"All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once. Am I right? I know I am. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day and it drove you as crazy as everybody else. Only you won't admit it. You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there is some point to all this struggling. God, you make me want to puke!"

-The Joker, Batman: The Killing Joke

This wasn't supposed to happen. 

All I want is to have a fun, relaxing day with my soon-to-be adopted daughter and my adopted son at the beach with their multiple moms.

It was supposed to be my day off where none of them lusted for me, and were rational for once.

But... THEY had to ruin EVERYTHING.

Ruin everything that he oh so desperately needed.

If it isn't the girls, the boys, the teachers, the pro heroes or that fucking stalker rat thing... Then count on the villains to ruin his goddamn day! 

"Ninth, don't do it. Do not give in to your anger."

"ZuZu, calm down and think about this. Look, I'll let you rest on my thighs after you deal with the League of Villains. How about that?"

Excuse me?

"Hey, Izubaby! Do you want to have hot, raw sex with me after this?"

Fuck you, you crazy bitch!

"I heard you fucked my mom and  sister, Midoriya. For that, I will never forgive you."

NO, I DID NOT!

"If I can't kill All Might. Then I can kill his son instead!"

You're fucking dead.

Then everything turned black.

Two Years Ago
Musutafu, Japan 21XX

Four score and seven years ago- Shit. Um. Fourteen years ago, I was just a quirkless skinny kid, desperately wanting to be a hero. Like my idol, All Might, the Symbol of Peace. My childhood consisted of constant beatings, bullying, and humiliation from my classmates and teachers. My childhood friend, Katsuki Bakugou, was the source of it all. Throughout kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school. It was the same shit, different day.

I eat, I breathe, I duck and weave, run, game, and repeat all of it the very next day. While it was a toxic and highly stressful routine, it helped me develop and improve my cardio, endurance and reaction time. That was the only benefit I got out of that. But all of that ended when I changed drastically.

For better or worse

It was at the halfmark towards the end of the school year. My middle teacher announced that the end is nigh. And that we are approaching the time where we get to go choose our own high school. If you had known me back then, I died a bit on the inside and cringed at the thought of everyone knowing where I'm going to after school ends. Bakugou, the B-rated shounen rival character that he is, inflates his big ass ego and announced that he is going to UA high school. In return, I slap my forehead with full force and sighed deeply.

I am tired of hearing this man's voice, Jesus Christ. Can someone punch him in the gullet, please?

Naturally, my teacher, the fucking twat that he is. Thinks that it is a good idea to mention where I'm going. Me. Izuku Midoriya. A skinny, socially awkward, anxious, jumpy, paranoid, and introverted 14 year old who looks  like he's about to bust a dance move in the middle of class. Unfortunately, the teacher announced my intention of going to UA. Sending everyone into a laughing fit. Bakugou, naturally, got mad at me and used his quirk to intimidate me. Which I promptly acted scared for his own amusement.

After class, the blonde NPC and his NPC friends came to "teach me a lesson" about what happens if I "got into his way". He also said things that isnt accepted in today's society like jumping off roofs and stuff, but I didn't care about that. Let's just say I ended up running like Ingenium and ran away as fast as I can from school. Tired, and out of breath. I took the shortcut through a dark and totally not suspicious looking tunnel to go back home.

Unfortunately, my luck is shit (proven by making me quirkless) and the villain that All Might is trying to catch that day just so happens to be hiding in the shadows of the dark tunnel. Oh, boy, that was probably one of the most scariest moments of my life.

When that slimy fuck told me I was a suitable skin suit for him. My mind went total overdrive and weaved to the right. The Slime fucker was confused for a second before striking again with his amoeba looking tendril. I weaved to the left, looking at him bug eyed.

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE A VICTIM OF SOMEONE'S FREAKY FETISH!" I screamed, as I dodged two more jabbing tendrils.

Unlucky for me, he used an underhanded tactic and wrapped his tendril around my leg.

'Son of a bitch!' I thought as I tried to pry my leg off from the slime.

"Hehehe. Soon, I'll be able to do whatever I want. With this body, I'm going to take over the underground world! And also get laid by a lot of hot and pretty women!" He cackled creepily as his eyes shifted closer to the tendril wrapping around me.

