Quackity makes his way from the parking lot to the police department entrance, walking along the sidewalk with his hands shoved in his pockets and his arms held close to himself. Something catches his eye as he walks past the building. He stops in front of the usually pristine sign, now covered in spray painted marks and letters, the two big ones being "T" and "R". Quackity sighs and continues into the department. It was a common occurrence, every few weeks some kids would come along and vandalize the sign or the side of the wall, occasionally even a window. A few times, officers had attempted to catch and stop kids, but one of them was absurdly tall and fast, and would help the smaller one escape.
And their identities were never discovered, so everyone gave up and just started brushing it off. Or so Quackity had heard. As many times as he had seen the vandalism, he'd never seen the kids, and he never bothered to investigate further. He walks through the halls of the department, making his way towards his office. He passes plenty of his coworkers, some of which say hi, most of which are already preoccupied with their own conversations. As much as he ignores them, he can't help but notice that Wilbur is nowhere to be seen.
"Must be late," He thinks. It certainly wouldn't be out of character for him. He approaches his office, the frosted window on his door covered by a bold "DO NOT DISTURB" sign that he always had up. He takes out his key to unlock the door, but when he grabs the doorknob, he realizes it's already been unlocked. Confused and concerned, he gently pushes the door open to see Wilbur spinning around in his desk chair, messing with a pencil. Instantly he feels rage well inside him.
"DETECTIVE SOOT!" He shouts, causing Wilbur to jump and drop the pencil on the ground. Wilbur grins upon seeing Quackity.
"Big Q!" He says excitedly as he reaches for the dropped pencil.
"How the hell did you get in my office?!" Quackity closes the door and locks it as Wilbur stands up and approaches him.
"Well since we're officially partners now, I asked Eret for a spare." Wilbur takes a keychain out of his coat pocket and shows it off to Quackity with a smile. Quackity glares at him for a few seconds.
"Oh, you did?" Quackity asks through gritted teeth. "And they just gave it to you?"
"Yep! She said, and I quote, 'he could use some company'." Wilbur lowers his voice to mimic Eret's voice.
"And I bet you touched all my shit as well, didn't you?" Quackity moves towards his desk and makes sure everything is still organized like he had it before.
"Most of it!" Wilbur follows, standing at the other side of the desk and leaning against it.
"Great." Quackity states sarcastically. It seems like most of his stuff is still in place, other than a few small things that are uneven or have been misplaced. He goes through each of the desk drawers to ensure everything is there. Once he's done, he looks back up to see Wilbur leaning over the desk with his chin in his hands. Quackity sits down in his chair and leans back. "Look, I know you have absolutely no sense of boundaries, but this is MY office with MY things and I would really appreciate it if you stayed out of my stuff." Quackity's tone comes out strained and harsh.
"Could you ask a little nicer?"
"I am asking as nicely as I can." Quackity shows a strained smile, he's clearly very stiff and upset. Wilbur stands up and looks around.
"Do you have another chair?"
"No, because this is my office, and no one else has ever come in here. I've never had a need for another chair." Quackity replies, emphasizing that no one else has ever been there.
"Wow, Eret was right." Wilbur chuckles a bit as he sits down on the carpet.
"I did perfectly fine on my own thank you very much." Quackity crosses his arms.
"I wanted to ask you something."
"Oh god."
"Did you see the sign outside?"
"The sign?" Quackity raises an eyebrow. "What about it?"
"It's all vandalized!"
"Oh! Yeah, that happens all the time."
"It does?!" Wilbur stands up, appalled. "Shouldn't the culprits be arrested?"
"We've tried plenty of times but they always get away. They're just a couple of kids and they don't cause any real harm so we just deal with it. We call them the True Crime Kids around the station."
"Why?" Quackity shrugs.
"No particular reason, just have reason to believe that they're into true crime. And it's catchy." Quackity takes a few papers off of the desk and begins looking through them. Wilbur looks away and puts his hand to his chin.
"Sounds like a challenge."
"Huh? Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"I like a challenge," Wilbur grins. Quackity looks up at him, unamused. "I'm gonna catch them."
"It won't be worth it."
"It's a personal goal now, Quackity. You wouldn't understand." Wilbur walks over to the door, though he doesn't leave the room. Quackity sighs and puts the papers down.
"I'm telling you now it's just some teens. They're not gonna stop even if you do catch them. We have more important things to focus on, this isn't worth it." As Quackity talks, Wilbur uses his hand like a puppet mouth to mock him.
"All I'm hearing is how great and cool I am."
"You're just as annoying as ever." Quackity mumbles.
"What's that? You think I'm handsome? Well thank you Q, you too!" Quackity turns a bright red as Wilbur opens the door and leaves the room, humming to himself as he does. Quackity groans in annoyance and stands to follow him.

