"I didn't have it in myself to go with grace, and you're the hero flying around, saving face. And, if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, look at how my tears ricochet."

~my tears ricochet by Taylor Swift~

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: May was hell for me, personally, but things are getting better now. FINALLY an update.

Happy pride month!

Please make sure to comment. This chapter is fun:)

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, weapons, and other mature themes

⭒⭒⭒

Third Person POV

Kenny and Kyler stand opposite of Sensei Odell as Sensei Silver and the rest of the class watch.

"Ready to try again, Mr. Payne?" Silver asks the boy. Kenny stands up, bows, and steps onto the mat. "Mr. Park, a new strategy, perhaps?"

"I don't know, Sensei. I might need a new follower," Kyler smiles smugly.

"We'll see for ourselves. Line up," Silver replies curtly.

The boys get into formation.

"Fighting stance. Begin."

Kyler speaks up, "Just follow me-"

"No," Kenny argues immediately. 

"What'd you say?" Kyler asks.

"We need a change in leadership."

Kyler laughs, "You think you can do better?"

"Yeah, watch me." Kenny pushes Kyler back.

Kyler reaches for Kenny, "Oh, yeah?" Kenny blocks him. "Oh, you come for the king? You better not miss-"

Kenny punches Kyler in the mouth.

Kyler steps back in shock before deciding to wrestle Kenny. 

Sensei Odell intervenes, "All right, enough!"

Kenny pushes Kyler into the senseoi before rushing over, jumping on Kyler's back, and kicking Sensei Odell in the face. 

He turns back to Silver, "Point."

"Winner," Silver smiles wickedly.

⭒⭒⭒

Sensei Kim Da-Eun walks around the girls waiting to fight, "Will no one accept the challenge?"

Tory looks at Devon, "We will."

They stand, bow, and face opposite of their sensei.

"Fighting stance."

"Ais!"

Devon watches Tory. Tory commands, "Go left!"

They fight her, but Sensei Kim Da-Eun takes over, fighting them both quickly. When she knocks Devon down, she turns to Tory. Tory attacks quickly.

Her sensei directs her attention back to Devon. Tory throws herself back in the mix as she defends Devon, not wanting to leave her behind. 

Their sensei kicks Tory in the face as Tory lands on Devon protectively. 

Sensei Kim Da-Eun scowls, "If you had sacrificed your pawn, you might have scored that point."

"There are no points in the real world," Tory argues.

Piper smiles slightly to herself from the sidelines. 

"But there are in this exercise. So, you lose," her sensei says smugly.

Tory helps Devon up. She looks at the blonde, "So close. You could have let her get me, you know."

"I wouldn't have been a very good leader if I did," Tory replies.

They share a look of respect for each other after fighting forever to work in-sync.

⭒⭒⭒

Later that night, Tory and Piper cuddle on the couch as they sit and watch American Idol reruns with Brandon and Tory's mom. 

Tory smiles to herself as she holds her girlfriend close. She's finally free to be herself in her home. And, while each karate battle is hard with Sensei Kim Da-Eun, Sensei Silver, and Sensei Kreese, this one night makes her feel weightless.

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

Once Moxie ended, I left them sleeping on the couch to get home. I'm exhausted, but I really want to be home so Carmen knows how much I appreciate the room.

The movie was perfect, though. There's something so therapeutic about knowing I'm not alone.

I helped Eva pick out an outfit, Liv and Jai saw The Lorax, and I got to watch Moxie after a long day of karate, therapy, and climbing up a huge chain to prove a point. Today has felt like five days in one.

I walk in, and Miguel turns to me from the couch, "Hey."

"Hey," I walk over to sit with him. "What are you watching?"

"I have no idea," he shrugs. "Whatever this is."

I look at the screen. An Australian voice narrates a whale swimming in the water. "Animal Planet, maybe?"

"Maybe," he shrugs. "I'm too tired to look for the remote, so this is what we have."

"I used to watch this all the time with my dad," I say as I settle in comfortably. "It came on every night before bedtime. He'd sit me on his lap in his big, red recliner and turn it on."

"I wish I could have met your dad," Miguel admits.

"I think my dad and your mom would have been the best parenting combination," I agree.

"My sista from another mista," he says in a goofy, feminine voice. I laugh.

"You're tired, aren't you?" I ask.

"Yeah," he sighs. "I just couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" I turn to fully look at him.

Miguel shrugs as he adjusts his position, "I don't know." I know he's lying. "Okay, fine. Training today made me nervous."

I hesitate, worried it was something I did or said. "Why?"

"Because my legs refuse to work the way they used to." I frown. "I always knew it was a possibility, but I didn't know it would be this rough months later."

"You beat Aisha today," I argue.

"I think she went easy on me because of the injury," he shakes his head. "I miss being on top. I miss being normal. I miss karate being fun. It hasn't been since... well, since Coyote Creek."

I think about it for a moment. "That was a year ago."

"I know... I just don't love it anymore."

My heart feels heavy, because I know exactly what that feels like.

"Maybe I would if things were different, but it's not my main priority anymore. I'm focused on college and the baby and Sam and you and... I want to take down Cobra Kai, of course, but once we do, I don't know what I'll do."

"I get it," I nod. "Karate isn't the same for me, either. I know I'm good at it, and I enjoy the rush it gives me. But, I think it's done much more bad than good. Especially since it's almost impossible to separate it from memories of Kreese or Silver."

"I can only imagine," Miguel says. 

"You're lucky you got out when you did," I tell him.

"Yeah, I was lucky to be in a coma-"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," I frown guiltily.

