I watched Dot draw on the sidewalk in front of the house, my arms crossed over my chest as I observed the small motions of her tiny arms and the way the different varieties of gray chalk stained her miniscule hands.

As recorded in the days prior, little insignificant activities such as this elated Dot and made her feel an emotion called joy.

I looked back down at the notebook in my lap, scribbling a few notes.

The ringing sound of laughter brought my gaze up again, taking in Harry laying down across the concrete with a serious look on his face, although his eyes gleamed in a playful manner as he let Dot trace the outline of his large body onto the sidewalk.

My writing stopped as I stared at the father and daughter, smiling at one another as he sat himself up to look at the squiggly lines around him.

Happiness.

The state of being happy, to feel and show pleasure or contentment whether through an up turn of the corners of the lips, the crinkling by the eyes, or sometimes the soft bubbly sound of laughter that could vibrate deep from within the abdomen up to the thorax.

Stray strands of my hair blew in my face as Harry dusted the chalk dust from his sweats, crouching and resting his large palms on his knees as he watched Dot draw the features of his face onto the sidewalk, sharing endearing smiles with her.

I closed my notebook, straightening before rising from the front steps of the house and retreating back inside.

I did not understand this.

I remember feeling emotions but I do not remember the sensations, only the thoughts that were in my head during that time.

No complicated equation or scientific theory was helping me and I decided to hide in the kitchen to take a break.

"Hey," Harry said, pushing his dark gray hair up when he entered the kitchen as I brought my gaze to him.

I remember his hair was brown before when I could see colors.

Darker than mine I believe.

"Hello." I greeted, turning my head slowly to stare back out at the window where I could still see Dot, now moving her art to the empty street.

"What's on your mind neonata." Harry commented in a smooth voice, keeping his attention to the opened pantry in front of him before he bent down and retrieved a bottle of water for himself.

"I want to leave." I told him, blinking out the window.

The door to the pantry closed before he went in front of me, his tall height making him loom over me as he searched my expressionless face.

"You want to leave?" He prodded, placing his bottle down with more force than needed as I looked up at him.

"Malu it's only been three weeks -not even a month that you've been staying home and Dot has never been this happy. You make your daughter so happy just by being here, you make me happy." He said, looking quite angered despite his words as I stared at him.

"What does it feel like?" I whispered.

My question had obviously stunned him for he blinked at me momentarily before recovering.

"Happiness," I elaborated in a lost voice, wanting to learn.

Harry didn't say anything for a moment, he just looked at me with a conflicted expression before biting his lip ring, tugging it between his teeth.

"Happiness can't be really explained with just words." He breathed in a soft tone, making my shoulder slump slightly before I looked back out the window at Dot who was coloring the road now.

"I know." I simply responded, resting my chin in the palm of my hand.

I suddenly felt Harry's biceps graze the side of my arm as he stood besides me, the both of us watching our daughter through the window.

"Happiness is when you love someone, and they love you back." He suddenly said in his deep, slow voice, making me turn to look at him with a creased brow.

"Happiness is when you wake up someone's arms in the morning. Happiness can be petting puppies or eating chocolate. It feels warm, and nice, like a hug." He continued to explain, the bob of his apple's adam catching my gaze before traveling up to observe the sharpness of his jawline and the attractive masculine features from his side view.

"Happiness is being able to watch the ones you love grow up," He said, eyes trained on Dot as I followed his gaze and looked at her as if I was looking at her for the first time.

"And happiness is being able to grow old with the ones you love." Harry suddenly added, reaching out and placing his hand over mine only for me to simply pull away.

I still did not understand.

"I want to leave. I cannot comprehend this no matter how much I try." I cut in, turning with an impatient look as his jaw locked.

"Well then stop trying Malu. Stop trying and just feel. Stop overthinking-" He grit out in frustration, piercing light gray eyes on me.

"I am not overthinking I am being practical, something you are not. I am not the same and you fully well know that. I am not her." I firmly stated.

"Stop it. Stop fucking saying it like that wasn't you. This is still you, you are not separate people." Harry snapped at me, the pure anger now on full display across his face as I held my ground.

"We are. Whatever hope you have needs to stop and it needs to stop here." I calmly replied, not flinching when Harry hit the nearest item to him in frustration, the bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter spiralling and crashing to the ground as he glared at me.

"Shut up! I will never give up on you! Not until I'm dead I will never stop loving you no matter how much you push me or your daughter away! Why can't you just fucking see that Malu!" He yelled out in rage, raising his voice until it was the only defeaning sound in the room as he glared down at me, his shoes crunching against the broken porcelain on the ground when he neared me as I felt my hands ball into tight fists at my sides.

"I cannot begin to even comprehend the way your mind works!" I finally exploded, my heart racing and face warming as a strange sensation overtook my entire being, making Harry pause to stare at me with a slackened jaw at my outburst.

