"Why are you here?" she asks, expecting someone much better.

"I...I'm sorry," I stammer, forgetting every word I had to say. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't...What happened earlier...I didn't know what to do. I thought pushing you away would help you move on...I thought it was the best thing to do, but I didn't mean a single word I said to you..." I explain and let the truth out, let all the weight off my chest. "I don't even know how to talk to you anymore...I was- I mean, I still am a coward, I'm so scared of the things I say or do when you're near me..." I bite my lips, my throat tightening.

She does not say anything in response, gazing into my eyes with sorrow, but something much brighter than earlier.

"I'm-I...I..." a heavy sigh escapes me. "I just need to talk to you...But I don't know how to explain everything that's been going on in my head."

Without a word, she steps aside and silently lets me in. I step forth and enter her house, and she closes the door behind me. She leans back on it and fixes her eyes on mine.

She has never been so quiet in front of me.

I catch my breath, overwhelmed by the intensity of her gaze, and this moment. "I know I've been an asshole, and what I did earlier made it seem like I'm still the same guy you saw when I left you a year ago, but I promise, I'm a better person. I'm not the best. I still have flaws and stuff to work on, but...I just- I wish we could just start over..." I let it out in one of the worst ways imaginable. "I want us to go back to that time when everything was perfect. When we were both happy about seeing one another even though we were just friends...I want us to go back there and build something much better."

Her eyes shinning with tears, she lowers them from mine. "What do you mean by starting over?"

"I mean...I want us to go back to the beginning. I want us to be friends again. To hang out, to not worry about anything, to just enjoy our time together. I want to take it slow and not make another mistake again," I tell her, hoping she will understand and give me another chance. "You want us to be friends?" she asks, staring at me without revealing her emotions. "Yes, for now. I want to make sure I do everything properly. I want to prove to you I always meant it when I said I love you."

She does not give me her answer right away. Does she not want it anymore? Did she expect something else?

"Did you really not mean what you said earlier?" she does not share her opinion but brings this back up. "I promise I didn't."

She nibbles on her inner cheek, not speaking. She licks them and looks down. "I didn't mean what I said either. I can't hate you..."

"I know...I mean- I know you wouldn't mean such words," I quickly correct the mistake I just made, and she brushes it off without questioning it. She comes closer and wraps her arms around me.

I missed this feeling so much.

I tangle my fingers in her hair and hold her tight, her breathing turning unsteady as I can hear her cry again. Her fingers gripping my shirt under my jacket, I press a kiss on her forehead and toy with her hair.

This feels so good. Having her in my arms, knowing she will not go. I have not felt this relieved and happy in a long time.

"We can start over, but you have to promise me you won't leave me again..." she speaks in my chest, never letting go. I look down at her and tuck her hair behind her ear. "I promise I won't," I stroke her cheek softly. She raises her head up and gazes into my eyes. I push her hair back and cup her face within my hands, feeling the warmth of her skin against mine. "I'm sorry..." I whisper, feeling even more guilty now that I have her close to me. "You didn't deserve to go through all the pain I inflicted on you...I sincerely always loved you, I always did."

She nods and hides her face back in my chest. I hold her tightly, wishing I could take back all the hurt I caused.

"Luca's supposed to come pick me-"

"I know," I do not pretend to not be aware. "I was with him. He told me to come here instead of him."

"Oh, were you with him when I called him?" she asks, guessing what must have happened. "Yeah."

"Okay...And about what you asked me back at the party...Did Matthew really said that to you?" she puts this forward. I slide my hands down to her throat and hold it genty. "Yeah, but it doesn't matter anymore. I don't want you to worry about it."

"It does matter. I don't want Matthew to tell lies about Luca and I," she speaks softly, not crying anymore. "He probably said that to get me away from you."

"I don't know, or he listens to Milly a little too much," she says, making me wonder what that girl might have told Matthew. "What does that mean?"

"She just hopes for me to be with Luca, and she's often there when Luca and I hang out, and she assumes we're flirting. She even made me doubt some stuff at some point, and I had to talk to him about it, so I guess Matthew heard some of those things and got the wrong idea," she explains, clearing her throat. "What did she make you doubt?" I frown, rubbing my thumbs over her skin.

