[Not edited because I have to sleep and it's a long ass chapter, so enjoy it anyway xD]

***************

"A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other,
and that's exactly why ours ended."

***************

Max's POV

My gaze flickered from the girl's hand over my arm to her face, closely noticing her seductive smile and the way she fluttered her eyelashes at me, all coy and flirtatious. I observed the twinkle in her dark green eyes as she went on telling me about her last summer, her soft voice lacing with an Italian accent, and if possible, it made her sound even hotter. I was slowly getting drawn into this, as much as she was. Great.

Sometimes you gotta love vacations, it's always easier to get laid.

There is one problem though; for the love of me, I can't remember her name. Still, not a dealbreaker, I can find a way to not use her name throughout the night.

Our conversation got interrupted by Wyatt, the little shit came to my side, his hand landing on my back and almost knocking my drink off, "We're starting another volleyball match, one is missing on the team, come on," He urged, practically forcing me to join them.

I shook my head, "Not now-" I started to say and the Italian girl whose name I've forgotten smiled at me, "Oh, come on, show us your talents American boy," She said with a teasing wink, for some reason thrilled with the idea of me playing.

I nodded, agreeing for her sake and placed my drink aside. Wyatt dragged me along immediately, "She is hot," He said and I shot him a glare, "Go look at girls your age," I shot out and he just rolled his eyes at me.

When we reached the volleyball net, I noticed the two teams at each side. On our side were two girls, a guy we met here at the party, Nathan, Wyatt and me. Everyone got ready into their positions and I saw...whatever the hell her name is take a seat on the side, her eyes on me as she rested her chin over her hand and just watched us. She smiled, ever so warmly and I returned the smile, more than sure that tonight is all covered.

Hearing his voice, my eyes drifted to Nathan beside me and at my gaze, his eyes went from Wyatt and fell on me. I immediately looked away, walking in the opposite direction and getting the ball. I didn't talk with him after my little outburst earlier today. I wanted to apologize but still didn't get the chance yet, especially after Lilly barged in with the news of my attacker. Everyone's nerves was on high alert after and since then, against my will, my mind keeps drifting back to that incident.

To how they cornered me, to how I let them do it, to the look in his eyes as he twisted the knife in my guts, to the promise in his words as he said it was payback for my father, or well, for both of them. Anger fueled my chest at the thought, the rage accumulating at my inside since the morning pushed me forward, scoring more than once as we played against the other team, finally getting a chance to let it all out.

The guy on the opposing team looked furious when we scored for almost the sixth time in a row. He gave me a daring challenging look, I returned it by speeding toward the net, ready to serve the ball away when my shoulder came colliding with someone, accidentally pushing him away.

The collision had the ball falling down, them scoring for once as I turned to the right, my eyes on Nathan as he staggered a bit to the side, "Are you okay?" I asked, cursing inside at my impulsive action. My head was so into the game that I didn't seem to notice anyone else.

First, I screamed at the boy and told him I am not his brother and now, I physically pushed him away. Great. If he did like me before, I am sure he doesn't anymore.

He didn't even look at my side, his eyes focused on the opposing team as he nodded his head, the muscles of his jaw working as he gave me a curt answer, "I am."

I rushed a hand over my face before I backed away, deciding to keep a distance from him as we resumed playing. I focused my negative energy on the game and a couple of minutes later, the match ended with our team in the lead. That same guy mumbled incoherent words in Italian, that I am sure were more like curse words as he angrily threw the ball away, being a sore loser.

I rolled my eyes at his overdramatic reaction before my gaze drifted away, walking and trying to find that girl in between the crowd, get her out of here and into my house and just call this a night. I halted to a sudden stop when my eyes noticed a flash of a wavy ginger hair that was just so familiar, the side of her face to me as she talked with someone.

For a second, I froze, my mind trying to grasp into the hazy image of her in my memories, trying to check if she is the same girl or not. I shook myself out of the haze and pushed through the crowd, wanting to reach her side, to get closer and make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me now.

It has got to be her, I am sure.

She left the side of the girl she was talking to and walked away. Fuck. People were crowding my space, making it harder to keep track of her as I followed along, my gaze focused on the unique color of her hair, hoping it won't get lost between the massive number of people scattered all over the beach.

I wanted to call for her but for god's sake, she didn't even tell me her name that day. I bet if she did, her name won't be as easy to forget. I'd be lying if I said she didn't cross my mind more than once after that day. The stranger on the roof, stopping me from jumping off when I totally wasn't about to, the one who thought my parents were homosexual and told me I owed it to myself to try and give Nikolas a chance. I mean, this is how best-selling epic romance novels start.

I paused to a stop when I lost track of her. My gaze drifted around the crowd, trying to pinpoint her again but failed. I cursed under my breath and air harshly pushed out of my chest. In my aimless search, my eyes fell back on Nathan and that angry guy from the other team. He and his friends were crowding him, the conversation being exchanged reflected utter hostility.

I rushed back to their sides, knowing exactly where this was heading into. That guy was seeking trouble the second we started playing. It was obvious. My eyes grew wide when the group of guys edged forward at him and looked more than ready to attack. They were all older and more in number but Nathan stood his ground, he didn't seem the least threatened.

My eyes fell on the guy's hand, how it curled into a fist, how he raised it and everything after played in a swift quick motion. I landed by his side, my hand curled over Nathan's arm, pushing him away from them and their attack, and right then, the guy's fist came crashing against my head, it collided with my temple, slightly pushing me backward and for a second there, the world turned into a blur.

I blinked my eyes open, I heaved for a breath as I grasped for control before the rage broke free and I whirled around. My hand flexed and fisted, the grinding of my teeth grating in my ears, and something knocked loose in my chest, a wild need to break the guy's face without any restraints, and it was about the most fucking unpleasant feeling I'd ever experienced. I acted on impulse, on the wildfire raging in my chest as my fingers wrapped over his shirt and I pushed him away. The second his back collided with the small red bus supplying alcohol to everyone in the party, my fist landed on his face, snapping it to the side, his temple colliding with the rusty metal and blood seeped through. It didn't stop me from landing another punch, bewildered at just every damn thing.

"Come near him again and I will fucking kill you," I grated out before I let go of his shirt, stepping backward, aiming to end this here but his friends had other plans as one of them came at me. I groaned in annoyance but fought him too, dodging his punches before I pushed him away, kicking him hard enough that he fell to the ground. His hand grasped the empty beer bottle thrown at the ground, desperately wanting to end this night with a bloody mess as he jumped up to his feet, clenching his jaw as he marched forward.