"Maybe I do not want to feel emotions if all they do is cloud your senses and completely blind you! They blind you from the truth and the truth of the matter is that your attempts towards me are and forever will be in vain! Why can you just not accept that!" I shouted at him, huffing as my balled fists shook and I looked away, trying to recompose myself as I turned so my back was facing him, wondering as to why my heart would not start racing.

Harry didn't say anything, just reached out and quickly captured my wrist in his large hand making me jerk back, only for his grip to tighten.

"Do not touch me right now! I am so- I'm so-" I began with a yell, gritting my teeth and furrowing my brows before my whole face immeidatly slackened when I looked up at Harry, staring back into his vividly green eyes.

Green.

They were no longer gray.

"You're mad." Harry breathed out in a calm tone, his breathing slightly ragged like mine as he kept me under his hold while he searched my face.

I gawked up at him, for the first time in years absolutely speechless as I managed to close my mouth in an attempt to recompose yourself.

"What you felt was anger." He said, his voice deep and firm as I blinked at him with wide eyes, not daring to say anything.

"You know what that means..." He trailed off, letting me go with a small hint of a dimpled smile forming over his face as I stared at him.

"What does it mean." I asked, swallowing as my anger subsided into an unsettling sensation, my body, mind, and thoughts going through uncharted territory as Harry placed his hands over the counter, taking in a deep breath before looking back at me with those glimmering emerald eyes.

"It means hope."

**

The weeks followed and I made sure to record down the sensations I felt with any newly discovered emotions.

Anger.

When feeling this emotion my adrenal glands are in motion along with my stress hormones, giving my body a burst of energy and strength along with increased heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, etc.

Although difficult to admit, Harry was right.

I needed to just take my time and not think too much.

That was very difficult.

I found myself only taking notes after I felt the sensations, not during.

Most of my time was spent in the living room since the walls were a calming olive tone.

Green was the only color I could currently see at the moment and it relaxed me.

I also spent my time with Dot.

"I believe I am not doing this right." I noted in an observational tone, making her giggle lightly.

"You're doing good." She reassured me with a laugh.

"The head positioning is incorrect." I said, resting my face on top of her hair, my arms stiffly around her small body as she hugged me back, squeezing me tight.

"We have Paella or Zuppa e salsa, which one do you want Princesa." Harry peeked his head into the room, smiling to himself when he found my arms awkwardly wrapped around Dot.

"Paella! Paella!" She cheered, jumping up and down vigorously with excitement making me retract away to stare at her.

"Why do you always choose the Spanish dishes Princesa, you hurt daddy." Harry teased with a subtle pout of his pierced lips, making her cover her face and laugh as he leaned against the doorframe, tattooed muscles straining underneath his shirt before his green eyes shifted to me.

"Daddy, I taught mommy how to hug." Dot happily informed, looking between me and him as she insistently pointed at me while I sat on the floor with a lost expression.

"Oh you did now did you?" Harry drawled in a raspy voice, keeping his gaze on me as a smirk spread across his face.

"Yeah, show him mommy!" She urged, getting up to jump up and down with enthusiasm as I blinked at her.

I raised my arms to her before she shook her head.

"No, give a hug to daddy." She requested, pointing towards the tall Italian man who lingered at the doorway with an expectant look.

My eyes widened slightly as I looked down at my hands before getting up from the floor and raising my arms out, glancing up to lock gazes with his as Harry smirked and did the same, bringing his arms out for me as well.

With a slow, calculated inhale I approached him, making my way across the room and keeping my arms out in front of me like a toddler, his eyes never leaving mine before I slowly wrapped around my arms around his well built frame, blinking and maintaining a small amount of space between our bodies.

"I do not- I do not believe I am doing this correctly." I swallowed, frowning slightly before he decreased the gap between us until it was nonexistent, bring his hand on the back of my head to gently push my face against his broad chest as he nuzzled the side of my neck, breathing me in.

"A plus!" Dot clapped from the side as Harry held me to him, my arms slowly winding up and wrappihg around his toned waist as I closed my eyes at the feel of being close to him.

I made sure to write the sensation of hugging Dot and Harry down afterwards.

For it was an experience like no other.

That night as I changed into my night wear, Harry ruffled his mess of brown hair, intently watching me with a thoughtful expression as he rested his face against the pillows of his bed while I made my way to my own.

"You can sleep here if you want." He offered, his deep voice catching my attention as I turned to face him.

"I am sleeping here." I tilted my head to the side in confusion.

"I meant next to me." He reiterated, making sure to scoot to the side, leaving an empty space besides him as he patted the mattress.

I simply shook my head.

"I will decline your offer." I told him, settling down in my own bed and going under the covers as he watched me, his tattooed, shirtless, toned hard body splayed across the white sheets across from me.

"Your loss neonata. I am quite the cuddler." I heard him chuckle in the dark when he turned the lights off as I blinked up at the ceiling.

I may have found the reason as to why people enjoyed hugs.

But I could not find a reason as for me to lay besides Harry, so in conclusion, it was unnecessary.

AN: We still got one more chapter to go my friends.