TYSM for 8k!! I couldn't fit a special chapter, but it really means a lot!! I love you all!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙

Is it bad that my mind immediately thought of a one night stand joke?Everyone: Yes.

Undyne: What in the fuck?? (confused laugh)

Welcome to today's episode of random anecdotes with bloo!I was in class and a kid put his hand up and got the question wrong. The teacher asked us if the answer was right and some kid from the back of the class shouted out "OF COURSE NOT HE'S GINGER!" It was that day I realised just how stupid my sense of humour was.

Undyne: (snrk) Seriously?! >w<

I get that Sans told you in the first place but.. you kinda did get a little harsh there Undyne.

Undyne... look... I love you and all, you've always been my favorite character and a role model to me but... don't try to blame others for your actions. Yes, Sans did start the snowball rolling, but you did choose to continue its tumble. Also, I believe that in all reality... you are all just scared. Sans was scared, Papyrus is scared, you're upset, and all these emotions never result in good actions and results.
I'm sure everything will be fine and sorry for turning into a parent there with my moral talk.
You're still awesome and an idol, everything will turn out okaY in the end

Undyne: ...I hope so...

This fucking comment is a bit fucking over the fucking top would you fucking say?

Dramatic much?

AND THAT KIDS IS WHY ME, THE FIRE VOMITING DRAGON NEED THERAPY

Undyne: No... I deserved it...

Hissssssssss *edgy dragon noise* stop blaming people when you could be telling papyrus sorry

Undyne: I don't even know where he is, and he probably doesn't wanna talk to me anyway...

Yeeeeey the cutie is awake

Claire: (sitting on her bed, smiles brightly) You think I'm cute...? Thank you!! ^\\\^

*sits down next to clarity*What happened child?

Claire: Oh, I've just fallen down a hill the wrong way a few times... and got attacked by a dog...

Yes, that would be our goat momma

Claire: She's really nice! ^^

Toriel: (pokes head in the room) Claire, my child? Do you need anything?

Claire: No thanks, Mrs. Toriel. I'm okay.

Toriel: Alright. Call me if you need me! (leaves)

*epic hug*

Claire: (cute intensifies) ^w^

*sigh*
Well enjoy your stay here then

Claire: Thank you... =w=;

C'mon, relaxxxx, it's not that bad. *rolls another joint, lighting it*

Claire: (almost mimics Toriel's death stare) Put out the joint, naked green thing.

OMG, DID GINGER POSSESS PUMPKIN?!?!

Claire: Pumpkin is a boy though... and Ginger was a girl... but it's... possible... (realizes that Pumpkin acts freakishly similar to Ginger) ...

YOU DON'T SAY

*Confused Screaming*

Pumpkin: ...

Claire: (doesn't seem to have noticed Pumpkin completely untouched, is now worried) Why are you screaming?! Is something wrong?!

Hmmmmm
We could ask some of our friends to help you then

Claire: That would be helpful... thank you...

Frisk is dead, only on Tuesdays

Nope, they're alive and Frisky as ever!

Frisk: *pops out of nowhere* I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVE!

Claire: FRISK!!! (bear-hugs them, ignoring her ankle)

Frisk: (hugs back tightly) Claire!! It's awesome to see you again!!

Claire: How the heck are you even alive?! That fall almost killed me!!

Frisk:  D E T E R M I N A T I O N !  >:3

Claire: (laughs and hugs them again) I missed you so much...

Frisk: I missed you too, Clarity.

Asker you know how high you sound right now?

Frisk: Who's been in the drugs again?!

Claire: What's that smell?

Frisk: GOD DAMMIT TURTLE I SWEAR IF IT'S YOU!!!

*looks at orphanage of children Toriel adopted like 50 chapters ago or something*
Oh trust me toriel. We know.