-

Tubbo waits at the bus stop bench, scrolling through his phone with his hood over his head. It was a cool day, not cold but definitely not hot, with just a slight breeze. He'd texted Ranboo not too long ago, but as per usual he was late to their meeting spot. The two kids had been close friends for a while now, around 7-8 months, and they'd built a routine for themselves. Neither of them had to attend school (unlike Tubbo's best friend Tommy) so they hung out often on weekdays to keep themselves entertained.
Usually they'd hang out at the park and play games, watch true crime, or just walk around, even a couple of times going on short picnics near the lake. They'd both taken a liking to a few of the ducks that flew around there. However, their favorite hobby of all times was pranks. Harmless pranks, just messing around with the public of Las Nevadas. But the two had become notorious for tagging the police department with various brightly colored spray paints, or so they like to think. They did it every couple of weeks, sometimes even twice a week, and everytime the next day it was gone, so surely someone was mildly annoyed by it.
Tubbo groans and slumps back into the bench, he'd been waiting for quite a while now and he was getting tired. He pulled up Ranboo's contact and rushed to text him. He wasn't exactly paying attention to what he was typing and ended up making a fatal error, typing "BISIO S MAN" instead of "BOSS MAN". Ranboo's only reply was "ah yes, bisio s man". Tubbo laughs to himself.
"Asshole." He whispers jokingly.
"Who is?" Ranboo's voice makes Tubbo jump and almost drop his phone. Tubbo looks up at him and catches his breath. The two both laugh. Ranboo was wearing sunglasses and a black and white mask, as he usually did to keep his face hidden when in public. It might've seemed weird to some, but he preferred it that way.
Fortunately, he was close enough with Tubbo that he felt comfortable showing his face to him. When they weren't in public, of course. Ranboo sits down on the bench next to Tubbo as Tubbo puts his phone into his hoodie pocket.
"Took you long enough to get here!" Tubbo teases, nudging his very tall friend with his elbow. Even sitting down they had quite the height difference.
"Sorry about that! Got caught up with something."
"All good Boss Man." Tubbo takes a black mask out of his seemingly infinite hoodie pocket. He puts it over the bottom half of his face and looks over at Ranboo with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You ready?"
"YEAAH!!" Ranboo excitedly stands and Tubbo follows, both of them cheering loudly as they take off down the street. A passerby watches them go with a confused look.