Not wanting to end up as someone's doujin, I stomped the slime's right eye. The only solid part of the freak's body. And felt the tendril let go of my leg. Making me stumble and fall on my ass.

The Slime, now Sludge(?) Man, cried in pain and growled as he looked at me using his left eye with burning hatred. Now he was very pissed off.

"You fucking jit! Now you're getting it!" The Sludge Man howled as he turned himself into a giant amoeba, trying to absorb me into his mass.

Before that could happen, a very obvious hulking figure came out of a manhole nearby. He ran at the speed of sound and appeared behind the Sludge Man before annihilating him with a jab that let out a ton of air pressure. Miraculously, none of the disgusting substance hit me for some reason, ignoring the fact that I wasn't blown away from the air pressure alone.

"Woah! I didn't see you there, young man! How were you able to withstand all that air pressure?" The obvious hulking figure revealed himself as All Might.

I shrugged. Completely forgetting that I was talking to All Might. Until I remembered that I AM talking to All Might.

"Holy- All Might, is that really you?!"

The giant blonde hero bellows a laugh.

"Indeed! It is I, All Might! The one and only! Say, young man. You can dodge pretty well! Are you some kind of punch out artist that I never heard about? Come on, no need to be so shy!"

My breath hitched and my heart started beating faster. The truth behind it is very pathetic and wimpy. What the fuck do I say in this situation?

So I came up with extra bullshit.

"Oh, um, I haven't really done much in terms of being a punch out artist. But I created my own style just solely on dodging and parrying attacks so that I don't get in trouble with the law. Nothing much, really."

All Might seems to be interested and took the bait immediately. His toothy smile grew ever so wider.

"That's mighty impressive, young man! Skills like that are needed in the hero world! So, how about we clean up the mess I made, yeah?" All Might asked as he pulled out a pair of empty 4 liter bottles of soda.

I couldn't say no to that. After all, my idol just said that I can be a hero! Technically...

After cleaning up the mess, All Might signed my notebook containing information about pro heroes, their quirk, and their debut date.

All Might waved at me farewell, but then my dumbass self tried to grab his attention by grabbing his shirt. Only for me to grab his leg as he launches off to the heavens. Not knowing that the two bottles containing the criminal fell out of his two butt pockets somewhere in the city. Definitely didn't land next to my soon-to-be stereotypical anime rival >;D.

After bawling my eyes out of pure fear, me and All Might landed in a roof of an apartment building. I asked him if what he really said was true.

True about being hero material.

This time, though, I had to tell him about it. I admitted that I was quirkless and asked him again if I can be a hero by getting to UA. He looked at me and considered it for a moment. Then, he said something that shocked me:

"If you lie about having a reflex quirk, maybe you can get into UA and pass, yeah?" All Might said with a cheeky grin.

Wow. I never knew All Might is a sly fucking dog. Until he spat blood and a cloud of steam surrounded him. Then, in All Might's place, is a skinny ass motherfucker that starved himself for three months because someone told him he was fat.

Disgusted, confused, and frightened, I screamed like a little bitch and accused the imposter. The skinny skeleton assured me that he is still All Might. Told him that he was capping hard. Then proceeded to "inflate" one more time before returning back to his decrepit state. He explained to me that his body has been degrading ever since his fight with Toxic Chainsaw (kinda SUSpect), and the wound in his right lung has affected his hero career and made it difficult for him to stay as All Might. Revealing that he can only be in his hero form for an hour max.

Before I could say anything, an explosion rang three blocks from my location. All Might wondered what is happening before checking his pockets. The Sludge bottles weren't there. He cursed and said that the bottles fell while he was flying away and I, hanging on for dear life. We both cursed and ran towards the commotion.

When we got there, it became a stereotypical setting in a superhero movie real quick. Huge crowds, reporters, fire, heroes acting like game NPCs, and the villain at the center of it all. Looking closer, the Sludge Man caught someone and turned them into their latest "skin suit".

Whatever that shit is.

