Castiel was nervous about his first day back to school. Everyone would know by now, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that kind of attention. But he was excited to see Dean again, though. He hadn't come back after sending the doctor in, and he'd never come to visit. Castiel really wanted to see him again.

"Just go easy on Dean. Sam says he hasn't been doing very good since... since. I know you weren't planning on running down the halls screaming his name, but... don't expect him to be as enthusiastic as you remember," Gabriel said as they sat in the parking lot. Castiel frowned, but nodded.

"Okay, good. Now, you'd better go, or you'll be late."

Gabriel had very much understated Dean's condition. The first time Castiel saw him that day, he was sitting alone at a lunch table, his face pale, his sparkling green eyes dulled, dark circles under his eyes. Castiel walked over after a moment's hesitation.

"Go away, Charlie," Dean said without looking up, his voice raw. Castiel sat there for a minute, not knowing what to do, and eventually tapped Dean on the shoulder. When Dean looked up, his face changed.

"Cas?" He asked. Castiel nodded. Dean smiled, but it looked almost more insane than it did happy. Castiel blinked.

"I'm glad you're back," Dean said, before standing up and walking away. Castiel watched him go. This is what he had wanted, right? For Dean to leave him alone? Now that he had it... why did it hurt so much? Charlie sat in front of Castiel, jarring him from his thoughts.

"Cas, you've got to help him," she said. Castiel just stared at her.

"He's tearing himself up. He thinks it's his fault, and I know this can't be easy for you either, and I'm sorry, but I'm afraid if he goes too much further, he might not ever come back," Charlie continued. She reached over and took Castiel's hand, causing him to flinch.

"Cas, I know you aren't the brave one, but... but now you have to be. Please," Charlie begged. Castiel just shook his head. Even before his mother had died, he'd never been brave. He was still trying to put himself back together, he couldn't put everything on the line. Castiel stood up and hurried away from Charlie, who just sat there, tears glistening in her eyes.

Castiel sat in his room later that afternoon, thinking about what Charlie had said. He wanted to be brave, but... it just wasn't who he was.

"Hey, how are you?" Gabriel asked from the doorway. Castiel shrugged.

"Well if you need anything... just let me know, okay?" Castiel nodded and Gabriel went on down the hall. Castiel looked around his room, and his eyes fell on the drawing on his desk. It was his drawing of wings that Dean had taken from art class that first day. Castiel walked over to his desk and sat down, picking up a pencil. It was time to finish it.