TW: Panic Attacks/Flashbacks/Trauma

As he lay back in the newly crafted bed, thinking about the day. He'd learned so much about player's lives - Did you know it was common for them to die? Or that only a few hybrids could fly? Most players couldn't FLY, only glide with these new things called elytras, that you needed to go to the end for? That seemed miserable to him. 

He'd already made a type of village-cult thing with a few other hermits  - Impulse, who was energetic, and loved red stone (which of itself got like 50x more complicated since the update... that server had been on), Mumbo, who was calmer, but still kind, also somehow used this magical red fairy dust to make things, and Scar, who somehow died multiple times since Xelqua had joined the server, and thought a whole giant wagon was a starter base. He understood players even more than he had from his time in... servers before - But to be fair, that was very far back in time update-wise, and he spent most of his time trying to fix that glitch instead of interacting with the players in the server... He sighed, lying back in the bed, waiting for sleep to take him...

He opened up his eyes, and he was in some kind of grey-ish void. He turned around, looking for any sign of, well, anything but the pure grey made it hard to tell which way he was even looking. 

Right, he reminded. They needed reports... This must be his mindspace. A voice sounded from the distance.

"Xelqua." Ark called. He turned, seeing their masked face staring at him.

"Ark? Is this mindspace?"

"Yes. I've come for your report, and to advise if required." They dipped their head. "Now, please report."

He took a deep breath. "Well- They sensed the breach, and the admin, X-eye-suma, discovered the cause was our magic... no one seems too suspicious of me, other than someone known as Doc, who suspects I may be somehow related to you, but does not believe I am one as far as I know. For the server itself, it's an odd one. We have multiple hybrids, the most notable being Doc, who's a creeper with robotic parts, Ren, who's some type of dog hybrid, a zombie hybrid who's named Cleo and a blue slime hybrid named Jevin, along a few minor hybrids. The admin's panels were the same color as the disruption in the portal, which implies there were no outside forces at play, nor did two admins link their power, which is concerning." He saluted at Ark, as he was taught to do in the schools. He gathered this would be a poor time to do what he normally did and ignore any type of formal conduct.

"Good. We have no new orders for you, but avoid using magic at all costs, even with your mask. At most, if needed, you can do a memory wipe, but you'd need to be careful, and use only in emergencies as they'll be able sense it given information you've given us. Farewell Xelqua. Be careful, and we'll check in the next seven risings of the sun, player-time."

He nodded, before his mindspace faded into the darkness of slumber once more.

His eyes blinked open to the interior of the starter base, adjusting to the light of dawn creeping through the windows. He stood, stretching his wings (startled at first by how brightly colored the parrot wings were), and reached up to adjust his mask, only to remember he had taken it off. 

He sighed, looking up at the roof of his starter base, pulling the mask out of his inventory, and flipping it around in his hands. It was a elegant adornment, made to fit his face exactly. On the front, the Watcher symbol was carved, A rectangle broken up in two of the corners. It gave him a pang of homesickness... He missed Kanvi and Ark...

A knock from the door shook him from his thoughts, and made him jump. He quickly shoved the mask back into his inventory, and walked over, opening the door.

 X stood outside, holding a watch-like device. "Hey Grian, just wanted to give you your own communicator."

"...Communicator?" He asked, tilting his head.

"You don't know what a communicator is?" Mumbo, who had been walking over, and overheard, questioned.

"Oh- heh, the server I was in before was glitched... Stuck in the beta updates." He quickly replied, internally wincing at the memory of the disaster that was... That server.

"Oh, we're going to a member who came from a server like that..." X commented. "Her name is Pearl. She's new this season, along with Gem. "

"P-Pearl?" He couldn't help but ask. "She's... Alive?" Pearl was alive? Then... Could Taurtis be? Oh notch- what if Martyn was alive- that might be bad, Listeners were even more reclusive then Watchers but they would be able to sense his magical signature...- But he didn't want him dead... But Timmy couldn't be alive... It wouldn't make sense... Timmy would have had to die for the server to end... More his friends could be alive though... Like Zee... Netty...

"Wait- You know Pearl?" Mumbo asked.

"Y- yeah... We were in Evo together..." He mumbled.

"Well, that's a pleasant surprise. We had to delay her arrival due to... ongoing issues, but she'll be joining in tomorrow." X said. "So, a communicator is a way to speak to other members of the server far away."

He nodded, smiling as X passed him a sort of watch-like device. He pulled up his long jumper sleeve to put it on, before seeing the scars still visible from a long time ago, small pink lines on his lower arms. He could practically still feel the slice of Sam's knife on his skin... He trembled as memories threatened to sweep him away, before he realized the hermits were still watching him with concern. Pushing down his sleeves quickly, he placed it over top of the jumper instead of under, smiling at the two, trying to ignore them glancing at each other with concern.

"Well, I gotta go try and sort the starter base- It looks like a chest monster in there." He chuckled nervously, before quickly running back over to the base before the others could stop him.

"Wait-" X called, but he'd already shut the door. He pulled up the sleeves again to see the scars Sam had left... The illusion necklace didn't hide it... Why didn't it hide the scars... Why... He felt tears streaming down his face as he slumped against the wall in his starter base.

He wasn't sure how long he just sat there for, crying, memories filling his brain. He knew the hermits would be concerned, but he just couldn't... He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't...

Eventually he stopped crying, and just sat against the wall, his face buried into his knees. Everything was going wrong... 

Another knock on his door made him jump up. He quickly wiped his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened his front door, to see X standing there.

"Ah, hello X..!" He tried to sound bright, but clearly X didn't buy it.

"Grian..." X said. "If there's anything wrong, you know you can talk to me..."

"Oh no, there's nothing wrong! Thanks!" He grinned at the admin, trying to sell it.

"Okay... Well, Pearl's over at spawn, if you want to come with me to say hi- That was the delay with this, sorry- You weren't replying and she was waiting in the hub and-" X replied, still not quite buying it.

"Yeah I'll come! And it's fine." He smiled, more genuinely this time. "See you there!"

"Huh?"

He flapped his wings, taking off skillfully, soaring above the fields and forests, taking another deep breath to try and calm down. Pearl was alive. She might know about the watchers and him... It was the second day since he'd arrived and it was all falling apart.

But, Pearl was alive... Taurtis could be alive too... Maybe? There was a chance... But Martyn? That could be an issue as well... He continued to think about this until he was flying above the spawn, and saw a figure standing by the portal. He dove down into her, tackling her to the grass below them.

"PEARL!" He called out, grinning at her, excited to see his old friend.

"Grian?!" Pearl called out to him. "You're alive?" She grinned as well, smiling

"I'd say the same thing- X told me you'd survived but... I couldn't believe it... seeing the crater..."

"After... They took you... I thought I'd never see you alive again..." She flung her arms around him.

"I'd heard of the destruction... I thought everyone died...D- Did anyone else make it out?" Tears threatened to squeeze out of his eyes.

"I don't know... The day it happened is still really blurry in my memory... All I can remember is... them... and a bright purple light... and the world exploding..." She shivered.

"I'm so sorry..." He whispered, as X swooped down. The three talked for a while, both Grian and Pearl both silently agreeing to not speak about the watchers or the final days of Evo. 

A/N

Woo we're getting a bit of angst up in here, but still not much

Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them here! I'll be happy to answer them.

WC: 1543

- Xera/