musical mood: atlantis - seafret

Somehow, with all the stress she was already under, be it her brother, her breakup with George, or typical teenage woes, Cass still managed to keep up with her studies. OWLs were hell, but they were nothing compared to her NEWT exam for Potions, in which she had to brew Veritaserum, a potion even she wasn't an expert on brewing. It wasn't like she had any reason to, in the past.

But, she did a well enough job on it, or so it seemed. Hers didn't smell of lemons, at least - the tell-tale sign of a poorly brewed truth serum. The examiner seemed impressed with her as well, though of course, they were often hard to read. Not that she cared much, not anymore. She had a new plan in motion, a plan that meant she'd never step foot inside Hogwarts again.

Hardly anyone was focused on exams, though, when news came back near the end of term, about what had gone down at the Ministry of Magic between Harry Potter, his friends, and the Death Eaters. Luna had been involved, and had returned back to Naia shaken up, but thankfully alive, and unhurt.

She was lucky, though.

Sirius Black was dead.

Cass openly cried when she read that in the papers, not caring to explain to any of her nearby friends why the death of an alleged fugitive upset her. She'd grown to care for Sirius in the time they had spent living together, he had become like an uncle figure towards her. It would never be the same in Grim Old Place, not without Sirius.

You-Know-Who was back, which she already knew, but to see it in the Prophet, when they had been so adamantly denying what Potter had been claiming just weeks prior...it was sickening. She hoped they gave Potter one big fat apology, and soon. Apparently, Potter was now the Chosen One, whatever that meant. According to Luna, it had something to do with a prophecy, which Padma was sure to know much more about than Cass.

Umbridge was sacked. Dumbledore had returned, and was welcomed back to Hogwarts with open arms and flying colours. Literally. Lee Jordan and Kenneth Towler set off fireworks in honour of his return, and McGonagall didn't even give them detention for it.

But then, Cass had more important things on her mind, as the days at Hogwarts waned, and she found herself crowded on the Hogwarts Express, listening to Naia and Terry once again debate on Quidditch teams, though her mind was fixed on other thoughts. Like how, if her plan was successful, she'd never see her friends again.

She'd been thinking about it for months now, what she would do over the summer, now that she knew Barty was alive. She'd hoped to simply spend it with George, to relax with him and pretend Barty didn't exist, but that was obviously not an option anymore.

So, came option two.

There was a war coming, that was made crystal clear to everyone in wizarding Great Britain, and Cass wanted no part in it. If her brother wasn't another topic, maybe she could handle the war, handle staying and fighting alongside those who chose to, but with Barty involved...she wanted out. And if she couldn't die, she could run away.

She had told Connor not to write back, but she had a gut feeling he would agree to come with. It would be just how she imagined their lives would be when they were children - carefree, happy, even. They'd be far away from anything that could hurt them - hurt him, anyways, Cass didn't find she cared all that much if she got hurt. They'd live in France for the rest of their days, and hopefully, Cass could figure out a way to end her Bond with Barty while there, while away from the upcoming war.

Hiding. It was a coward's thing to do, especially when she was apparently immortal. But she didn't see another option. She hadn't asked for any of this, a Bond with her brother, a war, having to break up with her boyfriend. All she had ever wanted was a nice life, and maybe now she'd get it.

"Cass." A voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she glanced up, to where Henry and Theodore were standing in the doorway, Henry speaking with Theodore slightly behind him. She thought she saw Theodore's eyes lingering on Ana's, if only for a moment, before tearing them away, back to her. "Can we talk to you? Alone?"

"Yes, of course." She ignored the funny looks her friends gave her as she exited the compartment they shared, following the two Nott brothers down the hall and into an empty compartment. Theodore carefully slid the door behind them shut, glancing around as if to make sure they were completely alone.

"What's your plan?" He said after a long pause. Henry shifted uncomfortably, still behind him, as if cowering.

"My plan?" She raised her eyebrows. "What plan?"

"For your brother."

"That's none of your business."

"If you somehow get Ana hurt, Crouch, you will suffer, understood?"

She frowned at his sudden aggression, taking a step back. "Why would I get Ana hurt? She's my friend!"

"Because, Barty said Ana will get hurt if something goes wrong. Henry already betrayed him once," he shot his brother a glare as he talked. "If something goes amiss, Ana might end up at the end of his wand. Just...don't let that happen, okay?"

"I'd never let anything happen to Ana, Theodore. If you must know...I'm leaving. I can't say where. But I'm leaving, so no one will end up hurt. And so I have a chance at a decent life."

"I don't think Barty will like that." Henry spoke for the first time, nervously twiddling his thumbs back and forth.

"I don't see why he wouldn't, actually. I'd be out of his way. It would keep Ana safe, if I'm gone." It would keep George safe. Not that Ana didn't matter to her, of course, she adored Ana more than just about anyone she knew, but George...if something happened to him...well, she imagined that was how Theodore was feeling in this very moment, about the woman he loved being hurt.

"You raise a fair point, Crouch." Theodore nodded.

