You want to sit with us?"

"I- Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn't want to ruin your evening. Besides, uh, I have many duties to fulfill so-"

"Now, now, I insist, you've probably have been working hard all day. Besides you wouldn't ruin anything." The ginger stated. "Merde, if I decline, I'd look suspicious, but if I accept, I won't be able to steal anything." They thought before noticing Cheddar staring at them. "Um, Mr. Conductor?"

"Oh, right, uh...I mean, if you insist, I guess I have to."

"Good to hear, now go on, take a seat."

With that Roguefort was sat in between the two detectives, listening to Creme Brule tickle the ivories of the piano. He was fairly good, but the thief couldn't even focus on that. Not only because if they slipped up, they'd have two detectives that could easily arrest them, but also the fact that their one-sided crush was one of the detectives. "This would have been so romantic if that Cheddar foiré didn't come along..." They thought.

And they made it a bit obvious with their face. "Say, Mr. Conductor, you feeling alright?" The cheese detective asked. "Yes, I'm fine, I think I need to use the restroom." They stated, attempting to leave.

"You looked like you were about to cry, here, I'll escort you down." Cheddar insisted. 

"I'm not! I just got a little sugar granule in my eye, I'll just splash it out with some water, and I'll be alright." Roguefort insisted. 

 "I'm just trying to be nice; I can tell whenever Mac was feeling upset at anything so I figured it must have been the same for you. Is the stress of work getting you down?" 

"... No. It's something else." Was all Roguefort responded with before leaving the room as calmly as they possibly could. The moment no one was in sight, they made a dash to the men's room. "What's his deal?! Thinking he can just play coy when I saw what he had done with Almond!" They grumbled. They weren't even calling Almond by his nickname anymore. "He probably thinks he's above me now, he'll just lock me up no questions asked, even though I didn't steal anything yet." 

They jumped as another figure entered the restroom. "Gah! Oh, it's just you..." They grumbled.  "Erm, was I interrupting anything?" Almond asked. "I got some coffee on my shirt; I was just going to clean it off." They awkwardly moved towards the sink. 

"Oh no, go ahead. I was just about to leave anyways." But something in Roguefort told them to stay, it didn't help that Almond had removed his shirt to clean the stain off. "Erm.. You're well built for someone as old as yourself." They blurted out. "Gah! Sorry, that came out wrong." 

"Uh.. you think I look good?" Almond squeaked. "No one's ever complimented my appearance."

"Um, no one? Well, they don't know what they're missing. Uh, I should be going now. Time to clean the cars." They muttered, turning to exit the room.

"Wait." 

"Huh? What is it detective?" Roguefort asked, not bothering to turn around to face him. "Did he figure me out? No, of course not, I've been careful not to be out of line." They thought before Almond placed a hand on their shoulder. 

"Hey. I don't know why you're upset, but... I'm sure that it'll get better. If you're lonely, I'm sure eventually you'll find someone, even if you don't your life can still be good." Almond stated, trying to be nice and trying to comfort them. "Oh, that's rich coming from you Almond. Bet you're only being nice since your new piece of action was being nice." They thought, still bitter. 

"Ah, well, thanks, I guess... Still, I have to get back to doing my job." The disguised thief stated before leaving the bathroom. "The nerve of him to just... Ugh, it doesn't matter now, now does it. I'll just do this heist and get out of here." He uttered to himself before going through the cars.  "Oh, I don't think you will, Mr. Conductor, or should I say, Roguefort." 

It was Cheddar. "I wanted to check on Almond, y'know see if he didn't have any burns on him from the coffee. Though, I heard you mutterin' to yourself about doing a heist on this train."

"And? You stole something, well... Someone from me, so I only see it as fair to steal something from your domain." Roguefort stated before outmaneuvering Cheddar and running off. That was before being intercepted by Almond.

"Cheddar stole from you? How could he have, I was with him the entire time." Almond immediately interrogated. It was then he realized what they were talking about. "Wait, you thought he and I... Umm, you thought." 

The cheesy detective kneeled down to their level. "Almond and I are just friends, besides. He's ten years older than me, probably." He tried to explain. 

"Oh, are you now? I saw you right on top of this... newbie! Your faces were close enough to kiss! How do you explain that?" Roguefort hissed. 

"That? The train hit a bump, I stumbled forward, and Cheddar tried to grab me." Almond answered. "We never meant to end up on top of each other... I would never lie to you, even if you're a criminal." 

"Oh..."

Roguefort looked to their feet, they now felt worse than ever for making a big deal out of a misunderstanding. The way they lashed out like that would make Almond hate them or see them as an obsessed stalker. "I... I should go." They mumbled, they would have tossed a smoke bomb and made their usual escape, but Almond kept a tight hold on them. 

"Rogue... I'm sorry things turned out this bad, but I had no intention of breaking your heart." 

"How...? You didn't even know I had feelings for you until now." Roguefort had to bite back tears just being near him. 

Not knowing what else to do, Almond leaned forward, his face touching theirs.

Roguefort blushed from this lack of distance, feeling the breath of the nut infused detective. They were getting what they wanted right? Well, that's what they thought. But a seed of doubt was planted in their mind. Almond probably still didn't recuperate these feeling. He was probably just using this to his advantage most likely. They wouldn't be shocked by this, not in the slightest.  