The skin suit then let out an explosive blast using the palm of his hand. I instantly knew who it was and I gritted my teeth in anger.

"Shit. I wish I can save him right now. But I am out of time." I heard All Might mutter shamefully.

Then the four heroes that were present. Death Arms, Kamui Woods, Back Draft, and Mt. Lady, the hero that debuted today, were stuck in a sticky situation.

One can't help because the unpredictability of her quirk.

One was busy doing damage control.

And two can't do anything about it because of their weakness.

But why aren't they doing anything? They shouldn't be standing there while a man needs help. They should be doing something! Anything! What's the point of "Go Beyond Plus Ultra" when nobody dares to go that far?

To hell with this bullshit system!

My feet moved on its own. My eyes locked onto my target.

And everything went dark.

...

Instantly, my vision was restored. And I find myself standing in front of Kamui Woods, Mt. Lady, Back Draft and Death Arms looking at me with different levels of disappointment and anger. Death Arms being the one with the most angriest face.

"Did you know what you got yourself into, kid?" He asked with a low growl.

"Well, I saw my friend was being possessed by a freaky sludge villain and was about to die by suffocation. When nobody did anything to help, I kind of blacked out and now I don't know what happened to him."

It took me a second to realize what just happened and I began to freak the fuck out.

"Oh shit! W-What the hell happened? Is it over?!" I stuttered as I realize what is actually happening.

The four was shocked and amused as they all looked at each other before looking at me.

"Fuck. Now you made this difficult for me. I can't really fault you for the actions that you did today because none of it was really made through rational thought. Rather, it was your body instinctively reacting to the high blood pressure and stress." Death Arms explained. Shocking his colleagues with his thought process.

"What?" He asked as he saw his fellow hero's stunned faces.

"I had interns back in my agency that had these sorts of problems where they black out in the middle of the fight and do some crazy shit. In this case, that's what..."

"Midoriya."

"That's what Midoriya did in this case. Blacked out and did crazy shit, which it's really not his fault."

Death Arms grinned.

"By the way, are you some kind of punch out artist? For someone who blacked out, you pulled some kickass moves."

Mt. Lady nodded with a goofy ass grin on her face.

"Yeah! You went so fast that the villain got confused  just for you to pull out your friend and All Might to come save you! Oh! Oh! Can you teach me how to dodge like that, too?!"

I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. Like, this was the first time a woman, a pretty one, talked to me in a while. Well, ever since I was in kindergarten but that's beside the point.

"Oh, thanks... Um, about that... I may or may not have made that dodging a style to dodge and parry attacks since I'm, uh, quirkless. So, you could pretty much say that I am an expert at that department."

Shit. I didn't answer the question.

"Is that a yes I hear?!"

"Holy- Mt. Lady, calm down. Don't put pressure on him like that. He's had a rough day for Christ's sake."

Kamui Woods turned to me. I don't know what he's feeling because of his wooden mask. But I think he's smiling. Yeah, he's smiling.

"Kid, as much as I want to admit. I kinda envy you right now. Having a good enough reaction time to dodge attacks while making it look cool sounds good to us. To be honest, I could use some that dodging skills as well. Could use a break from using my quirk to protect myself against every fight."

Woah. That came out of fucking nowhere.

"You're goddamn right." Death Arms added.

"I could use a mix of dodging in my fights with villains. That way, I don't have to pay as much hospital bills as I am now." He said, chuckling.

"Wha- Oh, haha. Thank you. Really." I said, now really embarrassed at the compliments.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The pro heroes bid me farewell and I went on my way. Not realizing that my world would be turned upside down in so many different ways:

First, it all started when I was coming home from the incident Sludge villain incident. Running into Bakugou and permanently established himself as a tsundere bitch. Then walked home like nothing ever happened. THEN. All Might came out of nowhere, out of the trees, which would trigger immediate flashbacks for some people. And proceeded to laugh as I screamed like a little bitch.

Asking what he is doing in this side of town. He said that he ended up here while trying to get away from the bloodthirsty and merciless creatures called reporters. By the time he got lost for the fifth time, he saw me talking to Bakugou. Well, Bakugou talking to me technically. It was a one sided conversation.

