I distanced myself

from everything

and everyone

before I could matter to anyone

I thought

I was respecting their innocence

their souls

foreign to any darkness at all

but when

me

out of all people

loved

and loved

until

it hurt

and I finally released control

and broke

I realized

I was the biggest hypocrite of all

because it wasn't them

I was trying to protect

it had always been about protecting myself

and my innocence

so nobody could ever matter to me

-E