NINETEEN. got a sense I've been betrayed

Days passed by since the sickness broke out. Tatum felt like she was never sick. They were getting back into the swing of things. She walked inside the smokehouse where Octavia and Murphy were hanging the meats. "Hey, you guys need help?" She asked.

Octavia looked over her shoulder. "Ah yeah, sure. There's still meat left in the buckets.

"Jesus, it's hot in here." She put up her hair and took the strips of meat in the bucket. She hung them in on the line to dry.

Del came walking into the smokehouse. "Let's get this party smoking." He cheered and started the fire.

Octavia observed his work. "You don't want the fire too big, so maybe just try to knock it down with some wet leaves."

"You get that from your boyfriend, grounder pounder?" He insulted her.

Tatum looked at him and glared. "She didn't ask for your smart ass remarks."

"And she's right. Hot fire is not gonna preserve the meat as well." Murphy stepped in.

"You can't take the heat, get out of the smokehouse," Del sneered like an idiot. "Should be kissing our asses for being allowed back in this camp. Just keep working."

"Better watch yourself before I throw you into the fire." Tatum threatened.

"You sure got a mouth on you, boyfriend killer." 

Before she could lunge at him, Murphy grabbed her arm and traded places with her. Tatum glared at him. "Let me go." She muttered and jerked out of his grasp. They went back to working in silence, the air extremely hot.

"Bellamy couldn't get you two better jobs?" Murphy asked the girls. "Would think anything would be better than working in the meat furnace."

"Oh, probably. That just means someone else would have to it." Responded Octavia.

"Jokes on you two. I actually enjoy it. It's like my own version of a sauna. I can feel myself losing five pounds already." Said Tatum, making them laugh. She noticed the heat was starting to pick up. "Hey guys, it's getting really hot in here."

Octavia noticed as well and she turned her head to see a fire had started. "SHIT!" She swore loudly.

"Whoa guys! A fire!" Someone from the camp shouted.

A gulf of flame ignited the meat because of all the firewood. They tried knocking it down but it just kept getting bigger and the air got hotter. Tatum stared coughing as smoke invaded her lungs. "Fuck!" She shouted and stared trying to put it out it.

"Tate, come on!" Shouted Murphy. He grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the smokehouse.

Tatum's hand grazed the burning fire on her way out. She screamed in pain and her skin startled sizzling. They got out just in time for the smokehouse to burst into flames, all the meat destroyed. "Mother fucker!" She seethed with water eyes, the pain in her hand increasing.

"Tatum, are you okay?" Octavia quickly asked and looked at her hand.

She blinked back the tears while her hand started to shake. The skin was bright red and blistering. Bellamy came sprinting towards the chaos and saw Octavia and Tatum by the fire, black smoke covering their faces. "Are you guys okay?"

His sister silently nodded but Tatum's face turned red with anger. She darting toward Del. "You're such a fucking idiot. We told you it was too much wood!" She shouted in fury.

The boy only found her amusing. "Aw, you're cute when you try to be mad." He mocked her and it only made her grow more angry.

"Really asshole? Cause i'm about to be gorgeous—"

Del shoved her by her shoulders. "Back the hell away from me, murderer."

Murphy stepped forward. "Hey, get out of her face!" He yelled.

Things started escalating as people began shouting.  Bellamy got in the middle of Del and Tatum before it could go any farther. "Hey, hey, save it for the grounders!" He barked. He looked at her and noticed her blistering hand. "Tate, are you okay?" He asked and his whole demeanor changed.

She jerked out of Murphy's grip, still glaring at Del.  "I'll live." She hissed and walked away.

Clarke appeared and grabbed her hand to examine in. "Can you feel your fingers? Any nerve damage?"

Tatum managed to move her fingers even though it was painful. "No, but there will be in about ten seconds." She threw Del another dangerous glare. Bellamy gave her a look and she went quiet, looking back at her hand.

