Leave me,

Leave us.

Never look back,

For only heaven knows....

How the smiles and jokes are only a wall from what's on the inside.

I can't let them see,

I can't let them see me like this...

So weak,

So....dark eyed.

No....I won't be this soulless....ruthless leader they want me to be.

I'm not like this....this ain't me.

If only i could live this life....sweet ole me with a family....

But the supposed warriors of heaven changed it all....my destiny....has and will always be to be evil....

And to destroy the world.

I hate it just like I hate myself....

But i have to be strong for them.

Cause only God knows what happens when we'll all lose it....

I have to push down all this,

Forget it and focus on the present....

Because the present is all that matters now.

As long as I write down what it was like to be good and have hope.....

I know I'll teach myself to do it again...

To be the old me.

I know that I can't look forwards for now....because the future is not looking good for me.....or for anyone for that matter.

I just need....I need to find myself and stop being this dependent.

I can't expect a shoulder to cry on, I can't expect so much from people when I'm so broken and messed up myself.

I shouldn't be this worthless thing that cries herself to sleep and wants to talk all the time....

I need to set some ground rules and make myself independent.

Even if it makes me different....

I can't look forwards now but I have to look back at the old me....the better me