"Good morning, Princess," Jullian mutters as I wake up, yawning in the process. I turn to him and smile, him quickly kissing me before getting out of the bed, into the bathroom. I slowly turn back to my previous position, my eyes slowly starting to get droopy again. I jolt awake not much later to the sound of my alarm going off... just to figure out Jullian woke up only 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off.

Damn you Jullian.

I slowly make my way off of the bed, starting by forcefully kicking the blanket on my legs, then slowly sliding my body off of the bed, onto the heated floor. My eyes start to get heavy but then a door slams against the wall, waking me up instantly.

"Eleanor?" Jullian asks, my eyes all of a sudden no longer sulky.

"Um... yes?" I ask, caught off guard by the use of my full name.

"Can you get off the floor please and explain to me what this is?" He says, obviously trying to keep his voice steady. My heart immediately starts racing and I slowly get up, looking to see Jullian holding an orange bottle.

My medicine.

"What do you mean Jewel," I slowly play it off, attempting not to stutter.

"Don't lie to me... please," he says, looking at the bottle, then to his phone in his other hand.

No no no n-

"Sertraline may treat clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety distorder, post traumatic stress disorder, fibromyalgia, bulimia, premenstrual syndrome, body dysmorphic disorder, prementrual dysphoric disorder, agoraphobia, trichotillomania, and seasonal affective disorder."

"Jullian it's not-"

"Please tell me you have the premenstrual syndrome and not any of the other things on that list," he whispers, making eye contact with me. I remain quiet and he looks down at the bottle then to me, his eyes overfilling with sadness. "Not because of me."

"I didn't want to tell anybody okay?" I admit, slowly getting up, "I didn't want people's sympathy... I didn't want to be treated differently so I didn't say anything."

He continues to stare at the bottle, slowly moving it to look inside through the plastic, "please tell me it's not bulimia because Norie if it is I-"

"It's not Jullian- it's not," I reassure him, walking over to him. "Look I just didn't want to scare you like this okay? It's nothing... I promise," I say with a small smile, gently pulling his head towards mine and placing a kiss on his forehead. "I promise I was going to tell you at some point" I sigh, taking the bottle from his limp hand and putting it in my bag, "last night was just a lot."

"Why didn't you just tell me though? I wouldn't treat you any differently," he says, which I simply shake my head.

"You would. You can say you won't but inside you know you would... and that you will," I say, muttering the last part. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, sitting on the end of the bed.

"But why hide it? I mean, does anybody know? anyone?"

"Yes, there are people who know, Jewel. They only know because they had to."

"Who? Anthony?" He scoffs, my silence pissing him off more, "okay."

"Are you seriously going to get mad right now? Yes, it was him. I told him and not you because-" I start to ramble, stopping myself.

"Because why?" He asks, standing up.

"Nothing, it's not a big deal," I mutter, heading for the door but Jullian blocks it with his hand in front of me.

"Tell me, Elle." He says, his arm hovering above me as I turn my back towards the door.

"No."

"Elle just fucking tell me okay?!" He raises, letting out a heavy breath, "please, just tell me why," he says quietly then lets out another deep breath.

"Because he was there when I got it, he was there when we knew I needed it."

"When?"

"A few years ago," I mutter, Jullian's breathing stopping for a brief second, then returning at a very slow pace.

"Why?"

I take a deep breath before managing to mutter the word "you," the room falling completely silent. "A lot of stuff happened after that that wasn't just you, I needed it."

Jullian doesn't say a word as we just stand there, my heart rate speeding up. I refuse to look at him as he takes deep breaths, his arm falling limply to his side. All that is audible are my shaky and short breaths in contrast to his slow and hollow ones. We continue to stand there in silence before he slowly opens the door, exiting in front of me in one swift movement, closing the door behind him, in my face.

・・・

After what feels like hours the door slowly opens, causing me to turn towards it to see Jullian's mom looking worried. "Sweetie can you come out here please," she pleads and I nod, slowly making my way towards her. We walk out in unison, walking towards the commotion.