I was ready to fight back but I was interrupted. I didn't understand what happened all of a sudden, someone came in front of me, shielding me behind. My eyes fell at how he effortlessly stopped the guys in his tracks and snatched the glass bottle out of his grasp. He threw it at the ground, away from us before he twisted the guy's hand behind his back. The guy's whimper of pain satisfied me but when my eyes flickered up to Nikolas, all the anger I thought I had released rushed back with a bang. His fingers curled over the guy's neck, he hissed something at him and the guy's eyes grew wide in fear before Nikolas let him go, the simple action had the guy staggering backward and cowering away.

The crowd of people cleared out, everyone else getting the message that the show ended. I looked behind me to see Wyatt folding a pocket knife, wiping the blood from it before he pushed it into his pocket. My eyes moved to one of the guys who was clutching his bloodied arm. My eyebrows pulled closer, "What the-"

He shrugged, innocently, "Nathan held him back and I did my magic," He said, as if this was just so normal, "They messed with the wrong family," He added, ever so casually before he looked down at his shirt, "Oh man, this was my favorite shirt!" He whined, noticing the few blood drops splattered there.

Oh, for the love of god...

I turned around, my eyes falling back on Nikolas, he was saying something to Nathan before he looked at me. He stepped forward and I took a step backward, his worried eyes on my temple, "Are you okay?" He asked.

My jaw ticked, "I am fine," I grumbled, turning around and ready to walk away from this but he had other plans, as always invading my personal space. His hand landed on my arm, it curled over it and he turned me around, stopping me from escaping.

My jaw clenched harder as I snatched it out of his grip, "Let me check it out," He stressed out, frustration seeped within his words as his hand landed again on my arm, his grip tighter now as he pulled me closer, his other hand went to my face, checking the cut over my temple but the second he touched it, I flinched away.

My reaction had the muscles of his jaw working, "Which one of them did this?" He grated out, his eyes darkening and I shook my head, "None of your business," The words tumbled out without thinking and by now, I guess he is used to my hostility toward him because he didn't react, instead he wiped the blood away, "Come with me, I will-"

I again snatched my arm out of his grip, stopping him from acting all caring, "I can take care of myself," I grumbled out, stopping myself from saying the other words on the tip of my tongue; I don't need you for that.

I let my words die there and turned around, walking the hell away from him, hoping he'll get the message this time. I reached the back of our house but still wasn't ready to enter it yet, needing this fresh air to fill my aching lungs, needing this anger to just...leave me be. I slumped down on one of the chairs and breathed, in and out, gaining back my control and calming down my insides.

A couple of minutes later, I felt someone come to my side and settle on the chair next to me. I turned my head, my eyes falling on Nathan, his gaze focused on the sea ahead of us, on how the late night air pushed at the water, intertwining its waves, one on top of the other till it was the only sound surrounding us, beside my heavy raged breathing.

"Are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room or not?" He started, turning his head toward me and my eyebrow raised, "I don't see any elephants around."

He smiled, a small one as he shook his head; he straightened himself in his seat, his expression turning serious, "You hate my father," He stated and before he can ask me to see the good in his father like everyone is pushing me to, I stopped him, "Nathan, look-"

"And I am not here to tell you otherwise, or to force you into something you don't want," He carried out, saying what I didn't expect, "I bet everyone is asking you to give this a chance, but it's obvious that you...can't."

I shook my head, "I can't."

He nodded before his gaze drifted back to the sea, his throat bobbed heavily, the look in his eyes as if almost wishing I said something else, "I may not understand the whole story and to be honest, I don't want to, I get that it's...complicated," He said, the way he is dealing with everything proved to me that he was way more mature than his age and I wanted to hear him out, hear what he has to say, of what he thinks about all of this, "But the important thing is," He looked at me, "What is it that you want?"

"I want my old life back," I said the truth, I felt like I could just say the truth, "Where I had my father, my mother and Lilly, that's all," I don't need more. I don't want more.

"Then why are you here?" He questioned, not addressing the physical location, but the idea of being here, "We were coming here alone, but then when I saw that everyone else is here as well, I kind of got the idea it wasn't just a vacation," He added and I nodded, "No, not just a vacation, it's me trying to adjust to...." To all these new members of my family that I didn't even know existed.

"To us," He said the words on my behalf and I nodded, "I owe it to everyone to at least try," I added.

He nodded, in understatement, "Is it working?" He asked.

I shook my head, "It's not," It just can't, "I am not talking about you, it's just-" I started to explain, not wanting him to get the wrong message.

"No, I get it," He replied, "The way you hit that guy, it wasn't normal, it's almost like you used him as your own punching bag," He noticed.

My gaze drifted down to my hand as I curled my fingers into the inside of my palm and noticed the bruises on my knuckles from the fight, "This anger...it started the day I learned the truth," The day I got attacked, "And I just," I shook my head, "I can't get rid of it." It goes one moment, then comes back the next.

"I think it's because you're forcing yourself into something you don't want," His words had me facing him, realizing how true they are.

Why would I do that? Why would I try when I am sure by the end of this 'vacation', my decision will still be the same?

"Can you not tell anyone about this," I requested, knowing he realized the decision I will be making, "I just don't want to ruin anyone's vacation now," I added, "I can just tell your uh...father about it in the end before we leave."

Tell him that I don't want him in my life, he said he will grant me that if I wanted to, and it's exactly what I want.

He nodded, "Yeah sure," He rushed a hand over his neck, "I won't say a thing, don't worry."

I got up to my feet, my eyes drifting to him again and my eyebrows pulled closer, "You are more mature than your age," I commented, he is the same age as Wyatt yet they're continents apart in terms of personality.

"I get that a lot," He answered, the side of his lip pulling up in a half smile.

He got up to his feet as well, ready to leave, "By the way," He started, "Thank you for what you did back there," He said, nodding toward the other side of the beach, "Although I could've totally handled him myself."

I couldn't hide my smile and my eyebrow raised at his confidence, "So, I guess this over-confidence trait runs in the family, huh?"

He returned my words with a smile, nodding his head, "Yeah, I guess it does."