Clarke continued to examine her hand. "You can still move your fingers. You might have some light scarring but you should be okay."

"Well, now what the hell are we gonna do?" Octavia voiced out loud. "That was all the food!"

Bellamy glanced at Clarke and Tatum, the three of them trying to figure something out. Tatum was too busy worrying about her blistering hand and how to refrain from punching Del.

When morning came, Tatum walked with Bellamy through the camp to the now burned down smokehouse. "How's your hand?" He voiced.

She glanced at her bandaged hand. "It's okay now. Just burning. It happened so fast."

"I thought you were gonna punch Del in the face." He said with a laugh.

"I would have if you didn't stop me."

"He wasn't wrong," Bellamy insisted, making her look up him. He grinned. "You are cute when you're mad."

She sarcastically smiled. "Let's see how cute you look with my foot up your ass."

Again, he just laughed. The two of them looked around the sight of the brunt down smokehouse. Bellamy crouched down and examined everything. Clarke came over when she saw them. "Any idea what happened?" She asked.

"We told Del not to make the fire too high and his dumbass didn't listen." Grumbled Tatum.

"Murphy said that too, mostly because Octavia told him it was a bad idea."

"And we believe Murphy?" Questioned Clarke.

He sighed. "I do, yeah." Tatum looked him, looking surprised. He shrugged. "Well, you trust him so I don't see any reason not to."

She tried to hide a smile.

"We have some wild onions and nuts in the drop ship. It's only enough to last us maybe one or two weeks." Clarke informed. "What's left here?"

"Let's see," Tatum dragged out and started looking. "Burnt, burnt, burnt, and. . . oh look, burnt! Anyone fancy barbecue?"

The two just looked at her.

She cringed. "Sorry, sarcasm's my only defense in these situations."

Bellamy shook his head. "She's not wrong. It's all burned." He declared and stood up.

Clarke contemplated a decision. "Then we have to hunt. Anyone we can spare goes out."

Both Bellamy and Tatum looked at her like she was crazy. "With the whole grounder army out there?" He questioned.

"Look, we can't defend ourselves if we're starving."

Tatum agreed with her. "She's right, Bell."

He looked between the two girls and locked his jaw — him, too, contemplating a decision. When he agreed, the three of them walked to the drop ship and called for everyone to start taking weapons.

"Each group takes someone with a gun," ordered Bellamy, loud enough for everyone to hear. "And they're for killing grounders, not food. We don't have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting and fishing. Get what you can and be back by nightfall. No one stays after dark."

"And if any of you do use your guns for anything other than the grounders, I will find out who it was and you will not be happy with me." Announced Tatum as she walked along the campers.

He cracked a grin. "Thank you, Tatum."

She tipped her imaginary hat. She made her way to the rack of knives and started taking some, pointing them in her back.

Bellamy quickly (but casually) walked over to where she was standing. "So, you're coming with me." He stated and stood by her side.

She gave him a look. "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Would you say yes either way?" He said with a smirk, to which she wasn't amused by. "Plus, you're one of the best trackers."

Tatum faced him. "Hmm, I don't know. Maybe there's another cute delinquent boy or girl I'd rather spend my time with trying not to die."

Bellamy smirked again. "You think I'm cute?"

She scoffed. "Don't get such a big head. Your ego is already big enough for the two of us." She took another knife from the rack.

"I'm being serious though. Are you coming with me?"

Tatum shut her eyes for a second. She sighed dramatically. "If I must." She responded and zipped her pack shut. "But I'll tell you one thing. I have my own strategy for hunting and I would appreciate if you would keep your mouth shut when I perform it." She jammed her finger in his chest.

He watched her walk away to where Clarke was standing. Another smirk showed up on his face. "Yes, ma'am."

She rolled her eyes. She watched one of the younger boys from camp talk to Clarke. Then he walked away in excitement. She raised her eyebrows. "I think someone has a crush on you, blondie."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I'll letting him have his fun."

