*******058:

Rafe

I had told a radio station announcer that our new song Night of Daylight would be out within weeks. It was a bold faced lie--- there wasn't and never had been any such song. But being in Montana for Christmas had opened up a world of producing that I'd never encountered before in my career.

All the guys were here--- and all of them--- each and every one except me was going through some kind of personal love life crisis. It made for good writing. Every one of them was coming up with material. We jammed all the time. We collaborated all the time. And lo and behold, there was a studio close by, and two freaking amazing producers on hand, ready and willing, the most good-natured, talented, professional guys in the business.

Axis typically wasn't fast in the studio. Never had been. I've mentioned it before, but it's the truth. We take our time. We like to make things perfect. We like to deal with one song at a time, and get it right before moving on to the next. We tend to joke around a lot, and waste time as well.

This trip was different.

First of all, Ben was a walking, talking nightmare. He'd thought freaking Shellie was the one and then she broke up with him--- her reason?--- he wasn't worthy of her. The blow was devastating. Seriously. That's a psychological blow to anyone, and no matter what anyone said to him about Shellie not really knowing him, and lots of fish in the sea, he still plummeted into a major depressive episode. At first he tried really hard to access the spirit and do things that way, but eventually, he began to revert to old coping mechanisms. This put a strain on all of us.

Jeff and Rhonda literally got a divorce. How that came about is anyone's best guess. I spent night after night up with him--- also coping in rather unusual ways that taxed my ability to keep my covenants--- listening to her flaws and their flaws and all the reasons why it wouldn't have worked out.

Nothing positive about that.

Jeremy was a love sick puppy. Hannah went back to school and they struggled through their courtship long distance. This was bittersweet and aggravating. Bittersweet watching them make foolish mistake after foolish mistake, and aggravating because no one could tell them to stop it and just get married and have freaking sex.

My answer for everything, right?

Mutt rocked the world. He'd had a girlfriend, and then dumped her, then he had another, and dumped her too. Then he came up for Christmas and met Lance going through the throes of a gay divorce--- not my fault, I hope--- and decided he might be gay.

There is a lot of confusion in our world about these gender identity issues. As they become more and more common-place, and accepted in society, there are more and more people confused about themselves and their experiences.

Take poor Levi for instance. Thanksgiving night, he'd been about to propose, and his gal revealed that she was attracted to her sister's best friend, and they'd been experimenting with their gender roles. That put them out of the question.

There is a noticeable lack of marriageable hot LDS women looking for rocker boyfriends to marry. We discussed this lack all the time---- to the point of embarrassment, as my entire band spent half their day chatting online with lying females on LDS planet and LDS singles.com. I say lying--- because nine out of ten are not who they portray themselves to be. The pic is of them twenty years ago--- they are not active, and haven't been for years. They are all divorced and raised six stinking troubled kids alone--- and their stress levels are off the charts. And all of them portray themselves as active, beautiful, simply passed up by all the non-baggage carrying temple worthy males in their stake and singles conferences. All of them were stay at home moms with very little actual skill or education, so they get out there and chat with my guys and get them all thinking they're the one, and then turn out to be Brunhilde---- or who's a famous LDS girl? That girl on steroids.

Yeah.

Our home--- the crash pad for the entire band--- became this drama fest for wanna be priesthood holders floundering in self-pity and testosterone.

I thought the band might break up.

However---

That really wasn't our way.

We'd--- most of us anyway--- been together too long. We knew each other too well, and were too old to start looking for another band, or another life-style. We were freaking comfortable with Axis, as well we should be. Axis was a money making machine--- and enabled all of us to pursue all our wildest dreams--- except, of course, meaningful relationships and temple weddings.

I was discussing this with Aubrey as we showered after our yoga session and hot yoga-induced sex one morning, when she suddenly smiled and kissed me hard, her eyes twinkling. "I've got it."

"Got what?" I personally thought she did have it--- all of it--- she was everything these guys wanted and needed. She was perfect.

"Laurel has a sister--- she's in her mid-twenties--- she's a vocalist, I'm pretty sure, and she's active in church and she's single."

"Laurel who?"

"When I talk about people Rafe, who am I usually referencing?"

"Your siblings?"

"Yes!"

"And Laurel--- have I met her?"

"They were here for Christmas--- Ammon and Laurel? He's one of the Mongolian boys--- Marshall's twin?"

I didn't have a clue. They all looked the same to me. And it really wasn't all that fair considering some of them were identical twins. I never got Melia and Megan right and they were apparently the easiest.

Aubrey twisted my nipple causing a yelp--- not of pain--- and exited our shower--- much to my dismay. A few minutes and good rinse off later I found her at her desk--- she'd had a desk put in our room in an out of the way alcove. I dried off---- walking toward her stark naked. She looked up, sighed in appreciation which was what I wanted her to do, and then turned back to her phone, which was not what I expected.

"What are you doing? Playing matchmaker?" She waved a hand at me to be quiet and I sat on the edge of the bed drying my hair.

"Hi, Victorine?" Her voice was sweet and cautious, and then she put the phone on speaker so I could hear .