-

The two spent most of the day walking around the city aimlessly, occasionally pranking people or sitting down to rest and take a snack break. They were having a great time, and decided it might be fun to revisit the police department for a little extra bit of malicious mischief. On their way there, they pass by the city jail, only because it was on route (and considerably nearby) to the police department. Tubbo stops in front of it, looking up at the gloomy building surrounded by a tall black fence, the top lined with spiked wire. Right next to the gates in the fence, was a concrete sign with the words "Las Nevadas City Jail" carved into it.
Tubbo grinned as he turned to look at Ranboo.
"I'm gonna climb the sign." Ranboo laughs.
"Good luck."
"Take a picture when I'm up there! For the memories." Tubbo hops up on the base of the sign as Ranboo pulls out his phone.
"I'm just gonna record the whole thing." He brings the phone up to his face and hits record.
"Noooo what if i fall?" As he's talking, Tubbo moves further up the curved sign.
"Then it will be forever immortalized on my phone's hard drive."
"Damn you!" Tubbo laughs, very easily reaching the top of the sign. It wasn't as tall as it initially appeared. He sits at the top with his legs swinging over the front. "Did it!"
"You gotta stand up!"
"Stand up?!"
"Yeah! For the memories!" Ranboo snickers.
"You're a dickhead!" Tubbo yells back as he begins to stand, doing his best to keep his balance.
"What are you kids doing?" The two turn their heads to see a tall man with dark green hair and a black long sleeved shirt. "You can't be here!" Ranboo quickly puts away his phone as Tubbo scrambles to get down from the sign. The second Tubbo is down, the two take off, laughing as they leave. The man mumbles angrily to himself as he turns back towards the prison.
The two run for a short bit til they're sure they aren't being followed. Once they stop, they burst into even louder laughter.
"Did you get all that??" Tubbo asks excitedly. Ranboo takes out his phone and opens his camera roll.
"Up until we ran off!"
"Yes!!" Tubbo laughs. The two were very close to the department now, they could see it from where they stood. After their laughter calms, Tubbo took out a spray can and handed it to Ranboo, also taking one out for himself and shaking it a bit.
"Jeez, how big is that hoodie's pocket?"
"Dunno, but it's nice." He begins approaching the department building when he notices two men standing outside in front of the sign. Tubbo grabs Ranboo and ducks behind some greenery so they wouldn't be spotted. They don't seem to have noticed them, so Tubbo peeks his head out and listens in on their conversation.
"This is stupid," One begins, Tubbo vaguely recognizes his high-pitched, slightly obnoxious, voice. "How long have we been out here for?"
"Calm yourself Q," the other chimes in, his voice having a thick British accent. Tubbo mentally notes the one letter nickname. "We're on a mission."
"A stupid pointless mission. I've told you a million times this isn't going to be worth it. I doubt they'll even be back today! Then you'll have to get actual work done while your mission waits to be completed next week."
"You give up too easily! Besides, it's a good excuse to get to spend some quality time together."
"My nightmare."
"Tubbo!" Ranboo whispers, catching Tubbo's attention. "What are we waiting for?"
"There's some guys out there, I think they work for the department. And they're not leaving."
"What? Why?" Ranboo stands up to see over the bush, but Tubbo quickly pulls him down, making quite a bit of noise as Ranboo falls into the bush.
"Stay down! You're gonna get us caught!" The noise catches Wilbur's attention, and he quickly tunes Quackity out in favor of listening for other signs of movement.
"Q shut up for a second, I heard something."
"You did??"
"Shit!" Tubbo whisper-yells and quickly puts his hand over Ranboo's mask to deter him from saying anything else.
"Yep, it sounded like rustling leaves." Quackity looks up at Wilbur, unamused.
"Seriously? It's probably just a squirrel or something."
"Hey you never know."
"Well I KNOW it's not two entire kids, or else we would've seen them by now."
"Hold that thought." Wilbur begins walking across the street, towards a very specific area on the other side.
"Where are you going??" Quackity follows, finding it difficult to fully keep up with him. Once they reach the other side, the two children hiding behind the bush are much more obvious.
"Found em!" Wilbur smiles cheerily as Tubbo stands and pulls Ranboo up with him.
"BAIL!" He begins to run, but Wilbur had already grabbed on his hood, keeping him in place. Ranboo is frozen in nervousness, he doesn't dare make a move. Tubbo continues to try and escape from Wilbur's grasp, but as much as he struggles and kicks and grabs at the air, he doesn't move. Quackity steps forward with his arms crossed.
"Would you look at that?" He begins with a false surprise. "Two teenagers." He looks up at Wilbur, unimpressed. Wilbur, however, only grins down at him.
"And I caught them." He states proudly, looking back at the kids in front of him.
"LET ME GO OLD MAN!" Tubbo screeches, still attempting to free himself from Wilbur's grasp.
'"I'm 24 ya brat!" Wilbur snaps back. Tubbo huffs angrily and crosses his arms. Finally calming down a bit, he got a good look at the two detectives in front of him, specifically Quackity. He gasps when he realizes who it is.
"Quackity?!" Tubbo shouts confused, Making Quackity's eyes widen. "I knew I recognized your voice!" Quackity looks him up and down and suddenly comes to the same realization.
"Wait- Schlatt's kid?!" Tubbo gags at Quackity's words.
"Ewww don't say his name!"
"You know this kid?" Wilbur looks between Quackity and Tubbo, confused.
"Yeah, I do."
"How?" Wilbur asks, and Tubbo opens his mouth to answer, but Quackity stops him.
"LET'S get these kids inside." Quackity grabs the taller kid's wrist and begins dragging him back across the street towards the station. Wilbur and Tubbo share a glance, but they soon follow.