Finn appeared next to her. "You ready to go?" He spoke.

Both girls looked at him, kind of startled. "I don't think so." She denied.

Tatum had yet to have a full conversation with him since finding out he cheated on Raven. And even longer after Raven broke up with him because he was still in love with Clarke. "Come on, i'm a good tracker." Finn insisted. "You're lousy with a spear but you're sneaky. We make a good team."

"You are not helping your case here, Prince Charming." Tatum muttered to herself. She crossed her arms. "Sorry Finny, she had a hot date with a fifteen year old."

Before either of them could respond, Myles came back and stood by Clarke's side. "Hey partner, we're losing daylight — oh, Finn, you joining the band?" He asked once he saw Finn standing there.

Tatum held back a laugh.

Finn reluctantly agreed. "Sure."

"Awesome!" He exclaimed. He glanced at the other girl standing with them. "Hey Tatum, you coming too?"

Before she could deny, Bellamy appeared beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Sorry, pip squeak. She's with me." He spoke with a confident smirk.

Tatum rolled her eyes. "Theoretically speaking, that is." She asserted.

Clarke looked between them and grinned. "You guys have fun."

"We shall," she smirked in response. "Have fun with pip squeak and Charming. If you wait a little longer, you'll turn into Cinderella."

"Go away."

Tatum winked at her and left with Bellamy. She noticed his arm was still around her. "You know you can let go now, right?" She mentioned with raised eyebrows.

He hummed. "Oh I know. I just don't want to."

She stared up at him and let her cheeks flush red. She scoffed. "Maybe I should call you Prince Charming."

"Nah, stick with the King Blake."

"Oh, brother."

"Mind if we stop by Raven's tent first? We need to get more ammo."

She shook her head. "Lead the way, King Blake." She mocked his words.

Bellamy nudged her and smirked again. "See, doesn't it sound great?"

They made it to Raven's tent and Tatum told him she would stand outside. Bellamy peaked his head into the tent. "We need more ammo."

Raven reached her hand back and placed the ammo in his hand. "That's it till Jasper gets back. Now get out of my tent." She demanded roughly.

He stood there and watched as she packed a bag. "Where are you going?"

"The hell out of here." Raven snapped and refused to meet his eye.

He quickly shook his head. "Hey, no, Raven, you're not leaving—"

"Really?" She challenged once she put her bag over her shoulder. She finally looked at him and glared. "And what makes you think either of you can tell me what to do? Aren't you a janitor?" She spat.

Her words didn't seem to faze him. "Where you gonna go?" He questioned.

She shrugged. "Into these damn woods. Don't worry about it. I'll find some place safe." She said aggressively.

Before she could exit her tent, Bellamy grabbed her arm. "Just wait. Don't be an idiot. You go alone and you're dead, or worse." He stated bluntly.

Raven went silent and looked him up and down once.  She stepped out of his grip. "So what's your plan? Sit here until you run out of bullets? Rot away in this stupid camp? Act like you're all big and bad when you can't even tell the girl you like how you feel?" She threw at him as she gradually became more rageful.

Bellamy gave her a stern look for bringing up his business with Tatum but ignored it. "Yeah, or until you come up with something better." He responded to her.

She slowly eased up.

"Come on, Raven. You came down here in a pod you rebuilt yourself. You made a bomb out of a tin can.  What else you got in that head of yours?" He encouraged her to try and make her feel better.

Raven stared at him for a minute. She got an odd feeling in her stomach. "Radios," she stated. "We can't defend ourself if we can't communicate. If we can build radios, walkie talkies—"

"Then we can fight as a team." Bellamy finished her sentence when he realized. "We'd have a chance at least." He grew a slight smile. "See, we need you. You may be a huge pain in the ass, but you're smart. That's probably where Tatum gets it from." He joked at the end and exited the tent completely. He saw Tatum rocking back and forth on the heels of her boots and whistling to herself as she waited for him. He smiled at her.