"Where the hell is he?!" Jullian seethes, pushing over the couch, pulling at his own hair. 

"He's looking for Anthony," she says quietly, "he wasn't here when we woke up and he refuses to talk to us."

"I can see that," I sigh, walking towards him. Before he can argue I grab him firmly by the arm and drag him out the front door, slamming it behind us. "Are you kidding me Jullian? How old are you? 2 years old?!" I immediately raise my voice at him, dropping my grasp on his arm. 

"It's his fault all of this happened you know," he says, keeping his demeanor.

"It doesn't matter Jullian, that doesn't mean you have to go on a wild goose chase for him. It's over, it's in the past and I can't change that. You're overreacting."

"Overreacting? God forbid I'm trying to find someone who hurt the one person I love Eleanor." He scoffs, looking me in the eyes, "not like you'd do the same."

"Not like I'd overreact and act like a fucking toddler? Yeah, you're right... I wouldn't."

"Do you even love me? Because honestly, it doesn't seem like it."

"Are you fucking serious Jullian? You're just like Anthony," I shake my head backing away from him, "this is ridiculous."

"Like Anthony? Are you in love with him or something?"

"He asked me if I loved you Jullian and I said yes, god what has gotten into you." I sigh, crossing my arms.

"Then say it."

"What?"

"Say that you love me." He says, crossing his arms as well. "I know the Eleanor Maxwell won't say something she doesn't mean." I stay quiet and scoff, walking past him... towards my car. "That's exactly what I fucking thought." He yells as I open the door.

"You know maybe Anthony was right, maybe the only reason why I stayed with you is that I was hoping for you to change into something I deep inside knew you were never capable of," I say, a tear slowly sliding down my face. He watches as I get into my car, him walking inside and slamming the door behind him when I close my door. As I'm sitting there I look at my dashboard to see a small piece of paper resting where I also placed my keys. I pick it up and slowly open it, revealing Anthony's handwriting.

I open my glove compartment and throw the paper in, shutting it forcefully. I grip the wheel tightly before letting out a frustrated scream. I take a deep breath, thinking of places to go, then start the car.

・・・

"Are you fucking kidding me," I scream as I pull up to my house to see not a single light on, and not a single person home. I pull into the driveway and take out my phone, clicking on my mom's contact.

"Hellooooo," her drunk voice says, cheers going on around her with loud Latino music playing in the background.

"Mom it's 11 am why the hell are you drunk? Are you at a day club or something?" I ask as she begins to giggle.

"No stop it," she giggles to someone there with her, "okay maybe another," she complies, more people cheering, her attention going back to the phone, "No sweetie I'm on a South American tour cruise."

"Where was my invite?!" I gasp, giving her the devil eyes through the phone, "I'm hurt."

"It's a two-month cruise and you aren't even 21 yet," she reasons, a scoff coming from my mouth.

"Soooo, once we're away from the USA border I can drink at 18 mom, and who needs college anyway," I chuckle, almost able to audibly hear her eyes roll.

"Your father and I did not pay for out-of-state tuition for you to miss out to get drunk with your mama," she laughs, "Well I have to go, love you!" She begins to yell as the cheering gets louder.

"Okay love you too, mom," I smile and hang up the phone, throwing it in the passenger seat. I sit there for a moment and stare at the house. "Where to now," I sigh, slowly looking over to the glove compartment... where to go.

・・・

Author's Note: voila! It's supposed to snow for the 2nd time in 2018 and the 3rd time in 10 years in Texas todayyyY!  We got off of school because the roads are supposed to be dangerous and I'm so happy you don't understanddddd (:

I hope you all liked this chapter, a little more serious again... the next few chapters may be that way too I'm not sure yet I kind of just go with the flow and see where it takes me (:

What do you think should happen next? Comment below!

・originally published January 16, 2018・updated on July 27, 2019・