"HOW'S the car?"

"Good," she answers before shoving another forkful of pasta in her mouth.

Nang walang ibang sinabi ang tatay niya, waiting for her to expound, Maureen takes a deep breath and adds, "Um, it's running well. Very smooth. Walang problems. I'm using it 'pag lumalabas kami ng friends ko and when I visit Kuya. Thanks again."

Each word feels like vomit in her mouth, but she promised herself she'd be civil kasi malaking tulong din naman ang kotse. Kahit secondhand, at least mayro'n at hindi na napapagod si Kuya Inggo sa biyahe papunta at pabalik from Blue all the time.

"That's great. I'm glad," sabi ni Michael with a smile, pouring soda into her glass. "You're graduating soon, right?"

"Next semester," she answers shortly, fiddling with her pasta again, but makes an effort to at least look him in the eye. "Kuya is almost done with second year. He—"

"I'm here to talk to you...about you, Mau," her dad says quietly, still smiling. "Your brother answers my messages. Nakikita ko rin siya sa bahay 'pag dumadaan sila ni Jiya. Pero ikaw...you take every chance you can get to avoid me, so I really want to know more about you."

Maureen fists the table napkin on her lap with her hands. Then she says, "I...am fine. Doing well in school and writing my thesis. I really enjoyed my OJT last summer so baka 'yon din ang gagawin ko when I graduate."

His smile widens, relief evident in the slump of his shoulders. "I read all of your articles and shared them with my colleagues. You have a talent, Mau."

"Thank you."

Humingi siya ng menu. "You like sweets, 'di ba? Anong gusto mong flavor? May strawberry, may lemon, chocolate, tiramisu..."

She takes a steady breath and looks at him.

She has wrestled, for years, with the resentment she has only felt for the first man she ever loved. Naisip na niya na baka OA na siya. Matagal na 'yon, baka too harsh siya on him. Dapat mag-move on na lang siya o dapat gayahin na lang niya si Kuya Migo.

Pero hindi mawala-wala sa isip at puso ni Maureen yung sakit at grief when she looked at the door every night and waited for him to come home because she was sure he was going to. When she sent him message after message about her day that he never read or replied to and left him voicemail after voicemail that he never listened to or returned. When she cried herself to sleep and Kuya Migo rocked her and said, "Dito si Kuya, Mau. Wala kang ginawa, walang mali sa 'yo, dito si Kuya, Mau," whenever she asked him kung ano bang mali ang ginawa niya at ano ang pwede niyang gawin para bumalik ang tatay nila.

Her bottom lip quivers as she exhales.

"May mocha din," tuloy niya, looking at her expectantly. "Anong—"

"Cheesecake," sagot ni Maureen nang mahina. "Cheesecake na lang. Paborito ko 'yon kasi 'yon ang parating binibili para sa 'kin ni Kuya he was in high school. Dinadalhan niya ako n'on para lang makita akong ngumiti."

The smile on his face begins to fade. "Mau...I am trying." He sounds so tired. Almost as tired as Maureen feels sitting here in front of him. "At iba pa rin ang kuya mo sa tatay mo."

"To me, they're the same person. This dinner does not mean that I've forgiven you. The car does not mean that I've forgiven you."

Michael swallows thickly. "I know that. All I'm asking for—"

"You are not in a position to ask me of anything. And Kuya can forgive you all he wants, it's his right and his decision, pero ako? You made me believe na madali lang akong iwan. That my love—that I—was never enough for you to stay. I begged you, naalala mo? And you shrugged me off like lint on your clothes. I know you're trying to make amends, but I don't think I can find it in myself to ever forgive you for what you did to my kuya because he shouldered all of the burden when I, Mama, and Megan were broken. Nagpalakas siya para sa 'ming tatlo dahil sa 'yo no'ng bata pa siya and if the trauma you left us breaks him or me or Megan in the future...I will look at you and see nothing but a waste of oxygen."

Maureen stands, her throat closing up. "I can be civil. We can talk as acquaintances. I'm grateful for the car and the support sa money, pero ayoko na ng ganito. In time, maybe I can smile at you. Maybe I can look at you and not feel like a little kid begging her own father to stay and to love her. Pero ngayon, hindi ko pa kaya. Thank you sa dinner. Please excuse me."

She quickens her steps to the parking lot and calls her brother as soon as she's on the road.

"Mau."

"Kuya, I love you," she says, sniffling. "Mahal na mahal kita, Kuya."

"Ano nangyari? Are you okay?" he demands, concern and worry lacing his voice. "Nasa'n ka? Ano ginawa ni Michael?"

"Wala," Maureen mutters, gripping the steering wheel. "Na-overwhelm lang ako, he didn't do anything. Kaaalis ko lang ng restaurant—"

"Are. You. Okay?" he bites out. "Ano ba, Maureen, nag-aalala ako, ano ginawa niya—!"