Toriel: I love children... I just want to take care of them... ^^;

It's better to be fashionably late *poses dramatically and shoves MTT off of the stage* THE SPOTLIGHT IS MINE DARLING~

Mettaton: (looks offended, then chuckles and smiles at the asker) You're truly fabulous, dear.

Is this how parents flirt

*KINGDINGS INTENSIFIES*

Gaster: (flushes red in less than two seconds) (bad at lying) What? Flirting? Noooooooo...

Asgore: (can tell immediately, plays it off like he can't) (just makes a confused face)

Me: *doesn't give a fuck about animals* I'm gonna need a better analogy. Also Asgore did you just impart humans I dogs what is wrong with you?????

Me: (huge animal lover) ;~;

Asgore: (smiles, then frowns and sighs) A lot of things...

Gaster: Shut up, nothing is wrong with you! (hugs him)

Asgore: !!! (smiles) Thank you, Gaster.. (hugs back)

Gaster: (realizes what he just did) *This turned out better than I thought it would!*

Much proud. Very dad.

Both: ^^

...God fucking dammit, dings.

*disappointed glare at Gaster*

GASTERRRR

Gaster: (confused) What did I do...?

Asgore: I'm not sure...

* Papyrus treads through the snow, one hand in his pocket.

Ohohohohohohoho~ 'Busy' huh?

Papyrus: (shrugs a bit) I have a lot of things to do. What else would I be doing? And why do you think I haven't slept in over a month?

* IT HAS BEEN ALMOST OVER A MONTH SINCE THIS BASTARD GOT ANY SLEEP?!?!

Frisk: *gasp!* I thought we had something ;n;
(Bloo still can't take anything seriously)

Frisk: ;^;

Papyrus: (startled by their sudden appearance, jumps a bit) Oh, human! Um... hi?

Frisk: Paps y u replace meeeeeee, I thought I was your frennnnnnn

Papyrus: *think fast papyrus!! uhh--*

* He picks them up and hugs them, maintaining his usual cheer.

Papyrus: You are my friend! I've just known Undyne for longer. I consider you both my best friends!! And Flowey too! Nyehe! ^^

Frisk: (smiles and hugs back) I can settle for that.

* Papyrus gives them a kiss on their forehead before letting an asker take them back home.

Papyrus: (smiles a bit) Cute..

*looks at kitty* >_> oh sure. The humans late.

Me: i'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ;w;

Papy.
Papy no.
Sans was f*cking scared. Maybe he won't admit it or act like it, but you're really scaring him. He feels unable to help you, because you aren't allowing him too, so of course he was going to spill. He is trying to do what he thinks is best, even if you don't like it.
He just wants to be a good brother.

Papyrus: ...

===FLASHBACK TIME===

* 9-year-old Papyrus is sitting on the couch with 16-year-old Sans. Gaster is four hours late to come home. Only Sans knows why.

Papyrus: ...SANS?

Sans: (looks over) What's up, Paps...?

Papyrus: ...WHERE'S DAD...?

Sans: (eyes disappear, looks down) uh... he's... o-on vacation, Paps...

Papyrus: OH! ...WHEN WILL HE COME BACK? CAN WE GO VISIT HIM?

Sans: We can't go see him, but he'll hopefully come back soon... but until then, we've got each other, okay?

Papyrus: ...OKAY. I TRUST YOU.

* Papyrus hugs his brother tightly. Sans hugs back.

Papyrus: HEY SANS...?

Sans: Hm?

Papyrus: YOU'RE THE BEST BROTHER I COULD EVER ASK FOR. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.

Sans: ... (smiles and tears up a bit, hugging his little brother tightly) Thank you so much. I needed that. And right back at cha. I promise that everything I do, I'll do to keep you safe. No matter what happens, no matter how stupid or menial you think it is.

Papyrus: I'LL PROTECT YOU TOO. AND YOU PROMISE?

Sans: I swear on my life, Papyrus.

Papyrus: ... (smiles) ...ALRIGHT. I KNOW YOU WOULDN'T LIE TO ME.

