You stared blankly down at the letter, it was small, and it was really hard to read in this light as everyone was huddling over it, but it only consisted of a sentence, and that was brief enough for you to make it out.

'We have your allies and leader, show up to the entrance of the Totto estate at nightfall or they'll pay the price'

Honestly you were confused as to how to feel right now, Kidd was taken from you, and that alone had a massive blow to your emotional state, leaving you exhausted and drained, but now they had Luffy, your friends, and you could still feel that burning anger try to flare up from the dying embers.

It was.. uncomfortable, you should be livid, you should be throwing a tantrum and pounding on the heads of the perpetrators that dared do this as if their skulls were the drums of war, but you just couldn't, every attempt was squashed down by an exhaustion that felt so heavy that it turned your bones into lead.

Letting out a weary groan, you glanced back at Killer, who seemed to have not been taking it any better as he disassociated from everyone, the blonde could only manage a blank stare into his mug with a distant and mournful air about him.

Your thoughts were derailed as Nami growled to herself, seemingly starting to go ragged as she took it upon herself to lead the group until you all recollected yourselves, something you were inwardly grateful for, but you honestly couldn't show it for the life of you.

"Alright, now that we know that Big Mom has Luffy, we gotta come up with a means of retaliation by ourselves" the strawberry blonde grimaced.

Brook, being the one of the only two other people figuratively calm and collected over the situation, gave the note a dirty look, before sullenly turning to Nami with an apprehensive posture.

"Why did Big Mom attack Trafalgar and.. Eustass, at the same time though?" Brook hesitated to bring up the deceased in front of you, but managed to continue on anyway with a nibble to the lower lip.

"It was a tactical decision" you all turned to Robin, "they wanted to cut off our potential allies and lure us out where they could get us without angering Whitebeard"

Nami groaned at the information, "well it seems everything's gone according to their plan.."

You whined, which was answered with a comforting pet to the head by the kindly raven, "(Y/n), I think its best if you go get some rest"

Suddenly, you were much awake and aware, all previous fatigue promptly forgotten as you shook your head wildly in decline, "oawh!" You growled.

"She's right (Y/n)" everyone was shocked to find that the one to turn on your case first was Killer.

You began to whimper in protest, but was swiftly cut off by a sharp hiss by the gangster, shocking you into silence, "no- listen, those bastards killed Kidd, and we're gonna fuck them up, but the only way to do that is with you, you're our secret weapon, but you ain't kicking any ass in that state so go get your ass in bed!"

Killer easily herded you from the room and pushed you in the direction of the guest rooms, giving you a pointed look as you hesitated in leaving but ultimately caved in, not from his glare, but when it turned into something more begging and desperate.

Without a word you slunk away to your room, staring at the bed for a good while before falling into it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were eventually brought out of it by a timid knock at the door, "(Y/n)? You awake now?"

Fumbling out of the bed, you clumsily maneuvered yourself off the mattress, but forgot to pull away the blanket and ended up in a tangled mess on the floor with a graceless thud.

Grimacing at your predicament, you moaned long and weakly, being too lazy to do anything about it, but was abruptly forced awake again as the door slammed against the wall and all you could hear was the whirring of an electric razor.

"(Y/n)?! What's wrong-?! Oh" The whirring stopped, as Killer fully took in the sight of you writhing on the floor in a half panic.

"Caah..!" You gave the blonde an irritable look, one which he replied with a wince.

"Sorry, when I heard you moan like that I thought you were hurt.." without a warning, Killer hauled you up, still wrapped up in blankets, placed you upright on the bed, and sat by you with a furrow in his brows.

He just sat there, and you were too nervous as to question what was going on and resorted to just twiddling your thumbs, effectively cowed into compliance.

You seemed to have been doing that a lot as of late, and it didn't really feel that great..

"I'm sorry about treating you like that earlier" you perked up at the apology.

The gangster awkwardly hunched on himself, eyes flitting between you and the wall, whatever expression he was wearing was hidden by the bandanna hastily tied over his jaw, a recent development as Robin deemed his hockey mask inappropriate with his injuries.

"Mwwuerrr..?" Tilting your head to the sudden stiffness in his body, his blue eyes finally locked with your own and you felt staggering awareness come over you as the drowsiness was flushed out.

"Kidd.. Kidd was my best friend.. now that he's gone, I don't really know what to do but avenge him.." his bangs fell in front of his face, and for a moment you couldn't see what he was thinking at all until he halfheartedly pushed the locks aside.

