𝟬𝟰𝟱 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋





BORN TO DIE ╱ DRACO MALFOY
꒷꒦ · ˚.‧ . written by ella . . . © -lostgardens
045 ━━━━━━━━━ ❛ greatest fear ❜

The next morning, Olivia woke up with a gasp, hastily looking around her room in terror. It took her a moment to realize where she was, but when she did, she concluded that she was just in her room and let out a ragged breath. It was just a nightmare. It was always just a nightmare, and she didn't know whether she preferred it that way or if she wanted it to actually happen so that she could finally end the faceless man once and for all.

It was her usual time of waking, so she got up and did her usual morning activities, already knowing that she wasn't going to fall asleep again. She took a shower, got dressed, brushed her hair and teeth, grabbed her robes, bag, and wand, then left the room completely alone as Pansy and Daphne slept soundly still, just like always.

The annoyance of how those two could do that so easily—just peacefully sleep without a worry in the world—clouded Olivia's mind every morning she'd shared a room with them. It was so unfair, and she despised that she felt that way.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, she went down to the common room, seeing it empty as always. Finding no interest in staying in there, she left out the hidden-on-the-outside door, trailing down the corridors of the dungeon.

The time was just past six in the morning, which meant she (and all other students) technically had permission to be out of the common room and dorms—though she was sure she was the only one out at this hour since the majority enjoyed their beauty sleep.

Her bag was hung on her left shoulder while one of her books rested in her tight grip. The sun was not showing its face yet, but she knew it would soon enough. In the meantime, she relished the fresh morning air that was hitting her senses with peace. Her boots sounded against the stone floors in a thudding pattern, leading her somewhere.

She didn't know where she was going to be truthful. She thought about going to the astronomy tower, but the memories of the night before and his scent still lingered there, so she opted out of it. Her next thought was the library, but she didn't know if she wanted to deal with Madam Pince this early in the day. The woman didn't practically like Olivia, especially when she came in there before she had her morning cup of tea.

Throwing the options out, she decided to just wander around the school for the time being. Breakfast would be starting in the next fifty minutes, give or take, so she had time to just relax and delight in her morning.

And so she did.

She explored the school for what was probably the millionth time, looking at the paintings, watching the sunrise, experiencing the crowds of students that seemed to get bigger and bigger as time passed, and finally she ended up in the Great Hall. The whole time, she was in a very good mood, for no particular reason she could pinpoint in her mind. All she knew was that she had a feeling about this day—a rather delightful one.

She was a little later than when breakfast started, so the group, now including Astoria, was already there, sitting at the table, when she made her way over. She took a seat next to Pansy and Lucas, giving them a small smile as they greeted her with one of their own.

Breakfast was mostly quiet; no one had anything to say, or rather, they were too tired to say it. Olivia was surprised Theodore hadn't made some comment about her being awake so early and still being late to breakfast—perhaps he had grown too bored of that tease. Whether the reason it be, she was glad for it, not wanting any particular hazing to dampen the best she'd felt in a long time.

After eating, they left to go to class alongside their schoolmates. Lucas and Astoria peeled away from the group in two different directions, both going to their own class, and the rest of them made their way to Transfiguration.

They sat through that lesson, listening on and on to McGonagall pile on about Animagi, which was a subject that quite fascinated Olivia. But her friends—not so much. She had caught Pansy sleeping a couple of times and had to elbow her awake.

But finally, once that class was done and over with, they made their way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom for their first class of that subject and with Professor Lupin of the year. Olivia was looking forward to it. She had known Lupin for most of her life, seeing as though he was formerly part of the Order, much like her parents and...

That was when it dawned on her, and she knocked on herself for not realizing it before. She turned the corner of the corridor, walking in front of her group and nearing the classroom. Remus Lupin had once been apart of the Order, along with her parents, Dumbledore, of course, Potter's parents, Peter Pettigrew, and a whole bunch of other light-side wizards that were fighting against dark forms of their world. But the one that really stuck out in her mind was Sirius Black.

