This has turned more into a diary so I'm just gonna write.

Today I had to look after my four year old sisters who's a nightmare. I was with her for six hours. Now that I tried complaining to my mum ( she was doing house chores ) she told me that's she was only doing chores nearby and that it didn't count. I was so frustrated because I spent all my day doing useless shit when I could have been doing my assignment.

I have a few wonderful friends and a different sister ( she's not with me ) but I just feel so alone. I feel like I'm useless, I'm constantly ignored and criticised even though I try my best.

My birthday is coming up in five days ( 6th May ) and I don't feel like celebrating. I hardly ever get presents and if up they are things like clothes and things I don't need. I know I should be happy with even those but sometimes you just have to be selfish for once, you have to get something to make you feel appreciated.

I feel like shit and I know my birthday will be just like every year, just another day where i'm reminded that people don't care about me.

I just feel like crying but no tears come out of my eyes.

It's just makes me feel like "ugh".