She titled her head. "Everything good?"

He nodded. "Yep. Ready to go, Princess?"

They began to walk in the direction of the woods. "I thought Clarke was the Princess?"

"Well, Clarke can be everyone else's Princess," he declared and looked down at her, meeting her gaze.  "You can be my Princess."

Once again, her cheeks flushed red. "You've been complimenting me a lot lately, Bellamy Blake. Is there something you wanna tell me?" She teased and nudged him with her elbow.

"Just happy you're here with me."

Tatum beamed and looped her arm through his,  making him laugh. The group that came with them followed close behind as they got to the middle of the forest. She turned around and faced them. "Okay guys, just be careful where you point your weapons.  Don't need anyone else getting hurt, okay?" She announced.

"You got it, boss." One of them said back and she smiled in return.

They separated into the woods. "Look at you taking charge." Bellamy grinned.

"They only listen cause they're scared of me." She lightly scoffed.

He scoffed back. "Please, you are the least scariest person I know."

Tatum raised her eyebrow. "Is that right?"

"That's right."

"At least I have better aim."

Bellamy narrowed his eyes. "Do not."

"Do too."

"Are we really gonna do this?"

Tatum crossed her arms. "You started it."

"You're so stubborn."

"Pretty sure we established that on our first meeting."

Bellamy bursted out laughing. "Okay, okay, tell you what," he started, gaining her interest. He took out his knife and she watched as he carved a large X into the bark of a nearby tree. "I bet you can't hit this target with my standing next to it." He challenged.

"And what makes you think that?" She contradicted.

He smirked. "Cause you don't want to hurt me."

She raised one of her brows. "Are you mocking me?"

"No, but you gotta put your money where your mouth is." He replied with a small grin.

Tatum watched him stand in front of the X that was just above his head. She gave him a look. "I'm not doing this, Bellamy."

"So, does that mean I win?"

Oh, that got her. Tatum never liked to lose a challenge. She sighed in defeat. "Whatever. If I make you cry then don't blame me." 

She walked further back until she was pressed against another tree. Bellamy stood under the X and stared at her with that entrancing stare he always knew would get to her. Her fire blue eyes locked with his and he flicked his brows up in a daring manner.

Tatum got in a good stance to throw and aimed her knife at the X. She waited until the perfect moment and took a deep breath before flinging the knife fast into the X. It landed directing in the middle, right above Bellamy's head.

The man stared at her in awe. She flashed him a pretty smile and he felt weak in the knees. He didn't say anything and instead watched as she slowly walked up to him in a taunting manner. She stood in front of him, only centimeters away. His velvet eyes looked between him and her lips that were so inviting to him right now. The tension between them could be felt throughout the entire forest. Bellamy wanted nothing more than to grab her and push her into a tree and kiss her for a long, long time.

Tatum's hand brushed against his, making him go ridged. Then, it slid up his clothed chest very slowly,  so slow it almost made him groan in anticipation. Her small hand traveled up his chest to his cheek where it lingered, and their eyes never looking away from each other. 

Tatum didn't know why she suddenly felt bold enough to encounter him the way she was, but there was something in her that had been waiting for it. Her hand slid up his cheek and brushed into his curls.  Bellamy felt a tightness in his stomach. Then, finally,  her hand moved out of his hair and above his head,  leaning in to the point where their noses were touching. But instead of doing what they both wanted,  she teased him and retrieved her knife from the tree.  Tatum smirked. "You still doubt me?"

"You're such a tease." He whispered back. His eyes darkened and they trailed to her lips.

"Bellamy! Tatum!" One of the group members shouted.

They instantly jumped apart from each other. Bellamy groaned. "What?" He shouted back in annoyance.

"It's getting dark. We should head back."

They didn't even notice how dark it was getting.  "We're coming." Tatum called back. She looked at the man and sent him a smug smile. "You coming, Bell?"