"Don't call me Crouch."

"Of course." He rolled his eyes, and began to step out of the empty compartment, but when Henry didn't instantly follow, he turned back around, frowning. "Are you coming?"

"I'd like a minute alone with Cass, if that's alright."

Cass blinked, bemused, as Theodore shrugged. "Suit yourself."

This time, when Theodore left, Henry slid the door shut behind him, before looking down slightly to meet Cass's eye. He was only a few inches taller than her, his height nowhere near reaching to that of George or Connor, which added to his gentle aura.

"I heard you and George broke up."

"Yeah like...a month ago."

It felt like yesterday. It still hurt like it was yesterday.

"I haven't had the opportunity to talk to you about it."

She waved a dismissive hand. "I've been busy. OWLs and whatnot, you know how it is."

"I don't know how it is, actually." He shook his head, the corners of his mouth perking up. "I failed almost every one, last year. I doubt I'll pass a single NEWT."

"Sometimes I forget how dumb you are. How are you even in Ravenclaw?"

"Beats me." He shrugged, and she laughed, perhaps the first genuine laugh she'd had in a long while. "I just...wanted to see if you were okay."

"It was for the best." Was all she responded with.

"It'll be okay, yeah?" Henry reached down and grabbed her good hand, squeezing it gently. She was suddenly brought back to the conversation in the library, how right before he'd told her about Barty, he'd confessed his love for her. She wondered if he had meant that, or if it had been a spur of the moment sort of thing. The latter, most likely. Why he would love her of all people was a mystery she didn't want to solve.

"Thank you."

"Of course." He faltered for a moment, simply standing there, holding onto her hand, before he leaned in and pressed his lips against her cheek. Before she could so much as react, they had separated again, and Henry began to walk out of the compartment, his face burning scarlet. "See you...well...whenever you come back, I suppose."

"See you then." She forced a smile, though the sinking feeling in her stomach was hard to ignore.

*

It was dark out, when the train arrived at Kings Cross. Cass had returned to her compartment with her friends, but had kept out of their conversations for the most part, opting to only speak when spoken to.

When they exited, giving each other tight hugs in goodbye, it took everything in her not to cry. These were her friends, who, if her planned work, she'd likely never see again. She'd be off in France with Connor, and they'd be here, to fight in the war. She felt a stab of guilt at that, at leaving her friends to fight these horrible battles, but maybe if the circumstances were different, she'd be able to help.

She doubted that, if she stayed, Barty would allow her to fight on the opposing side of his. He'd force her to hurt and kill those who fought for Potter, those who fought alongside her friends. Maybe even have her harm her friends. No, it was best, running away. Leaving everything behind. If what Barty had said was true about the Bond, where he was unable to see where she was, he'd likely never be able to find her.

"Cassiopeia." Moody greeted her as she hauled her trunk up to him.

"Alastor." She responded with a nod and a soft smile, one she found she didn't have to force.

"How was your time at school?" He raised his eyebrows, though the scars on his face made this action appear rather silly.

"Grand. Er...how is everyone at Grimmauld? Are they okay? Is Lupin okay?" Cass had known the two were perhaps the closest out of everyone in the Order, and personally, she thought they may have had a bit of a thing going on, though she'd never voice her suspicion out loud. She wasn't one to out someone, after all.

He shook his head, sighing at the reference to what had happened to Sirius. "You don't want to know."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Alastor. I know you and Sirius were friends."

He shrugged his shoulders up and down, in a cold, unfeeling motion. "I was an Auror for thirty years. I've lost many people in this life, Cassiopeia. It stops hurting so bad after a while."

Cass didn't believe him for a second, and he didn't seem like he believed himself either.

When the two apparated back to Grimmauld Place, Cass hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly wasn't George Weasley, sitting on the couch, head down and staring at his shoes. When she entered the room, his posture quickly stiffened, as he shot up onto his feet.

"Cassie."

"I'll leave you two alone." Moody swiftly exited the living room before she could say anything - yell at him for not telling her George would be here, mostly.

"What are you doing here?" She breathed, staring down at the ground and avoiding meeting his eye.

"I wanted to talk to you. I've been trying to write in our notebook, but you haven't responded."

"I needed time to myself." She pressed her lips together, thinking about all the buzzing she had heard from that blasted notebook. While she hadn't read a single note he'd sent her, she hadn't the heart to dispose of it entirely, even though she knew doing so would likely be for the best.

"I understand that. I just...I missed you."

"Where's Fred?"

He blinked, clearly hurt that she didn't return the sentiment. Or, at least, didn't do it out loud. Internally, she missed him so much, it was causing her physical pain. She wondered if Barty felt it. She hoped so, hoped he suffered just as much as she was from his actions, and what they had done to her.

"At our shop. We're mostly living there now...but I wanted to talk to you."

"You said that already."

"Cassie...I just don't understand. We were doing so well together."

"I wasn't ready for a relationship. I was too unstable. I am too unstable." She admitted, and this time, she was telling the full, honest truth. Of course, that was only part of the problem. "I knew that deep down, and I think you did too."

