"I love you Ilhaam" says Zayan and reaches out to hold my hand. I feel reluctant because I've never held hands with a guy before but he sounds so sincere with his words. Standing next to him at this beach itself feels so pleasant and peaceful. We both have genuine smiles on our faces. Everything seems so perfect. But do I really want to hold hands with him? I haven't even done that with Sameer. Wait, this is my special moment with Zayan. Why am I even thinking of Sameer? I try to distract my thoughts, when Zayan suddenly pulls me by my hands and walks towards the water. Is this some kind of game? I scream asking him to stop but he keeps dragging me further until we reach a point where the waves are pretty rough and the water is deep. He immediately drowns me and walks away. I cry for help but nobody comes. I desperately try to breathe but I am not able to do it. I struggle for some time but I guess I'm nearing my end. I feel numb. Perhaps it's my last breath. "I failed. I failed" my mind keeps uttering when everything suddenly goes blank as someone claps on my shoulders.

I open my eyes, sit on the bed and realize it was mom who just woke me up from a nightmare. A nightmare so similar to what happened in Trinco nine months back, soon after my breakup with Sameer. I used to have these nightmares a few times during that time. But today's occurrence is strange because I haven't had these in a long time.

"Is everything alright, Ilhaam?" asks mom interrupting my thoughts. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good. I was just up all night doing some work. Must be that" I say. Mom gives me a strange look and says, "Okay drink your tea and get ready. Time for your run, right?" I unlock my phone to check the time and yes, she is right. I have to go. "Sure mom. I will" I say with a smile and mom leaves the room.

Ugh! I feel so disturbed now. Could this nightmare be some kind of sign about Zayan? Should I talk to someone about it? Maybe Naomi or Salima. Nah, I'm not going to do the same mistake that I did with Sameer. This time, whether Zayan and I get into a relationship or not, I'm going to maintain it as a secret and not tell anyone. If it's really needed, I will reach out to Amer. But that's for later. For now, I must first decide on my response to Zayan.

Ever since he confessed his love for me yesterday, I've been having this weird feeling in my stomach. I don't know what's going on but it definitely doesn't feel right. Though it was kind of my dream to hear those words from him, after it happened, I feel more scared than excited.

Zayan is the kind of guy who a girl like me can only have a crush on and never get the feelings reciprocated. He is way out of my league. It's obvious. So, he suddenly saying that he likes me is super weird. It feels like a prank. I was truly up all night coming up with so many theories. And none of them were positive.

I mean, we don't even know each other well yet. What if he is a married man or a serial killer or even a ghost? You never know right! But even if he was any of those three options, I'm sure he could still find a better girl than me. So, why choose me? It's scary and creepy.

It's not like I don't love myself. I absolutely do. It was before the therapy days that I used to feel insecure about my looks. Now, I believe I'm beautiful and worthy of love. But still, Zayan-freaking-jawline claiming to be in love with me, is a little unacceptable for my heart. I mean, what if he is looking for a rebound and I just happen to be the easiest target? I have to be careful this time, right? I can't let another Sameer episode happen to me again.

The best thing is to stop overthinking and directly ask Zayan some of the questions that's really bothering me. I can text and find out but it's better that I meet him in person so that I could observe his facial expressions and body language as he answers those.

So, I message him, "Hey 😊 Possible to meet today?" As soon as I send it, he replies back and we continue to exchange a few texts.

Zayan: Hello drama queen👸🏾
Zayan: yes sure 😀
Me: great 😁
Me: 1 pm?
Zayan: absolutely
Zayan: available anytime for u 😛
Me: haha so cheesy 😂
Zayan: are you going to say 'yes' already? 😉
Me: 🤨
Me: just a survey
Zayan: work-related? 🤔
Me: nah
Me: life-related 😎
Zayan: what kind of questions? 👀
Me: weird ones
Zayan: okay 😟
Me: 👻

It's just a very stupid chat but I'm smiling already. This is the thing with Zayan. I'm too excited around him. I'm too impressed with his intelligence. I'm too obsessed with his perfect jawline. So, if he breaks me, I'm sure that the repercussions will be higher than what happened with Sameer. And that is my biggest fear in accepting his love.

I enter Second Chance and find Zayan reading a book as always. I walk upto him and say, "Hey! How are things?" He looks up and says, "Not bad drama queen. Just a little nervous about the survey. Take a seat, please." Damn that jawline! It's perfect enough to win over any logic or reasoning in my head. I can blindly say 'yes' just for that.