****************

Nikolas's POV

The anger that rushed from him, the same waves of rage that pounded and fought all over my chest, adding more distress into this fucked-up day. As if the fact that whatever his name is was alive, as if Christian escaping and both of them out there planning to harm us and our family wasn't enough already.

I pushed the door open, the anger directed at myself mostly, because up till Lilly showed me his picture, I could pretend he didn't exist, that he died, all those years ago, that Isaac didn't continue to live through his precious heir, the one returning to resume his mission and get the job done. The one existing only to prove Isaac's last words true.

The one that hurt Max because of me, because of what I once did to him.

"Are you okay?" Natalie's words shook me out of my haze, my eyes falling on her before they flickered to Alex, who was munching on an apple, ever so casually, as if the whole world is not out there to get us right now, "He is always like this, didn't you get used to him?" Alex answered on my behalf and Natalie slapped his arm playfully.

I shot him a glare, "I am fine," I answered her before I looked around the room, "Where are Maria and Lilly?" I asked, noticing their absence.

"Lilly texted me when we were outside that they went to Katherine's place," Natalie answered.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "Why did they go there?"

She shrugged cluelessly and Alex paused in his eating, he huffed out a breath, "I think I know why," he grumbled before he stepped closer, "Hold my apple," He pushed his half eaten apple into my hand and I wanted to smash it at his face, "I will go get your daughter."

My eyebrows pulled closer, "I am coming too," I said, following him as he left the house. My eyes fell down on the stupid apple still in my grip and I threw it away; sometimes I really surprise myself from how much I tolerate him. I shook my head at the thought and followed him inside Ashton's house, sensing that he is up to something.

We came across Katherine first, she immediately stood at the head of the stairs, blocking our way. Her eyes flickered between us before they narrowed at Alex, "What do you want?"

"Where is your son?" He shot out.

"My son is sleeping, what do you want from him?"

My jaw ticked, understanding and I stepped forward, "Where is my daughter?" I asked.

"She fell asleep," She said, "I will go get her for you," She suggested, "Just...just stay here."

Alex scoffed, not buying it and pulled her to the side, making his way up the stairs and I followed immediately, "Hey, hey, get back here!" Katherine shot out, rushing up as well to catch up with us.

Alex opened one of the room's door and when my eyes fell on them, my jaw ticked, this day just getting worse by the second, "Oh, you must be kidding me," I hissed, my hand involuntary going to the back of my pants, pulling my gun out but Alex stopped me, "Hey, hey!" He shot out, his eyes growing a bit wide and tightening his grip over my arm, forcing me to push the gun back.

His interference had Katherine gain speed on us and block the room's entrance, she closed the door, being careful, "Shush you both, they're sleeping!" She hissed out.

I groaned in anger and stepped forward, I was past making sense as I grated out, "Get out of my way," Before I could explain in explicit details what I will be doing to her dear son, I felt a hand over my shoulder, harshly pulling me back.

Ashton shot me a glare, the muscles of his jaw working, "What the hell is your problem?" He shot out and I pushed his hand away, "Your son is my problem," I answered, edging forward but his hand pressed over my chest, pushing me backward again, not very content with the threat in my tone.

My eyes widened at his action and my hand curled into a fist, "Oh, you people have a death wish today-"

"Hey, hey, you two, stop it!" Alex shot out, glaring at us both, saving his friend before I would go and smash his head against the concrete.

He turned to Katherine, "Go inside and get me my daughter and his daughter before this gets out of control," He said, pointing at us.

I moved past Ashton, my shoulder pushing at his, "I warned your son before," I hissed, unable to digest the image of him having his arms around both of my...My jaw tightened and I stopped the thought from forming in my head. Air pushed in and out of my chest, easy and calm Nikolas, easy and calm, "If he doesn't listen, I will be forced to show him my other face."

Ashton stepped in front of me, again blocking my way, his eyes held mine in a daring challenging gaze, "Dare and come near him, I will be the one-"

"For the love of god, you two just stop this bickering-" Alex interrupted, his hand on Ashton's arm, gently pulling him away, knowing very well this would've ended in blood.

I shot Alex a glare, "Which side are you on?" I shot out. Wasn't he the one who came barging into here in the first place?

His threw his arms in the air, "I don't know," He said, frustrated, "On one side, I don't want your son near my daughter," He said, looking at Katherine and she just rolled her eyes at him, "On the other, I don't want you near Chase," He added, pointing at me and glaring.

My jaw ticked and Ashton nodded, proud, "You heard him," He stressed out.

My eyes fell on Alex, "Seriously? So you choose his side?" I said, my tone accusing, "We're brothers, we share blood, actual blood," I reminded him before I pointed at Ashton, shooting him a disgusted look, "What do you share with this one?"

Ashton gave me a proud look, crossing his arms over his chest, "Believe me, we share much more than your stupid blood."

"Yeah true," Katherine interjected, supporting her husband, "They even kissed once."

"Katherine!" Both Ashton and Alex shot out at the same time, glaring at her.

Wait...what?

Katherine stared at them innocently, "I was just trying to help," She mumbled with a pout.

Alex shook his head and faced us both, "Look, I am used to girls fighting over me," He looked between us in pure horror, "I am not used to this, so stop it," He added, "And you, if you touch Chase, I will kill you," He warned me and I rolled my eyes, "And if you don't control your son," He looked at Ashton, "I will have to deal with him my way."

He looked at Katherine, giving her a knowing look. She just huffed out in annoyance, getting the message as she opened the door and stepped inside to get them. I looked at Alex beside me, shooting him a hard glare, "I can't believe you chose him," I mumbled under my breath and his eyes widened, "Jesus, even Cara doesn't get this much jealous, shut up!"

Katherine walked out of the room, holding a sleeping Maria in her arms. I immediately stepped forward and carefully took my little girl from her. She rested her little head over my shoulder, her arms instinctively going around my neck, still fast asleep. I pressed a tender kiss over her head before I turned to Katherine, questioning, "And Lilly?"

She closed the room's door and pressed her back against it, "She is sleeping, she looks tired," She shrugged, "I am not gonna wake her up."

My jaw ticked and Alex let out an annoyed sigh, "Katherine, don't start," He said and I wanted to revel in his misery after he picked Ashton over me but couldn't when the situation included Lilly. I wanted her away from their son just as much.