Sirius Black had been part of the Order alongside Lupin, James Potter, Lily Potter, and all of those other light-side wizards. She knew this—she had known this all along, but it had slipped from her always-analyzing mind before she could catch it.

It wasn't a coincidence that Lupin magically showed up to play professor when Sirius Black was freshly escaped from Azkaban. It couldn't be.

She wondered what the man's connection to the murderer was, besides once being on the same side and working for the once-secret organization.

They were about the same age, and both were formerly Gryffindors, so it wasn't too hard to venture that they went to school together. Perhaps they were even friends during their time at Hogwarts.

Her parents were quite a bit older than the two; they would've been in their fifth year when the new professor and the murderer started at Hogwarts. That meant she couldn't ask them; Olivia didn't believe they would've kept up with the friendship of two Gryffindors that were five years younger than them. But Snape—he was around Lupin's age; perhaps he knew the man well when he was just a schoolboy. Her mother did say that the man was there if she needed guidance, and this seemed like a time for guidance.

"Olivia," Pansy said with confusion, grabbing the girl's arm to bring her back towards her and into reality. "Where are you going?" she asked, furrowing her brows as Olivia stared at her with a raised-brow expression. "The classroom is right here." She lifted a slim finger, pointing to the open door, where inside students had already begun to gather, and in the complete opposite direction Olivia had been heading.

Olivia glanced around the corridor, finding the eyes of her group, giving her confused looks, and then she focused on her roommate. "Right," she replied, shaking off the lost-in-thought feelings. "I was thinking about something," she admitted, though no one asked. Offering a tight-lipped smile, she gently took her arm from Pansy's grasp and walked into the classroom, not paying any mind to the curious looks her group were giving her.

She looked around the classroom, her eyes immediately falling onto Lupin, who stood at the front of the class, leaning his bum against his dark-wood desk. As she studied him for a moment, he didn't seem to notice her suspicious gaze and continued looking at the piling-into-the-room students, who were chatting amongst their friends. Then she looked over to the man's right, focusing on the cabinet that stood tall, old, and terribly used. Perhaps it was a wardrobe. She didn't know, and she didn't particularly care to tell the difference.

Her brows furrowed, pondering what could be the use of it (and what it was) as she and her friends (and Daphne) set their books and bags down at the back of the class like others were doing and found their spot on the right side of the class. It wasn't Olivia's typical place of stay, but she didn't feel like arguing or being on her own in the middle of the classroom, more towards the front. (Because she knew if she moved to the front, none of them would go with her.)

The chatter continued as all of the students made their way into the class, and then the bell rang. That was when, once everyone had fallen silent, the cabinet (wardrobe?) in front of them started to shake, almost like something was trapped and wanted to get out. That made Olivia even curiouser.

Lupin moved from leaning on the desk to circling the group of students, who now had their complete focus on the old piece of furniture in front of them. "Intriguing, isn't it?" the professor began. The wardrobe cabinet wobbled loudly again. "Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what is inside?" He sounded quite amused with the lesson he picked, and Olivia was sure that it was something worthwhile.

It did peak her interest, that was for sure.

"That's a boggart, that is," Thomas, a Gryffindor boy, answered.

Right, of course! How did she not figure that one out? It was clear as day.

"Very good, Mr. Thomas," Lupin praised, coming from the left side of the crowd of students as the wardrobe thudded even louder.

Some students jumped a little, slightly startled by the unexpected noise. Olivia's face remained blank as she continued staring at the piece of cabinet, trying to ignore the lingering gray eyes on her. His gaze was burning her face, and it was annoying. He was annoying. And she already regretted the idea of them being friends, especially telling him that they should be friends. (Not truly, but she was trying her hardest of to convince herself of it.)

Sending a glance back in the boy's direction, she saw a small smile form on his lips, and she just shook her head, focusing back on the professor. "Now, can anyone tell me what a boggart looks like?" Lupin continued, stopping next to the desk he had been leaning against when they entered.

"No one knows," Granger began.

Weasley quickly turned around, looking startled. "When'd she get here?" he asked, with his voice matching the look on his face with its breathiness, shock, and confusion.

