Seungkwan grabbed YeongMi's arm and began pulling her away from the boys.

However, a pair of arms latched around her waist and pulled her back.

While Jeonghan and Seungkwan were arguing, YeongMi was wondering how much longer she would let them pull on her arms like a wishbone before she hit one, or both, of them.

Probably both.

Yeah, definitely both.

"I have to take her home!"

"As her best friend, I say I should come with, it's my right."

Was this about her, or them? Because she really couldn't tell.

"Goddamn it, I'm her brother, let me be the favourite for once!"

Jeonghan let go, and YeongMi stretched out her arm, cursing him for the soreness.

"Goddamn, you don't have to be so rude." Jeonghan walked away slowly, and YeongMi wanted to laugh, but seeing her brothers serious face, she held it in.

They walked slowly; YeongMi felt the awkward silence compressing her lungs.

Please don't ask, please don't ask, please don't ask-

"So, you're going to tell me why you screamed. Because I know that scream. It's the scream that hides your pain with anger. That's what you did when our parents forgot you in the Museum in France, and the Shopping Centre in China, and, well, every other time. That's the scream you did when Kwanji cut your pigtails when you were 5. That's the - "

"Okay, okay, I get it, it's serious."

"So tell me."

YeongMi stayed silent. She bit her lips, tearing at the skin until she tasted the warm, tinny blood, as if she was rusting over.

She could feel the pressure, the embarrassment, the fear, all of it, pressing down on her, restraining her throat and making every step heavier than the last.

Clawing at her throat, tearing up her stomach, pulling at her tendons, and playing her arteries like banjo strings, tugging and jerking until she felt like her insides would tear apart.

A hand on her arm, and Seungkwan was pulling her from the despair.

"I'm not taking another step until you tell me what's going on with you. Now."

"It's nothing," YeongMi could hardly speak.

She didn't matter, so why should she trouble him with her pathetic, trivial troubles?

"YeongMi, we don't have time for this. I'm asking you, seriously, because I want to know. You need to tell me, please."

She was mortified to find that she was shaking.

When did she get so weak? It was pathetic.

She was pathetic.

His arms were around her in an instant, and his warmth was pressing into her, edging it's way through her frigid veins to thaw her frantic, frozen heart.

A hug from her brother, that was all it took for her to break down.

"I'm a failure," she clenched her hands into fists, stretching out the fabric of her brother's shirt, "I'm a fucking failure, I'm worthless, I don't matter, I don't do anything right!"

Her voice was a hoarse yell of a whisper, and her chin was probably painfully digging into his shoulder, but Seungkwan kept very still, save for his fingers drawing miniscule circles on her back, trying to ease the tension of stress.

"I know I push everyone away. I know it, that just makes it worse, because I still do it, even though I know it's bad. I just can't trust anyone, not even myself."

And now that she had finally started, finally said it out loud, she couldn't stop, and it came pouring out, a tsunami, pushed out with the tears, wave upon wave of insecurities and thoughts that she hadn't even allowed herself to hear.

"I'm afraid, I'm afraid of everything. I'm afraid of having real connections with people. I'm afraid of not having real connections with people. I'm afraid of failing our parents. I'm afraid of not failing them. I'm afraid of making friends. I'm afraid of not making friends. I'm afraid," her voice went down to a whisper, as she was afraid of speaking it aloud, "I'm afraid of never being able to love."

And with that, she closed herself off again, pulling away and wiping her face clear, looking up to stop any leftover tears. 

And the sinews around her caged heart merged together once more, restraining the bleeding heart from any more damage, but also any more healing.

"Anyways, it's fine now, I was just being stupid."

She began to walk again, leaving Seungkwan standing there, staring.

"No, you weren't. You were being vulnerable." YeongMi paused, allowing Seungkwan to move back to her side. "That's okay, you know. Being vulnerable. It's normal."

"Not for me," she muttered under her breath.

"That's because you act like you're made out of stone." YeongMi sniffed angrily, turning away from her brother. "YeongMi, you're not. You act like it, so much so that I think you believe it sometimes. But it's not true."

She hated the fact.

"Mi, please, don't prevent yourself from experiencing life just because you're scared of getting hurt. You're just ensuring a lonely life that way."

Why did he always have to be right? It was infuriating.

They arrived at Jin's vacation house, and YeongMi turned to her brother.

"Can you stay here? I don't want you walking back alone. Someone might steal you."

Seungkwan gave her a sad smile.

"We're not finished talking about this."

YeongMi ignored him, "seriously, I won't let you go alone, so now we're stuck in an endless cycle of walking each other back."

Seungkwan shook his head, "It's okay. Vernon followed us."

YeongMi looked around; she didn't see anyone. And then, a shift of the sand, and she could make out someone crawling in the sand.

Idiot.

Sighing, she watched her brother disappear with his friend.