"Umm..so shall we start?" I ask with a smile. "Sure. I will put this on silent first" says Zayan and starts meddling with his phone. "Wow. You haven't even done this for our official meetings" I say with a chuckle. "I know. I'm just trying my best to win your love now" says Zayan with a wink.

"You men are all that, aren't you? Best behavior at the beginning and the worst comes out eventually?" I ask. Zayan raises his eyebrows and says, "I don't know about the others but I'm always at my best behavior. Unfortunately, it requires you to say 'yes' if you want me prove it because it's a life-long experiment, you see." Damn! Is Zayan being extra flirtatious after the confession or was he always this and only now am I noticing it?

"Okay whatever. So umm...you don't even know the real me. How can you say that you are in love with me?" I ask. Zayan says at once, "Of course I know you very well. I learnt a lot about you from your speech at Amer's event and we also have worked together for the past few months, Ilhaam. Isn't that enough to understand about a person?" Poor Zayan. He doesn't know that most of what he has seen in me is a facade that I wear. He would run away the day she sees the real me.

"Everything that I said or the way I behaved all these days is not the real me, Zayan. Since I had a very professional relationship with you, I only exposed my perfect qualities in front of you. I'm more than that. I'm an emotional mess. I have a ton load of insecurities. I have a hard time in trusting people. My past still haunts me in some ways. You wouldn't be able to even handle half of my issues" I say with a sigh.

Zayan smiles and says, "You should give me a chance to see whether I can handle it or not. How can you decide for me?" Well, that's a very valid point. But giving him a chance means putting my life at stake, isn't it? He wouldn't understand it even if I tell him, would he?

"And the other thing is that it's been just four months. Don't you think it's too soon for a big decision like this?" I ask. Zayan smiles and says, "No, it's not. It's well-thought-out. Listen, one thing I want you to know about me is that I'm not a romantic who is completely driven by a few good moments or feelings. I'm a realist who considers a lot of things before I make a decision. And I know, with you too, I did that. Definitely not a hasty decision."

Damn! There's a thing like this? All I know is that I'm a hopeless romantic. This is new. So Sameer is a romantic too? Is that why he admitted his feelings for me within a month? Ugh! Who cares about that dumbo anyway? I must stop thinking about him! He is nothing but a waste of time!

"I don't know. You sound wise as always and I think I believe you" I say with a chuckle. Zayan smiles and says, "Thanks drama queen! By the way, your questions are not weird at all." Oh poor boy! He doesn't know my capability. I must ask him a few questions that completely leaves him speechless. Maybe that will help him understand what kind of mess he is dealing with.

"Wait, I'm yet to ask you those. Let's start with this one. So, you haven't even seen me without my hijab. What if I'm bald?" I ask. Zayan gives me a strange look and asks, "Are you though?" Trying to hide my smile, I ask, "That's your response? So, if I'm bald, you wouldn't want me?" Zayan laughs and says, "Nah nah I guess I'd be fine. I have great hair. So, we can compromise it with mine."

"Dude that's such a self-obsessed way of answering it" I say shaking my head. "Well, that's what you get when you ask tricky questions on purpose. Ask me something better, drama queen" says Zayan with a chuckle. "This is my survey. I will ask whatever I want. Be patient" I say with a frown. "Yes ma'am!" says Zayan looking all cute. I will never be able to say 'no' to him, will I? I'm afraid.

"What if I look human on the outside but an alien for real?" I ask with a straight face. I know I'm wasting time asking silly questions but this is kind of fun. "I always knew you were weird but alien wasn't an option I considered" says Zayan with a serious look of concern on his face. "Okay so answer this hypothetically. What if you find out that I'm an alien? How would you feel?" I ask with a chuckle.

Zayan thinks for sometime and says, "Well, I don't know whether I have told you this before but honestly, I'm very much interested in finding details about extraterrestrial life. So drama queen, you would probably become my gateway to that world. Meaning, I would love it if you are an alien." With that we both break into a laughter and I say, "Seriously, you had a response to my alien question. You are unbelievable!" Zayan smiles and says, "Yeah, see, this is what you will miss if you say 'no' to me — lifelong humor!"