"Boggarts are shapeshifters," the girl continued, ignoring her friend's dramatics. "They take the shape of whatever a particular person fears the most," she explained, keeping her focus on the professor and speaking clearly. "That's what makes them so..."

"So terrifying," Lupin finished for her, stepping away from the table he leaned against. "Yes. Yes, yes, yes." The cabinet thudded again, louder this time around. "Luckily, a very simple charm exists to repel a boggart," he explained, stepping to stand next to the cabinet. He shot a glance back when it shook again. "Let's practice it now." He lifted a hand when he saw a student withdrawing their wand. "Uh, without wands, please." A small smile fell on his lips. "After me: Riddikulus," he instructed.

"Riddikulus!" the students repeated.

"Very good." Lupin nodded. "A little louder and very clear. Listen." He lifted a finger as he spoke. "Riddikulus," he repeated clearly for the students to copy.

"Riddikulus!" The students called out louder this time.

"This class is ridiculous," Draco scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Olivia looked back at him as Lupin said, "Very good." Then she glanced down at the boy's arm, which was in a sling. She met his eye as he looked down at her in annoyance, not with her but with the class. "What's ridiculous is that you're still wearing this sling even though it's unnecessary," she teased, messing with the fabric covering his arm. "And I happen to like this class."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, not finding amusement in her words.

She returned the look with one that mocked his, then she faced forward, focusing back on Lupin.

"Well, so much for the easy part," the professor continued, placing his hands in his trouser pockets. "You see, the incantation alone is not enough. What really finishes a boggart is laughter," he explained, leaning forward on his feet. "You need to force it to assume a shape you find truly amusing. Let me explain." He paused, looking over the faces of the students. "Uh, Neville," he called upon the Gryffindor boy with a rather gleamy tone. "Will you join me, please?"

The called-on boy looked around at the people staring at him with concern as the wardrobe thudded again. He seemed rather nervous, and Olivia believed that was how he always seemed.

"Come on, don't be shy," Lupin added encouragingly.

Draco leaned down, closer to Olivia's ear, and whispered, "I bet that if Longbottom goes up there, his boggart will be me." He sounded so sure of his belief. So arrogant. Typical Draco.

Olivia met his gaze, pulling back so that she could see him a little bit better. Her eyes went a little wider as a teasing smirk took over her face. "And I think if you went up there, your boggart would be Buckbeak. You know, since you're so traumatized from your scratch," she retorted, curling her fingers so that they looked like the hippogriff's talons and pretending to claw the boy's face.

He leaned back with his hand (that wasn't in the sling) in his pocket, giving her an unamused look as he exhaled through his nose. And she just faced forward, keeping the small smirk on her face.

"Come on. Come on," Lupin muttered as Longbottom continued to hesitate, offering the boy an encouraging and instructing wave to the front. It took the boy another moment, but he finally stepped forward, and Lupin said, "Hello." He greeted the boy with a small smile. "Neville, what frightens you most of all?"

"Get ready to see a less handsome version of me," Draco muttered in Olivia's ear.

She just playfully rolled her eyes and smacked his chest with the back of her hand. He took a step back with an amusement smirk on his face as he focused back on the lesson at hand. And both of them ignored the curious looks they were receiving from their friends behind them.

Ignoring? Not realizing? Same difference.

The nervous boy stammered something under his breath that no one could hear.

"Sorry?" Lupin raised his brows.

"Professor Snape," the boy replied, louder this time.

"Professor Snape?" Lupin chuckled as he repeated the boy's words. The students around them, including Olivia, laughed along with him. Snape wasn't scary by any means. "Yes. Frightens all," the man muttered, looking at the ceiling in amusement as the laughs died down. Well, not to Olivia, then. "And I believe you live with your grandmother." He focused his attention back on the boy in front of him.

"Y-Yes." Neville nodded. "But I don't want that boggart to turn into her either."

Students chuckled as the professor lightly shook his head. "No." The cabinet rumbled, the boggart inside ready to come out and show Longbottom his greatest fear—to show him Snape. His greatest fear was Snape. "It won't," Lupin assured. "I want you to picture her clothes—only her clothes—very clearly in your mind," he directed, alluding to the boy's grandmother.