"I know what you meant. We really didn't have a normal high school experience, did we?"

"This isn't normal?" I crack a small smile.

"God. I hate my spine," he throws his head back with a groan.

"I hate cancer," I add.

"I hate Cobra Kai," he continues.

"And Silver."

"And Kreese."

I look down in dismay.

I think about it all. I hate that nothing about my high school years has been normal. Winning prom queen didn't take away the fact that I lost my dad, moved away and changed schools, was sexually harrassed and assaulted, joined a karate war, was manipulated, was orphaned, almost lost my best friend, had two major breakups, cut off my other best friend, and continue to live in a world where Cobra Kai dominates. 

"I went to see him. Kreese."

Miguel glances over at me, "What? When?"

"Not long after we got back from Mexico." I take in a deep breath. "I was desperate to know if any of what he did and said was real. I wanted a sense of self back, but then he confirmed some of my biggest fears: he didn't care and none of it was real. He still wanted to manipulate me, this time against Silver."

My eyes are glossy as I try to hold in tears.

"I.. I want to hate him. I want to feel the kind of hatred I have for Silver for Kreese," I say, "but he messed with my head with Adam and Walker and my mom so... so I'm inclined to see good that isn't there." I take in a deep breath and let it out. "I'm sorry. I should have talked about this today in therapy."

"No, no, I'm here," Miguel assures me.

"It's not your burden," I argue.

"Nothing about this is a burden. I know a bit about Kreese, remember? I'm here for support," he smiles.

I take his words to heart. I hesitate. "Have you talked to Robby at all?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I talked to him last night."

"Oh, shit, is that why it was so weird between you two today?" Miguel realizes.

"You noticed that, too?" I ask nervously.

"Uh, yeah," he says as if it's obvious.

"Oh."

"What happened?" Miguel wonders.

"He wanted to get back together."

"Aaand you said...?"

"'I have to focus on myself,'" I admit.

Miguel sits up to really look at me, "What does that mean?"

"It means... I'm finally feeling okay on my own. I'm not scared of getting hurt again and not being able to recover. I'm finding self-love."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Right... So is this a never getting back together situation?" he wonders.

"I don't know," I say. "I just want to be comfortable enough on my own to feel okay again. Never say never."

Miguel grins excitedly and sings like Justin Bieber, "Never say neverrr."

"Idiot," I fluff his hair and stand up. "I'm tired. Goodnight."

"Just like that?" he wonders.

"You're tired, too. Stop singing and go to bed," I tell him.

"Neverrr," he sings again.

"Goodnight, Miguel."

"I will fight this foreverrrrrrr!"

⭒⭒⭒

I think I'm going crazy.

It's four am. I'm staring at my ceiling. I haven't slept more than a half hour. My mind is too alive. 

My whole body pounds: my chest, my head, my feet. 

I can't get Kreese out of my head. I can't get him to leave me alone. I can't seem to let go of what he taught me.

I'm too fucked up to know what he said that was real or fake or wise or demented. All I know is that the memories haunt me.

And those memories bleed into ones of Silver. Kicking me. Punching me. Manipulating me.

I tense without even realizing just at the thought of that night in the dojo.

I hold my pillow as I lay in bed with tears streaming down my face. I feel like I can't move. My mind won't even let me decide to try. 

I wait. I wait and wait for the moment I'll fall asleep. Maybe I won't dream. Maybe I can stop thinking about all of this. 

Maybe not.

⭒⭒⭒

The old dojo. The creed on the wall, the dirty mats, the mirrors.

"Trust Terry like I do, child," Kreese appears behind me.

I step away from him, "No."

"We only have your best interests at heart," Kreese states.

"You don't," I say as I try to find the door.

There is no door. The room is all mirrors. 

"Let me go," I plead as Kreese steps closer and closer to me.

"You're strong because of me. After your mother, after Hansen, after it all-"

"I should have been getting away from you," I say shakily as I reach the mirror boundary.

My hand goes through it. Kreese seems to reach for me. I don't hesitate to follow my arm through the mirror.

The back room of the dojo. The old punching bag, the dark walls, the mats I used to sleep on.

"His star." My blood runs cold. Silver. "You could have been one."

A trophy appears in the tall man's grasp. Every inch he moves closer to me, I move away.

There are no mirrors this time. No windows. No doors. No escape.

"You're a stubborn little bitch," Silver grins evilly. "I don't know how many lessons I have to teach you to make you stay away from interfering with my success."

I look around him, trying to ignore every word he says as best I can. I fail miserably. I just need to find an exit.

"Look at me!" Silver shouts as he throws the trophy at the wall right beside me.

My chest burns. My lungs burn. 

"A man can't breathe, he can't fight."

My vision is blurry. A figure appears next to Silver. I have no doubt it's Kreese.

"The enemy of your enemy is your friend."

"A man can't stand, he can't fight."

Silver pushes me down and steps on my ankle. I swear I'm back behind the skating rink for a second. Pain floods my body as I cry out before I even know it.

"The moment those tears leave your eyes, you lose," Kreese taunts me.

"I'm only human," I sob on the ground.

"A man can't see, he can't fight."

A hand wraps around my throat and lifts me back upright. My vision starts to cloud. I feel everything starting to go dark.

Kreese holds me by the neck, "Now who's the loser?"

⭒⭒⭒

I feel pathetic. I feel disgusting. I feel so weak.

My head hangs over the toilet as I release all my stress and my food. My face is hot and red with tears I can't even control.

This is hell. Janice, Kreese, Adam, Silver. They put me here.

