chapter one — frightened of this thing I've become  

( " I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here." ) — Laurie Halse Anderson

            Gwyn expelled a weary breath as she enthroned herself on the plush cushions of the sofa beside the unilluminated fireplace, nearly collapsing in a stupor as she lightly stirred her tea. The garden pink tea fragranced the air as a delicate perfume for a room smothered with an ominous aura of death. She sipped the raspberry brew, allowing the warmth to circulate through her. A momentary sense of ease washed over her as she closed her eyes to relish the taste lingering on her tongue. Her alleviation was, as she foresaw, as momentary as the blink of an eye. 

      The calmness of the room dispersed as Damon Salvatore casually strolled through the foyer, a gleam of deviltry glimmered in his eyes as he took his place on an antique-like chair across from her. He crossed his ankles over the polished wood of the coffee table. Sunbeams seeped through the curtains and landed on his pale skin and he continued onward with his piercing stare, unaffected with the warmth of the sun. She sipped her raspberry tea again, then placed the ornate glass teacup on the small wooden nightstand beside her. "The Talisman," She said suddenly, "I need the talisman of the witch who performed the spell." Damon straightened his posture, keenly aware of his brother's presence within the confined walls of their home. She rolled her eyes. "Relax, your cock, I warded the room so no one outside this room can hear us."

      Damon's posture eased. "I hid the talisman in the Lockwood mansion a hundred-and-fifty years ago." 

      Gwyn gave him a blank stare. "Nearly a hundred-and-fifty years ago you promised Emily to protect her descendants as long as she made this crystal for you to save Katherine, this crystal that is exceedingly important to our plan, might I add," She paused as she closed her eyes while pinching the bridge of her nose. "And you hid it in Lockwood's mansion?" 

      He didn't respond as he pressed his mouth into a thin line and nodded imperceptibly. "When you say it like that, it doesn't sound like a good idea." He said after a moment's pause. "But it's a full-proof plan. The town's annual Founder's Party is soon and the comet is tonight. It'll be activated by then and we can just take it."

      "And I don't suppose you have mustered up another wonderful plan on how to get this crystal," She asked, looping her finger on the tea cup's handle. She brought the raspberry brew to her mouth, sipping the drink with another contented sigh. "Your track record with well-thought plans doesn't seem impressive." 

      Damon plastered an artificial smile. "My plan brought you back here to Mystic Falls with your dad," He said.

      Gwyn feigned a smile as she glared at him, steel-like. "Against my will." She added, "You threatened to kill him." 

      "I coerced you." 

      "Look at you using your big boy words." 

      Damon was going to retaliate but the echoing sound of the entrance door creaking open distracted them both. They froze and listened to the stillness of the room, whereas Gwyn couldn't hear anything distinctive, she knew Damon heard everything. A satisfied smirk rose on his mouth and he surged from the chair and disappeared with a dramatic blur. She calmed her nerves as she realized there was no danger and she eased the waves of power threatening to release. 

      She stood from the chair and stepped through the foyer with mild curiosity. "You must be Elena," She heard Damon say. His charming voice intensified as she walked closer to where he stood underneath the ornate wood. "I'm Damon, Stefan's brother." He said, introducing himself with a charismatic smile. 

      "He didn't tell me he had a brother." The voice was feminine, quaint and confused. As Gwyn neared closer, she was stunned with the physical familiarity of the woman who resided daintily beside Damon. She was a precise replica of Katherine. 

      "Well, Stefan's not one to brag. Please, come." He planted a gentle hand behind her shoulder as he guided her further into the home. "I'm sure Stefan will be along any second." As Elena's doe-eyes wonderfully admired the vastness of the place, Gwyn shot Damon a sharp glance, to which he responded with a dismissive wave. What was he doing?

     Elena's smile widened. "This is your living room?" She asked, noticeably amazed.

      Damon remained unfazed, casting a lordly glimpse around the room. "Living room, parlor, Sotheby's auction. It's a little kitschy for my taste."

      Elena stepped deeper and her gaze landed curiously on Gwyn's looming figure. Gwyn narrowed her steel-like eyes as she drank another warm gulp of her raspberry brew, an otherworldly essence swirling around her self-assured stance. Elena had never seen a woman like her before. She leaned casually on the arm-rest of the couch beside, the authentic silver assortment of rings glimmering in the sunlight and she wore a bright blood-red leather jacket, beneath was a lacey bralette in the same shade of red. Her bodice was amplified with her black skinny jeans and bright red heels. She was certainly someone who hadn't been in Mystic Falls before.

      Elena cleared her throat and smiled daintily. "I'm Elena—"

      Gwyn rolled her eyes. "Don't care," Elena recoiled in surprise, wordless. Gwyn tore her gaze from the look-alike and raised a perfectly-plucked brow. "I can see why Stefan's whipped. Hopefully, this one has a better outcome than the last one." A flash of memories—memories that weren't her own—flickered through Gwyn's mind of Katherine and a spark of uncomfortable anger seared through her.

      Elena shifted on her feet, looking anywhere other than Gwyn's sharp stare. "The last one?" She asked awkwardly. Elena's aura altered entirely, its color-changing into a mixture of greyish blue and her aura visibly slumped. She looked like a distressed doe.