"She carries a red hangbag," the boy began.

"We don't need to hear," Lupin interjected, raising his chin with a small shake of his head. "As long as you see it, we'll see it." He paused for a moment, letting the words sink into the boy's mind. "Now, when I open that wardrobe, here's what I want you to do," he continued, taking a step forward. "Excuse me," he mumbled as he passed Longbottom. He then began whispering in the boy's ear, but Olivia was too far away to hear what he was saying. Whatever he said made Neville look at him like he was mad. "Can you do that?" he voiced aloud.

"Yes." Longbottom sounded sure of his answer, but the look on his face was anything but.

Lupin withdrew his wand from the pocket inside his coat as the boy beside him followed his movements. "Wands at the ready," the man instructed. "One, two, three," he counted, then looked over at the cabinet, tipping his wand.

The knob turned hastily, and Olivia eased slightly forward in excitement. The door creaked open like one for a horror film, but nothing came out for a moment. Lupin took a step back, going behind the boy, who had his wand pointed forward, ready to cast the Riddikulus charm when he needed to.

After a second of nothing, a hand hit the front of the wardrobe, and there came the boggart, looking exactly like Snape. Olivia snorted quietly. She was still surprised that Neville's greatest fear, out of everything he could possibly be afraid of, was none other than Snape. That man was not scary one bit. But he was rather rude, and that cold and emotionless gaze could be a little intimidating to others, so perhaps she understood it more than she thought.

"Think, Neville, think," Lupin muttered to the boy as Snape stepped forward, closing in on the boy.

Longbottom was wide-eyed and nervous. But still, he stepped forward and flicked his wand at the boggart professor. "Riddikulus!" he called clearly and in a strong voice.

Students, including Olivia, as well as Professor Lupin, laughed as the man went from wearing his normal, all-black robes with a white collar to wearing what Olivia supposed was the boy's grandmother's choice of clothing, paired perfectly with the red handbag that he had mentioned before. The fake Snape looked rather embarrassed by the wardrobe, and she didn't blame him. It was pretty ghastly.

"Wonderful, Neville, wonderful. Incredible. Okay," the man praised.

Olivia quickly raised her hand before the professor could go on any further, knowing that he was probably going to tell them to form a line. She didn't want to miss her chance while she had it.

"Yes, Olivia?" Lupin gave her a questioning look.

"May I go next?" she asked, beaming at the thought of proving she was in fact not afraid of anything.

Lupin opened his mouth, going to speak as he looked at the crowd of students, then at her with a thin smile. Letting out a breath, he said, "Yes, I suppose." He gestured for her to move forward, which she did without a second of thought. "The rest of you, form a line," he instructed as he made his way over to his record player, placing the needle on the record. "I want everyone to picture the thing they fear the very most and turn it into something funny."

Olivia faced the students who were pushing and shoveling their way into a somewhat single-file line. She saw Draco shove someone—a Gryffindor—as he and the rest of their group, excluding Daphne, who hastily made her way to the front of the line, pushed their way to the back. Her eyes focused on the blonde girl as she successfully secured a second-place spot, right behind Weasley, who did not seem like he wanted to be in the front.

"Olivia," the professor muttered, catching her attention. She turned to face him, offering him a small smile. "Do you know the thing you fear most?" he asked, raising his brows as he leaned against that desk again.

"I don't fear anything," she nonchalantly admitted with a shrug. The faceless man popped into her mind, but she quickly squashed it. She did not fear him—not one bit. When she noticed him going to speak, she lifted a hand, stopping him. "I asked to go next so that I could prove that," she elaborated, pulling her wand out of the pocket in her robes. "And before you ask—no, I am not afraid of my parents or any professors, especially not Snape"—she lowered her voice, trying not to offend Longbottom with the second part—"and I don't have anything that keeps me up at night." That wasn't true, but no one except for her needed to know that.