I try each day to be better. Some days I feel invincible. Others, I remember what happened to who I once was. I used to have a life that didn't revolve around karate. Then, it became all I am. 

Now, I'm about to turn eighteen, and I don't know who I am.

⭒⭒⭒

"He's a fucking idiot."

I sit in Yasmine's car with her, Sam, and Moon in the Miyagi-Do parking lot.

"He'll never learn. What the fuck is wrong with him?" Yasmine complains.

I just told her what Demetri said yesterday, and she's the angriest I've ever seen her. 

"God. He sucks!" Yasmine continues. "I mean, I break up with him for being misogynistic to you, he tells me he wants me back, and then he continues to be misogynistic to you?! Meanwhile, I'm having trouble getting back out there on Tinder because I still give a shit about him for some unknown reason."

"Yas, all the Tinder guys are desperate-"

"And, all the Tinder guys are desperate and ugly!" Yasmine interrupts Moon. She pouts, "I wish I liked girls. They seem so much easier."

"They are," Moon smiles absentmindedly before going back to side-hugging Yasmine to comfort her.

"So, what are you doing here if you're so pissed?" Sam asks as she tries to understand the plan.

"I'm walking into the karate yard with Zion to make him just as pissed," Yasmine explains.

"More than yesterday? Won't this make it worse?" Sam wonders.

"Boo-hoo; he can cry about it," Yasmine replies before I can.

"This isn't my priority right now," I admit to Sam, "but it hurts his fragile ego, so why not?"

"There he is," Yasmine points out as the boy walks past with Eli, Mitch, and Chris. "How does my lipgloss look?"

"Great." "Glossy." "Perfect."

"Good. Let's go," Yasmine opens her door.

I get out on the same side as her in the back. She grabs my hand and waltzes to the outside entrance and around back. I let her do what she needs.

"Uh-oh," I hear Bert mutter as he steps back a couple of feet when we walk in.

I expect my eyes to land on Demetri's face, but instead they see Aisha. My mood drops at her angry expression. 

"What are you doing?" Aisha walks over to me, keeping her distance from Yasmine.

"Um, we're getting back at Demetri," I lower my voice despite them all being far enough away.

"Really?" Aisha looks over at Yasmine in disdain.

Yasmine leans over to me, "Who's this?"

"Aisha," she turns to Yasmine in offense.

Yasmine turns back to Moon and Sam with a whisper, "Who?"

"Aisha. We used to bully her," Moon looks at the girl apologetically.

"She gave you the front wedgie," I explain more.

Yasmine's eyes go wide, "Oh! I thought you moved and were long gone."

"I'm back," Aisha narrows her eyes at the girl. "Don't cross me."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Yasmine says. She actually looks intimidated for once.

"Yas," Moon whispers as she walks to the other side of Yasmine and grabs her hand. I take the opportunity to drop my hand from Yasmine's. "Don't you have something you want too say to Aisha?"

The blonde looks at Aisha with a slight frown, "I don't want to."

"It was years of torment, Yas," Sam joins in.

Yasmine glances over at Demetri. She takes in a deep breath. "Fine." She fully faces Aisha now. "I'm sorry I called you a pig. And, that I started the rumor that your mom was a whale. And, that I called you a freak. A lot." 

Her tone is soft for once. I stare at Yasmine in surprise before turning back to Aisha.

"Thanks," Aisha mutters. "And, I... I'm not sorry for the front wedgie. You kind of deserved it."

Yasmine puts back on her mean girl face and flips her hair, "I guess I did."

I look between them with a smile. I never thought this could happen.

"So, are you two okay?" Moon wonders.

Aisha shakes her head, "The apology was nice and all, but it'll take more than that for me to be okay with you." 

Yasmine frowns slightly, "I get that. I am trying to be better, though."

"It's true. She only called one person a 'bitch' yesterday at the mall," Moon joins in.

Aisha half-smiles wearily as I try to understand both points of view. Yasmine has grown on me, sure, but Aisha has been by my side practically since I got here. I wish I'd stop comparing them.

"Everyone, fall in," Chozen emerges from the Miyagi-Do hut with a bo staff.

"Okay," Yasmine speaks up, "bye. Have fun with all of... this."

"Bye," I say before getting caught off-guard with a hug from Yasmine.

She holds it for a second to make sure Demetri is looking. Then, she pulls away. "Let's go, Moon."

As Moon and her walk out, I turn back to Demetri. He looks really upset. I look at Sam triumphantly. She gives me an unsure smile as we move into formation.

"You are not good Yanbaru Kuina," Chozen begins as we stand in front of him. "Though. Must apologize to Zion. She is not a coward for trying. At least she tried."

Chozen smiles slightly at me. I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. I even dare to look at the others. They don't give me looks of hatred for once. They also don't stay far away from me today. My heart rate speeds up when I realize that some of them actually look like they respect me now.

Robby catches my gaze and gives me a small, proud smile. I smile back for just a second before focusing on Chozen again.

"The rest of you, try harder. Snakes will take you down one by one. I have tried to tell you what you must do, but you do not listen. You must learn to adapt. Or, soon you will be extinct. Take new eggs. Try again."

We all look at the carton of eggs on the deck. Sam walks over to hand them out to us. I can feel the disappointment in the air. I rarely had this problem under Kreese, but maybe that's because it was all another manipulation.

"But, this time, roof off limits," Chozen announces.

Once I get my egg, I glance around the yard for another advantage point that isn't the roof and that nobody has tried yet.

"Sensei Toguchi's real cryptic like Mr. LaRusso, but aggressive like Sensei Lawrence," I hear Demetri tell the others from behind me.