      Damon feigned an unknowing look. "Yeah. Katherine, his girlfriend?"

      Elena pressed her mouth into a grim line and sighed, shaking her head. Gwyn smiled icily. "Oh, you two haven't had the awkward exes conversation. That should be interesting." She said with an enlightened tone. With her ancestor's memories quite literally ingrained into her mind, she knew first-hand of Stefan's unusual history with women.

      "I'm sure it'll come up now," Damon said.

      "Unless he purposely didn't mention her because she's a rebound."

      Damon shrugged. "We all know how those relationships end."

      Elena's posture grew defensive. She wasn't fond of the direction where the conversation was heading. "You say it like every relationship is doomed to end."

      He smirked devilishly. "I'm a fatalist."

      Gwyn snorted, "No, you're a fucking idiot," she said. There was a subtle alteration of the atmosphere, a much colder feeling. From around the corner of the staircase, Stefan appeared. "Stefan, thank you for joining us. We were just getting to know your precious girlfriend—"

      "Elena," Stefan said, his voice seemed slightly strained. Elena swirled around quickly and a look of relief colored her expression. "I didn't know you were coming over."

      She began to make her way over to him. "I know I should've called—"

      Damon dismissed her concerns. "Oh, don't be silly. You're welcome any time." His sky-blue eyes glimmered with a subtle glint of mischief. "Isn't she, Stefan?" Stefan's harsh glare never wavered from his older brother and the intensity of it was beginning to make Gwyn uncomfortable. "I should break out the family photo albums, or some home movies. But, I have to warn you. He wasn't always such a looker."

      Gwyn chuckled, examining her newly manicured nails. "Ain't that the truth." She whispered to herself.

      "Thank you for stopping by, Elena," Stefan said. He offered a polite nod and barely glanced her way. "Nice to see you." He brandished his angered with a balled fist.

      Elena certainly looked wounded by his lack of interest in her being there and her shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I should probably go. It was nice to meet you, Damon." She peered over her shoulder and fabricated a smile towards Gwyn. "You, too, Gwyn."

      Gwyn didn't bother plastering a mannerly expression. "I can't say the same," She said, "People who let themselves into other people's homes don't make a wonderful first impression with me."

      Elena didn't seem to know what to say to her remark. She turned on her heel and nervously ambled to Stefan, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. He didn't return the favor. "Stefan," She said, "Stefan?" Her voice was small, and she wasn't fond of his cold behavior.

      Stefan tore his gaze from Gwyn and Damon, barely casting a glance her way, and stepped away from her, giving her access to the door. As she opened the door and departed, Gwyn let out a smooth whistle. "Great gal. Bland as can be."

<<>>

      Gwyn sipped the virile beer, the glass rim pressed against her crimson-stained mouth. She observed the fluid ambiance with displeasure, inquisitively assessing everyone's auras. The Mystic Grill was littered with delicate, multi-colored glow enveloping each person, and Gwyn was always overwhelmed by the complexity of them. Hazy shades of dispirited blues circling the gloomy ones, brick-reds brimming with powerful waves of anger, and there were mostly sunflower-yellows complete with contented and blissful euphoria. There was a time where she envied the people that were carelessly sunflower-yellow all the time. She, like most people who continuously allowed themselves to waltz into disconsolate situations, eventually grew used to her constant shades of cool blue. Her lack of happiness didn't affect her anymore and that somewhat troubled her. 

      With her jaded brown eyes, Gwyn chanced a spry glance at the leather-covered vampire. She couldn't help think of the possible jokes someone could make about them. How strange for a stereotypical vampire and witch to be seated by each other at the bar drinking cheap beer. She nudged him. "So a witch and a vampire walk into a bar," She paused, chuckling softly as she realized how ridiculous this was—how much her paltry life was going to inevitably collapse in a downward spiral because of the man, who undoubtedly had a drinking issue, beside her. Damon didn't show a flicker of visible amusement, but his aura exposed him.  

      Damon sipped his beer. "When I brought you here—"

      "Forcefully."

      "Coerced," He corrected.

      "Kidnapped, basically." 

      "When I coerced you here," He said, feigning a smile. "It wasn't so I could sit and hear you say your stupid jokes." 

      Gwyn smiled, incredibly phony and exasperated. "Well, Damon, you and I are magically bound to one another so if you decide to aggravate someone, which you naturally tend to do, and they try to kill you, I'm dead, too." She took a large swig of her beer, finally finishing it. "So that means I'm babysitting you as much as I can because I prefer to be alive."

      "And whose fault is it that we're magically bound together?"

      Gwyn rested her chin on her palm and her elbow perched on the bar countertop, an egotistical and prideful expression coloring her features. "Mine, obviously," She responded casually. She didn't know Damon personally, but she was completely familiar with people like him—charming and delightful until she wasn't useful to him anymore. "It was the only way I could guarantee my life wouldn't suddenly be murdered by an alcoholic cock. That's you, by the way."

