So, yeah. My guess was right.

It was indeed a positive response from Ibrahim.

My world came crashing down as soon as I heard that. I was beyond shocked. And I could not understand why he even said 'yes' when he clearly acted like he did not like me.

Was this some kind of sick joke? I didn't know.

Meanwhile, most of them at home were in a celebratory mood. Their talk was all about the possibility of an engagement ceremony in two months. They were busy picking a date for it, considering the number of people to be invited, making plans about the type of meal to be served on that day, discussing about the kind of clothes to be worn and a lot more.

By looking at their excitement, I only concluded one thing. If over-planning was a contest, my family would be the recurring champions of it!

They asked me to join their discussions too, which I kept declining each time because I wasn't obviously in a mood for it. I just wanted the whole thing to stop. I kept praying for it silently. I didn't know whether I had any hope left but I seriously wished for it.

"Why do you look so sullen now? Aren't you happy?" asked mom at one point.

Before I could say anything, Aira added, "Yeah Lish, why do you look so upset? Are you still not okay with this proposal?"

"I am not. I mean, what is there to be happy about it?" I asked with a sigh.

"The fact that someone chose you over anyone else in this world. Finding your soulmate. Isn't that a good enough reason to celebrate?" asked Daneen. I rolled my eyes at her words.

How did they even expect me to be happy about a fat shamer choosing me? Weren't any of them a bit angry over the way Ibrahim and his mother behaved? Did they fail to notice that or was I being too fastidious about things? I was confused.

"For God's sake, he was trying to suggest diet plans for me. I'm sorry but that's not the kind of thing I expected to hear from someone who could become my soulmate. It was all so judgemental," I said. Zoya nodded.

"Aiyo! That was his idea of a conversation. Maybe he was nervous and he wanted to say something. Just ignore it, Lish. It's not like he's really going to sit and come up with a diet plan for you," said Shaheen with a chuckle.

Oh poor thing! She had no idea of what Ibrahim was capable of doing. She thought of it as a casual statement but I was one hundred percent sure about receiving a diet plan from him.

Anyway, my anger wasn't even about that. The real concern was about him having the audacity to suggest such things. How dare he? It just showed that he had zero respect for me as a person.

"Yeah I think so too. And even if he does, there's nothing wrong in it. It would only be helpful for you. Think of it that way. After all, you do need a diet plan," added mom.

"Mom, this isn't about dieting. Of course I need it and I know how to plan things for myself. I just don't want any random idiot to be talking to me about it. I hope you understand the difference," I retaliated.

My response came out ruder than it was supposed to be. And there it started — the argument between mom and me. Thanks to Ibrahim, we were having a very heated one.

Hearing us shout at each other, dad walked into the room. "What's going on?" he asked.

I kept quiet at first and let the others speak. Once they were done, I added, "Not just the diet. He was also being very disrespectful to dad. Such a moron!"

Again, mom and my elder sisters started defending stupid Ibrahim's arrogant behavior by naming it 'tension' and 'nervousness'. I expected at least dad to agree with my point but even he ended up saying, "Ah no. That's just a small thing. I didn't mind it. As long as he keeps you happy, I don't care about anything that he says to me."

His response made it evident that he was hurt but was pretending to be okay with it simply because he wanted things to work between me and Ibrahim. It felt like my whole family was ready to go to any extent to find a husband for me, even if it included giving up their dignity.

I was mad at them. I also felt sorry for them. Above all, I felt worried about my own pathetic fate.

Why did I have to deal with any of this? Perhaps if I were thin like other girls, things would have been easier for me. Maybe then I need not have even met an imbecile like Ibrahim. I felt like all my problems would have disappeared if only I had weighed lesser than I was.

No embarrassment. No sorrow. No compulsion. I could have had my own way with life if only I were smaller in size.

But then I was overweight and there was nothing that I could do to change my horrible fate. I was heartbroken at the thought of it. This felt like the end of everything. One part of my brain told me that I should continue to fight. The other part wanted me to just accept the ugly truth and go ahead with things like everyone else suggested.

Perhaps I tried both and in the end I gave up and succumbed to despair. There was nothing much to do anyway.

So, while my family was busy planning the engagement and sticking up for Ibrahim, I excused myself and went to bed. It was only 7:30 pm and I had not even eaten but I decided to sleep. I had a terrible headache and I wanted to rest. I didn't know whether a break could fix anything but I did it anyway.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, things were much worse than I had anticipated.

The first thing I read as soon as I opened my eyes were a set of WhatsApp messages from the previous night. Super annoying and frustrating messages from my sisters on the group.