"It's like the hardest part of both styles," Chris agrees.

"Can't wait to get our asses kicked again," Mitch states.

As I look around the dojo for some advantage point, Anthony speaks up, "Uh, no, no, um... Guy- Guys, wait. He said the snakes will take us down one by one. Right? Just like he took us down one by one. But... But what if we weren't a bunch of ones? What if we were..."

"Together," Sam realizes. He makes a lot of sense.

"Yeah, exactly. Like a raiding party in Dungeon Lords," Anthony smiles. He lost me there.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I mean, even if you're on level eighty-five, you can't mount an attack on the grand realm alone," Demetri continues. I swear everything he says pisses me off somehow.

"Exactly. You need a team. Everybody has a special role," Eli nods.

"The only way we win is if we work together. As one," Anthony decides.

I glance over at Demetri wearily. I don't know about this.

"Let's try it," Miguel states.

They all move over to the sparring deck. I follow Miguel as I try to keep an open mind.

"Let's put our eggs in here," Sam grabs a basket from the bench of supplies. 

"Are you going to be okay to work with him?" Aisha whispers to me as she glares at Demetri. "I don't even know if I want to."

"It's for an exercise. If this is how we beat Cobra Kai, then so be it," I frown.

"Okay," Demetri takes charge immediately. I regret everything. "We need offense, defense, look outs, and a basket handler."

"I'll be by the basket," Anthony volunteers.

"Great," Demetri nods. "Chris, Nate, Little Red, Sam, Robby, and I will be defense."

"I'd rather do offense," Sam speaks up.

"Me too," Robby adds.

"Okay, sure," Demetri agrees as if he'll allow it.

I glance at Aisha and whisper in reference to Demetri, "Who died and made him king?"

"We need someone else on defense," Eli states. "I thought offense could be me, Miguel, Aisha, Bert, and Zion." I look at Eli in surprise for even including me this time.

"And the rest can be lookouts and alternates," Demetri finishes.

"I'll switch with Robby and Sam," Miguel half-raises his hand to volunteer. He gives a nod to Robby. It really is nice to see them getting along.

"Good. We all have our assignments," Eli looks at us for confirmation.

"Put the basket in the center of all of us. We don't have much time left," I speak up as I help Anthony move it carefully to a secure spot.

"Thanks," he says as he nervously stands at his post. I'm glad he chose a job that won't get him hurt, but he definitely needs to learn hands-on karate at some point rather than just strategic karate.

"Stay in a circle and protect it," Miguel tells us.

"Be ready for anything," I add as I give Aisha and Sam a smile. I'm ready to take him down this time as a real team.

Demetri hesitates, "Wait, are we sure we want to put all of our eggs into one basket? You're specifically not supposed to do that. It seems kinda risky." I see him glancing at me.

"It's a risk we should take," I counter.

Aisha backs me up, "We won't beat Cobra Kai by playing it safe."

"This is gonna work," Anthony says as he stands by his sister eagerly. I'm happy that he's making bold decisions.

It's then that a loud whistle rings through the dojo, and everyone shifts in fear. For some reason, I'm not scared right now.

"Oh, no. Oh, no, oh, God," Mitch starts to whimper like a baby.

"Get it together, Penis Breath," Eli rolls his eyes.

I smile in agreement with him, mainly to myself. I think he catches me smiling, though, because he smiles back.

"Has anyone seen him yet?" Sam asks as she glances around slightly.

"Lookouts?" Demetri calls out.

"Why aren't we all looking for him?" I ask as if it's obvious.

"Yeah," Miguel questions, "why aren't we?"

Demetri scoffs, "Because everyone should have a job-"

"Oh, shit, there he is," Aisha interrupts him as Chozen runs up to us with a bo staff in hand.

"Ready?" Miguel yells.

Chozen brings the bo up and right in front of our human wall. Eli blocks the bo. Robby kicks it away.

Chozen swings it back at them as they narrowly dodge it. I see Anthony pick up the eggs. Robby and Eli both go at Chozen, somehow working together. 

I rush over, and Demetri holds out his arm in front of me, "Stay on your side."

I push his hand to the side as I rush over and kick Chozen in the back of the knee in hopes of him losing his balance.

Instead, he swings the bo back at me. I duck just before it hits me. Instead, it hits Miguel as he blocks it, grabs it, and gives me time to stand up. I notice Robby helping Anthony move the eggs as the fight continues.

"Grab the bo!" Eli calls out.

Everyone swarms the bo. Even Demetri rushes to it as the clump migrates. I see Anthony all alone. Then, Chozen appears somehow away from where he was, and I'm the last defender between him and Anthony with the eggs.

"Zion!" Sam yells as a distraction. Chozen turns his head slightly.

"Go. I've got the eggs," Robby comes up from behind me.

I smile at him thankfully before rushing over to fight with Sam. She blocks and grabs his arm to hold him still.

"Cover them!" I yell over my shoulder before kicking Chozen while he's restricted for once.

He shrugs her off before kicking me back. I find myself beside Demetri now with a wide window of opportunity for Chozen behind him. I move past Demetri to get to Anthony and the eggs before Chozen can. I try to ignore Demetri's glower.

Everyone takes on Chozen in pairs now, hoping to catch him off-guard. It's then that the wall reforms, and we stand strong together.

When he moves one way, so do we. When he moves the other way, so do we.

We stand across from each other and wait for his next move. It's a long time we stand in a stalemate before Chozen speaks up.

"Snake concede."

A feeling of relief washes over me. We all turn back to Anthony excitedly. I look at these people and feel like for the first time I actually belong. 