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I can't stand you." He responded with shake of his head.

"Sure you can't." She teased and started walking back to the group.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair and felt his face grow hot.

Tatum paced around her tent, anxiety in her bones, making her shake. She couldn't get him out of her head. The look in his eyes, the sight of his lips so close to hers. How he smelled. How warm his touch was. It was obvious to everybody and to them. There was no one else she wanted.

Bellamy made it clear that he wanted her to. He clouded her mind so much that she felt dizzy whenever she was around him. They were just kids and they lived in a world where tomorrow's not promised. So what was stopping her?

Tatum gripped the roots of her hair. "Don't be a coward, Tatum." She said to herself. Then, she sat her hands on her hips. "Am I really going to do this?" She battled with herself. When there was no one to answer, she made her final decision and exited her tent, making her way to the biggest tent in camp.

Bellamy could not get her out of his head. It was typical, considering she never left his mind anyway,  but this time was different. The feeling of her hands on him and the way she looked at him was enough to put him into cardiac arrest. Everything about her was enchanting. He felt her in his teeth when he ate and he saw her in the back of his eyelids when he slept.  Tatum was heavy wind, cold rain, and the stars all mixed into one beautiful mess of chaos. There was always a half empty ache in his soul until she came along. His mouth was always turning dry when he watched her move, wondering what it would be like to kiss her, feel her, be one with her.

When Bellamy walked into his tent, Raven stood there with her hands in her pockets. He narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing in here?"

She ignored his question. "They don't waste time, don't they? What's it been, a day? Day in a half?" She asked rapidly.

He knew she was talking about Finn and Clarke.  Tatum informed him of all the drama. "You've mistaken me for someone who cares. Time to move on." He bluntly stated.

Raven watched him shrug off his jacket and she sat on his bed. He looked up at her sudden movement. "What are you doing?" He asked again.

"Moving on." she simply stated. She started taking off her jeans and she took her brown hair out of its usual ponytail, letting it fall past her shoulders. "I've never been with anyone but Finn." she said and walked up to the man. "Take off your clothes." She demanded.

Bellamy shook his head. "I can't."

"Fine, i'll go first." She jeered and swiftly took off her shirt.

He simply started at her, his eyes not moving from her face. "If you're looking for someone to talk you down,  tell you that you're just upset and not thinking straight, i'm not that guy. Because frankly, I don't care." He bluntly said again and he didn't know how to make himself more clear. She took another step closer to him and he stepped back. "I can't Raven. Tatum—"

"You two have been walking around here for weeks knowing you have feeling for each other and still haven't done anything about it," Raven snapped insensitively. "It's not like you're cheating on her."

"What's going on with me and Tatum is not your business."

"I just want to forget." She quietly said and stepped forward again.

"Raven—"

His kissed him hard and held his face so he wouldn't move. He jolted. She was Tatum's best friend. She knew the situation between them. How could she?

"Bellamy—"

The two of them broke away. Tatum stood at the entrance of the tent. The smile on her face vanished at what she saw. Raven in her underwear. Her hair down. Bellamy's lips on hers. His eyes went wide. "Tatum—"

She quickly left, not uttering a word. Bellamy chased after her. "Wait, Tatum. Tatum, hold on, please!" He shouted after her.

Tatum's heart was in her throat. She picked up her pace, ignoring his shouts.

"Tatum!"

He grabbed her arm and the anger settled in. She spun around and slapped him in the face, the sound echoing. Everyone still outside heard it. Fire built in her blue eyes and if she wanted it, he'd be dead from her flame.

She thought about how frightened she'd be at her image. How sharp she was. How mad she looked. Ready to tear apart anything within reach. Like a rabid animal. But she wasn't an animal. She was a girl with a broken heart. Or is that the same thing?

She stared into his velvet eyes with betrayal written all over her face. Bellamy sighed. "Tatum, please let me explain."