"Wait... You shouldn't do it, since... Since you don't actually love me... If you're just going to arrest me do it then and stop messing with my poor heart." The thief stated, not believing for a second that the detective was being honest. "Who told you I didn't?" 

Roguefort paused and started to let their tears fall. "Well, I... I did. since you don't. You're just trying to make me vulnerable to just arrest me... If you did you would have caught on to my flirts sooner..."  

Almond stared into Roguefort's eyes, wiping a few tears from their face. "That wouldn't be farther from the truth. I just didn't know if you were being serious with your flirts.... I've had a bad relationship before, so I didn't believe what you were saying at face value... Well, at first anyway." He responded.

"You... You were in a relationship before?" 

Almond nodded. "With Walnut's mother, she was... not good to say the least. She didn't approve of Walnut wanting to become a detective and that I wasn't spending enough time with her. It's not like I was purposely avoiding her, she called me selfish and left the two of us when Walnut was still just a baby. I took care of her myself, taking her with me to the office." 

Roguefort still sniffled but continued to listen. "Family must mean a lot to you, huh?" 

"Very, the last thing I want is anyone else feeling unloved." Almond blushed at his last statement. "Erm, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about how I felt about you. I was just-" He was however silenced when Roguefort placed a hand on his mouth. 

"It's alright, I should be the one to apologize for jumping to conclusions like that. And I am sorry. I tried to bury those feelings, but they never went away. Almond, I love you." 

"I love you too, Roguefort." Almond smiled, cupping their face in his hands, giving them a kiss. "Your face is so soft and smooth."

"Thank you. Your lips are smooth. Do you use lip balm?" The phantom thief purred as they gently nuzzled The nut infused detective.

"I do." Almond stated before kissing Roguefort again. "Now I'd hate to interrupt a sweet moment like this one, but we do have to arrest Roguefort if I do recall." Cheddar stated, still being there since y'know he had to do his job.

"Oh right. Roguefort you're under arrest for the theft, impersonation, and attempted theft." Almond said, hand cuffing the blonde to him. "That way we have an eye on you." He explained.

"Well, alright. I suppose I have to." Roguefort said with a soft semi-sweet smile. The thief and the detective stayed attached for the rest of the train ride. Roguefort, being tired from crying earlier, decided to take a nap, using Almond as a head rest. 

Cheddar couldn't help but awe as he watched the new couple cuddle up against each other. "They do make a sweet couple." He thought, once the three arrived at their stop, Almond carried Roguefort towards the police station. 

Walnut and Macaroni were waiting for them, eagerly running up to hug their fathers. "Hope Roguefort wasn't too much trouble." Walnut said. 

"Not at all, they were very cooperative actually." Almond chuckled. "As they didn't take anything valuable, their sentence may be shortened." 

At that point, Roguefort awoke. They were a blushing mess the longer they stayed in Almond's arms. "You are very strong, Monsieur Detective." They purred. "Are we already back?" 

"We are, do you promise to behave yourself from now on?" 

"Mm, no promises. But I'll see how this goes." Roguefort chuckled.  Walnut cocked her head as she watched the thief interact with her dad. "What's going on?" 

Almond just blushed. "Let's just say he claimed something very valuable." The thief answered. "And so did I."

"Huh? What did they mean by that...?" Walnut thought before putting the pieces together. "Wait... Roguefort, you're dating my dad?!"

"Yes, if he wants to that is." Rougefort purred nuzzling the brunette detective. "Well, after your sentence, I don't see why not." Almond smiled softly as he kissed the blonde's cheek.

Walnut on the other hand was both confused and a bit annoyed at this outcome. "What?! But they're a thief!" She exclaimed. "How can you just forgive them so easily...!"

"Well, when two cookies love each other, things just work out, I suppose." Almond stated with a shrug. Walnut just huffed as Roguefort was placed in a cell. Cheddar noticed Walnut's anguish. "Hey, Miss Walnut, What seems to be the matter?" He asked her, getting on a knee to be on her level. "I don't get why my dad is dating Roguefort of all cookies! I mean, sure they flirted with him, but they flirt with everybody." She stated.

"I see... Well, from what I saw on the train, Roguefort has a genuine connection with your pop. In fact, they were jealous of me being near him." Cheddar chuckled softly at the last bit. "But, what if they break my dad's heart?"

"Like your mother did to him?" 

Walnut nodded, fidgeting with her magnifying glass. "Dad was really hurt, and I don't want him hurt again, especially not by that thief!" She admitted. 

"Well I have faith Roguefort will be a loyal lover. They spilled all the beans on how much they loved Almond, they were even crying when they thought he and I were a couple." Cheddar explained, patting her back. "If they do cheat, I'll give ya full permission to give them a swift kick in the behind." 

 Walnut finally smiled. "Well if you're sure, I'll still keep a really close eye on them once they're out of jail." She sighed. "You hear that, Roguefort? One wrong move and you're out." 

The thief laughed but gave her a nod. "I would never hurt him, you're much tougher than you look, I see?" 

Almond scooped his daughter up off the ground and onto his shoulders. "One word of advice is to never break a promise to my daughter. Shall we get home now?"

"Lets." Roguefort smiled and gave Almond a soft kiss before going home with the detective.