"They're just sleeping, Jesus," Katherine said, "Don't be dramatic," She pushed at Alex's arm, "Now, shoo away and be thankful it's my son not that Christian she is with now."

My jaw clenched and Alex turned to Ashton, "Control your wife, please," He said and Ashton shook his head, "My wife is right," He said, stepping to her side. Katherine smiled before she leaned closer toward her husband and wiggled her eyebrows at Alex.

"You deserve this," I mumbled, reminding him again that he chose wrong.

Alex shot me a glare and pushed at my arm, giving up on this, "Get out of here!"

"Did you really kiss him?" I mean...why even?

"I am not gonna hear the end of this now, am I," He grumbled.

"No, you won't," I shot back, offended still at his choice.

*******************

Lilly's POV

Distant noises pulled me out of my deep sleep. A low moan parted my lips as my eyelids glided open, heavy as I tried to make sense of my surroundings and what exactly is happening. Dashed lines blurred until they became a solid image. The light seeping from the ajar door reflected off the person laying at the same pillow right beside me, his nose almost touching my nose and his lips a breath away from mine.

My arm is wrapped around his neck, tightly holding into him just as his arm was anchored around my waist, pulling me closer to his side. For a couple of seconds, I just stared at him, shamelessly taking into every detail over his peaceful face, trying to point out what changed since five years ago.

My hand moved, my palm rested over his cheek, my touch a feather-like, scared I might pull him out of his sleep or disturb him the slightest. I indulged into the moment and my fingers moved over the defined bones of his cheek before they traveled down, running over the light stubble shadowing his strong jaw before they landed right beside the corner of his lips.

My fingers twitched.

I gulped down, remembering how many times I dreamt about this face, always imagining how it grew with the days I was absent in. I remembered how many nights I cried myself to sleep, my nose buried in his sweater, trying to hold into anything that was...him. My heart quivered, hating the memories I was subjecting him into, all the old heartache, and the heartbreak.

I will never deny my mistakes or defend myself; I did wrong, by him, by my family and by myself. But I won't deny that with Christian, that heartache was gone, which is why I clung to him with all of my power.

Since the very beginning, I never knew how to deal with pain, how to face heartbreak, or how to move on. I still don't know how to. And now, it scares me that maybe, I will never learn that part, that I would just spend the rest of my life jumping from one heartbreak into another, running from one pain and sugarcoating it with next.

I moved on from the pain of Chase's absence by clinging to the flicker of attention Christian gave me, and now, I am repeating the same thing, moving in a loop, moving on from Christian's lies by clinging into something familiar, almost like someone who is been tired after a very long adventure and just wants to go home.

Home. True, I am back but I feel like I am not there yet. I haven't reached...home.

I retreated my hand back, breaking the contact. My gaze drifted to his side, checking if they took Maria yet or not. Noticing her absence, I realized I have no other reason to continue my...sleepover.

I tried to be careful as I pulled away from his embrace but even with that, I felt him stir a bit, my gaze flickered to his face and his forehead creased before he tiredly blinked his eyes open, my attempt to escape failing as I pulled him out of his sleep. He moved a bit, his gaze flickering to the side where Maria was sleeping and before he could ask, I answered, "They probably came back," I mumbled, connecting the voices I heard before to them.

He nodded and his arms loosened from around me, giving me the chance to pull myself up. Chase did the same and he turned the lights on as I reached for my phone, checking the time. My eyes couldn't read the numbers and make sense of them, not when the first thing my eyes registered was Christian's name and the message sent by him.

My fingers tightened over the phone, my thumb moved over the screen and tapped it open, hesitant to read what's inside, especially after knowing that he escaped.

'If you don't know it yet, it's Louis, and he is not going to stop at anything to destroy your family. So, be careful, Lilly. Have security around you, don't ever stay alone. He is gathering people, he wants to build an army and he is willing to go into war. I still stand by my point but that doesn't mean I will watch you or your brother or anyone innocent get hurt for mistakes done by your father and uncle.'

'So, warn them, and don't have them underestimate him, he learned from the best.'

I gulped down, reading the words again and again, trying to understand, trying to make sense of Louis's position in this and the reason behind his hate toward my family. The one thing I couldn't grasp was the fact that Christian was filling me in on this. It could be a lie, a trap, but for what reason? He gets nothing from this, so why would he help us?

I didn't understand anything and I read the messages again. The only thing pulling me out of my haze was Chase's hand over my arm, his voice as he called for my name, "Lilly?"

My gaze flickered from the phone's screen to him. His eyebrows pulled closer, trying to understand where I got lost, "What's wrong?" He asked.

My throat bobbed and I turned the phone, showing him, "It's...Christian."

The name alone had the muscles of his jaw working before he took the phone from my hand, his eyes focused on the screen, reading through the message, "Louis is the one who hurt Max?" He checked once again as he kept on reading.

"Yeah," I mumbled, realizing he didn't know that part yet and when he finished reading, he handed me the phone, his eyes falling back on mine, the shade of blue in them was so dark and I didn't understand if it's due to the fact he just woke up or this, "And why is he pulling the good guy act now?" He asked, having the same doubts.

I shook my head, "I have no idea."

My gaze flickered to the phone's screen and I stared at it in utter loss and confusion, the fear pressed tighter over my chest; fear of what they could possibly do next. Louis hurt Max so brutally, with no regard, he placed my brother in a situation between life and death. He could easily do it again. He could hurt my dad, my mom, or anyone for that matter.

My jaw tightened and my fingers twisted the sheets in their grip; that can't happen. Never. If I will have to kill Louis with my own hands, I will.

I felt Chase's fingers rest over my chin, lifting it up and forcing me to meet his gaze. He easily read my distress, "Lilly, don't worry," He shook his head, "He won't be able to get near you," He stressed out and I shook my head; why does everyone think I am worried about them getting near me? To be honest, I want them to get near me. I wish Louis would come for me first. I will know exactly what to do.

"I am worried about Max," I mumbled and Chase nodded, understanding, "We will be careful this time, we had no idea before and that how Max ended up getting hurt, but now everyone is aware that there is a danger waiting," He reasoned with me, "Based on the security I saw around your uncle's house, I bet this time it won't be as easy for Louis or anyone else to do anything."

That is true. Knowing all the underworld business my family is part of now, I can safely say it won't be as easy on Louis or Christian to break through and get to us.

But still, Christian was able to escape...He said it himself; don't underestimate Louis, we can't do that.

