Ringo: Have any of you played Truth or Dare before?

John: Why are you asking them that? I'm sure everyone's played it.

George: Everyone but us.

Paul: How do you play this game?

John: Isn't it obvious? You ask someone if they want a truth or a dare and then you give them something horrific. *grins like a maniac and rubs his hands together*

Paul: I don't know if I want to play this then.

George: Stop being so lame! Let's get the show on the road!

Ringo: In the road.

Paul: *face-palm*

John: Heh heh heh.

George: Who should go first?

Paul: Let's start with Ringo since he's the oldest and go clockwise.

Ringo:

John:

George:

Paul: *sighs* What part of that didn't you understand?

Ringo: The clockwise part.

Paul: Okay. This is clockwise. *demonstrates*

John: What about counterclockwise? I've heard that one before.

Paul: This is counterclockwise. *demonstrates*

George: Basically counterclockwise is the opposite of clockwise.

Paul: Yeah.

John, George, and Ringo: Ohhhhhh . . .

Paul: *mutters* I'm surrounded by imbeciles.

Ringo: So that means I start first and then it goes to John, then to George, and then to Paul.

Paul: *looks as though he has a headache* Exactly.

Ringo: All right. So . . . I just pick whoever I want to do a truth or dare?

John: Just get on with it! We don't have all bleeding day, Ringo!

Ringo: Okay, okay. George, truth or dare?

George: A dare would probably be something like strip down to my skivvies and run around the city screaming something like, "I'm Superman!"

John: *snickers* I'd pay money to see that.

Paul: I would too.

George: Hmm. I'll go with truth.

Ringo: What is the most embarrassing picture you have on your phone?

George: Um. I'd, uh, rather not answer that.

John: Hey! You can't do that! It's the rules, George. You have to answer it, and show us.

Paul: This ought to be good.

George: Can I go with a dare?

Ringo: No.

George: Please?

Ringo: No.

George: Pretty please?

Ringo: *irritated* No.

George: Please!

Ringo: No! Show me the most embarrassing picture you have on your phone!

George: Okay, fine. Here. *hands him the phone*

Ringo:

John: *leans* What? What is it? Lemme see.

Paul: I want to see it too!

Ringo: How . . . how is this embarrassing?

George: It's embarrassing because I saved it.

Ringo: My question still remains unanswered.

George: It's fanart! That's what's embarrassing about it.

John: Let me see, dag nabbit!

Ringo: Here.

John:

Paul:

John: *laughs* Hey, look at that! I made Ringo's hand into a sandwich!

Paul: And I'm stabbing jam on the table.

George: *looks as thought he's going to hide under the table*

John: How IS that embarrassing?

George: I thought it was.

Ringo: It's actually funny.

Paul: George, you're lamer than I thought. I was expecting something a lot more embarrassing.

John: Lame!

George: Sorry.

John: You're not sorry!

Paul: Shut up! Moving on!

John: My turn! Hmm. Who do I want to be my first victim?

Paul: *whispers to Ringo* I don't want to be the first.

Ringo: *whispers back* Me neither.

George: *pretends to whisper* What are you guys talking about?

Ringo: Nothing.

John: I'll choose Paul.

Paul: Noooooooooooooooo!!!

John: *smirks* Truth or dare?

Paul: Neither.

Ringo: You have to pick one.

Paul: I don't want to do a dare from you!

George: But do you want to do a truth from him either?

Paul: No . . . I'll pick the lesser of two evils; truth.

John: Mwahahahahahahaha!!!

Ringo: That doesn't sound good . . .

George: That's enough to give anyone nightmares.

John: Paul, who is the sexiest person here?

Paul: WHAT?!?!?

George: *cackles* I'm going to die laughing!!!

Ringo: Oh, boy.

Paul: Pass.

John: You have to answer. Who do you think is the sexiest? Me, George, or Ringo?

Paul: I can't answer this.

Ringo: *whispers to George* It's his immoveable heterosexuality.

George: *bangs fist on table, laughing like crazy*

John: You have to! Me, George, or Ringo?

Paul: Well, certainly not Ringo!

Ringo: I'm insulted!

John: Then who?

Paul: *hesitates* Not you either.

John: What.

George: *stops laughing* Wait. So that means . . . Me?

Paul:

George: You think I'm the sexiest person here?

John: Oh, man! This requires a slideshow! Roll the slideshow!

George: Wow. Even I can see it!

Ringo: *annoyed* You just called yourself sexy.

Paul: I'm so humiliated. I can't go on.

John: Oh, sure you can! Moving on!

George: It's my turn! Let me see. Who do I want to humiliate? *scans them all*

John: Pick me! *jumps out of seat* Pick me! Me, me, me!

George: *looks at Ringo*

John: *jumps in front of Ringo* Me!