"I'm fine, Kuya," she rushes out. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Sorry for worrying you. I just wanted to tell you that."

"Putangina, Mau." Kuya Migo breathes out a sigh of relief. "Tangina, don't—don't you ever call me crying again. Don't—" He exhales heavily again. "No, disregard that. Call me when you're crying, call me when you're not, sabihin mo lang agad kung ano ang rason para 'di ako magka-heart attack. Akala ko kung ano nangyari sa 'yo."

His words make her cry even harder.

"Umayos ka, baka masagasaan ka sa kakaiyak mo," Kuya Migo mutters. "Ikaw ang una kong bibilhan ng Bluetooth sa kotse mo 'pag may pera na 'ko, Mau. Sorry 'di ko magawa ngayon."

"Kuya, shut up." Maureen takes a deep breath. "I love you, Kuya."

"I love you too," sagot niya agad with a smile. "Alam mo 'yon, Mau. Always. Dahan-dahan sa daan, text mo 'ko 'pag nakauwi ka na."

She does when she arrives at Kuya Inggo's—Inggo's condo. Her heart feels lighter from her conversation with her brother, but shock greets her when she finds her favorite food and dessert on the table with a bouquet of beautiful blue roses.

He pulls her inside after a quick kiss on the lips and dumps her bag—her bag with all her stuff kasi bawal siyang mag-iwan ng gamit dito dahil baka mahuli sila ni Kuya Migo—on the couch with a thud.

"What's all this?" Maureen whispers, racking her brain in panic. 'Di pa naman nila anniversary. Hindi naman niya birthday.

He clears his throat and looks away. "Well, I assumed your talk with your dad wasn't going to go well and I wanted to...make your day better."

Maureen stares at him. "Sure ka bang wala ka pang naging girlfriend?"

Kuya I—Inggo looks pleased. "Deins, baby." He strokes her cheek, brushing it with his thumb as he studies her face. "You okay?"

Maureen surges forward and hugs him tight, locking her arms around his neck. Inggo carries her with ease and squeezes her back. "My day was already better just seeing you," she mutters, kissing his jaw. "But thank you."

"Want to talk about it?" he whispers. "I hate seeing you in pain, Rinn. He's not worth your tears." He pulls back just a little to cup her face and brush the wetness away with gentle fingers.

"It hurts because I should be crying to him about you," she mumbles, swallowing the lump in her throat, "but instead I'm crying to you about him."

"You shouldn't be crying at all."

"Kasi panget na 'ko? Ayaw mo na sa 'kin?"

"Rinn, ang dami ko nang gustong kainin sa table na 'to, bwisit, tapos dumagdag ka pa. I-mu-mukbang kita e. Don't bullshit me with that."

Natawa si Maureen.

He grins, and his smile has all of her bones melting. "That's my girl. You wanna shower muna and change into my clothes before we eat?" One of his hands travel down to squeeze her butt, and he leans in to whisper in her ear, "Before I eat?"

"Mm."

Inggo kisses her. Once. Twice. Then he turns her around and slaps her butt, pushing her to the bathroom. "Go. I left a shirt inside for you na, I'll get your shampoo and your loofah sponge shit thingy from your bag."

Oh, she has the best boyfriend.

And it would be appropriate to be the best girlfriend as well.

Maureen wakes up on his bed alone, hugging his pillow. After their dinner and Kuya I—ugh, Inggo's...enjoyable dessert between her legs, he returned to studying for his test and Maureen worked on her thesis beside him, though it was quite distracting to get any actual work done when her boyfriend kept squeezing her thigh and tracing the line of her underwear under his shirt, kept stealing kisses, kept playing with her hair.

Hanggang sa mapagod na si Maureen kababasa ng mga journal articles for her RRL and just fell asleep on his desk. Inggo carried her to bed and tucked her in para makatulog siya nang maayos.

Hanggang ngayon na malapit na mag-midnight, gising pa rin siya, nag-aaral pa rin with his hand on his forehead.

Kahit inaantok pa rin siya, Maureen gets up quietly and pads towards him to run her hands over his shoulders, leaning down to whisper, "Tulog na tayo, baby. Bukas na 'yan."

He sighs and captures one of her hands on his shoulder, turning his head to kiss it. "One last hour. Go back to sleep."

Without taking her hands off his body, she rounds his chair until she's right in front of him. "One last?"

Inggo smiles weakly. "Yeah."

"How will you make it through the last hour kung ganyan ka ka-demotivated?" Maureen sighs, tilting his face up to kiss him deeply, her hand passing through his ear and cheek. "You need some support, Kuya Inggo?"

"Thought we established you were going to start calling me Inggo by now," he rasps, eyes widening when Maureen slowly drops to her knees under the table, eyes locked on him, hands on his thighs. "Rinn..."