Everyone cheers and jumps on each other in a big hug. They actually pat me on the back, too.

"Owww." We all turn to the groan of pain.

I'm dangerously close to rolling my eyes at the sight of Demetri on the ground in pain, clutching his shoulder.

"Demetri, what happened?" Chris asks first.

Eli goes over to help him stand up. Demetri still holds his shoulder carefully.

Demetri frowns, "While you were fighting, Zion shoved me down. I think my shoulder is dislocated."

Everyone looks at me before I even process what he said. I hurt his shoulder? I didn't push him; I don't even remember making physical contact with him. 

"What the hell, Zion?" Mitch is the first to turn on me. The looks I recieve now are anything but celebratory now.

I shake my head, "No, I didn't... There's no way I-"

My voice falters when I see Miguel giving me a disapproving look, as if he almost believes this.

"You dislocated your shoulder by falling?" Aisha asks. She's seemingly the only one not buying his bullshit.

"She kicked me to the ground and tried to make my shoulder hit the deck. Intentionally. Then, she kicked me while I was down to ensure it. It's prone to getting hurt again after it was broken before," Demetri glances between Eli and I. "She knew it, too."

"What?" I ask in disbelief. "How would I have known that? I didn't even touch you during that fight."

"She lies again!" Demetri cries wolf.

"I'm not lying!" I exclaim.

To my dismay, almost everyone believes him. I feel rage bubbling inside, rage that I felt when I was in Cobra Kai. I remember the nights of staying up late just imagining getting back at Demetri for everything. I really, really don't want to go back to those feelings.

"Chūi!" Chozen calls out before I can argue again. "Everyone step back." We all do so. Chozen stands in front of Demetri, "Dislocation I can fix."

"No!" Demetri panics. This confirms that I know he's lying. He saves his lie, "It hurts really bad. My parents have great health insurance, so I'll ice it and go to a doctor later."

"Can fix here. Let me see," Chozen reaches out again.

Demetri steps away, "With all due respect, Sensei Toguchi, I don't consent to this." 

I see a confused Eli in my peripheral vision. I think everyone is confused. 

"Will not force it," Chozen nods sadly before turning back to us. "Zion, take a break, yes? We all take break."

It hits me that even Chozen thinks I did it. Somehow. He's obviously lying.

Most people in the dojo sit with him on the edge of the deck to make sure he's okay. Demetri clutches his shoulder as if in pain.

"At least apologize," Chris tells me in disappointment.

"This is insane," I mutter, hopefully loud enough for them to hear.

Miguel glances between me and Demetri as if he's torn. It pains me that Miguel might actually believe Demetri.

Aisha is the only one still beside me. Even Sam is cautiously checking on Demetri while giving me mixed looks. 

"At least there's one other person not buying it," Aisha mutters as we walk over to sit in the shade.

My eyes land on the other half of the deck where Robby sits on his phone, away from the Demetri drama. I don't know why even this simple thing makes my heartrate speed up. I look away quickly before he can notice, though.

"I don't even have to ask," Aisha frowns. "I know you didn't do it. Demetri has always been a pain in the ass. I thought, maybe, at least, he would be honest enough to speak the truth."

"Don't give him that much credit," I counter. "He's so fucking annoying. He's a liar, a manipulator, a whiner, a know-it-all... The list goes on and on. And, I was finally feeling okay in the dojo, like I kind of belong. Finally."

Aisha takes out an apple from her bag, "Well, now, I'm kind of wishing you really had done that. Give him a real wound."

I think about everything Yasmine has told me. It all comes down to his ego and his sexism. He knows he's not nearly as good of a fighter as Eli or Miguel or Robby, but he does think he has other things to brag about.

"Come on," I tell Aisha as I stand up.

She puts down her apple, "What are we doing? What are you doing?"

I don't answer as I walk straight over to Demetri and his annoying group of friends.

"What do you want?" Nate asks me in the sassiest tone I think I've ever heard from him.

"Yeah, he doesn't need you over here," Mitch tells me as if he's Demetri's guard.

When they all look at me in hostility to defend Demetri, I know what I have to do.

"Demetri, I'm sorry."

Everyone looks at me in shock. Especially Demetri.

"I'm sorry that you are weak enough to be able to fake a shoulder injury from a simple fall and have people believe it."

His face falls at the realization. 

"I'm sorry that you decided that it's okay to insult my parents multiple times after you know what happened. I'm sorry that I didn't give you more than just a black eye to make you understand why I did it."

I tower over Demetri as he sits with the others as they look between us wearily. The other guys try to speak over me; I don't let them.

"I'm sorry that you're desperate for a girlfriend. I'm sorry that you think making sexist comments will win girls over. I'm sorry that you think misogynistic comments will make you cool. I'm sorry that you look like one of those balloon men at a car dealership whenever you fight. I'm sorry that it took you so long to not dress like a twelve-year-old boy. I'm sorry that you have no stamina - in more ways than one. I'm sorry that Yasmine didn't break up with you sooner. I'm sorry that Yasmine got sick of hearing your endless nerd references nobody cares about. I'm sorry that Yasmine got tired of you whining and complaining about everything. I'm sorry that she doesn't buy into your bullshit anymore."

Demetri sits stunned. I feel all eyes on me, but this time I'm glad they are.

Chris tries to mediate, "Hold on, how do you know what Yasmine thinks?" 

"We're good friends now," I smile wickedly. "Girls tell each other everything."

A few of the guys exchange panicked looks. I keep my focus on Demetri.

"But, I think what really put Yasmine over the edge... was that you never did."