"You were someone who managed to take his heart, and you're my friend too, I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you and.." Killer curled up on himself with shrugged shoulders, "it was inappropriate and insensitive of me to call you our 'secret weapon' like that, I shouldn't have suggested putting so much pressure on you"

You growled at that, catching the blonde's attention as you motioned for him to hand you your sachet.

'I am the secret weapon! I'm gonna wreck those guys!'

You couldn't see it, but you were sure from the softening in his eyes that he smiled, "yeah, you'll be sure to give them a great introduction.." the gangster slouched over, contemplative.

'Did you guys figure out what we're doing as a response?'

His blue eyes narrowed before focusing on you, "yeah, we got a plan, but I'm afraid it'll be difficult"

You brightened up in excitement and allowed yourself a series of delighted snorts and growls as you fidgeted on the spot, amusing the blonde as he kept you from accidentally slobbering onto him in your playful frenzy.

'What's my job? Am I gonna snipe somebody?'

"Actually, your job is more focused on espionage than full out foot soldier"

You tilted your head with a short coo, now all ears.

"Big Mom doesn't know about you, you're the player she won't expect, so we've decided the best option is for us to go do as she says on the surface, but while she's dealing with us, you go sneak in, find the guys, bust em out, and raise hell before she even knows what's going on"

'I like that plan!'

"It's messy, you'll have to wing it and figure things out as you go along.."

'I'll do it my own way! I got this!'

There was a deep rumble within the bigger man's throat, the sound reminded you a lot of Kidd, as he would chuckle often whenever it struck his fancy to tease or mess with you, and without much thought, you fell into Killer's chest with a lurch of regret.

"(Y/n)?" The blonde thought twice before hesitantly resting his hands on your hips, he tried to pull you back to see what was wrong, but you just buried your face deeper into his shoulder.

"(Y/n).. you alright?" You keened sadly, and before you knew it, you were a sobbing mess, nails digging deep into his back whenever he tried to pry you off before you were ready.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong?"

You've never really gotten used to this unexpected part of being a ghoul, emotions were powerful, they ran rampant within you and didn't hesitate to take the reins, if you were happy, you'd start to drool and howl, if you were sad, you'd cry a river.

And god forbid when you were genuinely angry.

In the beginning it wasn't so hard as you'd have little to cry or cheer about, but now it was unbearably difficult and that frustration only made it worse, turning laughs into roars and tears into waterfalls.

You've tried numbing your emotions for a while, but it felt sickening to do so, it was like bottling too many things inside a jar that was already full, and you've even gotten sick over it.

"(Y/n)-?!" Within the lapse of concentration, Killer was able to dislodge you from him, and cursed at the absolute mess you were in, although, as he hastily tried to wipe away the slobber from your chin, you pinpointed on the stains in his clothes and shrieked harder in shame.

"(Y/n)- you gotta tell me-" "igsss maaah haaallt..!" The gangster grew quiet as you continued to ramble somewhat discernible words to complete gibberish.

"ah- eurrr- eeee- itttzz mai haultt!" You continued to howl even as he gasped in astonishment.

"He- cah! heee.. he anted mee tah- bwah.. bwaat heem..." the remorse built up within you suddenly came flooding out, and with the confession, a weight you couldn't live with was taken from you as well.

Killer's arms tightened around you, "Kidd.. wanted you to turn him?"

You shrieked in response, not very smart considering your mouth still wasn't that far from his ears, but in such an emotional state, you couldn't quite get a grip of yourself anymore.

The blonde was quick to shush you, and in a flash, he cradled you close again and began to rock back and forth, a simple motion, but it immediately put you at ease.

"Did you..?"

Your chest threatened to lurch again, but with the way Killer pet your head and cradled you close, you were able to avoid collapsing on yourself this time around, "Iggaah- I- I didn't! I didn't doo ittt! I froooze..!" You didn't even notice the words coming from your mouth as you wailed into the crook in his neck.

"I leet himm diee, Killeer!"

"No you didn't.." you continued to cry, but this time, allowed the man to back away from you, "you froze, that's understandable.. I froze too when the first explosion hit the base.."

You continued to wail, curling up into his side as he laid the two of you down upon the mattress.

Killer shushed you repeatedly as he combed strings of his hair out of your face, he tried to get you to angle it away, but was only met with a more stubborn grip and thought better of testing how far gone you were.

"We'll get them for this (Y/n).. both of us" Killer sighed to himself, half hovering and half buried by your sleeping body, fitful and whimpering with your face hidden in the crook of his neck.

By the time the rest of the gang went to check up on you, what they found was the two of you fast asleep in a tight, comforting embrace.