"And whether...Christian is lying or not, he is still right, you can't be alone," Chase added, his jaw ticking and his next words felt just as truthful as when he told me to stay away from him, "I won't let anyone hurt you, Lilly."

"It's not your job to protect me-"

"I didn't say it's a job, protecting you is an instinct," he replied back, "I know it was just yesterday that I told you to stay away but this...this is much bigger than you and me and our past."

"Still, I can't drag you into this," I shook my head, "If you end up getting hurt because of me," I said, "That's a guilt I can't carry," I added as I got up to my feet, "So don't worry, I will be fine."

Before he could interject, "I should go now," I said as I headed for the door but his footsteps behind me had me pause.

I turned around and he didn't hesitate, "Don't trust him, Lilly," He said, his eyes drifting the phone in my hand, warning me to be careful and I nodded, "I know that," I was stupid in the past, I might still be stupid, but not as naive as I once was.

I forced on a smile, trying to shake the thought away as I tiptoed, pressing an innocent kiss over his cheek, "Goodnight," I mumbled, backing away, "And thank you for helping me with Maria."

I ended my words there and stepped out, needing to get away and just think through about everything happening. I landed on the ground floor, the light and the noises coming from the living room had me pausing, my eyes falling on uncle Ashton and Katherine. They were simply sitting over the couch with his arm around her, Auntie Katherine had her back resting over his chest, comfortable in his embrace as they watched a movie.

She shifted a bit, making the blanket move. A small smile lifted my lips when my eyes fell on how he pulled the blanket again over her shoulder, making sure she was covered, a small little gesture, yet it made my heart ache. I see my parents and I see them, and I just...I wish for this...something safe and calm but a voice in my head keeps telling me I won't ever have it.

I pulled into a deep breath and walked away, scared to disturb their comfort as I silently snuck out from the back. The light breeze hit my skin and I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked further down the beach, not ready to go inside and sleep just yet.

Reaching the border between the water and the land, I settled down and sat over the sand. I pulled my knees up to my chest and pressed my chin over them as I watched the ocean; it was calm, beautiful and infinite, the vast sea expanding beyond my eyesight. In a split second only, the late night breeze hit the water and the waves crashed, the water reaching my feet and it made me realize, that the ocean could also be angry at times, it could be harsh but still just as magnificent.

"Lilly?" His questioning voice had me turn my head, my eyes lifted up and fell on Nikolas as he came to a stop beside me, his forehead creased, confused at my state, "Are you okay?"

It must be quite the scene; me, all alone, in the middle of the night, sitting by the edge of the sea as if waiting for the water to swallow me whole.

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, I think I am still jet-lagged, I can't mange my sleep schedule yet."

He nodded, his eyes drifting to the water for a second before he looked at me again, "Can I join you?" He asked, a bit hesitant to ask and I immediately nodded, "Yeah, sure."

He settled down by my side, taking a seat on the sand by my right and I kept looking at him, maybe longer than I should. His eyebrows pulled closer, noticing that, "Can I be honest with you?" I asked and he nodded, still so confused at my current state.

"I think...I think the reason that I warmed up to you so fast isn't because I once knew you or loved you as a father when I was a kid," I pointed out, just speaking my thoughts out, "I think it's because I relate to you on some level."

My words only added to his confusion, "Relate to me?" He asked, as if the words are too foreign for him.

I nodded, "Yeah, we both did mistakes and-"

He smiled, as if the thought is so silly, "Lilly, my mistakes and yours, they're galaxies apart."

I shook my head, "No, that's not what I meant," I carried on, trying to make him understand, "I am not talking about the weight of what was done, what I am saying is that in the end, you and me both had hurt those close to us," I explained, "I am not being warm toward you because I forgive you for what you've done," I shook my head, I was just being honest, "It's because I understand you, I get what it feels like to desperately want to change the past but simply you can't."

Lines cut over his forehead, "But Lilly, you shouldn't dwell a lot about what happened," He tried to defend me, "The way you learned about the truth, it wasn't easy, anyone would've been shocked and reacted the way you did."

I shook my head, "No, you don't know," I said, "I chose to believe a man I knew for two years only over the one who raised me and gave me literally everything," I carried on, my throat tightening with the bitter truth, "Do you know that...that for a moment there, I really felt like...like I hate my own father because he killed my boyfriend's father," I scoffed at my own self, "That because of him, Christian couldn't love me, that Christian couldn't accept my baby because of him only," Tears gathered in my eyes, frustration at myself seeped through my words, "Do you get how selfish someone has to be to have such a thought?"

I had that thought. I was that much selfish.

A wide range of emotion flickered in his eyes as he listened to me, every word I said tightened those lines between his eyebrows more, "That's one thing, and what I said to my own mother is another," I added, "She forgave me, and of course she will, she is my mom," I smiled weakly, "No matter what I used to do and how angry she would get, she always had a soft spot for me," I swallowed hard, "But I don't think she will ever forget that her own daughter looked her in the eye and accused her of..." I couldn't say the words now and more tears silently went down my cheeks. The shame coiled my chest as I whispered, "Accused her of...warming two beds at the same time."

My words had his eyes widening the slightest before he looked away from me, unable to meet my gaze after this, "See, I am not the same innocent little girl you once knew," I explained, "So, don't tell me I didn't do wrong, because I did," I added, "Don't tell me my mistakes aren't heavy because they are."

There are a hundred different more mistakes, but I am not gonna sit down and count them now.

He met my eyes again, his jaw tightened and the ache in my expression reflected off his, "This is what I want to talk to you about," I said, wiping the tears from over my cheek, "In your eyes I see the same guilt in mine, and I want you to tell me, does it ever go away?" I asked, helpless, "And if it doesn't...how do you, how do you learn to live with it?"

He rushed a hand over his neck, his eyes going down as he said, "Do you want me to be honest as well?"

I nodded, "Yes."

His jaw tightened, "I might be the wrong person to ask this answer from, but for me," He looked back at my face and shook his head, "The guilt never went away," I bit at the inside of my cheek at his confession and he carried on, "But there are some things that you should know and learn to accept," He said, "That no matter how much you want to go to that past and change it, you just...can't," He added and I just listened, "What happened has been done already, nothing will ever change that fact, and with time, people might forgive you," He shook his head, talking about his own experience, "But, it doesn't mean you deserve that forgiveness, it comes from their kindness maybe or their will to move on, and it reflects their goodness, not yours."