The silence that follows is deafening. The look on Demetri's face is priceless.

Then, Aisha laughs, and the guys begin to argue as they look between me and Demetri.

Demetri tries to defend himself, "Y-Y-You can't say that!"

"Why not?" I question. "It's okay for you to talk about my sex life, but when I talk about yours it's wrong?" My eyes narrow at him.

Demetri stands up. I smile brightly. I see everyone else realize it, too.

Demetri scowls me as he stands perfectly on his own, "This isn't a feminism thing. This is for your venegan-"

"What happened to your shoulder?" Nate asks.

I see the moment Demetri notices he stood up by leaning on his "hurt" shoulder and tries to cover it. I see his friends step away in distrust. Even Eli looks between us in surprise.

"I didn't- She didn't- I mean, she- She's the liar!" Demetri shouts at me.

"I only say what I believe," I tell him. "I think you're a misogynistic piece of shit."

"I'm not afraid to hit you," Demetri hesitates as he gets into a fighting stance.

I smile slightly, "You want me to beat your ass for, what, the tenth time? No, I don't need to punch you. Everyone sees now what I've always known."

"What's going on here?!" Daniel's voice rings in my ears.

I turn around slightly to see Daniel and Johnny walking over to us in a panic. Chozen comes out of the Miyagi-Do shelter at the yelling. Daniel steps between us.

"We're supposed to be a team," Daniel scolds me and Demetri like children.

"She's psychotic!" Demetri yells as he points at me.

Everyone else starts yelling at each other, too, with Aisha over my shoulder.

"All I did was tell the truth!" I exclaim.

"QUIET!" Johnny yells.

We all shut up immediately. I look at Demetri with a hatred there isn't a word for yet. Eventually, we turn to look at Johnny.

"You two need to work out this rivalry," Johnny demands.

"No chance," Demetri shakes his head.

"I didn't start this rivalry," I argue, "but I'm gonna end it."

"Guys!" Daniel sighs. "We have bigger things to deal with than this. Table it for now, okay?"

I can't stand the idea of Demetri getting away with this. I don't want to drop it, but I know that my goal in this dojo is to defeat Cobra Kai. I have to remember that Demetri is just a distraction.

"Yeah, listen up!" Johnny yells. "Fall in. Zion over here and Alexopoulos over there." He puts us on separate ends of the dojo. I catch Johnny nodding at me approvingly for a minute before masking it.

I stand near Miguel, Sam, and Aisha and far away from Demetri.

"I'm sorry," Miguel whispers to me. "I should never have believed Demetri's lie."

"I know you are," I tell him. I know Miguel always wants to believe the best in people.

"I wasn't sure, either," Sam adds. "I didn't really know what to do."

"It seemed like something I would've done," I admit. It hurt a little, but I know they mean well.

"I knew all along," Aisha brags.

"Okay," Daniel addresses us as we stand in our lines, "we have a big announcement regarding Cobra Kai."

"Yeah, so, stop your side conversations and listen up," Johnny tells us.

Johnny and Daniel look at each other nervously. My heart drops into my stomach worriedly. 

"They're entering another tournament," Johnny announces. I look at Miguel to see if he knows what they're talking about.

"But, not just any tournament. The Sekai Tekai," Daniel continues. My head pounds.

"Wait," Demetri interrupts, "I've heard of that before. Isn't that...?"

"An international competition," Daniel nods. I feel nauseous. "So, if Cobra Kai wins-"

"They go global," Chozen finishes in surprise.

"So, we're entering, too."

I look down at my hands as they shake. I can't do another competition. I can't handle Cobra Kai expanding more.

"How do you know?" Eli asks curiously. 

Daniel frowns, as if he isn't proud of it, "We talked to Kreese."

My mind spins. I don't feel good. The grass is green. The deck is brown. My shoes are grey. The dirt is brown. The grass is green. The dirt is brown. The grass is green.

Miguel turns to me with a whisper, "Zion, are you okay?" I can't respond. "Zion?" His hand touches my arm, and my eyes finally meet his in surprise.

A breath of air rushes through me as if I can finally breathe after an eternity of not.

I turn to Johnny, Daniel, and Chozen suddenly, "You can't talk to Kreese."

"We had to," Johnny frowns. "We went to the prison to see him."

"You can't trust him," I argue. I can feel all eyes on me. They burn. My face flushes in frustration.

"Yes, we can. We tricked him into-"

"You can't trick him. He knows what he's doing. You can't outsmart him," I tell them.

"I promise, it's okay," Johnny frowns.

"No," I shake my head. Desperation courses through my veins. "I thought you understood. You know what Kreese and Silver do."

Chozen interjects, "The enemy of your enemy is friend."

"You're a stubborn little bitch- and a stupid one, at that."

My head pounds harder and faster. I try to think clearly. I can't do this. I don't know how to-

"Well, perhaps we wouldn't be in this predicament if you hadn't been Kreese's pet," Demetri steps out of line to glare at me.

"You think Kreese ever cared about you, Zion?" 

"You think I chose that?" I ask him in disbelief as my legs threaten to give out.

I look at everyone and see nobody argue that they don't. Everyone must believe that I wanted this. They don't know half of the hell I went through.

"He never gave a shit about you until recently. You're one of his little weaknesses. Can you believe it? You!"

"Yeah. We do," Demetri states like it's a fact.

Panic rushes through my body. The grass is green. Miguel wears yellow. Aisha wears purple. Johnny wears red.

"That's right. Johnny Kreese was using you, Star."

"Enough fighting!" Chozen yells at us. "Now we know snakes' plan."