"I need to get used to it pa," she whispers, cupping him through his boxers, and Inggo hisses through his teeth, watching her with dark eyes.

Then his hand drifts over the crown of her head and his fingers thread through her hair before he tilts her chin up. "You want me in your mouth?"

Maureen eases down the waistband of his boxers, exhaling in a rush when the length of him springs free. Hard and heavy. "Yes."

"Tangina," he grates, leaning forward to pull her hair back with his fist, then slaps her face with it softly. "All yours, Rinn. I'm all yours."

She wastes no time wrapping both hands around him and guiding the head of him in her mouth. She licks around it and lets him slide into her mouth, over her tongue.

"Ah, baby, s'good," he slurs, fingers tensing in her hair as he pulls it back from her face. "So good. Look at me."

Maureen does, eyes meeting his as she bobs her head slowly, gripping his thighs.

"So gorgeous with my cock in your mouth," he breathes, still holding her hair back with one hand and stroking her face with the other. He looks so out of it, grunts and gasps leaving his lips, his stomach shuddering from the pleasure of watching her suck him, and the ache between Maureen's legs intensifies when he stills her face and pushes his hips up, groaning. "Son of a bitch, putanginang 'yan...get up, get up before I come and sit on my lap, baby. Take off your shirt."

The lightheadedness may have come from standing up too fast, but it's more likely from the taste of him still left in her mouth and he pulls her to him to kiss her with urgency and desperation. Inggo wraps his arms around her as she sits on him in nothing but her underwear. "I need you, please, please, now."

"Push me aside," he orders, grazing her neck with his teeth, his chest and hers rising and falling rapidly. "Get me inside, Rinn."

Maureen does as he says, her jaw dropping and eyes rolling back when Inggo drives into her with one, hard thrust. "Shit, shit, oh, fuck," he gasps, his hips smacking against her backside as he thrusts into her again and again.

A tingling sensation starts at the base of her spine, her breaths coming out in short pants.

The unwelcome ring of an incoming call stills them both.

"Wait, wait," Inggo gasps, clutching her hips. He reaches out with one arm for his cellphone and his eyes widen. "It's Migo, may practice test kami."

Maureen whines and sighs, hugging him. He looks as crushed as she feels. "Okay, go answer it."

Tiningnan siya incredulously. "Rinn, I'm still inside you."

"Please. Don't tell me you haven't answered his calls before while still inside someone else."

"Kapatid ka niya," he hisses, fingers flexing around the phone still ringing. "And girlfriend kita. It's different."

A slow smile appears on Maureen's lips. "Are you telling me you can't do it, Inggo de Paz?"

His jaw twitches and his eyes narrow.

Then he presses answer and puts the phone to his ear. "O."

Maureen grins, burying her face in his neck and peppering his tanned and sweaty skin with sweet kisses while he strokes her back.

Inggo isn't moving and lowly, she hears her brother's muffled voice on the other line, but all Maureen cares about is how she can feel every hard inch of him buried in between her thighs.

"Staph Aureus," he answers with ease, his hand going down to her butt to squeeze it.

Maureen pulls back to look at his smug and grinning face. He winks at her.

She raises an eyebrow and rolls her hips once.

The hiss Inggo makes, the jolt of his body, and his free hand gripping her hip hard enough to leave marks has Maureen stifling her laughter.

"Wala 'yon, may nahulog. Uh, B12 deficiency," he chokes out to answer Kuya Migo, glaring at her. "Stop it," he mouths, his jaw clenched.

Oh, if it were anyone else calling, Inggo would still be fucking her and answering test questions without difficulty.

Pero dahil si Kuya Migo 'to, the one person he needs approval from and the one person Inggo would like to impress, suddenly it's impossible for him to fuck her.

It's adorable.

His breaths are labored as he continues to stare at her with warning. "Lithium."

Maureen grinds on top of him slowly, locking her legs around him.

Walang nagawa si Inggo kundi to shut his eyes, hang his head back, and sit there, feeling it, biting his lip to keep in his moans.

"Ethosuximide, putangina," he grits out, sweat lining his forehead and his hips kicking up involuntarily. "'Di ako galit sa 'yo, tangina, ang hirap kase!"

Maureen doubts he's talking about the question. She kicks up the speed and watches his last thread of control snap.

"Dopamine. Craniopharyngioma in children or pituitary adenoma in adults. Lens shape! Gago, kailangan ko na mag-banyo, bye!"

The squeal that leaves Maureen's lips turns into a groan when he carries her with one move, tossing his phone on the desk, and slams her into the mattress on her back.

And fucks her harder and deeper, slapping her butt again and again. His hands close around her throat. "Bad girl," he whispers in her ear. "Take it. 'Yan ang gusto mo, 'di ba? You're gonna pay for that."

Oh, he makes sure Maureen does until she passes out in exhaustion and she hears his laugh in her ear, endeared.