George: *looks at Paul*

John: *jumps in front of Paul* Pick me!!!

George: *sighs* Fine. John.

John: Yay!

George: Truth or dare?

John: I'll take a dare. I'm ready!

George: Give me your phone and let me send a text to anyone in your contacts.

John: How is that a dare?!?

George: It's risky, isn't it? Hand over the phone.

John: *reluctantly hands over phone*

George: *scrolls through contacts* Wait a minute. You have the Queen in here? How is the Queen in your contacts?

John: *shrugs* We know each other.

George: I would think she'd hate you after you sent back your MBE and said the reason was "Cold Turkey" going down in the charts.

John: She got over it.

George: I don't think this is really Elizabeth, so I'm going to send her a text.

Paul: What are you going to say?

George: *smirks* I'm not saying until it's sent.

John: *looks slightly nervous*

Ringo: Is it really the Queen?

John: I'm not saying. *starts wringing his hands*

George: *typing*

Paul: This is nerve-wracking.

Ringo: Do I want to know what he's saying?

George: *typing*

John: That, uh, must be a long text.

Paul: You sound nervous, John.

John: What? No. I'm not nervous at all.

Ringo: The hitching in your voice says you are.

George: *typing*

John: God, Harrison, are you done yet?

George: *typing*

Paul: Are you sending her a novel?

Ringo: This isn't a good sign.

George: Done. *presses send*

John: Show me what you sent.

George: Here you go. *gives him the phone*

John: *face pales*

Paul: He went white! What's it say?

George: I wrote, "Do you have any idea how much money you take from me each year with taxes??? It's insane! How about you drop it a little bit for a good friend, yeah? Whenever anyone talks about you, it's not things like, 'Good old Liz, looking after this great country.' It's always, 'That hag needs to lower our outrageously high taxes! She's got so much gold plating in that palace she could probably go quite a while without needing our money. What does she do with it anyway? Swim in it?' Just a friendly little request from Long John to the Taxwoman."

Ringo: Taxwoman?

Paul: Long John?

John: George . . .

George: Yes?

John: George, that was actually the Queen.

George: No, it isn't. There's no way you'd have her phone number, if she even has a phone!

John: No. It's her.

George: You're not kidding?

John: No.

George: *sinks in chair* There goes my knighthood.

John: What do you mean YOUR knighthood?!? She doesn't know it's you! She thinks it's me! I hope you're happy.

Paul: Wait! The phone vibrated. She replied!

Ringo: What's it say?

George: I don't want to look at it.

John: I don't want to read it either.

Paul: Oh, for God's sake. I'll read it.

Ringo: What's it say?

Paul: Ringo, how many times are you going to ask that?

Ringo: Well, tell me!

Paul: It just says, "Okay."

John: She's going to lower our taxes?!?

George: I might have done us quite a bit of good.

Paul: Hmm. Well, that went over better than I expected. My turn! Ringo.

Ringo: Nooooooooooo!!!

Paul: Truth or dare?

Ringo: I'll take a dare.

John and George: *gasp dramatically*

Paul: I want you to sell this empty water bottle to George or John.

Ringo: What.

Paul: Use your best salesmanship.

Ringo: Um . . . Okay? *takes water bottle and stares at it*

George: *snorts*

John: This is the strangest dare I've ever heard.

Ringo: John.

John: Yes?

Ringo: Would you care to buy this water bottle for fifty cents?

John: No.

Ringo: Well, you see, you can do quite a lot with this empty water bottle.

John: I don't think so.

Ringo: You could make this water bottle into a rocket, you could do one of those ship-in-a-bottle things, you could even make a pencil holder!

John: Not buying it.

Ringo: For just fifty cents you could have this wonderful empty water bottle and have the enjoyment of your life! There are so many possibilities! Or you could recycle it and save a few trees.

John: Meh.

Ringo: Fifty cents, John.

John: I'm a millionaire. What should fifty cents matter to me?

Ringo: Think about all the things you could do with this water bottle. Think about it.

John: Just did and the answer is still no.

Ringo: You can make a rocket, John. A rocket. You love rockets.

John: Maybe, but still no.

Ringo: How about I throw in George's candy bar wrapper?

John: Is that supposed to make me want to buy it???

Ringo: Think about what you could do with George's wrapper!

John: I have and I don't care!

Ringo: *yells* FIFTY BLOODY CENTS!!!

John: *yells back* I BLOODY KNOW!!!

Ringo: Please just buy it.

John: Okay, fine. *slams fifty cents on the table* All I'm saying is this water bottle better be fly as a rocket.

Ringo: It will. You won't be disappointed.

George: This was the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Paul: I just got him to sell trash to John!

George: Just wow. That's all I have to say.