-

The two were placed in a temporary holding cell with a single wooden bench while their parents were contacted and informed about the situation by cops. It would probably be quite a while before anyone arrived to pick them up, but at least they had each other in the meantime. Not long after they were put into the cell, a cop arrived holding a notepad in her hand. She had her curly white hair pulled back into a big tight ponytail with a rainbow headband. She approached the kids calmly.
"Hello, i know this isn't an ideal situation for any of us," she looks between them for a reaction, but with both of them wearing masks it was hard to tell. "But I'm going to need your name and your parents' phone numbers." Again she looks between the two, both of them dead silent. "If it makes you feel any better, my name is Puffy. I'm not here to punish you, I'm here to help." She does her best to sound comforting and kind, with her matching personality it wasn't too difficult for her.
"My name's Tubbo. Tubbo smith." Puffy quickly writes it down before approaching Tubbo, handing him the notepad and pen. Tubbo takes it and jots down a phone number. "And my name has two B's."
"Oops!" Puffy corrects the mistake. "Apologies." Tubbo smiles at her to assure her it's fine. She then moves over to Ranboo, who hesitates.
"Um-" he's quiet for a moment. "I-it's hard to spell, I can just write it down." Puffy nods and hands him the notepad. He writes it down, despite his hands shaking, and hands the notepad and pen back to Puffy. She puts the pen in her chest pocket and looks back at the two of them with a gentle smile.
"Thank you, I'll be back to check on you about every three hours, hopefully neither of you will be here that long." She turns away and leaves the cell, locking it behind her and leaving for the office. Tubbo sighs and leans over himself, resting his elbows on his legs and head in his hands. He gently takes down his mask so that it's resting on his chin.
"Well today was certainly... eventful." Tubbo mumbles and begins to swing his legs back and forth out of boredom.
"Yeah..." Ranboo leans back against the concrete wall. "But I had fun." Tubbo chuckles.
"I did too. Caused some chaos, inconvenienced my dad, it was worth it."
"Tommy would've loved this." They both laugh.
"Tommy would've gotten us in so much more trouble than we're already in."
"That he would've." Ranboo takes off his sunglasses, it felt weird having them on in an already pretty dark room. Tubbo looks down at the ground solemnly.
"I don't wanna go home."
"Really?" Ranboo asks with a slight laugh. "You'd rather be in a cramped prison cell than at home?"
"Well at least here I have you with me. Back at home I have to face my dad." Ranboo looks at him confused. "I can hear his voice now, 'what's the one thing i told you not to do kid? Get in trouble with the cops!' And he's probably drunk or something."
"Oh... I'm sorry."
"It's fine, he probably won't be here for a while. He doesn't really care for the police, and he never seems to care for me either." Tubbo rolls his eyes, getting annoyed just talking about him. Ranboo scoots over to his friend and puts his arms around him. Tubbo laughs a bit.
"Shh, I'm comforting you."
"Ok Boss Man." Tubbo chuckles a bit more before Ranboo moves away.
"Do you think we're gonna prank the department again after this?"
"Ehhh, probably not. I don't really wanna get arrested twice."
"Yeah that makes sense. I just hope we'll still be able to hang out after all this."
"It'll be fine! My dad has no idea who you are and even if he did he wouldn't care. We can still have fun! Just maybe not near the police department."
"I mean, sounds good to me!" Ranboo suddenly gasps. "Oh! On the way here, I heard some of the cops calling us a nickname." Tubbo gasps excitedly.
"A nickname?"
"Yep! They're calling us the True Crime Kids!" Tubbo bursts into laughter.
"Really?? That's awesome!!"
"I know right?"
"Yes! I love it! Fear the True Crime Kids!" They both laugh together for a short bit. "So when are your parents coming?" Ranboo very quickly falls silent.
"Ah... um... they... they aren't." Ranboo eyes the ground nervously. Tubbo's smile falls.
"huh?"
"Um... my parents... they aren't really... in my life."
"Oh god..." Tubbo puts his arm around Ranboo, who's hunched over looking at the ground. "Boss Man, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's alright. No way you could've known, I've never really told anyone before."
"Still I..." Tubbo thinks for a second. "I-I know my dad's not the best but you can come home with me if you need to. We can just hang out in my room or... something."
"No, it's ok. I have a place to stay just gotta hope the cops won't push anything. Or put me in the system." Ranboo mutters the last part under his breath. "Thank you though." Tubbo smiles at him.
"Anything for you, Boss Man." Tubbo moves his arm back to his side as Ranboo looks up just in time to see Quackity approach the cell. He unlocks the door and steps inside, walking towards Tubbo specifically.
"Hey kid." He greets Tubbo quietly.
"Hey."
"Are you... doing ok?"
"Like, just in general or right now?"
"Just in general."
"Been alright. You?"
"Better than usual." Quackity sighs and kneels down so that he and Tubbo are at the same height. "Look, I know how your dad is, so if you have any other family members that we could contact, or even just an alternative familial figure that you would prefer..."
"That's alright."
"Ok then... but if you ever need anything, I work here so... feel free to stop by."
"Thanks." The two smile at each other before Quackity stands and walks away.