"So, to live with the regret, the only way is to accept what happened, just like they did," He explained, "You need to make your peace with the fact that the part of you who did whatever it is that you did, that part exists, it could be bad, it could be dark, or messed up, but that part of you exists and it always will, it won't just disappear into thin air, but it's up to you only whether to act upon that part or not."

"But this only summarizes my guilt, Lilly, not yours," He added, "Your guilt will go away, you will just need time, you will need to accept and then forgive yourself," He showed me the difference between our situations, "I accepted but I couldn't get to the forgiving myself part, but you...you can."

I shook my head, "I don't want to," I shook my head again, the tears flowing, "Sometimes, I wish...I just wish I can feel that same hurt and pain I made everyone feel, maybe then I can deserve a bit of that forgiveness," I sniffled, "I wish it was me who got stabbed not Max, I...I wish Louis would come for me, I want him to come for me-"

"Lilly, don't say that-" He shot out, interrupting me.

I couldn't stop my tears anymore, "I don't know what to do, I really don't," I mumbled, ever so brokenly, "I am so scared, I don't want anyone to get hurt, I am so scared-"

My tears only increased and I immediately felt his arm come around my back, wrapping me in his embrace. My temple hit his chest and the hug only allowed me to let it out, crying because it's all I can do now, it's the only way to get rid of this ache that has been torturing my heart since the day Christian exposed everything. Since then and up till now, I've been going through the worst period of my life, and every time I try to crawl my way out of it, I just get pulled back.

I felt his hand cradle my head, "I won't let anyone get hurt," He whispered his promise to me, "I promise," I sniffled and edged my head backward, facing him. Sadness cut through his eyes before his hand came to my cheek, wiping my tears away, "But for that, I need you to do what I said, I need you to forgive yourself because it wasn't your fault," He shook his head, "The truth was bound to come out one day, if they didn't trigger it through you, they would've done it anyway."

His thumb gently moved over my cheekbone, "None of us is perfect, Lilly, everyone has their flaws, we all have those thoughts that sometimes are just bad and dark," He addressed what I confessed, trying to pave my way through, "It's okay to have them, because you can't control that part, you can only control what you do with them, and you are doing the right thing now, you acknowledge that what you thought or said or did was wrong, and you want to change that."

I nodded because true, I want to change that, I am working on it already, "But in the process of changing that small part, don't go changing yourself," He said, a warning before a small smile pulled one side of his lips as he tucked my hair behind my ear, "Because everyone loves this Lilly."

I smiled, wiping at my nose, "The bad and the good Lilly?" I asked, my head tilting to the side and he nodded, "She is just perfect the way she is."

My smile widened and it made him relax, a low breath pushing off his chest as he carried on, "Now promise me," His eyebrow raised, "That you won't have those negative thoughts ever again, that you will work on it and with time, you will forgive yourself too," He requested and I nodded, "I will try, I promise," I have to, there is no other way.

He nodded, "And if you ever need anything, you can always come to me," He stressed on it again and I understood that part by now, "Because good or bad, perfect or not," He smiled as he gazed at me, "You will always be my number one girl," He added, "But the Lilly I once knew, even as a kid, she was always very confident about herself, we need that back, okay?"

My gaze drifted down to my lap and I nodded, I needed that back more than anything. I need to get over my current insecurities and clear all of my doubts. I need to feel like me again, it's the only way to move past this personality crisis I am suffering from.

Maybe it's not too late, I can still learn to be a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend and a good person in general.

I wiped at my cheeks, removing all the tears away before I edged backward and got up to my feet. Nikolas did the same and as I gazed at him, I involuntarily smiled, "Thank you," I mumbled and he shook his head, "I didn't do anything."

I nodded, "You did," I said as I edged forward, my arms going around his waist, giving him a small appreciative hug, "You're not gonna try and steal my gun again, are you?" He questioned, his tone serious as his arms wrapped around me.

I chuckled and retreated back, "No, not this time," I said, my eyebrow raising, "But one day later, you will give it to me yourself," I gave him my word, "You will see."

He fought his smile and shook his head as we turned around, each heading toward his place, and this time, he didn't object on it as he mutters, "Who knows, maybe I will."

*****************

Next day...

I tried to balance both of the cereal bowls in one hand as I knocked at his door and waited. Shuffling came from behind the door before Max opened it, squinting at me, one eye open, the other still closed as he ran his hand in his messy hair.

"Morning," I said, all smiling and cheerful as I pushed the bowl into his chest and walked inside his room.

He groaned at my gesture, "Personal space, privacy, look those words up and learn them," He grumbled, turning around to glare at me.

"What?" I said, innocently, bending down to sit on the bed's edge but Max's hand curled over my arm, pulling me up and pushing me toward the balcony, as if hiding something. I narrowed my eyes at him, like dad, he is always up to something.

I sat down on the chair and he took the one across from me, "Why are you in my room again?"

I munched on my cereals, "Do you prefer us to have breakfast with dad and hear him explain his fifty shades of Alex," I commented, wincing at the memory and almost losing my appetite again.

Max winced too, "For the first time in my life, I agree with you," He said before he grabbed a spoonful of the cereals and pushed it into his mouth.

"So, what's up with you?" I asked.

He gave me a weirded out look, "Did you have a drink in the early morning or something?"

I rolled my eyes at his drama, "What?" I asked, "Can't a girl check on her own brother?"

He still looked unsatisfied as he resumed eating, "You are weird."

I waved him off and chewed on my food, "Max," I said and he lifted his eyes up to me, ushering me to carry on and leave already, "Have you ever been in love?"

His eyebrows pulled closer and he placed the bowl on the table positioned between us, "Lilly, what do you want?" He asked, suspiciously.

"Seriously now," I said, "You are the only friend I have here and I am just making a conversation, so come on, humor me," I added, "Have you?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't think so."

"Do you want to?"

He shrugged, "Maybe, I...I don't know," He mumbled, utterly lost at my questions, "I think yeah," He smiled at the thought, "It would be a nice change."

Look at me trying to learn from other people's love life. It's just I think the problem is in my generation, because I look at my friends and they all have failed relationships or are doing stupid things like Conner and Sally for example, but I look at my parents and somehow, despite everything, they have it all figured out. Ugh, I am born in the wrong generation.

