I could write an entire separate book about the conversations I have had with Lauren when she is wearing her earphones (or head phones, whatever you want to call them)  and listening to music. But I don't want to. Sounds like work.

To be honest though these don't really belong in this book. I mean we all hear things wrong when we have earphones and are listening to music. Then again, she's Lauren.

Conversation #1

We were in the car and she was in the passenger seat with her earphones listening to music and taking selfies. I was driving and thought I smelled something burning coming from the dashboard.

Me- I think I smell something burning.

Lauren- I know. It looks pretty right?

Me- What? I said something smells like it's burning!

Lauren- Oh, no, I ironed my hair but it didn't burn.

Me- Not you, the car!

Lauren- How can I iron my hair in the car? 

Me- No, something in the car smells like it's burning!

Lauren- (smells her own hair) Hmmm...maybe it is my hair.

Me- Forget it.

Conversation # 2

Different day. Still in the car. Still taking selfies.

Me- Want to go get an ice cream cone?

Lauren- Use your own phone.

Me- I said let's get an ice cream cone. Just don't tell your mom.

Lauren- Why can't I tell mom you want to use my phone? Who do you need to call?  I don't want you calling any hoes from my phone! Use your own phone!

Me- Forget it.

Conversation # 3

Lauren is sitting on the sofa watching T.V. and I am reading a book. She is also listening to music on her headphones. Her eyes are watering. (Sad movie)

Me- Why you crying?

Lauren- I'm not crying.

Me- They are watering,  your eyes.

Lauren- I don't have any Hot Fries. You didn't want to buy me any yesterday. Why don't you go get some right now?

Me- Why don't you read  a book instead of watching that a crap? And I did get you some Hot Fries.

Lauren- Okay. Bring me 2 bags so I can take one two school tomorrow.

Me- I'm not going anywhere. They are in the pantry.

Lauren- No. Not the fancy ones. Just the regular ones. Wait, they make fancy ones? How are they fancy?

Me- Forget it.

Lauren- Okay. Bring 2.