"Alright then." He gave her a curt nod. "Step in front of the boggart, and we'll see if that's true," he instructed, waving a hand towards the boggart that still looked like Snape wearing Longbottom's grandmother's clothes.

Taking a deep breath, Olivia took a few steps forward, training her gaze on the professor in a horrid fashion. She could hear students behind her muttering, probably about her, and they all waited for the boggart to shift into something like it was supposed to.

It took a moment as the man's slightly embarrassed but nonetheless cold gaze remained on her, but the boggart began to change. And that was when the confidence Olivia had just moments ago died. She blinked, trying to make sure she wasn't seeing things. But nope, she wasn't.

The boggart was her. Her worst fear was herself, apparently.

"You're scared of yourself?" Weasley spoke loudly, sounding confused.

He always sounded confused. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"No, Weasley," she clipped, sighing. Her eyes remained on herself in front of her, studying her with disgust. "This isn't me." She was sure that confused him and the others just based on how many more whispers she heard. "Well, it is me," she corrected herself, taking a step forward, "but it's the weak and brittle version of me—the one that I will never become."

"Right," the boy muttered, his face flashing a hint of pink.

After a moment of silence, Olivia stepped closer to the boggart that was looking at her with curiosity. Of course, it was looking at her with curiosity—it was just a shapeshifter, no emotions lingering throughout it beyond the surface. She had to remind herself that it wasn't her. It wasn't her, because she'd never become that version of herself. Never, ever, ever.

Yes, the boggart had her likeness, but it wasn't the real her. This version was scarred and battered, looking as if she had been through hell and back and barely made it out alive. She was a broken, teary-eyed mess that was staring into Olivia's gaze with so much swirling in her expression.

"You need to save him," the boggart said.

Olivia blinked, shocked by the words and the fact that the boggart had spoken at all. Was she hearing things? Imagining things? Or did the fake reflection of her never-going-to-be self actually speak? And what did she mean, save him? Who was the 'him' she spoke of?

"You have to save him," it rephrased, taking a small step closer. It paused, continuing to stare at Olivia with those soulless eyes that matched her, despite the tears forming. It took a breath, titling it's head and giving her a look that made her assume it was mad. Angry with her for some reason.

Why would the boggart be mad at her? What did she do?

"You need to save him! You have to save him! Save him before it's too late! Don't just stand there; do it! Save him!" It shouted, clenching its hands into tight, white-at-the-knuckles fists as it stomped its foot on the hardwood floor.

The loudness of the voice startled Olivia, and she stumbled back a little. And that was when she looked down, seeing the battered and bruised legs and feet of the girl in front of her—bloody, dirty, not wearing any shoes, and scarred. It was truly and utterly the weakness she'd never have—the one that her mother always told her not to have. It was never going to be her.

"Save him, Olivia!"

"Olivia..." a voice broke through the boggart's, causing both versions of Olivia to whip their heads at Lupin. The man was giving her—the rightful, perfectly cold Olivia—a curious look, with his brows furrowed, a foot forward like he was stepping towards her, and his wand loosely in his right hand.

Olivia shook her head, looking away from him, as a chill ran down her spine.

"Olivia, are you going to cast the charm?" the professor asked, glancing between her and the boggart.

"What?" Olivia muttered, sniffling as she met his gaze with wider, confused eyes.

"I asked if you're going to cast the charm," he repeated, glancing at the boggart. It had a blank expression on its face, not at all like the close-to-crying, frustrated, and angry one Olivia had been staring at. In fact, the boggart looked normal—as normal as a boggart shaped into the likeness of a girl, showing what a brittle version of herself could be. "You've been staring at the boggart for a few minutes and haven't done anything."

"Have I?" Her brows furrowed even deeper. She wasn't just staring at it, was she? Why didn't he mention the fact that it yelled at her about saving someone? Why was it that when she looked at him and around the room, everyone was giving her a concerned look? "No. Did you not hear...?" she breathed, trying to make sense of it all.

Was it just in her head?

"Did I hear what?" Lupin inquired.