Anyways,

"Do you have anyone in mind?" I asked.

He shrugged, as if thinking it through, "Maybe."

I smiled, "Who?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, "I don't really know her name," He mumbled, shaking his head, "But we can call her the future Mrs. Max Dolan," He added.

My smiled widened, "You can be sweet when you want to," The moment I said those words out loud, I got proven wrong as some girl showed up from inside the room, she leaned against the balcony's door, her hair wet, proving she just had a shower, "I was wondering where you disappeared into," She said, smiling at him, and totally ignoring the other human sitting beside him, meaning me.

No wonder he pushed me to the balcony, the little shit won't ever change.

Max flashed her a charming smile, "I'll be there in a minute, babe."

She giggled and walked back inside and my wide eyes fell on him, "Babe?" I mocked him, "Seriously?"

He inched his face closer, whispering, "I just can't remember her name."

I threw my hands up in the air, giving up on him, "What about the whole 'future Mrs. Max Dolan'?" I questioned, staring at him in disbelief.

He shrugged, innocently, "What?" He asked, "No harm in having some fun till I find her."

"Ugh," I groaned, getting up to my feet, ready to leave him with his babe, "Dad ruined you, I swear!"

***********************

When the noon hit, Wyatt dragged me out of my tanning process and forced me to play volleyball with them. I groaned, cursing him for interrupting my me-time but immediately forgave him when I saw that Chase was playing as well.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, fixing myself to look presentable as I joined them. I was wearing shorts and just a sport bra, with nothing more and I would be lying if I say it didn't feel good when I caught Chase check me out for a long second. It was brief, but I sensed his gaze on me.

I bit my lower lip, hiding my smile and we started playing. Midway through, I felt Chase's hand wrap over my arm, grabbing my attention to him, "You take the position in the back," He suggested, well, not exactly suggest.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "Why?"

His jaw tightened, "Well, you keep making us lose," He said and my eyes widened, "What the hell?" I screeched, "What did I do?" I crossed my arms over my chest and he huffed out, mumbling something under his breath.

I resisted the urge to smile, understanding him and my eyebrow raised as I took a step forward, "Am I by any chance diverting your attention form the game?"

And him being a jerk, he bursted my proud bubble and scoffed, "Lilly, don't flirt with me," He pulled me from my hand and placed me behind him, in the back, "And keep your position."

I gaped at him with my mouth wide open, the nerve!

After we decided to take a break, my eyes fell on Chase ahead of me as his hand wrapped over the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and he threw it at one of the lounges, leaving his upper body for me to gape at. Oh, for the love of god, how am I expected to act all mature and not all Lilly-like when Mr. Chase Ryder goes and does this, how?

I was so busy checking him out and drowning in a pool of my drool that I didn't hear them starting the game again and the next thing I felt was something hard hit my head, pushing me backward, the ball's impact had me tripping, my ankle twisting the slightest as I fell down.

"Ahhh," I winced at the pain and I immediately felt two hand over my shoulders, pulling me up. I held my head in my hand, where the ball hit and I winced again, "Ahh, my ankle hurt."

Chase's eyebrows pulled closer, "Lilly, you are holding your head," He pointed out and I nodded, still in a haze, "Yeah, uh, I know, uh they both hurt."

The girl from the other team rushed to my side, "Oh my god, are you okay?"

Chase turned to her, glaring and unable to contain his anger, "Are you blind or something?" He shot out and she stared at us guilty, "Sorry, I uh-" She didn't know what to say because it was my fault, I was busy checking Chase out that I didn't notice and swerve the ball away. Talk about embarrassment.

Gone all the charisma; good job, Lilly, good job.

Chase helped me get up, "Can you walk?" he asked and the second I tried to put my weight over my injured leg, I whimpered and shook my head, holding into his arm for balance. Worry tightened his brow, "Okay, let's go to a near hospital, a doctor should check it out."

I shook my head, "No, no need, I had this happen to me before," I mumbled, putting my weight on one leg only, "I just need to wrap it up, put some ice and it will be okay."

Chase nodded, "I think I have an elastic bandage with me," He said, "Let's go," He added, trying to help take a step forward but I winced again and stopped immediately. I looked up at him and pouted, "I can't walk," I mumbled and pointed at his back, indirectly asked him for what I wanted.

Air pushed out of his chest and he rushed a hand over his face, "Seriously now?"

I nodded, "Yes, I am injured, you can't refuse my request."

He still looked so unsatisfied as he turned around, bending down a bit, "Hop on," He said and I chuckled as I pressed my hands over his shoulders, climbing up as his hands went under my thighs, securing me in place and pulled me up, "Well, I was waiting for you to say that."

"Lilly," He warned and I wrapped my arms around his neck from the back, the fact that his upper body was bare was working on my advantage now, "Okay, okay, no flirting, I get it, sorry," I said, fighting my smile as he headed toward his house.

"Am I heavy?" I asked jokingly, pressing my chin over his shoulder as we walked into his house.

"Yes, very," always a jerk.

I playfully slapped his chest, oh hello mr. muscle, "I am not!"

He paused in his steps and that's when my eyes flickered up to see him mother, "Oh," Auntie Katherine gaped at us, taken aback by our current position before a smile split over her face, "Whatcha ya doin?"

"Mom, don't start," Chase said, utter annoyance flared in his voice and I rested my cheek over his shoulder.

"I twisted my ankle," I pouted, explaining why I was using her son as my piggyback ride. I edged my head forward, burying my face into the heavens of his neck as he took us up the stairs. I was really enjoying this position way more than I should.

"And she isn't light either," Chase grumbled, again teasing me and I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, "Stop saying that or I am suffocating you!" I hissed.

"It's his fault by the way," I screamed from up the stairs, making sure she heard me.

"I didn't do anything!" He shot out, all innocent and confused.

Well, if I wasn't all distracted and drooling over him, this would've not happened. So, technically, it's his fault.

Chase entered his room and without a warning, all I felt was the mattress hit my back as he casually threw me over the bed. I gasped at first before I pressed my elbows over the sheets, pulling my upper body up as I shot him a hard glare, "Such a gentleman!"

He simply ignored me as he went through his thing, probably searching for the bandage. I leaned forward, messaging my feet, wincing at the area that hurt the most. Chase came back to my side, he crouched in front of him, his hand reaching for my injured ankle and I pulled away, "Give me, I will do it," I said, extending my hand.