"How Luca feels about me. She told me so many times that he looks at me in a certain way, talks to me a certain way, and...and some other stuff like that. So since I knew she must have told him a little too much too, I talked to Luca about it," she avoids detailing, keeping some parts to herself as I cannot help feeling like Milly thinks the same as I do. "Hm. And what did he tell you?"

"He said she was just misunderstanding his behavior and that he only sees me as a little sister, so I didn't have to worry about this," she tells me the same words he said to me, and I nod feeling weird about this. "And do you..." I think twice before finishing my sentence, unsure I should ask her this question. "I mean, nevermind. I hope this girl stops doing that to you both. I know this must make Luca uncomfortable and annoyed."

I want to ask her if she believes him, if she never found herself questioning his actions, but I would rather not.

"He did tell me he doesn't like what she's doing because it could ruin our friendship, and I told her all this, and she kinda stopped," she reassures me. "Kinda?"

"She still wants me with him, so sometimes she mentions it, but in a serious way. But whatever, it's best not to talk about it. She's a good friend, she just cannot likes to talk a little too much," she smiles, not realizing how problematic she could become. I wonder how she is going to react, and what she might do once she knows I came back.

"As long as she doesn't cause any trouble, that's all that matters," I do not linger on this topic. I am not here to talk about her. "I guess," she says, becoming quiet and looking into my eyes. I smile unconsciously, and she returns the smile, relief flooding her features.

The tension seems to have dissipated.

"It feels weird to know you live alone now," I break the silence. "It honestly feels so much better. I can do whatever I want without worrying about anything," she replies, her smile growing wider. "I'm happy to hear it."

"What about you though? You still live at your house, right?" she asks about me, curious to know more about how my life has been going. "Yes. It was difficult to stay there, but I couldn't afford a new house."

She does not ask why as if she knew exactly the reason why I felt that way. She soothes me with a warm and comforting smile. "What about your job? Where do you work now?"

"I work at another café, but it's much further from the one where you and Luca still work at," I tell her everything I always told Luca not to talk about. "Oh. Does that mean you have to wake up earlier?"

"A little bit, but it's fine. I'm used to it now," I take my hands off of her throat and put my arms around her. "And how is it going with your colleagues? Did you make new friends?"

I missed this so much. Having small talks, hearing her ask about me, showing she cares. It has been so long since I felt this kind of connection. It feels like we were apart from each other for years.

"Not friends, but good co-workers," I grin. "They're pretty nice, and the boss is so much better than the one you have, so I feel better there."

"I'm happy then, I hope you'll always feel like that over there," she responds, her genuine smile lighting up her face. "I'd like to ask about you, but Luca and Matthew already told me almost everything."

She chuckles softly, "I know, and both warned me anyway."

"I'm sorry though. I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand not hearing about you," I apologize for my behavior and how wrong it was. She shrugs. "It's okay. At least, I knew you were thinking of me and still caring."

"I always did," I admit. "I never stopped thinking about you. I dreamed about you so many times, it was really difficult."

"I did too. It was so hard, and I don't know if I'd have handled it if Luca wasn't there. He helped me a lot," she shares the same feeling about him. "He helped me a lot too. He's the best guy I've ever met. I don't even know how he can still stand me."

"We love you. We'll always stand you no matter what," she replies with a soft smile, and I scoff. "You're both very strong and courageous then."

She shakes her head, looking down at my lips. "We just care about you that much," she whispers, pressing her body against mine. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"Yes, but until one p.m," I let her know I am free after that. "Alright, and will you be home after five?" she makes it evident she wants us to be together tomorrow, and I smile. "Yes. I can come pick you up after you're done with work if you want."

"You would?" she unconsciously shows her excitement, and I nod. "Yes, I want to see you."

"Then yes, you can come pick me up," she brings her arms up to put them around my neck, standing on her tiptoes. I lean in and squeeze her against me. "I can't wait to be tomorrow," I press a kiss on her cheek and push my face into the crook of her face. I breathe her fragrance in, letting it fill my lungs and calm my racing heart.

It still is the same. That one I told her to never change.

"It's getting late, I should go," I say, pressing my lips against her warm neck. "Yeah...I don't want you to be tired," she pulls away, not asking for more like she would have done in the past. "When do you wake up tomorrow?" I slide my hands in the pockets of my pants. "At 6 am. Just like before."