He sighed, running a hand through his orange hair. "I want you to be better. I want you to understand that you're safe, that your brother can't hurt you or anyone else ever again."

Oh how wrong he was.

"But I want to help you be better, Cassie. I don't think you're mad, and I'm so bloody sorry I said that. But, I don't believe you, that you don't want to be with me anymore. I could see it on your face, that there was something more, that there was something you aren't telling me."

"I've told you everything you need to know."

"Don't lie to me, please."

She said nothing.

"Cassie, look me in the eye. If you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me anymore, I'll leave you alone forever. I swear it."

"That isn't fair." Her voice cracked, and it felt as though there was a rock lodged in her throat.

"You can't do it, then."

"I can't." She shook her head, tears now freely sliding down her cheeks. She still couldn't bare to look up at George, but by the tone in his voice, it sounded as though he were crying too. "It isn't about me not loving you. I'll love you forever. You know that. That's why I have to do this."

Why she had to let him go.

"I don't understand. If you love me, why are you doing this?"

Cass shook her head once more. "You don't have to understand. I don't expect you to. Just...please respect it."

With one deep, shaky breath, she turned around and sprinted up to her room, locking her door behind her, and surrendering to the fit of sobs that began to consume her.

George didn't chase after her, just as he hadn't that night in the Shrieking Shack. He knew when boundaries were set, he knew not to cross them, and she was beyond thankful for it. She didn't think she could take it, if he tried to come after her, continued to beg for her back. She'd break, soon enough, and she couldn't break.

Not even when it settled in, that her interaction with George just then would likely be her last.

*

Cass had sifted through her bag five times now, repeatedly making sure she had absolutely everything she needed. The distant sounds of voices wafted from downstairs, signalling that not everyone was asleep. Cass would need to maintain an extra amount of stealth to ensure her mission was successful.

It was half eleven when she determined that she had everything needed in her magically extended bag, and began to creep down the stairs, wand in hand, just in case something were to go wrong. In case someone caught her, and tried to stop her.

When she reached the landing floor, and was just about to exit through the front door, a voice from behind the door into the kitchen caught her attention. George's voice.

"-she's lost her mind entirely, Alastor, I'm telling you. She's so convinced her brother is alive...I don't know what to do anymore." He was saying, and Cass could tell by the crack in his tone that he was crying. "I just...I want the old Cassie back. I need the old Cassie back. I reckon I'll be the next one to go mad if she doesn't get better soon."

"I'll send an owl to St. Mungo's first thing tomorrow morning." Moody's gruff voice responded, and she could imagine the look on his face, the look of disappointment. "Thank you for telling me this, Weasley."

"Please make sure she gets the help she needs this time. Clearly whatever they did the first time she was there didn't do shit to help, not in the long run."

She had heard enough. Cass swiftly withdrew her ear from the door, taking a deep, heavy breath as she attempted to calm the pool of nerves that had formed in her stomach. Then, she opened the door, and stepped outside into the cool summer night.

*

Connor had been waiting in pure anticipation at the diner for three hours, twenty nine minutes, and seventeen seconds when Cass entered, holding a brown leather bag in one arm and her other hand in the pocket of her jeans.

She looked like hell.

It was hard for him to imagine her in any worse shape, and he'd seen her only hours before she'd apparently attempted suicide.

Her brown eyes were rimmed red from what was evident crying, her usually neat hair was tangled, and her too-pale skin was splotchy. She'd lost even more weight than she had when he'd last seen her, at the diner on that horrible night, which he had previously thought impossible. She was too fucking thin, and he wanted to shove a massive donut down her throat.

As soon as she caught sight of him, she mustered a smile that failed to meet her eyes, which were weary with melancholy.

"Cass." He stood up and practically dashed towards the door, leaving behind his own bag in the process. Connor stopped just inches away from her, their faces so close to touching, he could practically taste her breath on his.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Hey." She gave him a nod, taking a step backwards.

His heart sunk this time. Fair enough, he figured. He deserved that.

He deserved much more than that, actually. He deserved her to scream at him, to punch him like that redhead had. Why she'd even wrote back to him, offered to be his companion on a runaway, he hadn't the slightest clue. Speaking of the redhead, where was he? George, Connor thought his name was. Where was George?

"I...I missed you." He said after a long moment of silence, biting down on his tongue as he searched her expression for a reaction.

She gave none, her face as cold as stone.

"I missed you too."

Was she lying? He genuinely couldn't tell.

"So, what exactly is the plan?"

This time, the corners of her lips curled up ever so slightly, and he practically melted on the spot. Merlin, she was lovely, when she wasn't all mopey and scary. "Well, first, we find a taxi to take us across the Channel."

"So, France. I assumed as much." He'd actually bought an English to French dictionary the day he'd received her letter, and had been attempting (and failing) at learning the language. Oh well, at least he'd have Cass to navigate them through the foreign country.

"Oui."

"Well, then what? What's the plan in France?"

"We're going to track down my grandparents."