"We have to prepare to show the Sekai Tekai committee that we are just as qualified as Cobra Kai," Daniel states.

"Or, that Cobra Kai isn't qualified at all," Johnny adds.

"Z," Miguel gently guides me back to my spot. I can't even look at him. I'm too caught up in my own mind to focus on anything else.

"For today, you're dismissed. Get some good rest, take care of yourselves," Daniel tells us.

Somehow, my eyes refocus and land on Demetri's vengeful face. I don't even know what I'm doing until I walk into the little house and go to one of the rooms to train on my own. 

I set up the punching bag with labored breath. I have to work this out. I can't fall apart - physically or mentally.

They trusted Kreese.

Daniel objects. "You're my responsibility now. I don't want you getting hurt."

I punch the bag to let go of all my frustration.

They might as well trust Silver.

Another punch.

You can't outsmart them.

Front kick.

You can't beat them.

Another punch.

I tried. I lost. 

Another hit.

Kreese trusted Silver.

And another.

We shouldn't trust either of them.

Kick.

Unless that's a lie, too.

Punch. Over and over and over.

Everything might as well be a lie.

I bend over and lean on my knees as a sudden wave of hopelessness washes over me. I can feel the tears forming and practically falling now. I fight the urge to sit down and give up entirely. I try to control my breathing. 

I stand back up. I wipe my tears. I look down at my hands. They hurt and have a couple cuts. 

"I still do it, too, sometimes."

I turn around: Eli. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to feel relieved that I'm not the only one still taking out all my anger on a punching bag," Eli smiles slightly.

"What do you want?" I ask him, almost pleading for him to leave me alone.

"I saw you come in here after the announcement. I guess it's an understatement to say you're not happy about them talking to Kreese," he explains.

"Yeah," I nod. Tears threaten again. 

"Do you want to talk about it with someone who understands?" I actually make eye contact with him now. I guess I forgot how much Kreese hurt him, too.

I hesitate. "No." 

Eli frowns. He respects me, though, and turns to the door, "Okay."

"Wait." That's not what I really want. "I do." He turns back to me. My head pounds slightly. 

I sit on the floor and look at him nervously. I wonder if this is a good idea. I wonder if he was serious when he asked to talk about it.

Then, he sits across from me, "I just want to say I'm sorry, Zion."

I stare at him in surprise, though I try to conceal it. 

"I'm sorry for a lot of things, I know," Eli sighs, "but right now I'm sorry that I forgot how much you went through with Kreese, too. I was too caught up in my own shit at Christmas. I didn't fight for you to get away from him."

"You and Miguel tried," I remind him, "but I was too far gone."

"I should have tried more. I should have gotten over my feelings about us," Eli tells me. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me about it all."

I look down at my hands in my lap, "We weren't really on good terms." I give him grace. I try to give myself grace, too.

"I also meant that I wish you would have felt comfortable enough telling me you were going to see Robby. I'd like to think I would have understood, but something tells me I wouldn't have," he sighs in dismay. "And, that was all before Kreese, so it just went downhill from there."

It's unlike him to be so open and honest. Communication wasn't really our thing.

"I'm sorry I tried to hide it and lied," I try my hand at honesty. "I was scared of losing you. I was... I was scared of losing everyone for while. Then, I kind of did."

"And that's when Kreese got into your head. He was good at manipulating our fears, like how he convinced me I was good enough to win any fight - even the ones against Demetri."

I frown at the mention. He looks at me wearily.

"I know you hate each other, but he's my best friend - even with his faults. I left him to impress you and look cool and be everything I wasn't before."

"I get it. You were bullied for a long time. After we met, I started to change you," I frown.

"You didn't cause that. I mean, yeah, I really liked you," he smiles for a moment, "but I didn't have a grip on who I was, so I tried to become something else. Really, it was because of those bullies and Johnny. At least you encouraged me to be strong. I still think that Demetri struggles with change for the better sometimes." He pauses. "But, um, no, you never took advantage of me or tried to pressure me into anything."

I nod, slightly relaxing at his words. It's nice to finally hear him say that.

"I remember part of that one night we got drunk off our asses at my house, and I tried to start something, and you pushed me away. I remember trusting you more than ever after that, and that's why I had trouble accepting the idea of you ever cheating on me. But, Kreese helped fan like a flame after the mall fight, after I saw the texts, and at Coyote Creek. It wasn't long after that Miguel got hurt, and my life got worse. I didn't have any of my best friends," he glances at me sadly, "and I lost it. I hate everything I did back then. I got mad at my mom and dad, my grades started to slip, and I got kind of dumb tattoos." He smiles now for just a second.

"We both did," I agree as I glance at my wrist where the bird was.

"I channeled every bad feeling other people gave me into karate, and I took it out on other people who didn't really deserve it."

"I did, too," I assure him. "Except that one day with Walker." I look at him to gauge his reaction.

He grins, "Yeah, except that time with Brucks. Is it weird that I'd do that again if I could?"

"No. I'd do it again, too," I admit. 

We share a smile. It's weird but really nice.

"That was before Silver, though. I don't know how you dealt with two Kreeses," Eli shakes his head.

I tense, though I try not to show it. If he was honest, maybe I can be, too. "Silver knew exactly what to say, kind of like Kreese. But, he showed his true colors sooner. Kreese kept everything close to his chest."

"Yeah, until he made it clear that Robby was the one he wanted to be his champion and not me," Eli shrugs.

"Even then. I thought I could make him proud," I say in a quiet voice. I don't know why. I feel like maybe I'm scared to admit it.

I look at Eli. He nods slightly. I shake my head. He doesn't get it.