He ignored me again and gently wrapped his hand over my leg, bringing it closer to him and I pulled away, "Give me I said, I don't want you touching my feet, it's a private part." My words almost had him break the serious expression and laugh, "Don't worry," His eyebrow raised, "I don't have a feet fetish."

His words had the corner of my lip pulling up in a smirk as I leaned forward, "Uhuh, what fetishes do you have then?"

He shook his head, giving up on stopping me from being all Lilly-like as he carefully wrapped the elastic bandage over my ankle, "Also, let's not forget that I've seen more private parts than your ankle," his mocking words had me narrowing my eyes at him, "But that was five years ago, it's different."

He shrugged, "Still," He mumbled and I bit my lower lip, "So, do you...do you still remember that?"

He finished his task and lifted his gaze to me, "That?" He questioned.

"You know what I mean," I explained, "Our...our first time," And most probably our last.

Again, he chose not to answer me, "It's done," he said, addressing my ankle, "Let me take you back to your house," He said, extending his hand and I raised my shoulders, refusing and pointing at his back again.

He hefted out a sigh, annoyed by everything I do and say but still giving up to my wishes as he gave me another piggyback ride to my house. I smiled in satisfaction and wrapped my arms around his neck as he exited his place, "You're spoiled, you know that," He commented and I nodded, "Well, you used to love to spoil me before," I mumbled, and my words for some reason made him turn his head to face me.

The close proximity due to our current position had me sucking into a deep breath, my eyes on his; they were the perfect shade of blue, the one I loved the most. Just like the ocean, soft, beautiful, and infinite. In the same time, they held an edge, an added extra I am the reason behind, the bit of anger, the harshness, were things my actions caused, but still, they were just as magnificent as they were five years ago.

"Why can't you let go of that past, Lilly?" He asked, addressing how many times I bring it up, was it moments, words, or anything that connects us to those two little kids, I keep grasping into it.

"Because our story ended before it even started," I answered; because the yearning for what could've been is more prominent that anything I might be feeling now. Because between us, there are incomplete moments that were left unfinished.

It's like reading a book, reaching the middle and realizing that the left pages are blank. Can you ever forget such a book? Can you let go of it?

"Can you ever let go of a story that didn't have an end?" I voiced my thoughts out loud, "A one that was paused right in the middle?"

I felt his heart pump harder against his chest, exactly where my palm was laying, I felt it accelerate for a mere second before it went back to normal, "Is that what you want from me?" He asked, "An end?"

A small weak smile pulled at my lips and I shook my head, "Do you think there could be a moment where we can really put an end to our story?"

The seriousness of our conversation had him lowering me down, steadying me on my feet as he faced me, "There should be."

My heart did that quivering again reflecting the pain that keeps eating at it, day after day, "Do you know that before, I used to think you are my soulmate," I smiled, addressing my younger self's silly thoughts, "I used to feel that we fit together so well that it had to be bigger than just two teenagers who fell in love," I shook my head, "Back then, I thought that you'd be the only one for me, and I'd be the only one for you, that it wouldn't work any other way."

The lump lodging my throat expanded and my gaze drifted down to the ground, "But now," I shook my head, "Now, it feels like we-"

"Like we don't fit together anymore," He said the words on my behalf and I faced him again, nodding my head as I added, "We are like..." I searched for the word but couldn't find it, "Imperfect for each other," I said with a weak smile, settling for the opposite of perfect.

The same weird feeling surging through my chest, I saw it in his eyes, as we both tried to understood what was happening now, both of us coming to terms with that past, both of us writing the end on that half-told story.

Chase edged forward, his eyes bare for me, reflecting every weakness, every feeling, and his next words both ruined and fixed me in the same manner, "I know that... that we won't end up together, but Lilly, I need you to know that," His broken tone ripped at old wounds, opening them up, especially when I felt his palm rest over my cheek, "That I loved you...so much," His words had me press my eyes shut, leaning into his touch, "That I don't think anyone would ever come close to what you mean to me," He breathed each word and the tears broke free, pushing their way out of my closed eyelids and scrolling down.

I opened my eyes, my vision blurry and he added, "That if I regret something is that-" he shook his head, the red lines stretching over the white of his eyes, fighting back emotions that I knew he wasn't going to let free, I could hear them in them in his voice, that edge, trying to hold into any string of strength and not let the tears free, "It's that I didn't fight enough for us."

My teeth dug into my lower lip, trying to keep myself intact, "But I don't regret any of the moments we shared, they were perfectly imperfect in their own way," I nodded, agreeing and unable to form words at the moment.

"Lilly, I don't know what will happen later or where we'll end up, if we'd even be on the same continent or not," He added, "But one thing won't ever change," A small smile curved his lips, and his thumb caressed my skin as he whispered, "You will always be my little ribbon."

My lower lip trembled again, under the effect of his words and something seemed to die in his eyes as he muttered the next words, "I want you to be okay again," He whispered, "I want you to be happy, and...I hope that you will find someone who will make you happy," I bit the inside of my cheek controlling myself and he seemed to be seeking that same control as his jaw tightened with every fucked up emotion he didn't want to feel, "Who would appreciate your crazy side as much as your sane one," I sniffled and he added, "But just tell him one thing," I saw them, the few tears hiding in his eyes and refusing to spill over, and if possible, they broke my heart even more, "Tell him to never give up on you."

All of his words were like the balm and the salt pressing over my inner wounds and I couldn't hold back my sob, crying as I crashed into his chest, his arms going around me, hugging me much tighter than the day he left five years ago because at this moment, he gave me what I wanted;

He wrote the end, finishing that story and filling the blank pages with the enough heartbreak and pain needed to finally move on.

**************************************

Hey!

Long time no see lol xD

Sorry, I was just having a minor writer's block. Hopefully, I recovered from it!

So, what's your thoughts on the chapter?
On Max? Lilly? Chase?

Any thoughts on what's coming next? Any comments on Lilly and Chase and their messy messy relation?

Also, there is this Turkish song that I love so much, and some of its lyrics fit so well with these crazy kids above. I found its translated version below for those who listen to Turkish songs and would love to check it out.

Especially the part where she says; leave, leave, no, don't, stay.
My heart dies there lol :')

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

See ya in the next book, and hopefully sooner than usual.

Anyways, love y'all!