Anyways, All Might praised me for being heroic in the time of need. Stepping up to take charge when nobody would. He said that all great heroes started out when their bodies moved on their own to save lives. He then cemented my worthiness, told me that I was truly worthy of becoming a hero. I almost cried. Until that airhead told me that I can inherit his power...

What?

"Yes, young Midoriya! You are worthy to become the next number one!"

And that is where the bullshit started.

The first thing I came home to was my lovely mom (Love you, mom) crying as she pointed at the TV broadcasting the news. Specifically the news about the Sludge villain. It first showed a footage of me ducking and weaving from Bakugou's explosion and the villains tendril. Then me unleashing a flurry of blows that hit the villain right in the eyes, stunning him before pulling Bakugou out of the Sludge villain. All of it was overshadowed by All Might jumping in and saving the day by blowing him away using his two huge guns. The punch was strong enough to change the air pressure around the area, effectively putting out the raging fires caused by the explosions.

The news anchor then briefly mentioned me and how I was an amateur punch out artist and that my dodging impressed the pro heroes that was at the scene of the fight. They praised me, saying how he was cool and calm. Explicitly leaving out the details about how all of the moves shown was a result of my black out. Then, they talked about how Bakugou was a little shit for recklessly using his quirk that resulted in extensive property damage.

Damn it. That's going to paint a huge fucking target on his back now!

Dinner was normal, except for the fact that my mom kept on asking how I am doing every ten seconds.

The next day, I arrived at Dagobah Beach to start my "Extreme Hardcore Muscle Training™!"

"Really? A junk yard? Why even do it here instead of a high class gym?"

"Because this is the best place to start your hero career!"

I jumped and screamed like a little bitch. Again.

"All Might!? Where the hell did you come from?!"

"I was in one of the heap of garbage until I stumbled upon a Limited Edition All Might Bobblehead!" He pulled out a rusty bobblehead of himself in his Silver Age costume.

"At least I can try to restore this bobblehead to kill some time in the afternoon." He muttered.

Oh geez. Look at him stroking his massive ego in front of me! Hey, hey you! Get your mind out of whatever goddamn hole it is in! Fucking degenerate.

"Okay, young man! For today's exercise, you will be doing-"

5 hours later...

"COME ON, YOUNG MIDORIYA! Believe in yourself! Imagine me cheering you on from the sidelines! Go, Midoriya! Go-"

"Oh my fucking- Can you stop repeating that goddamn line?! You're not helping at all!"

All Might withered for a moment before taking a picture of my angry looking face. I let go of the ropes that was attached to the fridge where All Might sat and looked at him with murderous intent.

"Why are you so goddamn heavy for a dying man?!"

All Might laughs it off and snaps another picture of me.

"Just to let you know. I lost 20 pounds so you're welcome. And you're also skinny as fuck so that may explain why you can't do shit."

Fuck! He's right!

"Don't worry. Too easy. I'll just have to make a man out of you using these very strict regiment to whip you up to shape. Now! Get to it!"

The following weeks was torture, to say the least. Everything hurt. Everything was sore. It didn't help that All Might encouraged me to do some punch out sessions in Musutafu to sharpen my dodge moves. I was being kicked to the curb for fuck's sake.

But hey, there's money to be made, so it did me more good than harm. As time went on, it became easier and easier for me until that lifechanging day happened.

For you see, not only did my muscles ache and sore. But so did my bones throughout my skeletal system! I was bedridden for at least three days. Three. And when it ended. It put a curse on me that festered over time.

I became tall!

That very next day, I woke up and went to the bathroom. Only for me to hit my head on the door frame. Everything was smaller to me now as well. I didn't realize what happened to me until I couldn't see myself in the mirror. So I had to duck down and look at myself in the mirror. That's when it hit me.

"I GREW OVER A FEET TALL?!?"

And for the first time since 6th grade. I fainted on the spot.

(A/N): Yeah, Sassy Midoriya is back with vengeance and is out for blood.

This went better than I expected. The recap was good, I think. Lemme know how you feel about the prologue. And also, have a great day/night!