"Yes?" Came a very melodious female response. "This is she. How did you get this number?"

"I'm Laurel's sister-in-law Aubrey Mann. Do you remember me? We met at Travis's blessing three years ago? How are you?"

"Oh, yes! I remember you. Sorry. It's a private number, and I've had to start really screening calls."

"I have been following your career, it looks like you are doing very well." Aubrey's voice was sticky sweet, and my eyes widened.

"That's very flattering, thank you. I thought you were a baby doctor or something."

Aubrey chuckled that fakey chuckle girls do when they just want to humor someone and get to their point. She did. "So, listen, I am looking for a vocalist on my husband's new album, there are a couple of songs that may need collaboration, and I remembered you."

There was a funny little pause, and I realized Aubrey was a genius--- a downright, bonafide, authentic amazing genius.

"I am not currently collaborating...." Victorine was really hesitant, so I knew Aubrey was about to drop the bomb.

"I understand, I was just looking at your line-up and realized you just finished the Dubious Academy Tour, opening for Canvas Offense. That's really awesome. Your music style is very similar to my husband's, and I really think you might be an asset to our album. The point is my husband is headlining on the Walk of Disaster Tour starting in March, if you work out on the album collaboration, it's possible they would consider you for an opening act."

"Excuse me? Your husband is headlining on Walk of Disaster? Who is your husband?" Her voice was skeptical and incredulous.

I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Walk Tour was ages above Dubious.

"Rafe Stryker. Of Axis. We were married this past July."

"Holy freaking Moly! I didn't know! Gees, Aubrey, are you kidding me?"

"It's all networking, Victorine. It's all who you know." Aubrey was smooth, I'd give her that. When she wanted to drop names, she knew how to do it.

"What made you think of me?"

"Well, honestly, Victorine, you know I'm an active member of the church--- and we are looking for other members to work with--- not that we can't work with non-members, but right now, we are changing our image a little. You know..."

"Yes, actually, I do know. Rafe has definitely been changing his image since Troy died. I follow Axis. How did I miss his marriage?"

"You were on tour?" Aubrey suggested with a quirk. "It doesn't matter. We are currently recording at Rosewood, for about the next four weeks. Would you be interested?"

"Absolutely. Yes! What about my band? Do you want all of us?"

Aubrey was staring at her computer screen intently. "Is om... Chantel your keyboardist and main backup vocals?"

"Yes, but she's having a baby in February. She might be taking a break from the band."

Aubrey scrutinized the names and information about Victorine's backup band. She was fast.

"You write your own music, right? If any of your girls are composers and would possibly like a chance to collaborate, there might be an opportunity for them. I see that Rowanne served her mission in Bulgaria, is that right? Are your gals all currently married? I wouldn't want to mess up their spouse time."

"Oh, no, only Chantel is married. It's kind of hard starting a family and working with the band, you know?" Victorine's voice had changed from wary to very open. I leaned over Aubrey's back and stared at the picture of the gals in the band. All young, all good looking, and all---- yeah--- they looked like clean cut, but fiery little rockers. How had Aubrey known?

I patted her on the back and then zipped up my jeans. I pulled her damp hair aside and checked the clock. I was meeting Zack and Parker in the studio in ten minutes, which would be six a.m.

I'm married to a genius. A bonafide, authentic, matchmaking, amazing genius. She was definitely in the wrong profession. Baby doctor? What? This girl needed an online dating service, she'd make more than me!

I whistled as I straightened my shirt, and buttoned the little buttons all the way to the top. It was just one of those T-shirts with long sleeves that---- yeah, dad and I designed, since I like them so much. I smoothed and then messed my hair again, checking in the mirror.

Aubrey was giving names and phone numbers, and taking a few as well. She clicked off with a smug smile and I shook my head slowly at her, with as devastating of a grin as I could muster. And I could definitely muster....

"You are my baby." I said slowly. "My amazing, awesome, girlfriend, baby, genius."

She was laughing at my lame choice of adjectives.

"It really does make a difference---- knowing people."

"I don't know anyone." I said, smoothing her curls, and letting my hands fall to her sides, shaking out her fingers and then lacing them. "You are a goddess."

She pretended to accept the accolades. "But now don't go warning anybody, or setting any stages. Nobody can know. The worst, absolute worst possible thing Rafe is meddling. If you tell a soul--- anyone--- it will ruin it, completely--- and cause very hard, I mean, devastatingly hard feelings. This is just a fluke, if anything comes of it, it will be our little triumph, and ours alone. No one can ever, ever know."

"Sacred." I said against her lips, feeling myself warming to her warnings. I pulled her closer and pressed her hips to mine.

"Yeah, like sacred." She pressed back, and I trembled with that instant reaction her willingness gave me.

"I have to be at the studio." I groaned.

"The kids are about to be up." I noted she was in clean yoga clothes and would be ready to fix our children a healthy breakfast, take them to yoga and swimming, and I would have to be back for our morning devotional at nine. Man, I love this woman!

"Don't overdo, right? Abbie's coming?"

She nodded. "She'll be here soon."

I nodded, satisfied and toddled off to work--- 'cause I'm the man, and that's what I do.

******