"Explain what? How you've been messing with my head this entire time only to turn around and make out with someone else? My best friend of all people!" She yelled painfully.

"That's not what happened—"

Tatum turned back around, ignoring him, and she ran to her tent. Bellamy was still hot on her heels. "Tatum please!" He shouted again. He entered the tent being her. "Tate—"

She turned around and shoved him hard, making him stumble. "Why me?" She yelled in his face. "Was this your plan the whole time? Make me fall in love so you can add me to your long list of girls? And Raven just got to you first?"

"No!" He bellowed, trying to remain calm but he just couldn't. "I'm trying to explain myself!"

"There's nothing to explain!" Tears spilled from her eyes.

"Tatum, listen to me. Raven tried to get me to have sex with her but I said no."

She scoffed. "Yeah, like I believe that."

His eyes narrowed. "I have not been with any other girl besides you." He stated firmly.

"Yeah, until the first beautiful girl throws herself at you?" She laughed out of anger. Hot tears trailed down her red face. The animal in her clawed at her chest. "You know, I hated you when we first got the ground."

Bellamy's jaw locked and he frowned.

"I thought you were nothing but a power hungry bastard. You provoked me over and over and over again until I had no choice but to engage with you! And even then, all I could think to myself was Tatum, don't fall for his stupid tricks cause he's either going to hurt you or try and take advance of you. And god knows I've been through that enough."

Tears streamed from her pretty blue eyes and all Bellamy could do was stand there and watch.

"And then somehow, in some fucked up way, you proved me wrong." She continued and the betrayal on her face was enough to bring him to his knees. "Every day, every hour, and every minute I've spent with you, I've fallen more and more in love with you. and that's not what I wanted." Her anger turned into sadness. "But I have. I opened up to you because I love you and you've never judged me about it." She gripped the roots of her hair. "I finally let go of my past so that I can make room for someone else and I wanted you! I wanted you, Bellamy!"

"I want you too, Tatum!" He raised his voice. "Just please let me explain."

"Go ahead then. Explain to me why I found my half naked best friend in your tent."

"Tate," he stepped forward but she stepped backwards, taking a shaky breath. "Tatum, she was in my tent when I got there. She was upset about Clarke and Finn and I told her I didn't care. I said that she should move on—"

She let out another noise of disbelief.

"Not with me! She got the wrong message. She took her clothes off and I kept saying no. I told her about you and she basically said who cares." He spoke fast. "Tatum, please, I would never do that to you. I promise." He was so close to getting on his knees. "I love you, Tate."

She choked on a cry and closed her eyes.

"I've love you so much I can't stand to breathe when you're not around. And yeah, I didn't like you either when we first arrived on Earth because you were sarcastic and stubborn and dramatic, but then you opened up to me about what happened on the Ark, and I thought differently of you."

She couldn't look at him without breaking.

"There will never be anyone else but you. I love you, Tatum. Please believe me." He pleaded.

They were just kids. Kids who made tongue tied wishes on loaded stars and believed what was unspoken must come true. She never believed in wishes no matter how many stars she wished upon. But the walks in the woods. The longing stares. The smiles. Everything that was unspoken lingered in their actions. It was so sweet knowing they loved each other even though they didn't have to say it to each other. 

But Tatum fell victim to her past. The pain she endured for so many years. She never believed she could be loved properly. She wasn't meant for a fairytale.

Tatum released another cry, tears rolling down her red face. She felt stupid. Like a vulnerable little girl. She was stronger than this. She wanted to be stronger. "Please, just go. I-I need to think."

"Please,  Tate—"

"Bellamy, just go!" She cried out with a break in her voice. "Please, go!"

His brown eyes swam with guilt. He left her rent, her cries haunting him as he left.

Tatum laid on her bed and tried to stop crying. She loved so much that it hurt. He hurt her. She should've seen it coming. Just like Icarus, Tatum Adler drowned in the sea that was Bellamy Blake.