"Kreese was all I had," I say as my voice breaks. 

I can't look at Eli. I can't focus on anything. I look down, praying that the tears don't fall. 

"We were broken up. Miguel had fallen. Johnny never answered my calls. Robby was in juvie. Tory had her family to deal with. I tried to step away from karate after what happened," I continue. "Then, Kreese found me, and he knew... he knew just what to say to get me back."

"It was my fault," Eli frowns.

"No," I stop him. "This wasn't your fault."

"My mom kicked you out, and-"

"It wasn't your fault. Nobody knew. You didn't know. Don't blame something Kreese did on yourself." I say the words to myself, too. "Don't give him the power to make you think that."

Eli shakes his head in dismay. "Where were you living?"

"My car," I admit. "Then, the dojo." I remember the night I moved in: the night after everything with Adam. "I really thought Kreese cared about me."

"How long did you stay in the dojo?" Eli asks in surprise.

"Um," I think about it, "until Robby took me to his mom's... in January."

"A couple months?" Eli frowns.

"Yeah... I guess everything that got Robby and I together was Kreese." I look at him, "Sorry. I'll stop talking about him."

Eli shifts awkwardly, "That's okay."

"Everything Kreese did was to get Johnny back at Cobra Kai. Robby and I - and everyone else - were just collateral damage. He never really cared. And, I would know. Because he told me."

I look down in dismay. I feel horrible for trauma dumping on Eli like this, especially after having been so apart for so long, but the words just come out like vomit.

"I mean, I defended him to Mrs. LaRusso. I defended him to Johnny and Miguel. I would let him know personal thigns about my life because of how much I came to trust him. I excused his horrible actions because I thought he was protecting me." A tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly.

A wave of silence washes over us. I try to wipe away all my tears, as if he's never seen me cry before.

He speaks up timidly, "Protecting you from what?"

"Leave the girl alone," a familiar voice says firmly but not very loudly. I see a man closing his car door and standing in the rain...

"From... From..."

The door opens. Daniel looks at us in surprise, "Oh. Sorry, I didn't know you were still here." He looks down at me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lie.

Eli speaks up, "We were just... just getting ready to go." 

"I don't want to push you out," Daniel frowns.

"It's fine," I say as I stand up. Eli does, too.

I follow him out the door and to the backyard.

When we make it outside, we grab our things and then look at each other awkwardly.

"I'm sorry for getting so deep," I apologize wearily.

"Me too," he nods.

I start to walk to the parking lot. Eli follows me.

"So, uh," Eli follows me, "I hate to ask, but Demetri was my ride before I went to talk to you-"

"You need a ride?" I ask.

"Yeah, kinda," he frowns. "I can Uber if it's too weird."

"No," I assure him. "It's okay. I'll drive you." I feel a bit better after working through a lot of it with him. 

"Really?" he wonders. I nod. "Thanks."

I reach for my keys, and Eli speaks up again.

"I'm sorry about the shit Demetri pulled today. I've tried to talk to him about it all, but he's convinced you single-handedly ruined everything with him and Yasmine."

"He's the one that started making sexist-"

"I know," Eli sighs. "I think he knows it, too, but he wants to blame you because it's easier. Maybe there's a way you can actually talk to him honestly like you did with me."

"I don't care if I'm on good terms with him or not," I tell Eli unapologetically. "He doesn't respect me."

Eli just nods because he knows I'm right.

"There are so many reasons Kreese was able to do what he did," I admit. "I have to keep people like Demetri at a distance. I don't trust him."

"You trusted me again today, though, right?" Eli points out. "Who would have ever thought that?"

I unlock the car. I know he's right. But, Eli and Demetri aren't the same. Eli apologized. Eli is trying to be better. Eli and I had something before.

When we're both buckled, I pull out of the parking lot. The thought of how similar yet different this is to a year ago lingers in my head. Things seemed simpler and much less awkward. 

"Do you remember how to get there?" he asks.

"Yeah," I glance at him before back at the road. How could I forget?

The drive is quiet for a while. I contemplate so. many things, so many feelings, so many memories. They all feel so distant.

I let Eli in again, but there's still so much unresolved between us. I want to say how I feel, be honest, and face the things I regret. 

I pull into his driveway. It's now or never.

"Hey," I look over at him, "I'm really sorry I tried to kiss you that one night. That was me taking advantage of you."

"You weren't in your right mind. I get it," Eli tries to be nice about it.

"I mean it," I tell him. "I know how it feels to be treated like... like that. I just hope you know that I haven't had a drink since that party. And, I never thanked you for taking me to the LaRusso's. It really helped me get better. I couldn't have. Without you."

"You're welcome." I smile slightly. He reaches for the passenger door to get out. 

"I still care about you, too."

Our eyes meet.

I feel it: the yearning, the tension, the memories.

I remember it: the kissing, the fighting, the immature love.

It hits me.

It's not regret - not even close.

It's something that has shifted inside of me.

He's not the one I want.

I break the eye contact.

Some things are better in the past. Maybe it wouldn't be like this if something had gone differently. But, it didn't. I don't want to hurt him again; that wasn't my intention this time. It's a cycle of pain that has to end.

Eli steps out of my car when he realizes this is going nowhere. He looks back at me when I speak up.

I don't love him. I don't hate him. I don't feel indifferent. I just feel like we're in a good place. I want him to know it, too.

"It was it real with you," I tell him honestly and directly. "I don't want you to think it wasn't."

"I know... It was real for me, too," he gives me a small smile. "Thanks for the ride."

⭒⭒⭒