-

Quackity walks back down the hall, and it doesn't take long for him to run into Wilbur, who was just around the corner waiting for him.
"So care to explain how you know that kid?"
"Nope." Quackity shoves his hands into his pockets as WIlbur dramatically rolls his eyes.
"Aw really? Why not?"
"Don't wanna talk about it. Especially not to you."
"You can tell me ANYTHING, Q." Wilbur puts his arm on Quackity's shoulder, leaning against him with a grin plastered on his face. Quackity cringes.
"Don't touch me." Quackity moves away, almost making Wilbur fall, but he quickly regains his composure.
"Aw come on! Just a little bit? I'm so curious!"
"Seriously, back off." Quackity stops in his tracks and glares at Wilbur. Wilbur looks back, he could tell Quackity was more than just angry, he was pained.
"...touchy subject?"
"You think?" Quackity snaps back sarcastically. "You really need to learn when to just stop and take no for an answer." The two stare at each other for a moment before Quackity sighs and looks away. "I-I'm going back to my office. If you need me you know where to find me."
"Alright." And with that, Quackity turns on his heel and walks away. Wilbur sighs and heads towards the main office. He runs into Puffy, who had collected the children's information and was in charge of contacting their caretakers. She sets down the phone just as Wilbur approaches, seeming upset by something.
"How's it going?" He asks. Puffy looks up and smiles gently at him.
"Hello Wilbur. I've been trying to contact this kid's caretaker but every time i put in the phone number it's just a dead line!"
"Hm." Wilbur picks up the notepad with the information written on it. "Which number?"
"Ranboo's."
"Yeah, from what I can tell that's not a real number. That's not even a legit area code. That or his parents live in another country." Wilbur places the notepad back down on the table and Puffy picks it up instead.
"How strange... I wonder why." She puts her hand to her chin in curious concern, but her thought process is quickly interrupted by the door suddenly swinging open. She stands and approaches the man in the doorway, he's wearing a black cap and a pastel blue sweater.
"I'm here for my son." He says darkly, clearly not very happy to be there.
"You're Schlatt i assume?" He nods. "Of course sir, but you can't have that in here." Puffy motions to the beer can in Schlatt's hand.
"Seriously?"
"Yes, no alcohol inside the building, please throw it away." Puffy stays cheery, despite having no interest in dealing with this man. Schlatt groans, but doesn't protest, throwing the can into a nearby trash can. He slowly turns back to Puffy with his arms crossed angrily.
"Now where is he?"
"Well actually there's a few things I need to tell you first."
"Oh great." He mutters sarcastically.
"You owe us about 300 dollars in fees." Schlatt's eyes widen in disbelief.
"WHAT?!"
"Assuming that your 15 year old child does not have a source of income, it is your responsibility to pay what he owes until he has a job."
"That's insane!!"
"Not particularly, considering your child has been unattended, vandalizing our building for months now, and by all means he is your responsibility." Schlatt opens his mouth to respond, but Puffy continues. "That's not even to mention your own personal criminal record and overdue fines which include but are not limited to speeding tickets, multiple accounts of drunk driving, parking in illegal spaces, and shoplifting. The total amount that you owe us is over 5,000 dollars, I can get you a receipt for the specifics." She's quiet for a second, and just as Schlatt is about to speak, she starts once again. "Also, you have clearly not done your job as a parent to keep your son safe, for as far as i can tell he is not enrolled into the school system and has been getting away with vandalizing and bothering city locals for more than just a few months now. If it is deemed that you are not fit to take care of him he can and will be taken away by child protective services." There's a good long moment of silence as Schlatt waits for her to continue but she never does.
"...you done?"
"I could go on for hours, sir." Her usually sweet smile only comes off as condescending.
"Can you just take me to my son please?"
"Of course! Follow me." She moves away from the office and quickly off towards the holding cell, Schlatt follows tiredly behind.

-

Hours pass, and eventually the sky darkens. Despite Tubbo's departure, Ranboo was less fortunate, stuck having to wait in the cell til long after the sun had set. By that time he had grown extremely bored, laying sprawled across the bench and staring at the ceiling, counting how many seconds he could hold his breath for. Every few hours, Puffy would stop by, sometimes with snacks and water, or to tell him that every phone number he had given her had failed. He hears the cell door click open, and he pauses his counting to see Puffy step in.
"Hey, my shift is ending, but i don't really want to just leave you here by yourself." Puffy approaches Ranboo as he shrugs and looks back up at the ceiling. "None of the phone numbers you've given me have worked, and i couldn't find you in the system at all... do you have parents?"
"Not that I know of..." they both fall silent.
"...would you like to come home with me?" Ranboo looks up at her, a bit surprised by the offer. "I've got room, you can stay as long as you need."
"...are you adopting me?" Puffy laughs a bit.
"Maybe, we'll have to wait and see." She takes Ranboo's hands and helps him up. "Of course you don't have to if you don't-" before she can finish, Ranboo wraps his arms around her.
"ThANk yoU-" he sniffles. Puffy giggles a bit and gently pats his back.
"No problem."

Written by Jammy.