Shaheen: girls guess what? 👀
Zoya: 🙄
Aira: what? 🤔
Shaheen: they really sent it 😄
Daneen: sent what? 🧐 who?
Shaheen: the diet plan 🤭
Zoya: WTH 🤬
Daneen: awww
Daneen: looks like Ibrahim is really in love with our Lish 🤪
Zoya: 🤦🏾‍♀️🔫
Daneen: what now @Zoya? 😏
Zoya: ur desperation makes me wanna 🤮
Daneen: shut up little brat 😠
Aira: like a proper plan @Shaheen?
Shaheen: yeah a well-detailed one 😄
Daneen: show us too 😍
Daneen: maybe we also can lose weight following it 🤗
Shaheen: I forwarded it to Alisha 😊
Shaheen: let's see what she says
Shaheen: she doesn't have to follow the whole thing. But maybe only what's necessary 😅
Aira: is it that bad? 😥
Daneen: yeah why do u say that?
Shaheen: it seems to be very tough 😬
Daneen: tough = a working diet 😀👌
Aira: pls stop ur suspense and post it here 😐
Daneen: Aiyo yes 🤣
Shaheen: ok wait

With that Shaheen had posted a screenshot of a diet plan. It did not look like something that had been downloaded off the internet. It was truly made by someone just for me because it was titled 'Weekly Meal Plan for Aleesha'. I mean, yes, my name wasn't spelled that way but I was the only Alisha I knew in my circle. And obviously it wasn't possible to find diet plans addressed to a particular name on Google, right? So, it was evident. That was a customized meal plan for me.

Ibrahim seemed to have very good Excel skills. But was I supposed to be impressed with it? Hell no!

Guess why? Because his meal plan was extremely nightmarish and nauseating! There was not a single mentioning of carbohydrates or sugar in it. It was all about proteins. What did he want me to be? A body-builder? A model? A healthy food blogger?

I mean, no offense but which normal human being in a Sri Lankan middle-class household would have only green smoothie for breakfast, two egg whites and spinach for lunch and salmon and greens for dinner? Wasn't this being too extreme? Oh by the way, dinner was included only for the first two days. Then I had to skip that too.

Honestly, this was the kind of meal plans you would find only on fancy Instagram feeds and Google. Something that healthy non-Asians would enjoy. Not something to be suggested for a true brown family product like me whose body thrived on rice and bread.

Ibrahim was probably out of his head. If he really wanted anyone to follow this diet plan, then he should ideally find himself a fitness freak. I was the wrong choice!

I continued to read the messages to feel the pulse of my sisters after seeing the plan.

Daneen: wow 😳
Daneen: tough indeed 🤭
Aira: this is torture 
Zoya: 😡
Daneen: but it will definitely work 😊
Shaheen: yeah I think so too
Aira: it might but still 😕
Zoya: yeah it will work but at what cost? Will she be even alive?! 😠
Aira: 😢
Daneen: no one's going to die by dieting silly
Shaheen: that's why I said she doesn't have to follow the whole thing. Maybe parts of it at least to respect his efforts 😊
Daneen: yeah it's sweet of him to make this just for her 🤗
Aira: hmm it's anyway good to cut down sugar
Aira: if she can handle it then no prob 😊
Aira: at least she would finally get the transformation she always wanted
Shaheen: yeah let's see what she says 😊

What the hell? They all seemed to be pretty supportive of the diet. Didn't they feel even a bit angry at Ibrahim for suggesting it? Or were they pretending?

Zoya was the only one who held a different opinion in her texts. I wanted to discuss with her at least about it but then she was still sleeping. So, I replied to the group, "I am planning to diet but this is absurd. I'm not doing it! 😣"

Following it, a flood of messages arrived from my sisters.

Shaheen: why don't you try it for 2-3 days and continue it only if you like it? 😊
Shaheen: he might get hurt if u don't even try
Daneen: that's a good idea 👍
Daneen: give it a try and decide Lish ❤️
Aira: yeah no harm in trying 😇
Me: I don't want to follow that idiot's diet! 😖
Daneen: how about u forget that he gave it?
Daneen: just treat it as something u found online 😘
Aira: yeah think of it that way
Me: 😒😒😒
Shaheen: u can try it for this reason at least
Me: what?
Shaheen: apparently within a week u will be able to lose significant weight with this diet. He told.
Me: how many kilos? 🤨
Daneen: we will know only if u try 🤪
Aira: hehe yes 😅

Okay, now that was very tempting. I mean, none of my previous diets had ever brought results within a week. Therefore, I felt like trying it solely for that reason. I mean, forget about Ibrahim. If I could lose these extra pounds through some way, that would be the best thing ever, right?

So, I agreed. And my diet was supposed to start by lunch because I did not have enough time to make the meal prep before breakfast.

In the meantime, I got hit with the last supper syndrome. You know, that feeling of wanting to eat all the remaining junk food for one last time before you start a clean diet? Yes, that was what I had. And it was nothing new for me.

I hunted the refrigerator and the kitchen for all sorts of tasty food from chocolates to ice cream to coffee to even bread and butter with sugar. I devoured everything like a person who had not eaten in ten days. With each bite, I imagined how my life would be starting from lunch. I knew it would be miserable. I wanted to postpone the diet to tomorrow but then I had already agreed on the group to begin it today. So, I decided to stick to it.

A little later, it was lunch time. I sat down to eat my egg whites and veggies. Not even a minute passed by before I finished it. Mom and dad asked me to have some rice. I so badly wanted to accept the offer but with the greatest difficulty, I managed to say 'no'.

Both my stomach and heart felt empty. I was hungry, angry and sad. But I knew I had to do this, no matter how hard it was going to be.

I had to do this — not for Ibrahim — but for myself.

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I just want y'all to know that I don't endorse these diets in any way just because I write about it 👀 Neither do I intend to talk about its transformations in a positive way 😌🙌🏾
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