      Damon opened his mouth to respond with an equally impolite response but was thankfully interrupted by a small, petite brunette. She circled the bar countertop, an expression of recognition plastered on her face. On the side of her neck was a square, white bandage taped against her skin. "I know you." She blurted.

      Gwyn examined her and the swirl of colors surrounding her. "That's unfortunate for you, isn't it?" She said, watching as the girl inched closer to them.

      "I don't know how, but your face." Tears began to dwell in her eyes and Gwyn wasn't sure if they knew they were even crying. She looked frightened, overwhelmed. Gwyn's grasp on the beer bottle tightened as she realized who this teenager was—the girl Damon attacked in the woods. "I'm sorry. Excuse me." She disappeared in a hazed blur.

      There was a moment of silence as they both watched her push open the bathroom door. In sync, Damon and Gwyn glanced at each other with a knowing expression. "Let's kill her and clean your mess."

      Damon rolled his eyes as he stood from the stool. "Yeah, I know. I know."

<<>>

     Gwyn closed her eyes and inhaled an appreciative breath as she swung her lithe legs over the edge of the Mystic Grill. She had a straightforward connection with nature, and if she focused on the link, she could feel the delicate vibrations of life traveling through the air, the pulses of fragile energy. It was a comforting feeling and it somewhat brought warmth to her during brisk nights such as this one. However, despite the forces of nature surrounding her like a lively cloak, she couldn't concentrate because of Damon's pesky voice as he toyed with Vicki like she was some plaything. She opened her eyes. "Just throw her off already." 

      Damon, flawlessly balanced and still on the brick edge, peered over Vicki's sobbing figure and offered Gwyn a dull glance. "You're no fun. No wonder you're single." He muttered. He returned his heavy gaze on the girl and continued taunting her like it was the most amusing source of entertainment.

      Gwyn scoffed. "As if you're one to talk. You're a dead douchebag who's still hopelessly pining over a mummified bitch who has shown zero interest in you." Damon rolled his eyes and didn't respond. She wondered if he was aware of Katherine's lack of interest in him or if his infatuation blinded him from the obvious truth. Damon may have been an absolute moron, but he did have common sense. Sometimes. Well, he had his moments.

      Her gaze flickered onto the crowded streets and sidewalks down below. It was the night of the comet and the town was lightly illuminated by the full moon over the dark sky. A full moon was a sign of new beginnings and unlimited possibilities, a blank slate of sorts. And here she was spending her new beginning on the edge of a building while the idiot beside her dangled his food over the edge. 

      Unexpectedly, a cold shiver ran down her body. She knew what that meant by now. "Stefan," She declared as he appeared from nowhere. "How unfortunate. Can we skip the whole theatrics and get to the part where we throw her off the ledge and solve both our problems?" Vicki whimpered as soon as the words left her mouth.

      Damon smirked as he tossed Vicki onto Stefan. "We don't need her dead, but you might." He said, "What attacked you the other night?" 

      Vicki sniffled as the tears came down uncontrollably. "I don't know. An animal."

      Gwyn, with an unrelenting stare, flickered the magic deep inside her and tore away the feeble compulsion from Vicki's mind. "Weak compulsion is such a simple thing to get rid of, Stefan. And planting new memories is a little tricky but the drugs she takes makes it a little easier on my part." 

      Stefan's face shattered as he processed her words. "Don't." 

      Damon crouched to eye level with Vicki. "Now, what attacked you?" 

      As the memories came flooding in, the teenage girl jerked back. "A vampire."

      Gwyn smirked. "Good girl, and who did this to you? Stefan Salvatore, a terrible vampire with weird hair." Stefan pleaded for her to stop but Gwyn was slightly enjoying this. She flicked her hand gently and the white bandage on Vicki's neck tore off. "I love a good witch parlor trick. Now, I personally don't care if you feed on Thumper and Bambi, but Damon seems to. So, you can feed and drink on human blood and I'll consider taking away those fake memories, or you can let her scream 'vampire' until her throat bleeds." 

      Stefan struggled to keep himself at bay, groaning in physical pain as he restrained himself. "That's what this is about? You want to expose me?"

      "Stefan, I just said I couldn't care less—"

      Damon lurched forward. "No! I want you to remember who you are."

      "Why? So what, so I'll feed? So I'll kill? So I'll remember what it's like to be brothers again?" Damon didn't say anything. It was silent for a second. "You know what? Let her go. Let her tell everyone vampires have returned to Mystic Falls. Let them chain me up and let them drive a stake through my heart because at least I'll be free from you." 

      Gwyn and Damon glanced at each other, both grimacing at the theatrics. He sent her a small nod, permission for her to take away the memories. She stood from the ledge. "Yikes, that was pretty dramatic. I think I almost shed a tear." She waved her hand and Vicki quickly transformed into a calm, eased state. "She thinks she blacked out from the pills. She'll be fine." Vicki groaned and stumbled back to the staircase that lead back to the main room.

      Gwyn looked at Stefan and he finally saw her for the first time. Truly looked at her and he was frightened. She shrouded in darkness he couldn't pinpoint and it was unlike anything he'd seen before. She smiled, an awfully wicked smile and her eyes resembled pools of black poison. "This should be fun."