Clearing her throat and pulling herself out of her trance, Olivia shook her head, getting rid of the wondering thoughts. "Never mind that," she dismissed, waving a hand as she straightened her spine, meeting the boggart's blank gaze. "I would cast the charm, but I can't think of anything else that would make this"—she looked the boggart up and down with disgust—"a more ridiculous version of myself."

"Nothing comes to mind?" The man raised his brows, relaxing his shoulders. "Nothing at all?"

"Nope," she clipped, taking a step back. "Someone else can go." And with that, she walked away, stepping off to the side of the room, not bothering to go to the back where the rest of her group stood. She knew they were no doubt studying her curiously and with slight concern, like everyone else. She ignored all of the lingering eyes, however, and placed her wand back in her robes.

She didn't know what the boggart was talking about or why it had yelled at her to save someone, and no one else heard it. Maybe it was all in her head. Or maybe not. Either way, she didn't care. She truly didn't.

That was a lie, but it was one that she would be telling herself until she figured it out.

And she still had a lot of things to figure out.

Just another thing to add to her to-do list that was growing impossibly long with each passing day.

After an awkward moment of all of the students and Lupin glancing at her every so often, the man cleared his throat and offered the class a small smile. He put his wand back in his robes. "Alright, who's next?" He clasped his hands, causing Weasley, who still stood at the front of the line, to jump as he let out a whimper in fear. "Ah, Ron!" he gleamed, meeting the boy's worry-filled gaze.

Weasley took a step forward, gulping as Olivia's boggart stared him down, having not yet changed into his own.

"Concentrate. Face your fear," the professor encouraged in a low tone. "Be brave." His voice grew a little louder as the boggart quickly began to spin, transforming into whatever Weasley feared the very most.

Olivia watched closer with bored eyes as the version of herself twisted and turned into a giant spider—an Acromantula, to be exact. Giant and nasty-looking creatures that Olivia had been told lived in the forbidden forest, as well as some other parts of the wizarding world. Whoever had told her about the ones in the forbidden forest, she couldn't, for the life of her, remember. Though it didn't matter, now did it?

She'd never come across one of the giant spiders first-hand, and she was glad for it. They were terribly hideous creatures, and a shiver went down her spine just looking at the one in front of Weasley, the boy who let out another fear-filled whimper as his face twisted into even worse panic. She watched as he dug into his pocket to retrieve his wand, trying to face his fear, like instructed, as best as he could.

"A spider. Really, Weasley?" asked Olivia, with her arms crossed over her chest and one brow quirked as she gave him a bored look.

His head snapped towards her, the wide and panicked eyes turning into narrow slits as he glared at her. "Your fear is yourself," he retorted, giving her a look of annoyance as he learned forward.

She matched his movements, narrowing her eyes and taking a step forward as she leaned. "My fear is becoming that version of myself, you dimwit," she argued, not missing the warning gaze Lupin had fallen upon her. A few snickers fell from the lips of a few students, no doubt her friends, while Potter, Granger, and some other Gryffindors offered her a snarled expression. She just rolled her eyes in response, leaning back on the table behind her.

"Ron, focus," the professor interjected, causing the redhead to look at him.

Inhaling deeply, Weasley pulled out his wand and pointed it at the giant spider. It took him a moment of watching the creature that was snapping its pinchers at him to finally relax a little, but still, he was hesitant to cast the charm.

"Come on, wand at the ready, Ron. Wand at the ready," Lupin continued.

Weasley pointed his wand at the spider and called out, "Riddikulus!"

The spider gained rollerskates on each one of its thin legs, and it began slipping and sliding all around the floor. Students laughed, and Olivia would admit that even she got a little amusement out of it. She wouldn't admit that too loudly, though.

Lupin laughed as well. "You see?" The man's question was for no one in particular as he raised his wand, gesturing between the boy and the spider. "Very good, very good." He continued to watch the spider slide around, trying to regain its balance as students laughed. "Marvelous!" he cheered. "Absolutely, very, very enjoyable." He paused, taking a breath as he tried to calm himself. "Now, Daphne!"

The laughter quieted down as the blonde moved forward, trading places with Weasley. She gave the man a nervous look, which he countered with an encouraging smile. Olivia stood up a little straighter as she paid closer attention to the blonde girl.