"Haha whatever" I say rolling my eyes and Zayan says, "Shoot the next one, Miss. I like your questions." Looks like he is having fun too answering my absurd questions. But I'm not sure how he will take the next one. Though it may sound like a joke, it's a real doubt in my head. I hope he doesn't get angry. I mean, how can someone so perfect like someone so ordinary? There must be some catch, right?

"Umm..so Zayan..uh..are you interested in women?" I ask. Zayan gives me strange look and asks, "Is that a trap?" I smile awkwardly and say, "No, honestly, are you attracted to women or—? I just..uh..you know..umm..I hope you understand what I am asking."

Zayan laughs and says, "Oh, Ilhaam! Seriously? All I can say is that I am attracted to you. So you tell me, whether that answers your question about my interest in women." Smart response as always. But that doesn't really clear my doubt.

I just sigh and he says, "Ilhaam, I can see discomfort written all over your face. Don't overthink it. I'm straight." Ugh! I feel so bad about even asking him that but I had to be sure. His words seem believable. I must stop thinking of him this way. He is still smiling. Not an ounce of anger on his face. I don't really deserve him, do I?

"I'm so sorry Zayan. I shouldn't have...I just..umm" I struggle to speak when he says with a smile, "That's fine. It's your right to know. I didn't take you wrong. But some day when I meet your family, I will tell them that you asked me this, drama queen." I roll my eyes and say, "Dude! No way! My mother would scold me for days." Zayan laughs and says, "Just kidding. Let's go to the next weird question."

"Are you or were you ever married?" I ask awkwardly. Zayan makes a very sad face and says, "I'm sorry but—" and he pauses. I knew it! He is married. He is just looking for a second wife. That's why he has chosen me. "What?" I ask looking confused. "I acted as the groom in a school drama when I was in grade 4. Does that count?" asks Zayan with a chuckle.

"Dude! You gave me a mini heart attack! No jokes like this please!" I say angrily. He laughs and says, "Sorry sorry! I just wanted to see your dramatic reaction. I shouldn't have done that. Can I compensate with a piece of chocolate cake, please?" I shake my head in denial but he calls one of his staff and requests for it.

"I don't want the cake" I say. "Just have it drama queen. Perhaps it will help you come up with a sweet response." says Zayan with a smile. "Haha, I wish it was that easy" I say with a sigh. "What's so difficult about it anyway?" asks Zayan. Can't he see how different we are? Is that even a question to ask?

"I don't know Zayan. There are a lot of complications in this" I say. He gives me a surprised look and asks, "Like what?" Well, I can go for hours listing my insecurities that make me feel like Zayan and I can never be a good match. But I won't do it because that would just affect his opinion about me being a confident person, which might impact my professional image too.

"How about the fact that you are my client and it's not right for us to do this?" I ask, picking the lamest point I have in mind. "Ouch! Did you just client-zone me?" asks Zayan with a chuckle. "May be I did. But that's just one of the many reasons." I say.

"Perhaps you should talk to me about these other complications. That way we could figure out things together" says Zayan, suddenly sounding all serious. I sigh and reply, "I'm afraid about a lot of things — some, which I could discuss with you openly and some, that I cannot. I even had a nightmare about you this morning."

"Oh, so you dream about me now?" asks Zayan with an impish smile. He clearly did not hear me, I guess. "Nightmare, I said nightmare. You drowned me in the beach water and left me to die" I say with a frown. "Damn that's brutal. Let me think. Would I ever consider doing that to you?" asks Zayan in his thinking pose.

"Stop joking Zayan. It's not funny. This happened for real" I say, shaking my head. "Yeah, but in your dream, I mean, your nightmare. I'm not responsible for that, right?" says Zayan as I keep frowning at him. He then pauses and asks, "Wait, am I supposed to apologize for what happened in your imagination?"

I just smile and he says, "I'm so sorry, Ilhaam. I will never drown you in water, not even if you reject my love." We both break into a laughter and I get up to leave. "Okay nice guy. You proved to be a true gentleman. Anyway, I have to go now. I will see you soon" I say with a smile.

"So is that a 'yes'?" asks Zayan with a wide grin. "Hell no!" I reply. "So it's a 'no'?" he asks. "Yeah...no...I mean, wait, I just got the survey done. Next, I have to analyze it and then the results will be out" I say.

And as I walk out, I hear Zayan say, "See you tomorrow, drama queen, perhaps with more questions."

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Since some of you all asked for a longer chapter, here it is 🌚 Hope you like it 👻♥️

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