"Do you go there by yourself?" I peek down at her lips, tempted to lean in and kiss her. "No. Luca comes and picks me up. I'm too scared to drive."

I nod and force a smile, not knowing how to feel about it. "I'm relieved. At least you don't have to be alone."

"Yes, and he always brings me some warm chocolate croissants, so I'm always eager to wake up for work," she speaks with a big smile on her face, my jealousy growing. I control this sickening feeling, knowing that I should be happy for her. "I'm happy to hear it. He's the best."

"He is," she agrees, my heart aching. "Anyway, I'll come pick you up at work tomorrow," I kiss her forehead and head back to the door. "You can text me to tell me when you'll be there," she follows me. "I will," I open the door, my eyes still remaining on hers. She comes closer and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Take care."

"Take care too," I respond with a smile and step out. I move back to my car, hoping I did not make the wrong choice. As I enter my car, I feel a sense doubt creeping in.

If he picks her up in the morning, takes time to bake her some pastries before going to her house, spends the day with her at work, sees her when she sleeps at his house, and still feels the need to see her and invite her over, there is no way he only considers her a little sister.

Now instead of hurting her, I will hurt him. I actually cannot be happy and live without causing pain to the ones I care about.

I cannot even talk about it with him anymore. After the reaction he had earlier, I cannot. He seemed so hurt. I do not ever want to see that look on his face again. I cannot bear the thought of hurting him too. It breaks my heart.

– Next day –

Monday, September 26th, 2022.

7 am.

'YOUR P.O.V'

After locking the door behind me, I head to Luca's car and get in. "Hey," I smile at him, and he does the same. "Good morning. Did you have a good night?" he starts the engine and pulls out of the driveway.

"I did, and you?" I grab the bag of chocolate croissants and chocolate milk he always leaves on the dashboard for me. "Yeah," he answers as he drives down the street, seeming a little quieter than usual. As I take a bite into the flaky pastry, I cannot help but wonder what is on his mind.

"Was-" we both speak at the same time and stop. "You can go first," he offers with a small smile. "No, it wasn't important. Tell me."

"Oh, it's nothing. I just wanted to know how it went with Jungkook last night," he brings the same topic up as I wanted to. I swallow some chocolate milk and answer him. "It went well. We're just friends for now, but it felt good to be able to talk to him and know he won't leave."

He shows a warm smile. "I'm happy for you both."

"Thank you, but it's all because of you. We wouldn't have talked again if you weren't here," I let him know how grateful I am. "No...I just helped a little."

"What do you mean? You helped us so much! You're like an angel on earth. You only bring happiness around you," I do not let him diminish his impact on our lives. "Well, I'm glad you think so. I try my best to make people happy."

"What about yourself though?" I gaze at him. "I'm happy too. Lily and my puppy bring me joy, the boss even told me he got some good news for me today, so I'm the happiest I could be."

"Good, I'm relieved then. What could the boss say though?" I take another bite, wondering what could possibly be the good news. "I have no idea. So I can't wait to talk to him later."

"Maybe it's about a raise, or me being a supervisor and stealing your position," I tease her and see him scoff. "Dream about it, sweetheart. He'd never do that to me."

"True, you're his favorite employee after all. You're everyone's favorite," I grin and crush the empty paper bag in my hand while sipping on my comforting drink. "I'm everyone's favorite?" he raises his eyebrows, taking one hand off the steering wheel to gesture towards himself. "Yeah, you are. Everyone at work would be lost without you, and I bet if we all had to pick our favorite co-worker, everyone would choose you."

"Everyone," he repeats with disbelief, touching the gear stick. "That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. All this to stroke my ego and get more treats every morning."

I laugh and shake my head. "Not even. Stop pretending not to know everyone likes you. It's impossible not to."

"If you say so," he still dares to deny it.

•••

12:10 am.

As it is finally time to take my break, I head to the back while taking my apron off and check if Jungkook texted me.

He has not. I try to push away the disappointment and walk to the changing room.

"Y/n," Luca calls my name from across the room right when I open the door. "You won't believe what the boss just told me."

"What? Is it better than you expected?" I smile at his joyful expression, eager for good news. "Come. I don't want anyone to hear about it," he enters the changing room with me and closes the door. He checks every corner to make sure we are both alone, and then turns towards me.