Daphne stopped with her wand clutched in her hand and facing the rollerskates-wearing Acromantula. She inhaled deeply, and Olivia could see the rise and fall of her chest from where she stood. She seemed like she was trying to force herself to think of something—another fear, perhaps. Maybe she didn't want to let everyone see what her greatest fear was.

And that made Olivia wonder what it was.

The spider began to spin like it had with Weasley and her, shifting into whatever Daphne feared the most. And what it turned into was not what she had been expecting—well, not entirely. Olivia had believed that Daphne's fear would have something to do with her, but for it to be her and Draco looking rather... couple-y (that made her sick to her stomach), threw her off just a tad.

Daphne's face heated as she looked nervously around, her eyes lingering on Olivia's for a moment too long. And the blush on her cheeks grew even deeper when students began to giggle, watching the boggart in its Olivia-and-Draco-giggling-with-each-other form.

Olivia's stomach gurgled just thinking about it. They looked so lovey-dovey that way. They looked like more than friends (which is something they had only just become the night before). It was rather disturbing to think that, out of everything in the world to fear, that was Daphne's.

It made a little sense to Olivia, knowing that Daphne had that crush on Draco (which she honestly believed the girl was over by now). But her roommate had nothing to worry about.

Nothing at all.

Daphne didn't waste another breath being embarrassed before she lifted her wand, pointing it at the two lovebirds. "Riddikulus!" she cast, and suddenly the boggart versions of Olivia and Draco were covered in feathers and glitter and looked out of their minds, no longer giggling with each other. Now they looked ridiculous (rather fitting for the charm, Olivia reckoned) and like they had had too many sips of Firewhiskey.

After that, Daphne paced back to the end of the line to stand next to Pansy. But not before sending a glance in Olivia's direction, only to receive a small, slightly confused smile from the girl with her arms crossed over her chest.

Once that was out of the way, Lupin called on one of the Patil twins. Olivia didn't know which one it was. Distinguishing identical twins from one another was not one of her strong suits. The atmosphere of the room instantly changed from awkward to lighthearted. And that was when Olivia dimmed out the class, putting the words spoken, the giant cobra boggart formed, and the repeated charm cast to the back of her mind as she thought on her own boggart some more.

She had been right in telling Weasley that it wasn't her broken self that she feared, but becoming that version. It was rather odd that it was her fear. She was scared of becoming that version—yes. Maybe? But she also knew that she never would, so she wasn't scared at the same time. It made no sense; her mind worked in mysterious ways, like most.

"And next!" Lupin called, throwing his hand in amusement and gesturing for the next student to step forward. His voice threw Olivia back into reality, only to realize that she had only missed the Patil girl defeating her cobra, replacing it with a giant Jack in the Box (a clown version that looked rather disturbing than funny in Olivia's eyes).

Potter was next, and he stepped forward. He had a bright smile on his face and his wand clutched in his hand as he stared up at Parvati's clown, waiting for the boggart to shift into his fear. The Jack in the Box continued to swing back and forth, the boggart taking its sweet and precious time to alter as everyone watched closely.

Then, in an instant, Potter's expression changed, Olivia felt a shiver go down her spine, and Lupin's amusement died down. Something was off, and all three of them could feel it. The others, however, continued to laugh and giggle amongst themselves, no doubt wanting their turn to come faster so they could make their fears funny.

The boggart twisted faster than it had with any of the others, and the unsettling-looking clown turned into a soul-stealing, growling, death-wanting dementor heading straight for Potter.

Letting out a small, shocked gasp, Olivia stumbled back a couple of steps, falling harder against the long counter she leaned on, remembering how one of those things almost killed her on the train and almost stole the last bits of her soul, taking what she thought was her last breath. Her hands fell on the woodtop, knocking over some things, and they clattered to the floor.

When Draco had made the joke, it had thrown her off a bit, and she told him it wasn't funny, but then played it off like it meant nothing after the fact. But now, seeing one again? It made her soul ache.