===END OF FLASHBACK===

Papyrus: (just looking down, has stopped walking)

Ben: (appears out of nowhere) Papyrus...? Are you alright...?

Papyrus: (doesn't answer)

Ben: Come on, buddy, talk to me... what's wrong...?

Papyrus: (mumbles a bit under his breath)

Ben: Huh?

Papyrus: (speaks up) Sans is the reason I am alive at all. Without him and his support and care, I would have died a long time ago. He promised me on the day that Dad died, back when we were still just kids, that everything he would do, he would do to protect me. He swore on his soul. If there's a single scratch on him when I meet those three, the snow will be red with that rabbit bitch's blood.

(This is for paps)
*parent mode on*
*grabs Papyrus' arm with a strong grip*
Papyrus why?

Papyrus: (a but startled) Huh??

*pulls down both of his sleeves*
*grip gets a bit stronger*
Just why?

Papyrus: !!!!!

* His hands and wrists are all bandaged, with large blood spots here and there.

* He tries to shake the asker off.

*lets go of his arm*
Go save your brother. We'll talk about this later.

Papyrus: ... (quickly pulls his sleeves back up before heading off without responding)

Ben: What happened to him...? Is he hurt...?

* He meets the trio by the Ruins door. Sans' hands are duct-taped together behind his back.

Papyrus: SANS!!

Sans: (tries to smile, too frightened of the group) Hey Paps..

Ambrosia: This is what happens when you cut off our pay flow. (steps forward, one hand on Sans' shoulder and the other reaching out towards Papyrus) Pay up, Boss-man, and you can have this little freak back.

Sans: Bitch, have you seen yourself?

Ambrosia: Quiet before I cut your throat. (turns back to Papyrus) Don't bother trying to solve this physically. It's 3v1, you can't win.

Papyrus: ... (eye twitch)

Ambrosia: (smug smirk) Well?~

Papyrus: (eye sparks) Not naturally, I can't.

* He pulls a small pill bottle from his pocket. Sans' eyes shoot open.

Sans: pAPYRUS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING—!!!

* Not listening to his brother, the taller skeleton quickly takes two of the pills. His eyes shoot open, both of them erratically flashing red, orange and yellow.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Ambrosia: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Sans: PAPYRUS WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHIT IS LIKE POISON

* He's gone...?

* A flash of orange light behind Ambrosia, and a knife is pressed against her neck, creating a thin cut.

Papyr||ERROR—CODE A-I-PV/\/\PK1N/\/:
L̴̫̗͔̥̺̺̦̪͐͆̑ͯͬͬ̀̚̚Iͩ͒̄̏ͯ͗̊̚҉̻̬͍͖̮G̗̦̞͌̍̆̊̔͝H̨̯͒̉̐ͮ͛̊̾͟͜T͍̘͍̟̣͗̑̉͛̈́͐͘͞͝Ş̼͔̫̬͖͇̄̆̓̇ͤͨ̄͜ͅ ̣̫͍̭̗̫ͨ̌̎̆̄̈͡Ỗ͔̭͖̼̲͍̲̞͒U̸̝͇͙̯̣͂͗̆̅ͧ͆͘Ṱ̴̺ͯ̓̈́̆̐̒́ͤ,̤̻͍̳͉͇̻͌̏ͯ͆̑ͤ̇ ̛̗̜̟̘͈̤͙̱̽ͮ̆͘ͅB̷̷̰͖͈ͣ͞I̢̱̼̠͌͊͑T̶̻̗͊̊̄̌͠C̴̟̜̮͎̹̆͋͟͡H͍̩͕ͦ̃͆ͣ!̧̛͉̌ͬ͋̋ͩ̇ͭ͋

* A sharp movement upwards, a splash of red, a lot of screaming, and psychotic laughing clog Sans' senses. As Ambrosia's hands fly up off his shoulders to cover her eye, he feels dizzy, and the ground shortly comes up to meet him.