I dreaded Thursdays with Jake. The first two weeks were stifling and painful. The little conversation we had was forced. I kept getting the I'm-sorry-you're-on-a-blind-date-from-hell looks from our waitress. The tension settled in my stomach and made me pick at my food, making both evenings entirely useless in all regards.

The Wednesday before our third dinner, I called. I expected the leave a voicemail. Given our disconnect, why would he answer?

"Hey, Nif, everything ok?" There was genuine concern in his voice.

I realized this was the first time I had called Jake Miller in over two years, and it was to cancel plans.

"Yeah, everything is great. Getting ready to head home for the 4th. I wanted to check if we were still on for tomorrow."

"Of course, why wouldn't we?"

"I just didn't know if you had plans for the holiday that you needed to get ready for."

"No, I stay in the city; the smell of garbage juice soothes me."

"Oh, ok. Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you then." And he hung up.

For a moment, the silence lingered in my ear as again the sheer ineffectiveness of me in even virtual proximity of Jake set in. I sighed, threw my phone down, and continued to pack.

"Hey," there was a surprising eagerness to Jake's voice as he popped up from the table in a crowded restaurant to greet me the following evening.

"Hey," I said with more than a bit of confusion in my voice.

Jake pulled me into a hug. This was markedly different from all our other meals. Then he pushed away softly and pulled my chair out for me.

"What's going on?" I asked as I settled in.

"You wanted to cancel yesterday; that's why you called." It wasn't a question, it was an observation, and as he spoke, he brushed his hair out of his face, so his eyes were unshielded.

"True," I admitted.

"Why?"

"Jake, these dinners have sucked. We barely talk, and then I get all nervous and can't eat."

"So, you do eat! I thought you might have turned into one of those girls that refuse to eat around guys or worse, at all." He shook his head to himself.

"Oh, I eat; you know I eat. I mostly eat like a twelve-year-old boy, but that's partly because I'm poor, and this city is so damn expensive. All I can afford is ramen and dollar slices."

Jake let out a laugh at my rant.

"Seriously, I can't even afford a hot dog. They sell them for like $8; eight fucking dollars. What are they putting gold in the mustard?"

He laughed again, "I think the mustard is extra."

"Of course it is. Seriously, I am not sure what you see in this place."

"Oh, not this again. You have to admit; the city has energy. It's alive. And, you can get that hot dog at 7 am if you wanted.

"I disagree. Trees are alive, and birds are alive; concrete is not alive. And who wants a hot dog at 7 am?"

"You do," he teased.

I sighed, he was right, and he knew it. "I still like the lake better."

He scowled at me and sat back hard in his chair.

"Why do you hate the lake so much?"

"I don't hate the lake, Nif. It's just not the perfect place you always make it out to be. It's dusty and boring, and everything is covered in pitch. I hate pitch."

"I'm going home for the weekend, for the 4th. You should come with me. My mom would love to see you."

"Nice shift; I tell you everything I hate about a place, and then you tell me I should go there."

"It's been a long time; don't you miss it?"

"No," it was another closed answer.

I changed the topic quickly, and Jake responded well. It was the first time in years that I felt like I was with him, chatting, laughing, teasing. It felt good, and the night flew by with none of the usual tension. I was left with a lingering warmth as we parted ways.

I allowed myself one glance at my phone as I ate my lunch at my desk the next day. I had resigned myself to working through lunch so I could try to leave a bit early to get a headstart home that night.

"Hey, what time are you headed north?" Jake's words splashed across the screen.

"As soon as I get home!" I had packed my car the night before.

"You mind some company?"

I stared at the screen in shock. Jake wanted to go home.

"Never." I immediately texted him my address.

"See you tonight. Can you let your mom know I'm coming?"

"Of course."

I called my mom quickly, and an actual squeal left her lips. "I didn't even know you two were in touch. Oh, I will make his favorite lasagna and chocolate cake. I have to go to the store. He can stay in the basement. I need to put sheets on the pull-out." My mom was in a babble spiral.

"Mom, I have to go, or I will never get out of work. I'll see you tonight." I smiled at how pleased she was that Jake was coming home.

I sent him a quick text to let him know my mom was excited and to bring his appetite but tucked my phone away before waiting for a response. I needed to work so I could leave early.

As I approached my building, Jake was there. He sat on my stoop, looking up at the sky in a grey suit. Jake Miller was an adult and wearing a suit. All I could think was, when the fuck did that happen?

"Hey, you," I said as I approached, "nice suit."

"Mmhmm, and this dress is a bit different than your usual cutoffs and t-shirt. The world spins, Nif; people change." The comment had a bite, but he carried it with a tease that softened the reality.

"Nothing changes at the lake. You want to change out of that before you get all pitchy?"

"Yes, please."

He followed me up to my 3rd-floor apartment, which I shared with three other girls. No one was home yet, though. I directed him to the bathroom to change while I changed in my room. As I tugged on my cut-offs and t-shirt, I let out a small laugh at his accuracy.

"I'm driving," he shot as I returned to the living room.

"It's my car; I'm driving." I was arguing for arguing sake; I didn't even want to drive.

"You are a terrible driver," he contended.

"I am not. How dare you!"

"Nifer, you don't even like to drive."

He had me; he knew I was just arguing. "Fine, but that means you are also paying all the tolls and gas."

"Wait, I'm doing all the work and footing all the bills?"

I shot him a look.

"Whatever," he slung an arm around me as we headed out the door.

"Are you nervous?" I asked as we settled into the drive.

"Yeah, a little," he admitted.

His honesty drew me closer to him. I huddled into his side as his arm fell gently around my shoulders.

"My mom is making up the basement pullout; we could have a movie night like we use to," I offered.

"Yeah, what movies are you thinking?"

"What movies are you thinking?" I tossed it back to him.

"You know, I haven't watched The Goonies in a while."

"We could have an adventure night! Goonies and Princess Bride, a double feature!" An excitement bloomed in me like we were little kids planning our summer vacation.

"Sounds good, Nif."

We drove in comfortable silence for most of the 2-hour drive, only stopping once to pick up Twizzlers and Cherry Coke for our movie night.