Some other students gasped as well, and some barely had anything to realize what they were looking at. Potter pressed his wand forward, being one of the non-realizing students. Lupin moved in front of the boy quickly, blocking the boggart from him and untimely changing it to his own fear.

The moon.

Olivia caught her breath after a moment, her eyes flickering between the professor and the boggart he faced. It was a full moon with clouds surrounding it. Why would that be his greatest fear? She straightened her spine, furrowing her brows as she studied the man curiously.

"Riddikulus!" he called out before she could even think too long. The moon turned into a yellow balloon, flying around the room, passing students as it made its way back towards the cabinet. Lupin waved his wand, forcing the boggart back into its cell so that no one else could be faced with their fears for the day. The cabinet thudded like it had before when they entered the classroom, but the man ignored it and faced the crowd of students. "Right, well, sorry about that," he chuckled. "Uh, that's enough for today. If you'd all like to collect your books from the back of the class, that's the end of the lesson. Thank you."

Olivia continued to stare at him as the rest of the students groaned in annoyance that they didn't get their chance with the boggart.

"Sorry, sorry," Lupin apologized. "You can have too much of a good thing."

The students ignored his words and made their way towards the back of the class to collect their books, like they were told to, and Olivia remained in the front, her eyes falling on Potter, who stood watching the cabinet. She moved to take a step forward, knowing how the boy felt about the dementor since she felt the same, but Draco called her name.

Stopping in her tracks, she sent a glance in the blonde boy's direction. He gave her a small smile and nodded towards the open door where she could see her other friends standing in the corridor, probably waiting on them. And with a sigh, she gave Potter and Lupin one last curious look, then made her way over to the boy. He handed her books to her, and she didn't even bother to mutter a response as they exited the door.

When she stepped into the corridor, she was fully prepared to move on with her day and forget about that whole class altogether. But Daphne seemed to have different plans because her cold hand landed on Olivia's bicep gently, catching her attention.

"Uhm, Olivia, can I speak with you?" The blonde girl asked, glancing at Draco and the others, and then met Olivia's gaze. "Alone," she added, hinting at their friends to move along.

"Sure," Olivia muttered, furrowing her brows.

Draco and the others gave each other looks but continued on down the corridor, planning on waiting at the end as Daphne pulled Olivia off to the side and out of the way of students exiting the classroom behind them.

"First off, I just wanted to say that I don't know why that was my boggart—you and Draco, together," she began, her face twisting apologetically. Olivia raised her brows, more intrigued, as Daphne's hand fell off her bicep. "I'm completely over Draco—it was just a small, meaningless crush." Her voice sounded light and almost joking as she chuckled, but her eyes told a different story. "So if you ever wanted to, you know, go after him—that would be totally fine with me," she admitted.

Olivia blinked—confused momentarily. "What? Daphne, no, I—"

Daphne raised her hands in surrenderance, backing away slowly. "No, it's alright, truly," she interrupted, stepping backwards as she kept her eyes on Olivia. "It's fine. The boggart was a fluke." And with that, she walked away, going to meet their friends at the end of the corridor.

Olivia's brain hurt, and she just wanted to go to sleep. This day was supposed to be a good one. She had been in a good mood when she woke that morning, but now her mind felt completely boggled. And she needed sleep. First, her boggart, then the other boggarts, and now this? Daphne telling her—giving her permission—to go after Draco? Like that would ever happen.

She almost wanted to laugh at the thought, but instead, she shook the thought from her mind and followed the length of the corridor, only to meet Draco at the halfway point.

"What was that all about?" he asked, raising his brows.

"Did you not see her boggart?" Olivia retorted with confusion.

"No."

She sighed. "Of course you didn't."

≀⋆⁺₊⋆ ꗃ 𖦹⨳✺


















━━━━ ella's speaking !
another chapter that i absolutely love- act three is def my favorite so far!! i hope you enjoyed, and make sure to comment and vote!!

kisses.




━━━━━━━━━━ born to die,
© -LOSTGARDENS,        nov 2023

word count: 6743.   written: 11.22.23.   published: 11.26.23.

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